


What even is this?

by Rennez



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Crack, F/F, F/M, Gratuitous Swearing, Group chat, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I added stucky because i didnt know what else to add, I made a new ship, I'm gonna screw up their happy lives just wait, Ill probably add them because I am not a shipper, Irratic updates, Just suggest ships, LOTS OF CURSING IM WARNING YOU, M/M, Swearing, Texting, They all text, This Is STUPID, i dont really ship stuff so pls, lots of swearing, no beta we die like men, pls give me ship suggestions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 63,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennez/pseuds/Rennez
Summary: We've all heard the expression, high school AU or chat fic, what if there was a third option? Hi, welcome to a really weird story.





	1. Avengers GC Beotch!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoy, I know I will, this is just to combat some writers' block because I hit a brick on everything else so I need a less serious but fun side project. Also, I'm pulling text names out of my ass, so please give me suggestions. Oh and here's a key for this chapter, I can't always tell who's who in text fics, so here's the list. I will add more as time goes on.
> 
> IronBoi- Tony  
> MightyShield- Steve  
> BirbyBow- Clint  
> BadAssSpiders- Natasha  
> RedMagic- Wanda  
> FlyBoyDonuts- Sam  
> SmokeWeed- Bruce  
> ThunderMan- Thor  
> Mindroid- Vision  
> SiberiaSoldier- Bucky  
> WarMachine- Rhodey

**IronBoi** added **MightyShield, BirbyBow, BadAssSpiders, FlyBoyDonuts, SmokeWeed, RedMagic, ThunderMan, SiberiaSolider, WarMachine** and **Mindroid** to **Avengers Assemble!**

**IronBoi:** Welcome, gals, pals and that technicolor rainbow in-between, to the wonderfulness that is about to be this chat, the... *drumroll* Avengers!

 **BadAssSpiders:** What. The. Fuck. Tony. It's 3 in the morning. I NEED SLEEP.

 **BirbyBow:** Language.

 **MightyShield:** That was one time, ONE TIME!

 **BirbyBow:** And it will haunt you, forever. When you're on your deathbed, we will come back from the grave, all corpselike and rotting, wander up to your bed and as you're about to take your last breath, whisper 'Language' in your ear, you will die only hearing that word.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Never mind Tony, WHAT THE FUCK CLINT?!

 **RedMagic:** I can see his house across the street, he's pulled several all-nighters in a row. He's probably running on nothing but caffeine now.

 **IronBoi:** Aren't we all?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** No, some of us get a normal amount of sleep and don't depend on caffeine to live.

 **IronBoi:** Boo, what fun is that?

 **MightyShield:** We normal people aren't sleep deprived.

 **BirbyBow:** SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK AND I AIN'T A PUSSY!

 **SmokeWeed:** Calm down Clint, no one here is a pussy.

 **RedMagic:** He might have downed a few Red Bulls, it's a possibility.

 **RedMagic:** Actually no, it's 5 hour energy.

 **RedMagic:** Nevermind, it's both. Mixed together.

 **RedMagic:** In a... vodka shot? 

**BadAssSpiders:** Clint, you're going to kill yourself.

 **IronBoi:** Is no one going to address the underage alcoholism?

 **BirbyBow:** Better to go out by my own hand than dying because I wasn't prepared for a Calculus test.

 **IronBoi:** Apparently not.

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** And this is why some of us AREN'T in advanced classes, you end up a broken person.

 **IronBoi:** Ha! Jokes on you, Donut boy, some of us are already fucked up!

 **Mindroid:** I don't believe that's something you should brag about, sir.

 **ThunderMan:** Why does he call you 'sir', Stark?

 **IronBoi:** So you know Jarvis, right?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Isn't he your family's butler or something?

 **IronBoi:** Correctumundo, anyways so he has a kid.

 **RedMagic:** Jarvis has a child? Is he not always giving you talks about not having kids 'at your age'?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** So Mr. Abstinence has a kid? That was conceived. By sex.

 **BirbyBow:** That's an impossibility, don't you remember when you were like, 12, and he gave a lecture about not having sex and remaining virgins till basically the end of time?

 **BadAssSpiders:** He gave all of us that talk. Don't think we're not still traumatized.

 **Mindroid:** Yes, my father can be a bit intense at times.

 **BirbyBow:**...

 **FlyBoyDonut:**...

 **SmokeWeed:**...

 **ThunderMan:** Jarvis is... your father?

 **IronBoi:** Isn't it obvious?

 **BirbyBow:** IT WASN"T TO US YOU FREAKIN GRAPE!!!!111!!!

 **BadAssSpdiers:** Clint, calm down. You're making typos.

 **SmokeWeed:** Al Yankovic would be dissapointed.

 **BirbyBow:** Shut up, u pot head.

 **SmokeWeed:** At least I can pass Calc, unlike you.

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Damn.

 **IronBoi:** Getting a little personal there, aren't we? We should stop before it turns into a civil war.

 **Mindroid:** There would be nothing civil about it, sir.

 **RedMagic:** Did Jarvis' spawn just...

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Make a semi-funny joke? I can't belive it.

 **SmokeWeed:** Is it really that much of a surprise? I mean, he hangs around Tony all the time, the sarcastic little shit vibe is bound to rub off.

 **BirbyBow:**...aye. That's what she sa-

 **BadAssSpiders:** YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT TEXT SO HELP ME I WILL STRANGLE Y-

 **ThunderMan:** Friends, why must we fight, we should stick as close as _lim_!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** _Lim_? What is that?

 **ThunderMan:** Sorry there, I forgot the English world for glue.

 **MightyShield:** I sometimes forget that you come from Norway.

 **IronBoi:** How is this relevant?

 **MightyShield:** It's not... it's just... I forget.

 **IronBoi:**...ok. Anyways, who's seen the newest season of Voltron?

 **BirbyBow:** I haven't! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SPOILING IT FOR ME STARK!

 **IronBoi:** Do you mean character arcs or events, because I'm telling you man, Lotor is so cool in this like after he kills-

 **BirbyBow:** SHUT UR FUCKING MOUTH STRK

 **Mindroid:** If Al Yankovic was around, I think he'd probably kill Clint.

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Why is your butler's kid so good at roasting people?

 **BirbyBow:** Shut the fuck ur mouth, Wilson, I will fudge u up

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Fine then, fudge me up, do it, birby

 **MightyShield:** Guys...

 **BirbyBow:** I am going to kick your ass so far downtown, not even google maps will find you!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Like you could get anywhere without google maps you technology dependent weirdo

 **MightyShield:** Guys

 **BirbyBow:** Don't test me!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Yeah, you'd probably fail that like every other test you take, you moron

 **MightyShield:** Guys!

 **BirbyBow:** At least I'm not some sort of bird knockoff, I was the original!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** At least I brought honor to the birdboy title! Falcon is cooler than Hawkeye and you know it!

 **MightyShield:** GUYS!!

 **BirbyBow:** Take that bake you salty stealing dick!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** At least I know more words than 'dick' and 'fuck'!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** SHUT UP! STEVE'S TRYING TO TEXT AND YOU FUCKERS KEEP CUTTING HIM OFF!!

 **ThunderMan:**...

 **SmokeWeed:**...

 **IronBoi:**...

 **IronBoi:** ...gay

 **MightyShield:** DUDE!!!

 **IronBoi:** what

 **MightyShield:** Dude

 **BadAssSpiders:** tbh, you guys are like the straightest gay ship and it isn't even funny

 **SiberiaSoldier:** et tu, Nat?

 **BadAssSpiders:** don't pretend that you don't know that people ship you two, you guys are like the most popular one, next to stony, of course

 **IronBoi:** i'm a single pringle, thank you very much

 **Mindroid:** For now, at least.

 **IronBoi:** As cool as you are, we're just friends

 **Mindroid:** That's not what I meant, sir. I meant that as in its high school and you are no psychic, you could very well be wrong.

 **IronBoi:** Me?! Wrong?! The very idea is insane!

 **ThunderMan:** Agree to disagree Stark.

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Damn

 **IronBoi:** Be quiet less cool birdyboy

 **BirbyBow:** YES! STARK AGREES WITH ME, SUCK IT "FALCON"!!!! HA!!!!!!!!!

 **IronBoi:** Never mind, you can have them both Steve.

 **BirbyBow:** Rude

 **IronBoi:** I'm keeping Vis though, just letting you know

 **Mindroid:** ...thank you, sir?

 **BirbyBow:** I will lure him to our side using my sultry flirting skills, ;) 

**BadAssSpiders:** What skills? You sound like a pre-adolescent girl whos trying to get a man that's like 5 years older than her, it's creepy AF

 **IronBoi:** If we're comparing Vis here to the teen boy who's older, then wouldn't HE be the creepy one for agreeing to it? There are some flaws in your reasoning there.

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'M ON YOUR SIDE, TONY!

 **Mindroid:** I can speak for myself

 **BirbyBow:** So... did you fall for my... charm? ;)

 **Mindroid:** No... No I did not. I'm with you, sir.

 **IronBoi:** YES

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** NO 

**RedMagic:**...are you sure, Vis?

 **Mindroid:** oh, um...

 **IronBoi:** TOO LATE, NO TAKE BACKS

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Dammit, I thought we had him. 

**ThunderMan:** You are all insane, I am going to bed, lest my father ground me and not let me take over the company and then he would have to appoint either my brother or my sister as its future CEO

 **IronBoi:** Sure you need all that exposition, buddy?

 **ThunderMan** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **MightyShield:** In all honesty, the rest of us should be getting back to bed, night Tony! 

**IronBoi:** Fine, bye! 

**MightyShield, SiberiaSoldier, BirbyBow, Mindroid, RedMagic, BadAssSpiders and FlyBoyDonuts** have left **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Hello darkness my old friend, you've come to talk with me again...

 **IronBoi:** Shit, I forgot the rest of the words. Whatever.

 **IronBoi:** I should probably get off the chat

 **WarMachine** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Or not. Hey Rhodes!

 **WarMachine:** What the hell is this Tony

 **IronBoi:** The Avengers GC Beotch!

 **WarMachine:** ...I am too tired for this. Good night.

 **WarMachine** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**IronBoi:** G'night Rhodes

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**


	2. Tony's Adopted a Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I wanted to get this out soon, so here you are! More random shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I hope you like this because I like writing this. I like making dark jokes bordering on offensive sometimes so just tell me if I happen to cross a line because I'm trying to make this mirror a real high schoolers life and that life is messed up as all hell so... yeah. Anyways here's an updated list of names, hope you like.
> 
> IronBoi- Tony  
> MightyShield- Steve  
> BirbyBow- Clint  
> BadAssSpiders- Natasha  
> RedMagic- Wanda  
> FlyBoyDonuts- Sam  
> SmokeWeed- Bruce  
> ThunderMan- Thor  
> Mindroid- Vision  
> SiberiaSoldier- Bucky  
> SpideyDude- Peter P.

**IronBoi** added **SpideyDude** to **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Everyone, welcome the new chat member...*drumroll* SpideyDude!

 **BirbyBow:**... SpideyDude?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Hate to agree with lesser-birdboy here, but yeah, SpideyDude? Really?

 **MightyShield:** Don't be so rude, we're here to welcome everyone.

 **SiberiaSoldier:** But what if they're a dick?

 **Mindroid:** Language.

 **RedMagic:** Very funny Vis. :)

 **BadAssSpiders:** You two take your gross flirting elsewhere, you heathens.

 **ThunderMan:** You sinners

 **SpideyDude:** Hi.

 **BirbyBow:** Oh shit, I forgot about him.

 **BirbyBow:** Wait, who is he?

 **IronBoi:** He's in one of my engineering blocks, his name's Peter Parker

 **FlyBoyDonuts:**...the midde schooler who got bumped up to high school?

 **IronBoi:** So?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You're a senior, so's Steve, Bucky, Nat and Clint, the rest of us are Juniors.

 **IronBoi:** What's your point less-cool birdboy?

 **RedMagic:** Real nice, Stark

 **BadAssSpiders:** Let me spell it out Tony, it looks like you're taking advantage of him.

 **IronBoi:** I'm sorry, what?!

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, that is... not what's happening.

 **BadAssSpiders:** That's what it looks like, it looks like a pervy senior taking advantage of a naive kid, it looks... less than flattering

 **WarMachine:** OR instead of going into the gutter, maybe its more like an adoption thing, where, you know, Tony has a familial relationship with the kid.

 **ThunderMan:** What are we talking about, I'm afraid that I'm confused.

 **IronBoi:** You're not the only one, bud

 **SpideyDude:** Mr. Stark, maybe I should just go...

 **IronBoi:** First of all, kid, don't call me Mr. Stark, that's my dad and he's an a-hole also because it makes me feel old. Second, no you don't, those other guys are just being dumb. Very dumb.

 **WarMachine:** The biggest numbskulls in all the land

 **Mindroid:** They're using the last of their brain cells to come up with a retort as we speak

 **BadAssSpiders:** Really?

 **IronBoi:** You brought this upon yourself

 **BirbyBow:** We're just saying how people will view it!

 **SpideyDude:** I don't think that Mr. Stark really cares, and I don't know them, so...

 **RedMagic:** He's precious!

**MightyShield:**...that's what you got from all of this?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** She's not wrong

 **MightyShield:** You're not helping, Buck

 **IronBoi:** Thank you Barnes!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You're helping him Bucky, this is not what we want

 **IronBoi:** Oh, so THAT'S how it is, huh?

 **MightyShield:** Tony, that's not what he meant

 **IronBoi:** Oh, so what did he mean?

 **BirbyBow:** Tony, calm down, Sam was just being an idiot

 **IronBoi:** Calm down? CALM DOWN?!

 **IronBoi:** You've all been accusing me of doing some sick shit, and now I'm supposed to calm down, what the fuck is wrong with all of you?!

 **SpideyDude:** Mr. Stark, really, its fine! It doesn't matter!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Tony, please, we didn't accuse you of doing that, we know you wouldn't

 **BadAssSpiders:** Just... some people don't know you and that's what they might think

 **IronBoi:** Am I supposed to believe you now?

 **SmokeWeed:** Come on guys, we're supposed to be friends!

 **WarMachine:** Tony, we've been friends with them for years now, and yeah, they were being fucking idiots, but they don't think you'd really do something like that.

 **Mindroid:** Sir, they're not accusing you. They trust you.

 **IronBoi:** Doesn't seem like it

 **MightyShield:** Tony, we trust you, you're our friend.

 **IronBoi:**...you sure

 **MightyShield:** Goddamit, Tony, I'm sure!

 **BirbyBow:** *GASP*

 **SpideyDude:** **GAASSP**

 **MightyShield:** What are you guys doing?

 **BirbyBow:** You, the resident golden boy, the jock, the scholar, the nice person, the good guy, the resident Christian boy, just cursed and used 'god' in it. 

**SpideyDude:** Dude, you're famous for all of those things.

 **MightyShield:** Okay, I'm NOT the only Christian in this chat!

 **BirbyBow:** While true, the fact that you go to church willingly just adds to the fact that you're a less-douchey Chad Thundercock! Also, most of us ARE atheists, and you know how we heathens like to poke fun at religion. But seriously, less-douchey Chad Thundercock!

 **IronBoi:** You have to admit it, it does look like that

 **MightyShield:**...this is your revenge, isn't it?

 **IronBoi:** After I get mad, I get even.

 **WarMachine:** What else did you expect Steve?

 **MightyShield:** You're right, I should've known.

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You've known Tony longer than most of us, how could you NOT have known?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah... I mean, really, Steve?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Leave Steeb alone!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:**...

 **BirbyBow:**...

 **SpideyDue**...

 **BirbyBow:** Steeb? Steeb?! WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY?!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** It's really not that funny...

 **BirbyBow:** Are you kidding me?! This is the best shit that I've ever heard in my life!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!11!!

 **MightyShield:** Common Clint, it's not funny.

 **IronBoi:** Shush, less-douchey Chad Thundercock

 **MightyShield:** I'm not sure if this new thing is going to end up being better or worse than 'language'

 **SpideyDude:** Well, Mr. Rogers, considering this one has the word, um... 'cock' in it, it's probably going to end up being worse...

 **Mindroid:** Well, he's not wrong

 **RedMagic:** He seems to have figured us out already! Hide! Nothing is safe anymore!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Wanda, stop, you aren't funny.

 **IronBoi:** Oof, and what happenned NOT being dicks?

 **Mindroid:** I belive that you should aplogize, Mr. Wilson

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, you pissed Vis off, and that is something that pretty much never happens, who knows what he's capable of, you really should apologize Sam

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Fine. Sorry Wanda

 **BirbyBow:** Tony, is everyone in Jarvis' family that scary or are him and his son an exception?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, pretty much, I mean... Ana's pretty scary and one of their other kids, Ultron, is like... REALLY freaky. He's in prison for assault.

 **BirbyBow:** FUCK

 **IronBoi** Why are you upset?

 **BirbyBow:** I can't crack jokes at Vis' expense unless I want to die, which I don't!

 **IronBoi:** Nah, Vis is pretty chill, right?

 **Mindroid:** Like sir said, I usually don't care about remarks made at my expense

 **RedMagic:** I'm not sure whether its brave or really sad

 **ThunderMan:** It honestly seems like a mixture of both

 **WarMachine:** I don't know, it seems more sad than brave. 

**ThunderMan:** Oh, I almost forgot. I was wondering if anybody wanted to hang out at my house this weekend, my parents are taking a trip back to Norway for some company business.

 **MightyShield:** Oh, really? That sounds pretty cool, count me in.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Seems like fun, I'll be there

 **RedMagic:** Me too

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Me three

 **BirbyBow:** Me three

 **BirbyBow:** Goddammit

 **WarMachine:** Sounds good

 **SmokeWeed:** I'll find time to be there

 **Mindroid:** I'll probably be there

 **SpideyDude:** Wait, am I even allowed to be there? Or is just a 'you guys' thing?

 **ThunderMan:** You may come too Spider Dude

 **SpideyDude:** Peter is fine!

 **IronBoi:** Just wait, are your siblings gonna be there? Cuz that's kind of a deal breaker

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Oh shit, Tony, you're right! I can't be there if Hela is there, because she scares the shit outta me!

 **SpideyDude:** Wait, who are his siblings and what did they do?

 **IronBoi:** Yo, Thor, can I talk about your fucked up family?

 **ThunderMan:** Oh, sure

 **IronBoi:** I'll start with the most fucked up child, Hela. So Hela was actually at boarding school and at foreign schools for most of Thor's childhood so he didn't know that she even existed, and he is the current heir to his dad's big company, Asgard Industries, the weapons company

 **IronBoi:** So she came back all weird and messed up from years of being without her family and almost killed Thor to become the one who would inherit the company, but his dad stopped her. See, he knows she's fucked up so he keeps sending her different places to get more degrees and shit so she can't get the company

 **IronBoi:** But she said that she wanted to stay home for a bit and 'get to know her family' which is basically code for 'I'm going to kill all of you while you sleep and I won't give two fucks', and she just scares the shit out of everybody now. Onto the next kid

 **IronBoi:** So let's move on to Loki, now he is basically a little shit in human form, and he found out he was adopted a year or two ago in a fucked up way with Thor and some of his old friends, plus Loki, going to confront a rival company, Jotunn Corp., CEO's son, who was named Helblindi who happened to be almost an exact clone of Loki except for not having long and greasy locks and he was way taller, anyways it was discovered that Loki's bio dad and CEO of Jotunn Corp., Laufey didn't want him.

 **IronBoi:** Loki's always been kind of a prankster and a trickster but he's generally an ok person, but when he found out that he was adopted and that everyone lied to him, it was... rough to say the least. And now whenever he sees Thor or any of us, he does some shit and that shit depends on what he's feeling that day, normal betrayed or raging anger.

 **IronBoi:** Can you see why it's kind of difficult to be around his siblings? It ends up being a giant mess of family drama

 **SpideyDude:** Oh, wow. Oh, um, that's bad. Sorry for asking Mr. Stark, Mr. Odinson. 

**ThunderMan:** It is fine spider child, I do not mind anymore

 **WarMachine:** Yeah, so are your messed up, possibly-murderous siblings going to be there? Because we need to know

 **ThunderMan:** I belive Hela is going out with her new boyfriend Skurge for the weekend

 **SmokeWeed:** Oh, I know him, he's in my gym class. He's kind of a douche.

 **ThunderMan:** And lately my brother has taken to sulking in his room so we should be fine

 **SpideyDude:** So is it going to be like a sleepover because that sounds really fun!

 **IronBoi:** The kids right, is it going to be a sleepover?

 **ThunderMan:** I have the mansion to be myself so it doesn't really matter, do what you all wish but sure, why not?

 **BadAssSpiders:** So the rest of us will lie to our parental units about who we are sleeping over with, right?

 **RedMagic:** Yes my parents would flip if I spent the night within a 50-yard radius with anyone is male besides my brother or dad

 **SmokeWeed:** Neat, my parents don't care so I'll be fine

 **IronBoi:** Cool, everyone prepared?

 **SpideyDude:** Actually, Mr. Stark, I don't have a ride but my aunt says I can go over to a friends house, could you pick me up?

 **IronBoi:** Oh, sure, kid. Just let me know where and when, ok bud?

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Is no one going to address that Tony's adopted a kid?

 **BirbyBow:** Shit, u right, Tony's adopted a kid!

 **IronBoi:** Shut up you lame birdboys, and I know you're going to say something too, Steve, so be quiet you

 **MightyShield:** Whatever, goodnight Tony, see you on the weekend, Thor!

 **ThunderMan:** And you too, Steve, see you all on the weekend!

 **IronBoi, ThunderMan, MightyShield, BirbyBow, FlyBoyDonuts, SmokeWeed, WarMachine, SiberiaSoldier, BadAssSpiders, RedMagic, Mindroid and SpideyDude** have left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my angsty ass couldn't do happy shit, and ended up making it... fucking angsty. Yeah, that's my own fault. Ehehehe... eh... Sorry if I seemed too harsh on religion, I've just had some traumatic experiences with it and it's probably why I'm an atheist.
> 
> And the whole taking advantage of a younger kid thing was is something my family talks about with other people, I find the discussion weird but whatever, good ideas for fanfics so I can't complain.
> 
> I mean, who wouldn't? But whatever. I really should take out my anger with fanfics, and that's not going to change. Anyways if you can't tell, I like Loki. I'm not a Loki stan I just find his character interesting and his overall actions to be kind of childish. It's fun to write about.
> 
> Anyways, comment and kudos because those keep me motivated! Ta-ta now.


	3. Goddammit Trash Panda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep, adding the GotG this time, there's mentions of the 'Nova Corp.,' in this and probably some Ravagers at some point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I have more free time lately so I'm going to write some more. Yay. Oh, here's this chapter's key (for now)
> 
> Starlord- Peter Q.  
> Rocket- Rocket  
> HappyLittleTree- Groot  
> WorldsDeadliestAcademic- Gamora  
> IAmInvisible- Drax  
> Surrender- Kraglin

**Starlord** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Starlord:** Hey everyone, anyone remember the questions for the science homework?

 **Rocket:** You can't even remember that? God, you're a useless human being, Quill, you know that right?

 **Starlord:** Well I'm sorry that I can't remember shit, dickwad, now, what are the questions?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Questions #1-27 odd, pg 367-369 in the textbook

 **Starlord:** Thanks, babe

 **Rocket:** Without her you'd die

 **Starlord:** Yes, yes I would

 **HappyLittleTree:** Haha Peter would die without Gamora!

 **Starlord:** Did you HAVE to bring the 6 yr old into this?

 **Rocket:** Yes, yes, I did.

 **Starlord:** That's it, I didn't want to have to take such drastic measures, but I'm going to

 **Rocket:** Quill, what the hell are you talking about

 **Rocket:** Quill?

 **Starlord** has changed the username **Rocket** to **TrashPanda**

 **IAmInvisible:** Quill, this is a bad idea, even I can see that

 **Surrender:** Are you sure you wanna do this when Yondu's home? You know how he gets when you and Rocket fight.

 **Starlord:** Whatever, he can go fuck himself if he cares so much

 **TrashPanda:** Jeez, daddy issues much?

 **IAmInvisible:** Rocket! You have not killed Peter, what a wondrous miracle this is!

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, the only reason I DIDN'T kill Quill was that Yondu was home and we do NOT want to piss him off. Ever

 **TrashPanda:** But Quill

 **Starlord:**...yes?

 **TrashPanda:** I know that you THINK I can't do anything to change the chat since you created it and you THINK you are the only one who can do shit on here, but lemme tell you, don't fuck with computer nerds

 **TrashPanda** changed the username **Starlord** to **StarMunch**

 **StarMunch:** Goddammit Trash Panda

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Why didn't you just change your own name back?

 **TrashPanda:** Well, I couldn't quite change THAT but I could change certain editing restrictions

 **TrashPanda:** Oh barf, I just saw Irani Rael's little squad

 **StarMunch:** Who? And what squad?

 **TrashPanda:** You know, that girl with the weird white hair who's dad runs the company Nova Corp.? Yeah, and her squad of uptight academics and scholars that are practically guaranteed jobs there?

 **StarMunch:** Wait, isn't that one guy who called us 'a-holes' a part of that group?

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, them

 **HappyLittleTree:** What did they do?

 **TrashPanda:** Nothing, just walking in a 'squad formation' that could practically be part of the military, they're almost all wearing matching outfits too!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** They're not too bad, but I did hear that they're a military company so... military formation makes sense

 **IAmInvisible:** If they're a military company, do they not conflict with Stark Industries?

 **StarMunch:** No, they do. The silent staredowns get kind of annoying between their squads

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Well, I mean, this is a private school so... there's bound to rivalries between the CEO's kids

 **HappyLittleTree:** Doesnt ur dad run a company Gamora?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** He's... not my dad, but yeah, he runs Sanctuaries Industries so...

 **StarMunch:** So does that make you part of the CEO'S kid squad?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I'm NOT HIS KID

 **StarMunch:** Cool, cool, cool. I get it, I get it

 **IAmInvisible:** So then, who is part of the 'squad' as you put it.

 **StarMunch:** There's Tony Stark, Irani Rael and... I'm pulling a blank here...

 **Surrender:** Thor Odinson and his brother Loki Odinson

 **TrashPanda:** The blond idiot and the emo shit? Those two are brothers?

 **IAmInvisible:** The 'blond idiot' is in many of my classes, he is actually smart, he is just a transfer student who does not know how to speak the language

 **TrashPanda:** Well, fuck, now I feel like a dick. Thank you for making me feel like a dick

 **StarMunch:** When do you NOT feel like a dick

 **TrashPanda:** When I'm using your toothbrush to scrub the toilet bowl

 **StarMunch:** You fucker! That's it, I don't care if Yondu knows, I'm gonna beat your ass!

 **StarMunch:** I'm gonna take your science projects and shove them so far up your ass that you will be coughing up screws for years!

 **HappyLittleTree:** No, dont! Yondu will get mad and yell, I dont want him 2 yell!

 **StarMunch:** Errgh... I can't say no to Groot

 **Surrender:** Don't worry, no one can

 **Surrender:** Also, that part with you threatening Rocket just sounded like really bad fanfiction

 **StarMunch:** Shut up!

 **StarMunch:** Wait, you read fanfic?

 **TrashPanda:** You read FAnFIC?!

 **Surrender:** Who else uses the computer at 4 am to read/write Voltron/Daganronpa/Durarara/Z Nation/Other miscellaneous fanfic?

 **TrashPanda:** In all honesty, I thought it was Groot

 **HappyLittleTree:** Whats fanfic?

 **StarMunch:** Hell, pure hell

 **Surrender:** Back the HFIL up, it's not that bad!

 **StarMunch:** Oh yeah? The milk fic. The skin fic!

 **TrashPanda:** The HAT fic

 **Surrender:** Not all fanfiction, not all fanfiction

 **Surrender:** But wait, how do you know what those are?

 **StarMunch:** Rocket decided to take a deeper look at the internet at some point, and I was there and we both saw things

 **TrashPanda:** Terrible, terrible things

 **Surrender:** Could've been worse, could've been 2 girls-

 **TrashPanda:** KRAGLIN, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THERE IS A GODDAMN CHILD HERE AND YOU ARE CORRUPTING HIM, YOU DICKWAD

 **HappyLittleTree:** Yeah Dickwad!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Too late, you've already done it Rocket

 **TrashPanda:** Screw you

 **StarMunch:** Eat a dick

 **TrashPanda:** Eat my d-

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Can you not?

 **StarMunch:** Sorry, got a little carried away there

 **StarMunch:** Love you, babe

 **TrashPanda:** Speaking of gross love, did you hear?

 **StarMunch:** Hear what?

 **TrashPanda:** How the hell did you NOT hear this?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Rocket, just tell us

 **TrashPanda:** Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes got caught making out in a janitors closet

 **StarMunch:** Isn't that weird? The guys in the closet, got caught IN the closet

 **IAmInvisible:** You mean they were not dating before? I thought they were

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Honestly, it's not that surprising

 **StarMunch:** I'm with Gamora on this, it really isn't, you could see it coming from a mile away

 **TrashPanda:** How the hell did everyone figure this out but me?!

 **StarMunch:** It was pretty obvious, hell, even Drax figured it out

 **IAmInvisible:** Yes, and I usually cannot figure out such tricky things as relationships

 **Surrender:** Yes! It happened in public, now those bastards owe me money, woo!

 **TrashPanda:** Wait, who owes you money on what?

 **Surrender:** You know how for every year of high school so far someone has posted a list of the most shipped people on the main board in school every day? Well, that may or may not be me with the help of a few people from Irani's squad

 **StarMunch:** What the hell? That's you?! You mean for months, YOU posted Peter/Tony there, when I've never even met the guy, and got people to REALLY start shipping it and the mastermind was my own goddamn foster brother? WTF man!

 **Surrender:** This is my hobby, leave me alone

 **TrashPanda:** Who the hell in Ms. Uppity's group helped you?

 **Surrender:** I dunno man, I was sworn to secrecy...

 **TrashPanda:** Just fucking tell me!!

 **Surrender:** Fine... Garthan Saal and Rhomann Dey

 **StarMunch:** So the guy that called us a-holes and the guy that called me Star-prince, really man?

 **TrashPanda:** I'm sorry, I don't believe what I'm hearing. You're telling me that the most well-known members of Irani's group secretly help you with posting shipping stats on the school board every morning?!

 **Surrender:** Anyways, I made a bet with them about Stucky saying that they'd be well known before they graduate while they said that they would come out AFTER graduation.

 **TrashPanda:** And you won. Congrats.

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** So, Kraglin, do you just have a Secret Shipping Society or something?

 **Surrender:** I wasn't thinking of calling my little group something so important! Thanks, Gamora!

 **TrashPanda:** Great, Gamora, now you've encouraged him to start a secret society, hope you're proud of yourself

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Actually, I am

 **StarMunch:** Whatever guys, lunch is over, time to go back to class. yay

 **HappyLittleTree:** See you all l8r!

 **StarMunch, WorldsDeadliestAcademic, IAmInvisible, Surrender, TrashPanda and HappyLittleTree** have left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, I'm running on no sleep AND I managed to get a decent chapter out, feel proud of me! Halfway through I kind went 'fuck it' and decided to make Kraglin a secret fanfic reader/writer and shipper because I need someone to push my nerdy references out of.
> 
> Did you get HFIL? DBZ? DBZA? TFS? Naw, whatever. Also, all of those fandoms he mentioned are ones that I'm currently in, so fun fact there.
> 
> Comment and kudos because those motivate me! Luv y'all


	4. What the hell Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's sleepover. So, yeah. Mentions of GotG group, probably others. I don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I lost my computer for a couple days so I was unable to update more. Sorry about that. So this chapter just entails Thor's sleepover party with added Loki. So, Loki being a shit. Yay.
> 
> IronBoi- Tony  
> MightyShield- Steve  
> BirbyBow- Clint  
> BadAssSpiders- Natasha  
> RedMagic- Wanda  
> FlyBoyDonuts- Sam  
> SmokeWeed- Bruce  
> ThunderMan- Thor  
> Mindroid- Vision  
> SiberiaSoldier- Bucky  
> SpideyDude- Peter P.  
> WarMachine- Rhodey  
> LordChaos- Loki

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble!**

 **IronBoi:** Just to let you know, me and Spidey-kid here are almost there

 **ThunderMan:** Very good friend Stark! I shall tell the others

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You realize that we're all in the same GC, right?

 **ThunderMan:** Yes?

 **BirbyBow:** Oh my god, your so dense!

 **BadAssSpiders:** *You're

 **BirbyBow:** Whatever, grammar police

 **IronBoi:** What these idiots meant to say was that we all already know, so there's no need, point break

 **BirbyBow:** Aren't you NOT supposed to call women idiots?

 **IronBoi:** Equality means insulting everyone equally

 **BirbyBow:** True

 **SpideyDude** has entered **Avengers Assemble!**

 **SpideyDude:** Sorry for barging in like this, my aunt just wants to let you all know that there's to be NO drinking or other 'debauchery'

 **BirbyBow:** Who uses 'debauchery' anymore

 **IronBoi:** Peter's hot aunt

 **SpideyDude:** Can you not?!

 **IronBoi:** Aunt May, more like Aunt BAE

 **SpideyDude:**...I wanna cry

 **SmokeWeed:** Big mood

 **BirbyBow:** YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME!!!!

 **IronBoi:** I sense a disturbance in the force, what's up?

 **BirbyBow:** Anytime anyone has said something even REMOTELY depressing, he says 'big mood' and nothing else

 **BirbyBow:** At this point, I'm not against murder

 **SmokeWeed:** Big mood

 **BirbyBow:** OH MY FUCKING GOD BRUCE I WILL GUT YOU FROM MOUTH TO ANUS!

 **WarMachine:** So you're getting... Sirius?

 **BirbyBow:** How dare you interrupt my rage with a Harry Potter pun

 **WarMachine:** In all honesty, I've never read the books or seen the movies, I just know you like HP puns, and I know that one

 **IronBoi:** Oo, should NOT have admitted that, now nerd clint will kick your ass

 **BirbyBow:** You dare consider yourself a friend of mine! HOW DARE YOU?!

 **WarMachine:** Ohshit

 **RedMagic:** I believe you should run

 **Mindroid:** As sir says, 'You done fucked up'

 **IronBoi:** WTF!

 **SmokeWeed:** Big mood

 **Mindroid:** What is it, sir?

 **IronBoi:** Someone threw eggs at Peter and I, and Peter yelled "Oh, my feelings!"

 **SmokeWeed:** Big Mood

 **IronBoi:** Which is unrelated but funny, anyways, WHO THE FUCK THREW EGGS AT PETER AND I?!

 **MightyShield:** It wasn't any of us if that's what you're asking

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yeah, we're all hanging out and watching Disney movies, we're too invested in Moana to egg you right now

 **IronBoi:** I would be concerned about the 'right now' part, but the egg is hardening into our hair

 **WarMachine:** Do you think it's possible that maybe... the cicada has emerged?

 **IronBoi:** Fuck, you're right!

 **RedMagic:** Could it really be?

 **Mindroid:** Are you sure, sir? It seems unlikely

 **SiberiaSoldier:** What's the 'cicada' that you're all referring to, cuz I ain't met her, I don't know her

 **IronBoi:** You attempted a meme, you get half credit

 **SmokeWeed:** Big Mood

 **IronBoi:** And cicada is the codename we gave to Thor's brother

 **ThunderMan:** Yes, it is! And it is quite funny how well it suits him

 **MightyShield:** Comically accurate names aside, you think he's the one who egged Tony and Peter?

 **ThunderMan:** I do remember that I mentioned you guys coming over to him, he did seem to perk up a bit

 **IronBoi:** And you WEREN'T suspicous?

 **ThunderMan:** In all fairness it was the happiest I have seen my brother in months

 **IronBoi:** Now I feel like a dick, thank you

 **SmokeWeed:** Big mood

 **BirbyBow:** OMFG SHUT THE HELL UP BRUCE 

**ThunderMan:** You are welcome friend

 **IronBoi:** Speaking of dicks...

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Oh... my god

 **IronBoi:** It looks like the mysterious shipping vandals were right, Steve/Bucky all the way!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Need I even point out that they put Peter Q./Tony there for a while and THAT didn't happen so...

 **IronBoi:** Well, fuck you, this one happened and it's great

 **SpideyDude:** Great?

 **IronBoi:** I can tease them forever about this, that's the great part

 **MightyShield:** I would prefer it if you didn't

 **IronBoi:** Tough luck

 **IronBoi:** Oh fuck

 **SmokeWeed:** Big mood

 **BirbyBow:** I FUCKING SWEAR BRUCE 

**SiberiaSoldier:** What happened this time Stark?

 **IronBoi:** So Peter and I were just trying to find where you guys were and we were wandering around and then we get hit with, can you guess it, fucking water balloons

 **IronBoi:** FUCKING WATER BALLOONS, I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW LIKE DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW???!!!!!!

 **IronBoi:** And it was YOUR fucking brother Thor, you THOT

 **BirbyBow:** Did he just call Thor...

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** A THOT? Yeah, he means business of the highest order, he is supremely pissed

 **ThunderMan:** Come on Stark, it was merely water and eggs, he means nothing by it

 **IronBoi:** I THINK HE MEANS FUCKING SOMETHING

 **IronBoi:** Just... What the hell Loki? WHAT THE HELL, WHAT THE FUCK!

 **IronBoi:** Hey, THOT, you're brother just dUMPED FUCKING COLORED POWDER ON ME AND NOW IM ALL FUCKING STICKY AND RAINBOW LIKE 

**ThunderMan:** I am sorry, he is just...

 **ThunderMan:** He's just... sad?

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, right now might NOT be the best time to talk to Tony... he's really, really, really livid

 **RedMagic:** Ignoring the many 'really's' there, I would assume that Stark is probably throwing a fit

 **Mindroid:** In all honesty, he probably is

 **SpideyDude:** Does anybody else hear any cackling?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Yeah, yeah, the kids right, there's definitely some creepy ass laughter happening

 **BirbyBow:** I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE

 **ThunderMan:** It's all right, tis merely my brother

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Your brother needs some damn therapy

 **ThunderMan:** I will agree with you there

 **ThunderMan:** I must leave the chat now, my phone is about to die, goodbye friends!

 **ThunderMan** has left **Avengers Assemble!**

 **ThunderMan** has started a private chat with **LordChaos**

 **ThunderMan:** Brother, could you dial the trickery down a little

 **LordChaos:** I am not your brother, Thor, and no, no I will not

 **LordChaos:** Frankly I'm enjoying myself too much

 **ThunderMan:** Just... try not to give Stark an aneurysm

 **LordChaos:** Okay then, just a heart attack?

 **ThunderMan:** Just try not to kill anyone

 **LordChaos:** I make no promises

 **ThunderMan:** Wouldn't expect anything else, brother

 **ThunderMan** has left the private chat with **LordChaos**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go to bed now, it's like 3 am and I need sleep at some point. BEcause of FUCKING SEMESTER TESTS!! AGG. I just, I hate math, but I need to be good at it. It's a vicious cycle.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed, kudos and comments because I love off of those, luv y'all


	5. Honestly Same tho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just eh... I don't know, some more Kraglin! This will be Kraglin and his little shipping group that I just kinda make up. SO... enjoy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing with this fic, honestly, PLEASE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS PEOPLE!!! Sorry, I'm a bit stressed about the end of the school year, it's been rough. I just completely fucked up semester tests, so I'm trying to suppress my emotions, it's hard but eh, I'll get through it.
> 
> Surrender- Kraglin  
> SuperNova- Garthan Saal (a.k.a. Denarian Saal)  
> FutureCorpsman- Rhomann Dey (a.k.a. Corpsman Dey or Denarian Dey)  
> Deadpool- Deadpool

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Ha! You guys owe me

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, yeah, we know

 **SuperNova:** I still can't believe it... I was so sure...

 **Surrender:** Ah well, sucks to be you

 **SuperNova:** I should NOT have bet access to my email

 **Surrender:** Yeah that was quite stupid of you, but first, I want my 200 bucks, from each of you

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fine, I'll have it school tomorrow morning

 **SuperNova:** What he said

 **Surrender:** Okay, and then Saal, text me the password to your email and then the bet is done

 **SuperNova:** Just please, don't do anything illegal with it, I do want to get into a decent college

 **Surrender:** Nothing too bad, I swear

 **SuperNova:** To put it simply, I don't trust you

 **Surrender:** Yeah, you really shouldn't

 **FutureCorpsman:** Hey Kraglin?

 **Surrender:** Yeah

 **FutureCorpsman:** Your foster brother just gave me the biggest death glare I've ever seen

 **FutureCorpsman:** And I don't think Garthan and I have done anything to them unless they're still mad about the a-holes thing

 **SuperNova:** It was input! You can't expect that I, a student helper, wouldn't notice them in detention being hooligans?!

 **SuperNova:** They stole a school golf cart and went joyriding, what else would happen!

 **SuperNova:** I said it, and I don't regret it

 **Surrender:** Honestly same tho

 **Surrender:** No, but that's not the reason

 **Surrender:** I may have told them that we're the ones who pin the shipping stats to the school board each morning

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, that makes more sense

 **SuperNova:** Why would you tell them that?!

 **SuperNova:** That board and the shipping stats are one of the few ways that I can relax! And now your foster brother, who is kind of a dick, knows?!

 **Surrender:**...yes?

 **SuperNova:** Fuck you

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan!

 **SuperNova:** What?!

 **FutureCorpsman:** What do you always say about swearing

 **SuperNova:** If you have time to be vulgar, you have time to study

 **FutureCorpsman:** Follow your own damn suggestions

 **SuperNova:** But! I mean, what happened is TOTALLY different!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan.

 **SuperNova:** Fine. Sorry Kraglin

 **Surrender:** Apology appreciated, but not needed

 **Surrender:** Anyways, what are you so worried about?

 **SuperNova:** First of all, Peter telling someone and second, him getting revenge for the Peter Q./Tony S. that was posted there for a while

 **FutureCorpsman:** I'm sure he wouldn't do that, right?

 **Surrender:** Maybe not him, probably Rocket though

 **SuperNova:** So you're saying that Rocket, the pyromaniac, weaponed obsessed, revenge-driven little dick, knows that I was a part of humiliating his adopted brother?

 **Surrender:** I wouldn't say humiliated...

 **SuperNova:** Whatever, it probably pissed him off

 **Surrender:** You are correct about that one

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, Garthan you're right to be worried about that one

 **SuperNova:**... I hate you

 **Surrender:** So, who's excited for season 6 of Voltron?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I just want to see the whole Kuron thing wrapped up

 **FutureCorpsman:** And if Lotor betrays them, cause the end of season 5 was just wow, what are we supposed to think?!

 **SuperNova:** I haven't seen season 5 yet

 **Surrender:** Traitor

 **SuperNova:** I want a good job, I want the best job, and to get that job, I need to do this thing called studying, which takes up a LOT of time. SO I DON'T EXACTLY HAVE TIME TO WATCH ALL THESE SHOWS?!

 **Surrender:** Jeez dude, calm down

 **FutureCorpsman:** He just takes his studying and his future really seriously

 **SuperNova:** And is that so bad?

 **Surrender:** When you freak out like that... yes

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, and remember that time you that you got a C on that pre-calc quiz? You raged and ended up using bottle rockets to destroy all your pre-calc workbooks, it was cool but very terrifying

 **SuperNova:** If pre-calc is gonna do me wrong, I'm gonna blow it up

 **Surrender:** And that's now how you're supposed to deal with your problems

 **FutureCorpsman:** He can study, he just can't deal with any emotional problem

 **SuperNova:** Excuse yourself, but I am a functioning human being. I can deal with emotional problems

 **FutureCorpsman:** Blowing up books with bottle rockets?

 **SuperNova:** There were too many emotional problems with that one, nobody can deal with too many

 **FutureCorpsman:** Sure there was too many, sure

 **SuperNova:** Just... never mind. Have you seen My Hero Academia yet?

 **Surrender:** ToroDeku for the win!

 **SuperNova:** Now way, BakuDeku and you know it!

 **FutureCorpsman:** How about BakuShima? There's something we can all agree on

 **Surrender:** You're right

 **SuperNova::** I admit no truce, BakuDeku is still best ship but... I will agree with BakuShima for now

 **FutureCorpsman:** There, no more chaos

 **Surrender:** It still wasn't as bad as that time when we all watched Durarara and argued about Shizaya

 **FutureCorspman:** I still say it's an unhealthy ship

 **SuperNova:** And if you looked into Izaya's emotions you'd see that he views Shizuo as a monster because he can't love a single human, as that violates his codes for loving everybody equally, so, if Shizuo is a monster it's okay for Izaya to love him.

 **FutureCorpsman:** No way first of all if that even made any sense, he's still a psycho and Shizuo would still murder him in a rage

 **SuperNova:** Shizuo is angry because he's repressing his homosexuality

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shizuo is a 2d character, he doesn't have the emotional depth for that

 **SuperNova:** Please, if that was true then what was Durarara x2?

 **FutureCorpsman:** A shitshow

 **Surrender:** Before we descend into total madness there's someone I want to introduce you to

 **Surrender** added **Deadpool** to **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Hey everybody, I'm Wade, you can call me Deadpool

 **Deadpool** I'm a big fan of your work

 **FutureCorpsman:** Of what work exactly?

 **Deadpool:** The shipping stats of course

 **SuperNova:**...how'd you know that was us?

 **Deadpool:** I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, I don't wanna have to break the fourth wall for that

 **FutureCorpsman:**...fourth wall...what?

 **Surrender:** He's a bit eccentric but he's a lot of fun

 **FutureCorpsman:** So why do you want to join us?

 **SuperNova:** Do you like shipping then?

 **Deadpool:** Actually, I couldn't care less about shipping

 **FutureCorpsman:** Then why are y-

 **Deadpool:** that's easy, you see, you guys find a lot of information about people

 **Deadpool:** And then you use that information to mess with their lives, and what fun is that!

 **Deadpool:** To put it simply, information is power and I want to use it

 **SuperNova:** No

 **Deadpool:** Huh? Why not author?

 **SuperNova:** Barring the fact that you said 'author' -- if you don't care about what we do there's no point in you joining

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yes, we take shipping very seriously so if you're not here for it, I'm afraid we can't let you join

 **Deadpool:** Come on, I'll supply you with chimichangas!

 **SuperNova:** No

 **Surrender:** Come on guys, think about it! He just said information is power, our school would have it's own Izaya Orihara

 **FutureCorpsman:** That's not really a good thing

 **Surrender:** Come on, think about it

 **SuperNova:** If he's going to be Izaya, then we need a Shizuo

 **FutureCorpsman:** You're not seriously thinking of agreeing, are you?

 **Surrender:** Just think about it, Shizaya IRL

 **SuperNova:** Fine. I agree

 **FutureCorpsman:** And now I'm outvoted, great

 **Deadpool:** Cool, I'm relevant to the story again!

 **Surrender:** Alright, operation find Wade a Shizuo is now in effect!

 **Surrender:** Also, email me the info on students and I'll start rewriting the ships, ok?

 **SuperNova:** Ok boss

 **FutureCorpsman:** Cool

 **Deadpool:** I can't wait, this is gonna be great, right author?

_Shush, you're gonna blow my cover, man!_

**Deadpool:** Sorry about that, you know I can't help myself

 **FutureCorpsman:** Uhh, who are you talking to?

 **Deadpool:** Just myself

 **Surrender:** Alright, see you guys tomorrow

 **SuperNova:** Bye

 **FutureCorpsman:** See you later

 **Deadpool:** See you next chapter!

 **Surrender, FutureCorpsman, SuperNova** and **Deadpool** have left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Kraglins text name is a reference to the song at the end of GotG 2. And Garthan's name is Super Nova because in some version of the comics, he's Super Nova and then the becomes Omega Nova or some shit like that, IDK, so there. And I couldn't think of anything original for the rest of them.
> 
> Comment and kudos because those keep me going, luv y'all


	6. Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO I'm gonna introduce T'Challa and Shuri, with some Doctor Strange of course. I'll figure something out. So I've been out of school for 2 days and then I get to back for summer school. Yay. Can't you tell that I'm SO excited? That was sarcasm. I'm not going because I need it but because my mom thought it would be FUN. If she was going to make me go, at least let me take an advanced math or science course because I like doing those and not to mention, they're way more useful in life. Just... agh. At least Voltron Season 6 is coming soon. Here's the chapter key.
> 
> IronBoi- Tony  
> MightyShield- Steve  
> BirbyBow- Clint  
> BadAssSpiders- Natasha  
> RedMagic- Wanda  
> FlyBoyDonuts- Sam  
> SmokeWeed- Bruce  
> ThunderMan- Thor  
> Mindroid- Vision  
> SiberiaSoldier- Bucky  
> SpideyDude- Peter P.  
> WarMachine- Rhodey

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Yo, did you guys hear about the new students?

 **MightyShield:** I did hear about the new students, but not too much

 **RedMagic:** Oh, I know one of them actually.

 **IronBou:** Ooo, which one?

 **RedMagic:** Shuri actually

 **IronBoi:** Oh yeah... she's the princess, right?

 **RedMagic:** Yeah, her brother's a prince too, his name's T'Challa

 **IronBoi:** Oh, I forgot he was here too

 **IronBoi:** I was mostly talking about Shuri and that new kid Stephen

 **SiberiaSoldier:** There's another kid named Steven?

 **MightyShield:** His name is spelled differently

 **IronBoi:** So the new kid, Stephen, is in my homeroom and he asked me to call him...

 **SmokeWeed:** What did he ask you to call him? 

**FlyBoyDonuts:** Seriously Stark? What's taking so long?

 **BirbyBow:** Just tell us!

 **IronBoi:** Sorry, got distracted, anyways, he wants me to call him 'Dr. Strange'

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, I mean, it's a little... odd

 **BirbyBow:** A little? Try a LOT

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Who the hell asks people to call him Dr. Strange?

 **Mindroid:** Stephen Strange apparently

 **ThunderMan:** It could be worse, I remember when my sister asked us to call her the 'Goddess of Death'

 **FlyBoyDonuts:**...your family needs some fucking therapy

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, Mr. Odinson, that doesn't sound right

 **ThunderMan:** It is fine, my family isn't normal but we function

 **IronBoi:** No, no you don't.

 **IronBoi:** But moving past Thor's fucked up family, let's get right back into the new students

 **IronBoi:** So, while Thor was talking about his weird-ass sister, I had a chat with 'Dr. Strange'

 **BirbyBow:** Why?

 **SmokeWeed:** Reasons your bird brain can't comprehend

 **IronBoi:** So while I was talking to him I decided to ask 'why Dr. Strange?' And as it turns out, there's a legitimate reason behind it

 **RedMagic:** What is it? I'd be interested to know

 **Mindroid:** As would I

 **WarMachine:** I don't know what reason would justify Dr. Strange, it sounds like a bad superhero name

 **IronBoi:** It turns out he has an early acceptance to Medical School and his last name is Strange

 **BirbyBow:** Yeah, we know his last name is weird, what is it?

 **WarMachine:** No his last name is LITERALLY Strange

 **BirbyBow:** Stop hyping up his last name and tell me what it is

 **Mindroid:** Clint, for someone in advanced classes, you're quite dense

 **RedMagic:** Have you met him? Of course he is

 **BirbyBow:** Fuck you guys

 **IronBoi:** Here's his name: Stephen Strange

 **BirbyBow:** What are y-

 **BirbyBow:** Oh... OH...

 **IronBoi:** Is it sinking in now?

 **Mindroid:** I believe it is sir

 **BirbyBow:** C'mon guys, leave it alone

 **MightyShiled:** Alright, we will

 **IronBoi:** So that's the story of Stephen Strange

 **Mindroid:** Sir... did you see the shipping stats this morning?

 **IronBoi:** No? I was too busy getting to class

 **SpideyDude:** He was showing me to my math class!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Awwww

 **WarMachine:** I saw it

 **WarMachine:** Are you sure you want to tell him?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Just do it, he'll find out anyways.

 **Mindroid:** Go look at them now, sir

 **IronBoi:** Ok... going now

 **MightyShield:** Are we sure that this is a SMART decisions?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Nope

 **MightyShield:** Oh that's a relief, thanks for that

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Are you being... saracastic?

 **MightyShiled:** Oh, whatever gave you that idea?

 **RedMagic:** In all honesty, it's just surprising

 **Mindroid:** Very

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah, you're supposed to be the less-douchey Chad Thundercock

 **ThunderMan:** What does that mean? I have heard it, but I have no idea what it is supposed to be

 **WarMachine:** We'll tell you later buddy

 **SpideyDude:** Is anyone else concerned that it's taken Mr. Stark this long to respond?

 **RedMagic:** It's probably because he's freaking out

 **SpideyDude:** Why?

 **SmokeWeed:** The new shipping stats

 **SpideyDude:** What's on them?

 **WarMachine:** Well...

 **IronBoi:** WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!

 **WarMachine:** And there it is

 **SpideyDude:** Um... Mr. Stark?

 **IronBoi:** Once I find whoever posts ships, I will gut them! I WILL MURDER THEM!!

 **SpideyDude:** Oh jeez, what was on there

 **SmokeWeed:** Tony S./Stephen S.

 **IronBoi:** I don't even know the guy that well, and THEY HAVE THE GODDAMN NERVE TO DO THAT!!!???

 **MightyShield:** Calm down Tony

 **IronBoi:** Don't tell me to calm down, fuckwad

 **SpideyDude:** Mr. Stark, it's fine, it's not that big of a deal

 **IronBoi:** Are you fucking kidding me, of course it's a big deal!

 **RedMagic:** Stark, it is fine, no one takes it seriously

 **IronBoi:** 'Oh, no one takes it seriously', you know what? shut the fuck up Wanda, no one wants your opinion

 **Mindroid:** Sir. Apologize.

 **IronBoi:** DO YOU KNOW HOW STRESSING IT IS TO FIND YOURSELF BEING SHIPPED WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW AND YOU KNOW WHAT, PEOPLE TAKE IT FUCKING SERIOUSLY

 **Mindroid:** Sir, I will not ask again, apologize

 **IronBoi:** You know who takes it seriously, my dad, who then asks me if I have so much time to deal with romance, maybe I'm not dedicated enough to the company!

 **Mindroid:** Stark. Stop it.

 **IronBoi:** Sorry that's a ME issue. No excuse

 **IronBoi:** Sorry Wanda

 **MightyShield:** Tony... are you okay?

 **IronBoi:** JUst dandy

 **BadAssSpiders:** No, no you're not

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Is it your dad?

 **IronBoi:** Of course it's my dad, who the hell else would it be?!

 **RedMagic:** Stark, it's ok

 **IronBoi:** Sorry my dad's just being a dick, per usual

 **WarMachine:** So you're taking it out on us?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, I know, not cool...

 **IronBoi:** On the bright side, just a few months until I'm 18, so there's that

 **MightyShield:** Tony, we're here for you, ok?

 **IronBoi:** Can it,

 **IronBoi:** Anyways, who wants to help me track down who the shipping vandals are?

 **WarMachine:** Why?

 **IronBoi:** To say that we did it, we'll be legends!

 **SmokeWeed:** Like the great food war of 2016 wasn't a legendary, it was us v. Loki. It WAS GREAT!

 **IronBoi:** Says the one who didn't get shoved off of a table onto Gamora Titan's laptop, she's scary as hell

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah... but remember when Loki stood on top of a table right after that, said he was a god, but then I shoved him off into a pile of food and then said-

 **RedMagic:** 'Puny God', you were quite famous for that line

 **ThunderMan:** I remember my brother getting so angry after that

 **ThunderMan:** It was funny

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, yeah, whatevs, anyways... please help me track down the shipping vandals?

 **WarMachine:**...fine. Goddammit, I can't say no.

 **IronBoi:** YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **IronBoi:** Okay, bye everyone, see you later

 **SpideyDude:** Bye Mr. Stark!

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**


	7. Calm Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I saw iZombie season four on Netflix today, AND BOY DO I HAVE SOME WORDS ABOUT THAT! So this is my obligatory fangirl rant chapter with me pushing my problems with entertainment onto the secret shipping society. Yay.
> 
> Surrender- Kraglin  
> SuperNova- Denarian Saal  
> FutureCorpsman- Rhomann Dey  
> Deadpool- Deadpool

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Alright, who saw iZombie season four last night?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I did, watched it all in one sitting, no sleep, but it was worth it

 **Surrender:** For that season finale? No, it was not worth it

 **FutureCorpsman:** NO, THEY CAN'T JUST GIVE US A TON OF DEVELOPMENT ON CH-

 **SuperNova:** DON'T SPOIL IT.

 **Surrender:** ...are you not done?

 **SuperNova:** No, no I am not done.

 **FutureCorpsman:** How are you not done? It was updated days ago

 **SuperNova:** Because unlike you cretins, I wanted to study for the Calc test

 **Surrender:** I'm in normal math so...

 **FutureCorpsman:** Alright, I understand Garthan, however... you're not gonna like what happens to Chase Graves

 **SuperNova:** CRAP, HE'S ONE OF MY FAVES, WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well...

 **SuperNova:** JUST TELL ME

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** What are you guys texting about at 6 in the morning?

 **Surrender:** The newest season of iZombie got added to netflix, so we're discussing it

 **Deadpool:** Really? I love that show!

 **Surrender:** Really?

 **Deadpool:** No, the author wants me to say I do so that she can rant through me

 **Surrender:** Uh... what?

 **Deadpool:** Nothing, nevermind...

 **Deadpool:** But are you talking about the new season?

 **Surrender:** Yeah! Except Mr. Study over here hasn't seen it yet

 **SuperNova:** Not your best name, and what's wrong with me studying? I'm gonna be the only one to pass my classes, you know that

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, out of everyone in our group, he's guaranteed to be a Denarian in Irani's company

 **SuperNova:** Just text me with a quick rundown of what happened to him, ok?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Can't say I didn't warn you

 **Surrender:** Guys, it's been like 5 minutes, are you okay?

 **SuperNova:** HOW DARE SHE EVEN DO A THING LIKE THAT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ENDING

 **Surrender:** And there we are

 **SuperNova:** And now I'm so upset that I don't want to study, and I'm gonna fail my classes here at this fancy-ass mostly private school, and end up going to community college!

 **Surrender:** Try not to make us normal kids feel bad

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, yeah, I know. The private school is attempting to go public but... meh

 **Surrender:** I was talking about the communtiy college dig, but the public thing is a rough process, they only chose the kids with the BEST grades

 **Surrender:** I mean, I did very well at my old school but here where everyone is on my level, it's a lot harder

 **SuperNova:** Yeah... I have to do a lot of extra things to stay on top of my grades, my clubs, AND watching shows, not to mention info gathering for the shipping board

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, speaking of that, did you hear the news?

 **SuperNova:** Something about Stark yelling at some people yesterday morning?

 **Deadpool:** OOoo yeah, I heard him stand on the lunch tables in the cafeteria during breakfast and decree it.

 **SuperNova:** Why are you making him sound like some king?

 **Deadpool:** Because he's the future CEO of Stark Industries, duh

 **FutureCorpsman:** LET ME SPEAK

 **Surrender:** The floor is yours

 **FutureCorpsman:** So like Wade said, Stark stood on top of a table in the cafeteria and yelled

 **SuperNova:** What? What did he yell?

 **FutureCorpsman:** So I'm quoting him here, don't get mad at me "HEY YOU SHIPPING MOTHERFUCKERS, YEAH I'M TALKING 'BOUT THE WEIRDOS WHO POST THOSE DAMN SHIPS EVERY DAY, YOUR RECKONING IS COMING, SO SQUARE UP THOTS!"

 **FutureCorpsman:** And then he left the cafeteria, and everyone was in complete silence. Mr. Coulson tried to give him detention for doing that, but Stark had already run away. He couldn't catch him.

 **SuperNova:** HE SWORE AT US?!

 **Surrender:** I'm more surprised he called us 'thots'

 **SuperNova:** What does 'thot' mean?

 **Surrender:** Do you guys want to tell him, or should I? Because I really don't want to

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, that's like asking to be yelled at

 **SuperNova:** What's so bad about it?

 **Deadpool:** Oo, I'll do it

 **Deadpool:** Here's what it means, **T** hat **H** o **O** ver **T** here.

 **SuperNova:** HE CALLS US HOOKERS? WE SHALL DEFEND OUR REPUTATIONS!

 **Surrender:** Dude, no one knows its us

 **SuperNova:** Still, the name of the Secret Shipping Society will forever be tarnished because of this

 **Surrender:** Like it wasn't already tarnished when we put Phil Coulson/Nick Fury on there

 **SuperNova:** A teacher and a principal, a forbidden romance

 **Deadpool:** Could've worked

 **FutureCorpsman:** But it didn't, and then they said whoever was doing the shipping would be suspended, possibly expelled

 **Surrender:** That's right! So think about it Garthan, if we go after them, they'll know it's us, and then we'll all be suspended or expelled, how're Nova Corporation people going to like that?

 **SuperNova:** You do make a good point, it would be unwise of me to do so and I would lose my entire, meticulously planned, future.

 **FutureCorpsman:** We can, however, use this to our advantage and focus all of our ships on Stark for the time being?

 **Surrender:** Of course, the student body would be concerned if we didn't respond to a threat like that

 **Deadpool:** Oo, what are going to do? Expose him? Blackmail him? Oh, what about murder!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Calm down, we're doing none of those things, right Kraglin?

 **Surrender:** Well...

 **FutureCorpsman:** For fuck's sake

 **SuperNova:** I'm going with Dey on this one, we're not going to kill him

 **Surrender:** I never said we had to KILL him... maybe just... blackmail or... exposing him

 **Deadpool:** Not quite as fun, but sure, that'll do

 **SuperNova:** No blackmail, no exposing, those are the rules and I expect you to follow them

 **Surrender:** Fine, but all our ships tomorrow have to have Tony Stark in them

 **SuperNova:** Deal

 **FutureCorpsman:** Sounds good

 **Deadpool:** Not quite as fun as I was hoping it would be, but I'll take what I can get

 **Surrender:** Ok, e-mail everything to me by the end of school, I'll need it then

 **SuperNova:** I'm afraid I won't be able to, I'm showing the new students around today, Shuri and T'Challa, the royal siblings and Stephen Strange, the kid who got accepted early into med school

 **SuperNova:** Do you want me to tell you any info about them in case we decided to ship them with someone?

 **Surrender:** Write it down, but don't tell me, we have revenge to focus on

 **Deadpool:** Alright then! For Tony's destruction!

 **Surrender:** Stop it. Get some help.

 **FutureCorpsman:** Vine is dead, get over it

 **Surrender:** YOU BETTER STOP, STOP, BITCH STOP, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **FutureCorpsman:** Calm down

 **SuperNova:** Good grief

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...bye everyone, see you tomorrow

 **FutureCorpsman** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	8. It's fucking on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony starts a war with the Secret Shipping Society, needless to say, it was a terrible idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm in summer school now. It's basically the introduction to regular high school for a freakin' month, I hate it. I get an average of 4 hours of sleep a night because I have to wake up at SIX IN THE MORNING! And I kind of hate it, however, it also makes me fall asleep faster so... yeah. I'm just stressed at the moment and I need an outlet, so fanfiction. (John Mulaney, eh?) Here's the key
> 
> IronBoi- Tony  
> MightyShield- Steve  
> BirbyBow- Clint  
> BadAssSpiders- Natasha  
> RedMagic- Wanda  
> FlyBoyDonuts- Sam  
> SmokeWeed- Bruce  
> ThunderMan- Thor  
> Mindroid- Vision  
> SiberiaSoldier- Bucky  
> SpideyDude- Peter P.  
> WarMachine- Rhodey

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Oh it's fucking on with those fucking shippers

 **BirbyBow:** Oh god, what happened?

 **IronBoi:** All of the ships today were Tony/Stephen, Tony/Steve, Tony/Pepper, Tony/WHATEVER THE FUCK EXISTS

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah, it was all Tony x Whoever Breathes

 **IronBoi:** This means war

 **MightyShield:** In all fairness, you called them 'motherfuckers' and 'thots' and told them to square up

 **SiberiaSoldier:** And they responded in kind

 **SpideyDude:** From what I've heard, they hear, know and see all, they could ruin your life in an instant

 **IronBoi:** In an instant, huh?

 **SpideyDude:** Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that

 **BadAssSpiders:** You gave him a challenge, you shouldn't have did that

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** That was bad grammar

 **BadAssSpiders:** Fuck you, I'm sleep deprived

 **WarMachine:** Ignoring that for now, Tony, you did an idiotic thing, these guys seem intense

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, yeah, I know, but still... don't you think it would be fun?

 **BadAssSpiders:** ...fun?

 **BadAssSpiders:** What's fun about having your life ruined by shippers!

 **IronBoi:** You're not going to stop me

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah... I know

 **IronBoi:** So are you going to help me?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Of course I will, I'm your friend Tony

 **Mindroid:** As are the rest of us, sir

 **RedMagic:** Well... most of us

 **SpideyDude:** Shush

 **ThunderMan:** Friend Stark, you have helped me through many troubling times, it seems unfair that I would not be at your side during a silly quest, we shall complete it and best these scoundrels

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah, you're one of my only friends

 **MightyShield:** I know we don't always get along, but... I stand with you

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm just doing what Steve tells me to do

 **IronBoi:** Awww.... thank you all

 **IronBoi:** NOW SHALL WE KICK SOME SHIPPING ASS?!

 **BadAssSpiders:** You need a gameplan to do that

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yeah, a good one too, these guys have never been caught

 **BadAssSpiders:** So catch the uncatchable people? Well, this'll be easy

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Ha. Anyways, how have they never been caught, the school has security cameras, right?

 **SpideyDude:** From what I heard, they somehow erase the footage so that there's no evidence and that they manage to do it as soon as student council lets out, and no one knows who it is

 **BadAssSpiders:** So, suspects, list them out Bucky

 **SiberiaSoldier:** For sure someone who has access to the camera's in the morning, think of kids who need to be in the office, which is the student council, and it goes up as soon as it let's out, so they're looking suspicous

 **BadAssSpiders:** Very good, however, I have the feeling that there's a group behind this, there's no way one person is this coordinated

 **IronBoi:** I don't know, Steve is a model students, he has to get a lot of stuff done and he does it by himself

 **MightyShield:** Barely

 **BadAssSpiders:** While true, the student council has students that do a lot more than Steve, so imagine doing that AND posting regular shipping stats every day, it would be difficult as a single person operation

 **SmokeWeed:** Yes, the odds of someone doing that successfully for 3 full school years so far, and beginning the fourth is unlikely and near impossible.

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** So a group of student council kids? Are you sure, I mean most of them are... you know, Irani's group

 **IronBoi:** Ugh, that bitch, of course it's her group

 **SpideyDude:** Uh oh, I heard her group is really intense, there's no way that they would do something like that

 **BadAssSpiders:** In all honesty it seems unlikely, however, appearances can be deceiving, so don't rule them out yet

 **IronBoi:** Hey... guys?

 **Mindroid:** What is it, sir?

 **IronBoi:** You know that kid Rocket, the delinquent who stole the golf cart with his friends? Yeah, he told me he can help me find out who's in the Secret Shipping Society

 **BadAssSpiders:** The WHAT?!

 **IronBoi:** The Secret Shipping Society, he told me that's what they call themselves, he also confirmed it was multiple people

 **WarMachine:** What? I am so confused, did he know that you were going to war with them?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, he says he heard me in the cafeteria yesterday, anyway... he wants to help me

 **BadAssSpiders:** Quick, ask their names! Ask how many there are, what gender

 **IronBoi:** Okay, there are 3 of them, and they're all guys and he's ab-

 **IronBoi:** Shit, his foster brother, Quill, walked up and dragged him away once he heard what we were talking about, for the names I only got K or a C sound at the start of it for one person

 **BadAssSpiders:** We can assume that Quill knows, most likely his girlfriend too -- they are very close -- and the rest of their little group as well

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Perhaps it's one of their group that's in it?

 **BadAssSpiders:** No, no one in their group is on the student council, not after what they did to Irani's mansion

 **RedMagic:** I remember that, there was something about her dog, 'Xandar', and a guy named Ronan?

 **SmokeWeed:** No one remembers what happened, only that Irani gets mad if you talk about it

 **WarMachine:** Yeah, just... don't

 **Mindroid:** Perhaps someone in Quill's group is friends with someone on the student council?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Maybe, but I haven't seen any public interactions between the groups, so this could be the reason to start... monitoring... a few suspects

 **Thunderman:** Dear friend, I think you mean stalk

 **BirbyBow:** He gets it

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Yeah, Nat, do you understand how creepy that sounds?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, yeah, I know... however, it's valid. Think about it, Quill knows who they are, someone in the SSS(Secret Shipping Society) MUST know his group and must have told him, if we monitor him, we'll find out

 **IronBoi:** We could just press on Rocket for more information

 **SpideyDude:** Or we could spend a night at the school intently watching the box and seeing which student council member unlocks it

 **SiberiaSoldier:** All of these seem like valid options, however, we can only choose the one that's the most realistic and easy way to get it. Ask Rocket again.

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Crap, gotta go, see you later

 **SiberiaSoldier** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, we're going with my plan, we gather information on Peter Quill's group

 **SpideyDude:** Bu-

 **BadAssSpiders:** No buts kid, trust me, I will get us results

 **BadAssSpiders:** We'll discuss it more in detail at lunch, ok?

 **IronBoi:** Deal

 **WarMachine:** Yeah, ok

 **SmokeWeed:** k

 **BirbyBow:** Ballin'

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Just don't, just no. Stop it, Clint, get some help. But that's a yes to you, Nat

 **BirbyBow:** rude

 **ThunderMan:** Sure thing, Friend Romanoff 

**RedMagic:** Of course

 **Mindroid:** While I disagree, I will go along with this for Sir's sake

 **IronBoi:** Love you too buddy

 **BadAssSpiders:** Alright then, see you at lunch. DOWN WITH SSS!

 **SpideyDude:** I'll make posters

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**


	9. You're Screwed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I have free time so I'm probably going to be able to update this every day for like a week or two before taking a break to do my other stories. Yay. I'm so tired but fuck sleep. WOO. Here are the names for the chapter
> 
> Starlord/StarMunch- Peter Q.  
> WorldsDeadliestAcademic- Gamora  
> IAmInvisible- Drax  
> Rocket/TrashPanda- Rocket  
> HappyLittleTree- Groot  
> Surrender- Kraglin

**Surrender** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Surrender:** So... Rocket?

 **TrashPanda:** Yes?

 **Surrender:** Fuck you

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** What'd he do?

 **Surrender:** HE TRIED TO REVEAL SSS TO TONY'S GROUP!

 **StarMunch:** You're screwed 

**Surrender:** You know, the group that has the vendetta against us, and one of them literally called my squad THOTS, THOTS bitch, I'm mad about that. Who the hell does he think he is, doing that

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, sorry about that

 **StarMunch:** I mean, I'm REALLY sorry, I didn't realize he was talking about it until too late

 **TrashPanda:** I'm mad that you covered my mouth before I could completely say Kraglin

 **Surrender:** Oh fuck, you said part of my name?

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, why?

 **Surrender:** Why? WHY?! NOW THEY KNOW PART OF MY NAME AND ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO FINDING OUT WHO I AM!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Calm down, its fine, you're safe and SSS is safe

 **IAmInvisible:** What does SSS mean?

 **Surrender:** Secret Shipping Society, get with the program Drax

 **HappyLittleTree:** oh is sss ur group of frens that u txt all the tme?

 **Surrender:** First of all, your texting skills are horrendous, they've gotten worse, and second, I don't text them ALL the time

 **StarMunch:** But you text them a lot, right?

 **Surrender:** Of course I do, do you know how much planning goes into the shipping boards? It ain't easy man

 **StarMunch:** You pull names out of a hat and then put them on the board, right?

 **Surrender:** Oh my god, no, who told you that?

 **StarMunch:** Rocket did

 **Surrender:** He's lying to you, he's lying a lot

 **StarMunch:** Then how do you do it?

 **Surrender:** Well, we have dossiers of almost every student in school, their personalities, facts about them, family life etc. etc., anyways, we find ones that we think would match and then we pair them on the board

 **StarMunch:** Wait, so Tony and I were considered a 'good match', where the hell did you get that from? 

**Surrender:** I drank too much coffee, and I remember thinking, 'hey, he likes music, oh, he likes music too, I think they'd like to date'

 **StarMunch:** That's all the thought you put into it?

 **Surrender:** Fuck you 

**Surrender:** But long story short, I have to text them for, you know, practical reasons

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Really? 'Practical' reasons? I think they're your friends

 **Surrender:** They are not, they are people who like shipping and they discuss ships and shows and movies with me

 **TrashPanda:** That's a friend you idiot

 **Surrender:** Quiet, traitor

 **TrashPanda:** Consider it vengeance for the hell you put Quill through

 **StarMunch:** Okay, now you're over exaggering, it wasn't that bad

 **TrashPanda:** Shut up, Quill! I'm trying to make him feel guilty

 **Surrender:** I'm not going to feel guilty about my hobby

 **TrashPanda:** It's a weird-ass hobby

 **IAmInvisible:** I do not think you are one to speak, Rocket, your hobby is blowing random objects up

 **TrashPanda:** And it's harmless

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Ehh....

 **TrashPanda:** Fine. Mostly harmless, to me, at least

 **StarMunch:** For the most part

 **TrashPanda:** ANYWAYS. Kraglin, your hobby is gonna get you beaten up real bad

 **Surrender:** I hope that's not a threat

 **HappyLittleTree:** i hope so 2

 **Surrender:** WHY IS HE IN THIS CHAT, WE ARE TAINTING HIM!

 **HappyLittleTree:** rocket told me 2 tell u 2 go... go... fuk urself?

 **Surrender:** Rocket, the only one who's gonna get his ass beat is yours for teaching him that

 **TrashPanda:** Puh-lease, he's gotten ahold of Quill's retro porno rags, he's seen and heard worse

 **Surrender:** QUILL

 **StarMunch:** How did you guys get ahold of those!? They were hidden in a secure location!

 **TrashPanda:** In your desk is not a secure location

 **HappyLittleTree:** those ladies had no clothes, i wonder if they r poor and cant afford any

 **HappyLittleTree:** thats sad

 **Surrender:** I swear, you have a Goku-level of innocence, you're such a pure, pure, ray of sunshine

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademica:** Almost no one understands your references

 **Surrender:** Really, not even Dragon Ball?

 **StarMunch:** Nope

 **TrashPanda:** Nah, never even heard of it

 **IAmInvisible:** I am not familiar with this show you speak of

 **Surrender:** HOW? It's literally one of the most famous anime's of all time, it's legendary! It's right up there with Sailor Moon for most popular anime. Which is saying a lot

 **HappyLittleTree:** anime is shit

 **Surrender:** ...did Rocket teach you that?

 **HappyLittleTree:** yes

 **Surrender:** Rocket, fuck you, and I hope you know that you're on the shit-list along with Tony Stark, prepare for the shipping war

 **Surrender:** I will post your name on that board with so many people, you'll be on there forever

 **TrashPanda:** You wouldn't...

 **Surrender:** No one insults my anime and gets away with it

 **TrashPanda:** Yondu will get pissed once I tell him

 **TrashPanda:** He might even take away your computer privileges so that you can't write your weird fanfic anymore

 **Surrender:** First of all, my fanfic is not weird, it's cool and original and many people love it, so suck it 

**Surrender:** Second, unless you want me to tell him where your explosives are, I wouldn't say a word

 **TrashPanda:** Well played, well played

 **StarMunch:** Jeez, you guys are scary

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oh yes, positively terrifying

 **StarMunch:** I know that you're making fun of me, but love you anyways

 **IAmInvisible:** Quill is not right in the head

 **TrashPanda:** It isn't his head he's thinking with

 **StarMunch:** Dude

 **TrashPanda:** What?

 **StarMunch:** You are actually the worst, you know that?

 **TrashPanda:** Who would I be if I wasn't?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I don't know, a decent person?

 **TrashPanda:** Where's the fun in that?

 **HappyLittleTree:** theres no fun

 **TrashPanda:** Exactly!

 **IAmInvisible:** That is an odd question, why would you not want to be a decent person? 

**TrashPanda:** There's no use trying to explain it to you, so just ignore it

 **TrashPanda:** But Kraglin, this means war

 **Surrender:** My group and I will curb stomp you

 **TrashPanda:** Or I could blow you all to hell

 **StarMunch:** I'm very scared and entertained by this at the same time

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** As you should be

 **IAmInvisible:** Yes, it is quite odd to see these two pull out all of their resources, this shall be an entertaining battle

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, I just hope it doesn't turn into a war

 **HappyLittleTree:** yeah war is very very bad

 **StarMunch:** We are so tainting this child...

 **Surrender:** Okay, Rocket, prepare to feel my wrath

 **TrashPanda:** I won't feel shit, fuckface, except pride because you're gonna lose

 **Surrender:** We'll see, goodbye then

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**


	10. Shit, we're done for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The SSS freaks out because all this BS is happening to them, prepare for the references

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm trying to write this earlier in the day so that I actually remember what I wrote when I'm writing the next chapter. Because that's an actual problem I have, which is kind of concerning. But whatever, I got my coffee so I'm good. Here is the key to this chapter
> 
> Surrender- Kraglin  
> SuperNova- Denarian Saal  
> FutureCorpsman- Denarian Dey  
> Deadpool- Deadpool

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Socieity**

 **Surrender:** Guys, we got a problem

 **SuperNova:** Make that problems, multiple problems 

**FutureCorpsman:** Okay, we don't have much time, study hall ends in a little bit, hurry it up here, Kraglin goes first

 **Surrender:** Thanks, anyways, Rocket apparently told Tony's friends some info about us

 **Deadpool:** Well, that's not good, what'd he say?

 **Surrender:** He told them our group name

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's a good name

 **Deadpool:** I don't know, just sounded like the author was being lazy

 **Surrender:** ...right, anyways, he told them there were three of us

 **Deadpool:** Technically wrong, there's four now

 **Surrender:** He doesn't know that, and he said that we're all dudes

 **SuperNova:** May I go now?

 **Surrender:** Of course

 **SuperNova:** Okay, so I stole Stark's phone

 **Surrender:** WHOA WHAT THE FUCK GARTHAN

 **SuperNova:** What?

 **FutureCorpsman:** You, the most uptight person I know, stole Tony Stark's -- THE TONY STARK'S -- PHONE

 **Surrender:** Yeah, that's messed up dude

 **SuperNova:** I heard whispers that he was catching onto who the shipping vandals were, so I needed to see what he knew

 **Deadpool:** I didn't think you had it in you

 **SuperNova:** Of course I did, who do you think I am?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just... tell us what you found

 **SuperNova:** Right, so I found his group chat with his other friends, they call themselves the 'Avengers', and I read their texts

 **Deadpool:** At least it's not Revengers

 **FutureCorpsman:** What

 **Deadpool:** Sorry, fourth wall joke

 **Surrender:** Ignoring Wade's weirdness, again, what did you find Garthan?

 **SuperNova:** It turns out Natalia Romanova, or Natasha Romanoff now, can read into situations extremely well as well as Bucky Barnes

 **Surrender:** AND?

 **SuperNova:** They've deduced that it's probably the student council that has our group in it and that Peter Quill's group knows who we are

 **Surrender:** Shit, we're done for

 **FutureCorpsman:** CRAP, they know Garthan and I are on the student council, it won't be long now

 **Deadpool:** Until what? What will it be not be too long for? Make some damn sense

 **FutureCorpsman:** Until they figure out our identities, I thought that the inference was pretty obvious

 **Deadpool:** You think I pay attention in Social Studies when they try and make us learn 'Critical Thinking Skills'?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I'd hope so

 **Surrender:** No, no he does not, he constantly gets in trouble for it too

 **FutureCorpsman:** If you don't pay attention, you'll never graduate

 **Deadpool:** If I pass with a C I'll be fine

 **FutureCorpsman:** I'm not even going to go into what's wrong with that philosophy, just... Garthan continue, please

 **SuperNova:** Sure. And they've decided to follow Quill's group

 **Surrender:** And by follow, you mean...

 **SuperNova:** Stalk

 **Deadpool:** What else did you expect from Natasha Romanoff, the lady who is the one and only, Black Widow

 **Surrender:** That nickname from middle school never gets old

 **Deadpool:** She got it from middle school, sure, sure

 **FutureCorpsman:** Kraglin are you not worried here?!

 **Surrender:** I am, I'm just internalizing it

 **Deadpool:** Don't we all?

 **SuperNova:** No, some of us have healthy ways of dealing with problems

 **Surrender:** Like blowing up pre-calc books with bottle rockets?

 **SuperNova:** That was ONE time. ONE TIME.

 **Surrender:** One time is all it takes

 **FutureCorpsman:** While repressing your emotions is fun and all, WE NEED TO FREAK OUT

 **SuperNova:** Maybe not freaking out, we need a gameplan

 **Surrender:** For what?

 **SuperNova:** SO WE CAN STAY ANONYMOUS? WHAT ELSE DICKHEAD?!

 **Deadpool:** Yeah... that's kind of important to you, isn't it?

 **Surrender:** Yeah, I know I sound calm but... I'm muffling my screams with a pillow

 **FutureCorpsman:** STOP YOUR SCREAMING AND HELP US COME UP WITH A GAME PLAN

 **SuperNova:** OKAY. OKAY. Everyone stop your screaming. We need a game plan, here are the facts. 1- Peter's group knows who we are, thanks for that Kraglin

 **Surrender:** hey!

 **SuperNova:** 2- Tony's group knows that they know, they know our genders, that we're a group and that some of us have to be on the student council and 3- They're monitoring Quill and his friend group

 **Surrender:** That's the info we have?

 **SuperNova:** Yes. I do suggest we throw them off of our scent, and we have to make sure Rocket doesn't talk about us anymore

 **Surrender:** Don't worry, I've got that covered, I'll be posting the ships in our usual way of course.

 **Deadpool:** I've always wondered this, but how do you guys get it in there every day and not get caught?

 **Surrender:** Well, I've always wanted to tell someone so here goes nothing. So after Garthan and Rhomann get out of Student Council, I'm hidden in the school bathrooms.

 **Deadpool:** I'm sorry, but what the fuck? You're in the school bathrooms.

 **Surrender:** Yeah, I hitch a ride with Garthan and Rhomann to school, I hide out in the bathrooms and piggyback off of someones free wifi and I read fanfic, BECAUSE CHICCOLO IS THE SHIT, until the Student council gets let out. And every time it happens, Garthan always drops a kleenex with the key to the board, since it's locked with glass, into the trash

 **Deadpool:** This is going to be convulated isn't it?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Very much so

 **Surrender:** Shush. Anyways, as soon as I hear footsteps I wait in the bathroom doorway out of any camera's range while Garthan goes to the basement, which has the camera controls in it, because it's close to his locker and it's with enough people that he doesn't look suspicious, and he slips into the control room where he turns off the cameras and proceeds to erase the last 2 minutes or so of evidence

 **Deadpool:** Garthan, you do realize that's very illegal, right? I mean, I don't have a problem with it, but you always go on about college

 **SuperNova:** It's this or bottle rockets

 **Deadpool:** Fair point

 **Surrender:** CONTINUING ON, once the camera goes down and its light is off in the office, Rhomann --who has to be there because he picks up mail for some of his teachers -- coughs twice and stomps his foot once to let me know its safe after the halls have cleared of course, I come out and take the key, open the case, and pin the papers on the board.

 **Deadpool:** This is highly thought out and I'm very impressed

 **Surrender:** As you should be, but I'm not done yet. Then after 10 minutes or so when more students start arriving, Garthan turns on the cameras and goes to his locker, not looking suspicious because the hallway he exits out of isn't covered by cameras and pretends to check his phone for a couple minutes before going to his locker and then homeroom

 **FutureCorpsman:** And this is how you start a shipping cult

 **SuperNova:** We're not a cult!

 **Deadpool:** I mean... kinda?

 **Surrender:** Just... whatever man. Oh, Garthan?

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, what?

 **Surrender:** Did you screen shot Tony's group chat?

 **SuperNova:** And send it to me and then delete the messages and my number? Yes

 **Surrender:** AND give his phone back?

 **SuperNova** Yeah, that too, anyways, want me to send them to you?

 **Surrender:** Oh yes, I have plans for those

 **Deadpool:** I'm getting a creepy vibe here, and I think study hall is over

 **Surrender:** So time to leave?

 **Deadpool:** Yes, thank you

 **SuperNova:** Bye, I guess

 **FutureCorpsman:** Bye

 **Deadpool:** See you later motherfuckers

 **Surrender:** Bye-bye-bye

 **SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	11. What the hell is going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers based for this chapter + added Pepper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have not been having a good weekend, it's been kind of shitty, but here's another chapter! Here's the key
> 
> IronBoi- Tony  
> Mindroid- Vision  
> BadAssSpiders- Natasha  
> SmokeWeed- Bruce  
> WarMachine- Rhodey  
> RedMagic- Wanda  
> BirbyBow- Clint  
> FlyBoyDonuts- Sam  
> MightyShield- Steve  
> SiberiaSoldier- Bucky  
> SpideyDude- Peter P.  
> ThunderMan- Tho  
> SpiceBabe- Pepper

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Okay, who's the rat?

 **RedMagic:** I'm sorry, what?

 **IronBoi:** Y'all fucking heard me, who's the rat?

 **MightyShield:** Tony, no one knows what you're talking about

 **IronBoi:** Have any of you idiots seen the board this morning?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Um, no? We're all just getting to school

 **RedMagic:** Yeah, the only one here this early in the morning is you, Stark.

 **IronBoi:** Excuse me for being a decent fucking student

 **Mindroid:** You might want to calm down a bit sir, that attitude will get you hurt?

 **IronBoi:** I'll ignore the threat subtext there and just say, why has no one fucking seen it yet?!

 **SmokeWeed:** Calm down man, I'm just about to the school, only a block away

 **IronBoi:** But you walk to school, you take for fucking ever to get here! Just get a goddamn carpool

 **SmokeWeed:** I'm trying to reduce my carbon footprint

 **IronBoi:** I call so much bullshit on that man, that's just not fucking true

 **SmokeWeed:** Yes it is

 **IronBoi:** Why are you trying to reduce it, the earth is fucked anyway? So just get a ride to school!

 **SmokeWeed:** I don't want it to get fucked when I'm alive!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Jeez, you two are insufferable, whatever

 **IronBoi:** Sorry, I'm a bit on edge because no one is at school yet and can see what I see, so SOMEONE JUST GET TO THE GODDAMN SCHOOL ALREADY!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yeah, I'm walking through the door, I don't see an-

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Fuck. Fuck me.

 **MightyShield:** Bucky, what is it?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Check for yourself Steve

 **MightyShield:** Are those...

 **IronBoi:** Printed out screenshots of our groupchats? Yes, yes they are

 **Mindroid:** It seems sirs concerns were right, there is a likely possibility of a mole among us

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** A mole, are you serious?

 **IronBoi:** I'm no joking mood, Wilson

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Okay, okay, chill dude, chill

 **RedMagic:** I'm looking at the screenshots now, I'm trying to see if there are any defining features on the paper

 **SiberiaSoldiers:** It looked like the outsides were cut away

 **IronBoi:** THEN CHECK THE FUCKING COLORS OF THE TEXTS, OR THE NUMBERS!

 **BirbyBow:** Jesus christ, Stark, calm down

 **MightyShield:** Stark, stop

 **SiberiaSoldier:** It's printed black and white, so no colors, but it does seem like the main number is this one

 **Siberia Soldier:** I'm not sure who's it is, I'll check it in my phone

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Oh... oh shit. Stark?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yeah, it's your number

 **IronBoi:** What?

 **RedMagic:** You ratted us out!

 **IronBoi:** What the hell, no I didn't!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Stark, it really sounds like you did

 **IronBoi:** I didn't! I can totally tell you that I didn't show my phone to anyone, in fact, I didn't even have it yesterday because I lost-

 **IronBoi:** Oh. Oh shit. Oh shit!

 **SmokeWeed:** What is it now?

 **IronBoi:** I lost my phone yesterday, but maybe... I didn't lose it at all. Maybe it was stolen

 **BirbyBow:** Likely story

 **IronBoi:** No, guys, I'm serious, listen to me-

 **RedMagic:** Why should we listen to the guy that sold us out to the enemy, an enemy that you started a war with!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Dude, we know you did it, fess up already, there's no use in lying.

 **IronBoi:** Seriously, I didn't fucking do it, listen to me you assholes I didn-

 **MightyShield:** Tony, you got to admit it... it doesn't look good

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Steve's right, it's your number that sending out the messages and all of ours that receive it. You're the one who got the screenshots and it's more than likely that you sold us out

 **IronBoi:** Are you fucking serious right now, Steve? Aren't you the one who's all, 'believe in your friends', and you hit me with this bullshit? What the fuck!

 **Mindroid:** Sir, I believe you. You wouldn't lie about something like this

 **BadAssSpiders:** I believe you Stark. When you're serious about something, you're serious. I can't believe you guys would think he' do something like this.

 **SpideyDude** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpideyDude:** Hey guys what's up?

 **IronBoi:** Now now, Peter

 **SpideyDude:** Why? What's wrong?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Scroll up and read the chats, dumbass

 **SpideyDude:** Alright, alright, I'm doing it, no need to be such a jerk about it

 **SpideyDude:** I read it.

 **RedMagic:** And?

 **SpideyDude:** Are you guys really ganging up on Tony right now? There's no way he would rat us out to them!

 **BadAssSpiders:** I mean, he is the one who started the war with them in the first place

 **IronBoi:** YES! Thank you

 **MightyShield:** Maybe he didn't give it to them then

 **RedMagic:** Whatever, I'm still suspicous

 **BirbyBow:** We'll talk about this later, Stark

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** I'll hang back for now

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I mean, I don't really care... so...

 **IronBoi:** Before you all ganged up on me, there was someone I wanted you to meet, she's taking AP Psych currently and has been working for years to decode the identities of the SSS

 **IronBoi:** I introduce to you, the one, the only.... Virginia Potts!

 **IronBoi** added **SpiceBabe** to **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpiceBabe:** You can call me Pepper

 **IronBoi:** Alright Peps, tell them what you have!

 **SpiceBabe:** Just Pepper, thank you. From what I know, it's a very tight-knit operation. The ships in questions are actually well researched and not sloppily put together like some people suggest, this suggests that they spend a lot of time on this. 

**SpiceBabe:** They must have a way of collecting information about people which suggests informants or they're stalkers but assuming they're on the student council, them having informants is more likely

 **MightyShield:** She really is the real deal, isn't she?

 **IronBoi:** Told you

 **RedMagic:** Still don't trust you, Stark

 **IronBoi:** Fuck you

 **SpiceBabe:** Children, can you behave?

 **RedMagic:** I can, don't know if he can

 **IronBoi:** I can, when I want to. And I don't want to. 

**WarMachine:** Tony, stop.

 **IronBoi:** Fine...

 **MightyShield:** Tony, we're sorry

 **SpideyDude:** You guys should be, you jumped on the hate band-wagon and that never ends up being good

 **SmokeWeed:** Dude, you're so woke

 **BirbyBow:** No, just no, never use that word again, ever. Stop yourself, kick yourself. 

**SmokeWeed:** You're not woke at all, man

 **BirbyBow:** I'm gonna kill this motherfucker, I swear

 **IronBoi:** Whatever, just... see you guys after class

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**


	12. A war's brewing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are rising between the SSS and Tony's group, what's going to happen? Who's going to get involved? Find out today in this chapter of... Texts of High School Hell!

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Did you guys see what I was able to put up this morning, along with the ships?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yes, yes we did

 **Surrender:** And?

 **FutureCorpsman:** That was not cool, kind of a dick move, really.

 **Surrender:** Excuse you, we're at war here!

 **FutureCorpsman:** With an enemy you helped create!

 **Surrender:** A war's brewing. It's not MY fucking fault that Tony Stark is a bitch baby!

 **Deadpool:** Sorry... bitch baby?

 **SuperNova:** I'm really hoping you didn't just do that, Kraglin

 **Surrender:** Do what?

 **SuperNova:** Call Tony Stark a bitch baby

 **Surrender:** Why shouldn't I have done that?

 **SuperNova:** If he finds this group chat he'll probably kill you

 **FutureCorpsman:** And it's also a douchebaggey thing to do

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, don't be such a fucking douche canoe

 **Surrender:** You need to learn the art of swearing my friend

 **Deadpool:** Fuck you

 **Surrender:** Weirdo

 **Deadpool:** 2d character

 **Surrender:** I'm not going to do this right now, I swear

 **SuperNova:** Getting back on topic here, was it really necessary to post their group chats for the whole world to see? You basically screwed us over more

 **Surrender:** What the hell do you mean?

 **SuperNova:** You don't get it, do you, you humongous idiot

 **Surrender:** No, I don't, just spit it out already you daft old badger

 **FutureCorpsman:** What has been the main focus of the 'Avengers' discussions

 **Surrender:** Their home lives, homework and... us... as... a group

 **SuperNova:** So you basically posted more info about us TO THE WHOLE DAMN SCHOOL! NOW EVERYONE KNOWS THAT WE'RE PROBABLY ON THE STUDENT COUNCIL, POSTING THE SHIPS WILL GET SO MUCH HARDER!

 **Surrender:** Sorry, sorry, sorry!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, no duh, now everybody knows stuff about us!

 **Surrender:** Aw, crap! This means that everyone knows that Peter and his friends know, so teachers could suspend them, or people could bully them...

 **Deadpool:** You did not think this through, did you?

 **Surrender:** It was in the heat of battle!

 **SuperNova:** That's not a legitimate reason for it

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, I know

 **SuperNova:** So now, do you realize... HOW IMMENSELY FUCKED WE ARE?!

 **Surrender:** I get it... sheesh

 **SuperNova:** Don't 'sheesh' me young man, you're the one that acted without thinking of the goddamn consequences

 **Deadpool:** When will you learn, when will you learn THat YoU'Re aCTiONs HavE cONSeqUEnCEs

 **Surrender:** Ha, nice.

 **SuperNova:** Am I surrounded by basic five year olds?

 **Surrender:** Pretty much, I don't know what else you were expecting.

 **SuperNova:** You have lost the right to speak because you were a goddamn idiot

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan, come on, is this really necesarry?

 **SuperNova:** Are you gonna try to stop me? I hope not

 **Deadpool:** You know, we get it, old-turd-for-brains over here fucked up, bigtime, but we gotta move the story along here so forgive and forget

 **SuperNova:** I'm beggining to think you need psychiatric help

 **Deadpool:** Over my severed head!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, I think that might be a sign of crying for help

 **Deadpool:** Whatever! Anyways, Kraglin, don't you have something important to tell them

 **Surrender:** What do you mean? I don't rem-

 **Deadpool:** The thing, with the dude, that's kind of important

 **Surrender:** Oh yes, that thing. I would like you all to meet someone

 **SuperNova:** Oh great, another new person, I hope this one isn't insane

 **Deadpool:** Sanity is very subjective

 **FutureCorpsman:** No, no it's not

 **Surrender:** Guys! Pay attention when I'm speaking to you, I swear, none of you have any semblance of manners.

 **SuperNova:** Get to the point

 **Surrender:** Whatever, I'll just add him, you guys ruined my groove

 **Deadpool:** Throw him outta the building!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Please, get yourself a psychiatrist

 **Surrender** added **AntMan** to **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** I introduce to you... Scott Lang!

 **SuperNova:** Oh, I already know him

 **FutureCorpsman:** Me too

 **Deadpool:** I'm required to know for plot purposes

 **Surrender:** Ignoring Wade, per usual, how do you guys know him?

 **AntMan:** Did they not tell you, man, I have some great stories to tell, so this one ti-

 **SuperNova:** One sentence, Scott. Just one.

 **AntMan:** Fine, you buzzkill, anywho, I do information work for these two, I'm surprisingly good at it. I could chat up anybody if I really wanted to, it's a natural gift-

 **SuperNova:** I said one. ONE!

 **Surrender:** Wait, so you guys have ACTUALLY been using informants?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Uh... yes?

 **SuperNova:** Totally

 **Deadpool:** Let's go with that

 **Surrender:** And none of you told me?

 **FutureCorpsman:** How do you think we find our information? Garthan and I have to study a lot, so we pay some informants in the school to tell us some things, and we only use them if we have no time

 **SuperNova:** If we didn't use them, we'd be failing our classes trying to find out information about people.

 **Surrender:** And none of you were ever going to tell me about this?

 **FutureCorpsman:** In all honesty, we didn't think it was a big deal. You know what happens when we get stressed about grades, do you want another pre-calc incident?

 **Deadpool:** No one wants that

 **Surrender:** I suppose you're right, for now at least.

 **SuperNova:** But why did you add Lang to this chat?

 **Surrender:** Because he has a lot of classes with the 'Avengers' and he sits at a table next to them for lunch, he overhears a lot of things that could be very very useful to us in our battle against them

 **Deadpool:** I thought it was a war?

 **SuperNova:** It's slowly turning into that

 **AntMan:** So... can I go?

 **Surrender:** Sure, I don't see why not

 **Deadpool:** Wait! I have a real quick question.

 **AntMan:** What is it?

 **Deadpool:** Why AntMan?

 **AntMan:** Huh?

 **Deadpool:** Of all the names you could have chosen, you chose 'Antman'? Why?

 **AntMan:** Well one time my budy Luis-

 **SuperNova:** To make a long -- and very convoluted -- story short, his buddy said 'Damn, you're like, such an ant, man' so then 'Antman'

 **AntMan:** Aww, buzzkill

 **SuperNova:** I prefer the word, 'professional'

 **Surrender:** I think buzzkill suits you perfectly

 **SuperNova:** Goodbye, lunch is almost over so bye

 **Surrender:** Whatever, see you all later for a gameplan

 **Deadpool:** Wooo!

 **AntMan:** Down with the Starks!

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	13. Tony needs a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO, sorry I missed a chapter yesterday, I passed out at like, 10:30, (I know, weak) and then I woke up at 5 am. Which was fun, I guess, BECauSE TimE tO Go tO SumMeR ScHOOl. Anyways, I'm not gonna add the key because y'all should know who they are by now, but if there's a new person I'll tell you who they are. Bye

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Is anybody else suspicious?

 **SmokeWeed:** I'm suspicious of everything, so you're gonna have to clarify 

**BirbyBow:** You're such a paranoid person, just go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist already

 **RedMagic:** What's the difference?

 **MightyShield:** Well, a psychiatrist is licensed to give patients medication while a psychologist isn't

 **RedMagic:** Nice to know

 **SmokeWeed:** How do you know that?

 **MightyShield:** I've been thinking of becoming a psychologist lately, so I've been researching different branches of it

 **BadAssSpiders:** I thought you were going to join the army?

 **MightyShield:** That's still an option, I could just do ROTC

 **WarMachine:** Yeah, that's a viable option, and a great way to avoid too much expense

 **Mindroid:** ROTC? I'm not sure I'm familiar with the term?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** In stands for Reserve Officer Training Core and it's where the military pays for part of your education and then you go join them for a few years

 **RedMagic:** Oh yes, I've heard of this, it's interesting, isn't it?

 **Mindroid:** I think that would be very good for you Mr. Rogers

 **BirbyBow:** Ha

 **Mindroid:** What was so funny about that sentence?

 **BirbyBow:** I can't be the only one that thought of Mr. Rogers neighborhood

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Dude, I think you are

 **IronBoi:** CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC?!

 **WarMachine:** No need to get so harsh Tony, it's not a big deal

 **SpideyDude:** So what are you 'suspicous' about?

 **IronBoi:** It's been an entire day and the SSS hasn't put anything on the board

 **SmokeWeed:** ...that's what you're worried about? Not classes, or tests, or other kids but... the SSS? Again?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You know there's more to life than just them, right?

 **IronBoi:** What are you talking about?

 **RedMagic:** Stark's gone off the deep end

 **SpiceBabe:** Do you know what he needs, Natasha?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh no, I certainly don't. (;

 **SpiceBabe:** Tony needs a date!

 **IronBoi:** I'm sorry, what? Dating? Me and dates, dates and I? We don't go well together, like, at all.

 **SpiceBabe:** Why are you obsessing over SSS?

 **IronBoi:** Because they humiliated me by pairing me with people

 **SpiceBabe:** And why did that humiliate you?

 **IronBoi:** Because they pretend like they know better than me like they know who I am like they know who I'm interested in and like they know what my sexuality is!

 **SpiceBabe:** And isn't that precisely why you should find someone?

 **IronBoi:** And how did you get that?

 **SpiceBabe:** To prove them wrong, they don't know who's best for you, only YOU know that. So prove them wrong, find someone to date

 **SpideyDude:** Dude, you'd be, like, the best therapist

 **SpiceBabe:** Thank you, I try my best

 **SmokeWeed:** When you try your best, but you don't succeed

 **BirbyBow:** IT'S AN OLD MEME, LET IT DIE BRUCE! LET IT DIE!!

 **SmokeWeed:** dab on them haters

 **BirbyBow:** There are... no words... to express, how... disappointed, disturbed and distressed I feel right now

 **SmokeWeed:** Cash me ousside, how bou dat?

 **BirbyBow:** That's it, I want death. Satan! TAKE MY SOUL!

 **IronBoi:** You called?

 **BirbyBow:** LMAOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **SmokeWeed:** We all die, you either kill yourself, or get killed

 **BirbyBow:** STAHP

 **SmokeWeed:** Watcha gon' do, watcha gon' do

 **SpideyDude:** Watcha gon' do when they come for you, bad boy, bad boy

 **ThunderMan** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **ThunderMan:** I do believe he was trying to finish the rest of the vine, but I suppose the song works too

 **IronBoi:** Oh shit, Point Break, I forgot you existed

 **ThunderMan:** Alas Stark, you can no longer call me point break

 **IronBoi:** And why not?

 **ThunderMan:** Because I got my hair cut

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** No way, you gotta be kidding me

 **ThunderMan:** I kid you not, my brother... put gum and glue in my hair yesterday night so I had to almost buzz it all off

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm sorry, you're brother did WHAT?!

 **ThunderMan:** He put gum and glue in my hair yesterday night, I thought I was clear on thsi

 **BadAssSpiders:** Sorry, I'm just surprised that he...

 **SpideyDude:** That he's still alive, I heard you were, like, SUPER protective of your hair

 **ThunderMan:** That's because I also got him good

 **RedMagic:** I'm kind of concerned

 **Mindroid:** As am I, what did you do?

 **ThunderMan:** Well I may or may not have sold his knife collection online afterwards

 **IronBoi:** You sold your demonic brother's knife collection? Those are his prized possessions!

 **ThunderMan:** And you know what my prized possession was?

 **SpideyDude:** What?

 **ThunderMan:** My hair! And he ruined it, I've been growing it for years!

 **ThunderMan:** Besides, I'll get him back his set once he's apologized

 **IronBoi:** ...are you gonna tell him that?

 **ThunderMan:** No

 **MightyShield:** Then he's never going to apologize

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Not unless there's something in it for him

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, your brother is really petty that way

 **ThunderMan:** That's the point unless he takes responsibility and makes amends, I'm not giving it back!

 **SpiceBabe:** You and your brother are rather petty with each other, don't you think?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Have you ever seen them together? It's not good

 **SpiceBabe:** Interesting...

 **IronBoi:** Don't think about it, leave them alone

 **SpiceBabe:** You can't tell me what to do

 **IronBoi:** I can't, but I can certainly try

 **SmokeWeed:** Two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet-

 **BirbyBow:** Go. Go burn in hell, because there has to be a special place there for abusing dead, rotting, and basic memes/vines

 **SmokeWeed:** You need a xanax

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** CLint... just stop, you're not going to win against Bruce, you know that

 **BirbyBow:** Doesn't mean I can't try

 **IronBoi:** Ahh, I love this GC

 **SpideyDude:** So, Mr. Stark, are you gonna ask anyone out?

 **IronBoi:** I-I don't know, I don't know who I like and... it seems odd

 **WarMachine:** It's okay man, you don't have to take her adviec

 **BadAssSpiders:** You probably should, it'd work for you

 **IronBoi:** Shut up, I know who YOU have a crush on

 **BadAssSpiders:** Stark, can it, unless you want everyone to find your corpse hanging from the flagpole

 **RedMagic:** Nat, that's a little much

 **IronBoi:** Nah, it's cool, I just threatened her with the one piece of information she would never want to be revealed 

**Mindroid:** And in that case... it is ok to threaten? The rules of friends and being social is odd

 **IronBoi:** Welcome to real life!

 **BirbyBow:** Fuck you, I'm still, like, 90% sure this is all a dream and when I wake up I'll be a millionare

 **IronBoi:** Please, the only millionaires/billionaires here are Thor and I

 **ThunderMan:** That is very true, friend Stark

 **RedMagic:** You're forgetting Rhodey

 **IronBoi:** Aw, that's right. Rhodes, doesn't your family own a company that's partnered with mine?

 **WarMachine:** Of course, how could you forget?

 **IronBoi:** Sorry, wasn't entirely my fault, your company is just forgettable

 **WarMachine:** First of all, it definitely is your fault, second of all, take it back

 **IronBoi:** Geez, okay, I'll take it back, just calm down

 **WarMachine:** I'm waiting

 **IronBoi:** I'm sorry for calling your company forgettable, it's just... nondescript

 **WarMachine:** Screw you, Tones 

**IronBoi:** Love you, platypus!

 **WarMachine:** Why am I friends with you?

 **IronBoi:** Because I'm super fun and we've been friends since we were babies

 **WarMachine:** I hate that it's true

 **IronBoi:** Crap, gotta go, see you guys later!

 **SpideyDude:** Bye!

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, that was fun, it's like, 2:30 in the morning but I hope you enjoy it. Comment and Kudos because I love off of them, they feed my soul. SO GIVE ME 'EM. Bye. (;


	14. Screw Season 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there will be little to no plot in this one, just me ranting about fucking SEASON 6 OF VOLTRON SO THERE'S A GODDAMN SPOILER WARNING RIGHT HERE FOR YOU BECAUSE I AM MAD!
> 
> AntMan- Scott

**SuperNova** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

**SuperNova:** Fuck Voltron season 6, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it

**Surrender:** You watched Voltron season 6, I presume?

**FutureCorpsman:** Wait, you watched season 6? When did you have time for that?

**SuperNova:** I sacrificed sleep, the most important thing I have, to watch this goddamn bullshit

**FutureCorpsman:** It wasn't that bad, it was pretty good

**Surrender:** Not unless your favorite character was...

**SuperNova:** Lotor! Just... screw season 6!

**Deadpool:** You liked that bag of wiggly dicks? You got some issues then

**SuperNova:** He was a complex character!

**Deadpool:** He was a space prince with daddy issues, those are extremely popular. There's Vegeta, Lotor... Lok-, actually I can't really talk about him ever since Infinity War.... and he's still alive here

**AntMan:** What's Infinity War?

**Deadpool:** You wouldn't know, you weren't even there for it

**AntMan:** What?

**Surrender:** Nevermind him, he get's weird sometimes, but... Garthan, you okay?

**SuperNova:** What kind of question is that? Of course, I'm not okay, my favorite character went batshit crazy!

**Surrender:** Stupid question, I know

**SuperNova:** I'm so pissed, I don't even know what to do right now, that season just... wrecked my shit, that's what it did

**Surrender:** Garthan, you'll be okay

**SuperNova:** No. No, I won't. I'm so mad and sad at the same time I don't know what to do

**Surrender:** Rant on Tumblr?

**SuperNova:** You think I have Tumblr, what the hell would I do on it?

**Deadpool:** Rant, like everybody else on there

**FutureCorpsman:** I mean... you're not wrong

**Surrender:** Look at fanart and cool theories?

**Deadpool:** Don't listen to him, that place is fucked over like a dog in heat

**AntMan:** You are EXTREMELY vulgar

**Deadpool:** Suck a cock

**AntMAN:** I was right

**Deadpool:** Didn't say you weren't, just said suck a cock

**Surrender:** You've got issues man

**Deadpool:** You know I do

**FutureCorpsman:** Garthan, if I had to recommend a fandom site that wasn't going into deep shit, it would be Amino

**AntMan:** Isn't that an app?

**FutureCorpsman:** Screw off

**Deadpool:** Language

**Surrender:** Isn't that what-

**Deadpool:** Captain America says? It's a cheap shot, I know it, you know it, but it's fucking funny

**SuperNova:** I'm just...

**Deadpool:** Oh, Colossus says it too, he's just not as famous for it

**AntMan:** Colossus? Who the hell's that?

**Deadpool:** Time for expositioning then! I currently live in a group home,

**Surrender:** Same, though

**Deadpool:** Didn't ask for your goddamn input, did I? Anyhoo, I live there with other fucked up kids there's, Logan (Wolverine), Jean and Cyclops, Rogue and tons of other fucking people, I don't know all their names. They call themselves the X-Men -- freaking weirdos -- and the only semi-decent people there are Negasonic Teenage Warhead, (Negasonic for short) and this kid named Colossus

**Deadpool:** And the guy who runs it is this old dude named Professor Xavier, the rest of the kiddies call him Professor X, like that's any better? Whatever. Negasonic is super moody though and Colossus is only useful if you need a pep talk. Which is never useful

**AntMan:** Well...

**Deadpool:** Never.

**Surrender:** Yeah, I live with Peter, Rocket, Groot and this new kid named Mantis. She's pretty freaky though, she'll take one look at you and can tell what you're feeling, but she doesn't know shit about socializing outside of our group. Our foster dad is this guy named Yondu, he's okay as long as you don't wreck his shit or fight.

**AntMan:** I just live with my mom, that's it. Nothing special

**SuperNova:** And suddenly I feel singled out

**FutureCorpsman:** Same

**SuperNova:** I'm still super fucking pissed and sad about season 6. Screw season 6!

**Deadpool:** Bitch, please. At least you didn't see Green Lantern with Ryan Reynolds, that was a nightmare, or Infinity War, not that's suffering

**FutureCorpsman:** Again, what. Is. Infity. War.

**Deadpool:** The death of thousands of souls my friend, the death of souls

**Surrender:** And now I'm feeling disturbed

**Deadpool:** As you should

**AntMan:** Are you okay, man? Like, are you sure you're fine?

**Deadpool:** What kind of stupid-ass question is that? Of course, I'm not okay! Have you read anything I wrote, it's so melodramatic. It sounds like something straight out of Riverdale

**FutureCorpsman:** Don't trash it, it's a good show!

**Deadpool:** No, no it's not. Don't kid yourself, the first season was decent then it jumped off a fucking cliff

**Surrender:** Oh shush, leave Rhomann and his trashy shows alone

**FutureCorpsman:** Fuck you

**SuperNova:** You know what I say about curse words, if you have time-

**FutureCorpsman:** You hypocrite, did you not see anything you wrote? You were cursing!

**SuperNova:** Yes, but I did it for a reason.

**FutureCorpsman:** And that reason was?

**SuperNova:** Season 6 was bullshit

**Surrender:** Calm down, we get it, you liked Lotor and you liked Lotura

**FutureCorpsman:** You got a Lotura kiss, that's good, right?

**SuperNova:** BUT IT WAS AFTER WE FOUND OUT HE WAS EVIL!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT?!

**Deadpool:** He just turned into 80's Lotor

**SuperNova:** STOP. STOP. STOP.

**Surrender:** Well, in that last fight, his face and eyes... did look a lot like the 80's version of him, who's creepy and rapey as hell

**Deadpool:** Yeah, it was fucking weird

**SuperNova:** STOP MAKING ME WANT TO CRY

**FutureCorpsman:** You're fault for liking the space prince with daddy issues

**Deadpool:** Except for the rare few, they usually go back to being evil

**SuperNova:** What about Vegeta!

**Deadpool:** Majin Vegeta, remember?

**SuperNova:** Shit

**AntMan:** But then he turns good after sacrificing himself

**Deadpool:** Yeah, kind of like Lok-, oh shit, not supposed to talk about him... anyways... yeah, Lotor's evil now, deal with it

**SuperNova:** I feel like I need some bottle rockets, anyone else with me?

**FutureCorpsman:** OH SHIT HE'S GOING FOR THE BOTTLE ROCKETS, KRAGLIN STOP HIM BEFORE HE KILLS SOMETHING!!!!!

**Surrender:** Garthan, you're fine, it's just a show, there's no need for another pre-calc incident

**SuperNova:** Screw you, I'm getting a lighter

**AntMan:** I don't know what happened before, but this certainly ain't good

**FutureCorpsman:** He blows up shit when emotions get too hard, it's a problem

**SuperNova:** It's only a problem if it makes you feel bad, but this makes me feel great!

**Surrender:** Shit, Rhomann, get to his house before he lights something on fire!

**FutureCorpsman:** Right near his backyard, I see him! With a... a... Voltron Pinata?

**Surrender:** He wouldn't...

**Deadpool:** He probably would

**AntMan:** You guys better get some video

**Deadpool:** I am, I've been here for five minutes, this shit's gonna be great!

**Surrender:** And you're doing nothing?

**Deadpool:** I'm not doing nothing, I'm eating popcorn

**Surrender:** For fuck's sake

**FutureCorpsman:** Guys! He just shoved a bottle rocket up the Voltron Pinata's ass, cackled maniacally and then got his lighter should I stop him?!

**Surrender:** YES!

**Deadpool:** No

**AntMan:** NO

**FutureCorpsman:** Screw it, I'm going in

**Surrender:** Did he light it?!

**Deadpool:** Yes he did, Rhomann got there a second too late and the pinata was up in the air and then BOOM! Scott, sending you the video now

**AntMan:** Cool! Can't wait to show Maggie

**Surrender:** Maggie?

**AntMan:** Yeah, Maggie, my girlfriend

**Surrender:** Ooo, is she 'the one'

**AntMan:** Oh, can it. I don't know about the future, I'm not sure if I'm ready for thinking about kids and stuff

**Deadpool:** Might need to start getting ready for that then, it's gonna happen sooner than you think

**AntMan:** What?

**Deadpool:** Oh nothing

**FutureCorpsman:** Okay, we dodged the flaming tootsie rolls and Garthan is calm now

**SuperNova:** I blew up my brothers pinata, I need a new one for his birthday

**AntMan:** Dude, I'll buy it, that video of you blowing up Voltron will bring me endless entertainment, the least I can do is buy you a replacement

**SuperNova:** I'm... gonna go sleep, we'll deal with everything else later

**FutureCorpsman:** Bye!

**SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Surrender:** Yeah, I should probably go, bye guys!

**AntMan:** Later

**Deadpool:** See ya, moron

**FutureCorpsman:** Bye!

**Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	15. Hi, welcome to our school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about freaking out the last chapter, I did not happen to enjoy what happened to my precious boy Lotor in season 6 of Voltron, at all. So... I used the chapter for that, fun fact, it was my longest chapter. Anyways, I need to introduce some more characters, so this one has Steve, T'Challa, Shuri and Strange. Here are the new chat names, enjoy.
> 
> Prince- T'Challa
> 
> DeadMemes- Shuri
> 
> DrStrange- Strange

**MightyShield** created **New Students**

 **MightyShield** added **Prince, DeadMemes, and DrStrange** to **New Students**

 **MightyShield:** Hi welcome to our school, as your student ambassador I wanted to introduce you to our prestigious school, and I figured the best way to do that would be through group chat, it'd be an easy way to communicate

 **DeadMemes:** Yassss

 **DrStrange:** Oh good grief, we have a memer

 **Prince:** That she most definitely is

 **DeadMemes:** Leave me alone, it's my way of getting over culture shock

 **Prince:** It's been rough

 **MightyShield:** Oh I get it, social standards for our type of society are really weird and-

 **Prince:** Not that, the amount of 'memes' and 'vines' she references, what is she talking about? How can she quote a vine, they are a plant!

 **DrStrange:** Oh, you poor sweet child, Vine is the name of a social media platform that produced some of the most horrendous trends you see today in our society, like 'what are those' or 'yeet'

 **MightyShield:** Oh come on, they weren't that bad

 **DrStrange:** What about dab on them haters?

 **MightyShield:** Ok, that was just trash

 **DrStrange:** My point has been made for vine

 **Prince:** So Vine... is not a good thing then?

 **DrStrange:** Yes

 **DeadMemes:** NOO

 **MightyShield:** Can we just agree that Vine is a subjective thing?

 **DrStrange:** Whatever

 **DeadMemes:** I'm going to say yes even though I know I'm right

 **Prince:** I still have questions, but okay

 **MightyShield:** Ok good, now do you guys have any questions about the school?

 **Prince:** Yes, this school is a very expensive private academy, but there are many... normal students here, could you explain?

 **MightyShield:** You see, we started doing this thing where we're trying to integrate normal students here to get the richer kids to adapt to society, most of them are here because of academics or they know they know the principal, Mr. Fury

 **Prince:** Thank you for explaining that, I was very confused

 **DeadMemes:** lol

 **DrStrange:** No, I am not dealing with 'lol', please, stop

 **DeadMemes:** Get rekt, boi

 **DrStrange:** This is very unprofessional, stop it now

 **DeadMemes:** GET DUNKED ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 **DrStrange:** I draw the goddamn line at Undertale, check yourself. NOW!

 **MightyShield:** Oh my goodness, she's basically a clone of Bruce, just with... way more dead memes

 **Prince:** ...Bruce? Who is this 'Bruce'?

 **MightyShield:** Oh, he's one of my friends. He's... an interesting person to say the least.

 **DrStrange:** Is this the same Bruce that's famous for taking all of the AP Sciences along with Tony Stark? And pushing that one kid into a pile of food last year?

 **MightyShield:** I did say he was an intersting person

 **DeadMemes:** Very interesting indeed

 **Prince:** No, sister, what are you planning?

 **DeadMemes:** Nothing too bad, brother, I promise

 **Prince:** I don't believe you

 **DeadMemes:** In all honesty, you really shouldn't

 **DrStrange:** Wait, Steve, aren't you one of the kids who got in on good grades?

 **DeadMemes:** Wait, really?

 **MightyShield:** Oh... yeah, I did.

 **Prince:** Interesting...

 **DrStrange:** Actually, I have another question... could you explain the groups and social food chain?

 **MightyShield:** Oh! That I can do. So, there's really no 'food chain', although the SSS would be at the top if there was a food chain

 **Prince:** The... SSS? What does that mean?

 **MightyShield:** Once I explain everything, you'll get it

 **DrStrange:** From what I know, just don't mess with them

 **MightyShield:** Can I continue now?

 **DrStrange:** Oh yes, by all means, please do

 **MightyShield:** Alright then, so there's many groups because we have about 200-300 students in the whole school

 **DeadMemes:** Really? Don't most American highschools have about 2000 students?

 **MightyShield:** We're... a little bit different than other schools

 **Prince:** We all can tell

 **DeadMemes:** Shush, brother, don't be so rude

 **Prince:** It's not being rude if it's just an observation

 **DeadMemes:** Rude is rude, my dude

 **DrStrange:** Please.... stop, I beg you, stop

 **MightyShield:** I swear.... anyways, I'll continue now

 **DeadMemes:** Oh right, we keep interrupting you, sorry

 **MightyShield:** It's not that big of a deal, really, just... can I continue?

 **DrStrange:** Please do, this is getting rather boring

 **MightyShield:** Smart Aleck. Anyways... the main ones are Tony's group, Irani's group, Peter's group, the SSS, and the rest are little groups that have yet to do anything... what's the word...

 **Prince:** Noticeable?

 **DeadMemes:** Lit?

 **DrStrange:** Interesting?

 **MightyShield:** Idiotic and chaotic, that's what I'm looking for...

 **DrStrange:** First of all, I think you meant words then, you know, words, plural

 **Prince:** The next point we want explained is this, what do you mean 'idiotic and chaotic'

 **MightyShield:** The most famous and 'powerful' groups are the ones who do the stupidest things. That's how things work here, for instance, Tony's group -- which does include me, sadly -- is most known for the great Cafe fight of 2016. Loki Odinson challenged us to a food battle, the lunch staff didn't care, the rest of the students gave us their food because they wanted entertainment, and after that... it was chaos.

 **DeadMemes:** Who won?

 **MightyShield:** We did. Loki was a tough opponent to beat, we were just lucky that we had Bruce and Thor on our team, Loki somehow got these kids from other schools to come in and help him, which was really crazy. It was so weird. But we eventually got the upper hand because of Thor's athletic ability and Bruce/Tony's strategic plans. We ended up defeating him

 **Prince:** And this is... allowed?

 **MightyShield:** I mean, we all got detention for the rest of the school year and we had to pay fines, but that was it

 **DrStrange:** Normally you'd get expelled for doing something like that

 **MightyShield:** And have Marvel's School for Excelling Students risk their reputation? They wouldn't do such a thing

 **DeadMemes:** Are you gonna tell us what the other groups did?

 **MightyShield:** I... I'm not going to tell you about Irani's chaotic moment, that would get me killed, but her group consists of the best students, she wants them to go into her family company, Nova Corporations. You'll find family business causes a lot of chaos here, my group doesn't get along with them because of Tony Stark and Stark Industries

 **Prince:** And Peter and his friends?

 **MightyShield:** They hated each other until they were all put into detention, but they staged a revolt and stole a golf cart and decided to joyride through the school's hallways. It was... interesting.

 **DrStrange:** And what is this... SSS?

 **MightyShield:** Have you noticed the stuff on the board every morning? The notes about people and stuff?

 **DrStrange:** Yes, we all have, your group chats were on there recently, weren't they?

 **MightyShield:** Yes... and we do have to say it's kind of concerning. There was some personal information on there about some of us, and they put it on there. They are not people to be trifled with, they know things that nobody normal could know.

 **DeadMemes:** They sound kind of scary, what does SSS mean?

 **MightyShield:** Secret Shipping Society

 **DeadMemes:** I'm sorry, shipping? Shipping? That's what you're so afraid of? Shippers? I mean, I can't blame you because there are some rabid ones out there, like-

 **MightyShield:** They're not scary because they're shippers, they're scary because they've never once been caught in three years and they seem to have a vast network of informants and information

 **DrStrange:** So they're not people you want to be enemies with?

 **MightyShield:** Exactly

 **DrStrange:** But... Tony Stark made enemies with them because?

 **MightyShield:** He can get a bit... impulsive at times, he's truly a good person, he just doesn't always think things through

 **DrStrange:** Sounds fun

 **MightyShield:** It can be a bit of a handful actually

 **DrStrange:** You do know what Sarcasm is, don't you?

 **MightyShield:** Sorry, I'm just tired

 **DeadMemes:** Then go nap! I'm bored anyways, bye

 **Prince:** We shall converse later 

**MightyShield:** Bye, then

 **MightyShield** has left **New Students**


	16. We're all going to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another GOTG chapter, enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost my internet for a little bit, sorry there. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter because I'M NOT ENJOYING SUMMER SCHOOL. FUCK THAT BULLSHIT. The only thing that helps is looking at STREET SMARTS on Tumblr because it's so entwined with IW that it's concerning and beautiful at the same time.

**StarMunch** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **StarMunch:** That's it, we're all going to hell

 **TrashPanda:** What else is new?

 **StarMunch:** Fuck off you raccoon

 **HappyLittleTree:** y u do dat 2 rocket he not be mean 2 u

 **StarMunch:** I'm just a little peeved at the OBVIOUS WAR BREWING BETWEEN GROUPS AT OUR SCHOOL!!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Peter, you're overreacting, it's not that bad

 **StarMunch:** Not that bad? Not that bad?! SSS hasn't posted anything for a week now, that's kind of very concerning. On a scale from one to OMFG THE WORLD IS ENDING, I place this at a solid 9.5

 **IAmInvisible:** Kraglin and his friends not posting anything doesn't equate to the world being destroyed. I don't understand how you could confuse those two

 **Surrender:** Your poor sweet girlfriend, how much she must have to put up with

 **IAmInvisible:** You mean Hovat? What does this have to do with her?

 **Surrender:** I'm not even going to try and explain this one

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, it'd get too complicated too quickly

 **StarMunch:** Oh my god, Kraglin, I was so worried when you guys didn't post any ships, what's up with that?

 **Surrender:** Ever since I, a moron, posted the 'Avengers' group chats it's become difficult to get ships up there, the school upped their security.

 **HappyLittleTree:** is dat why peter is worried

 **StarMunch:** Oh thank god, it's nothing terrible

 **Surrender:** Yeah, we've been laying low, hoping the 'Avengers' will forget enough that we can start posting again

 **TrashPanda:** Wait, don't tell me the rumors were true...

 **Surrender:** What rumors?

 **IAmInvisible:** Yeah, what rumors? I haven't heard anything

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Drax... you're too nice to listen to rumors

 **TrashPanda:** And too much of an idiot

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Rocket!

 **TrashPanda:** What?

 **HappyLittleTree:** dat was mean

 **TrashPanda:** Like I care

 **Surrender:** Oh my god, who gives a shit? Just tell me what people are fucking saying, alright?

 **TrashPanda:** Calm down before you bust a nut

 **Surrender:** Go fuck yourself

 **TrashPanda:** Go fuck a stapler

 **Surrender:** Go fuck a porcupine!

 **TrashPanda:** Go fuck a bag of doritos!

 **Surrender:** Go fuck a cactus!

 **TrashPanda:** Go fuck a calculator!

 **Surrender:** Go fuck a febreeze bottle!

 **TrashPanda:** Go fuck a Twilight book!

 **Surrender:** That's just taking it too far!

 **TrashPanda:** Ha! I win!

 **Surrender:** Won what? Making a person cringe so hard that they had to stop an argument? That's something to be ashamed of

 **TrashPanda:** At least I didn't do, 'dab on them haters'

 **StarMunch:** That's true, it didn't go that far

 **Surrender:** Whatever, just tell me what people are saying

 **TrashPanda:** Apparently, Tony scared you guys into hiding and now you're too scared to post anything anymore

 **Surrender:** I'm sorry, WHAT?!

 **TrashPanda:** It's what everybody's saying, and from what you told me, it's not wrong

 **Surrender:** Oh it's wrong, very fucking wrong, I'll show you

 **TrashPanda:** Good luck

 **Surrender:** FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH

 **TrashPanda:** 'Cause we what you do

 **StarMunch:** And we hate your whole crew

 **IAmInvisible:** So please don't say in touch

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Fuck you, fuck you very very much

 **Surrender:** I would be so mad right now if that wasn't so well executed

 **HappyLittleTree:** fuck u

 **Surrender:** Alright, now I'm pissed again

 **TrashPanda:** Aww Groot, you ruined it

 **Surrender:** The 6-year-old is saying 'fuck you' and that's all you're concerned about? You are a disturbing person

 **TrashPanda:** Isn't that common knowledge?

 **StarMunch:** The most well-known fact of all time

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Every child learns it when they're old enough to read

 **IAmInvisible:** I don't get it

 **TrashPanda:** Ok buddy, ok

 **StarMunch:** Agg, fucking chemistry, Gams do you know the homework?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Yes, I do. But I'm not giving it to you

 **StarMunch:** What? WHY???

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Because you need to learn to do things on your own

 **StarMunch:** What? No way, come on. PLEAAASSSEEEEEEEE!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Take your own notes and remember your homework from now on because I am NOT going to help you

 **StarMunch:** Okay, is it wrong that what she said turned me on

 **Surrender:** A little bit, yeah

 **TrashPanda:** You got issues, Quill

 **IAmInvisible:** I thought that was already apparent

 **StarMunch:** Your so fucking funny, haha, laugh it up assholes

 **TrashPanda:** Hey, you were the one that admitted that shit, this is your own fault

 **StarMunch:** Screw off, Raccoon boy

 **TrashPanda:** Raccoons are the best animals and you know it, shithead

 **StarMunch:** Oh stuff it, animals aren't that great

 **TrashPanda:** Not all of them, yeah, but Raccoons are the very best. Better than the rest, so go fuck yourself

 **StarMunch:** I will, gladly I might add

 **HappyLittleTree:** GROSS 

**Surrender:** Not on my christian minecraft server!

 **IAmInvisble:** What does minecraft have to do with Quill pleasuring himself?

 **Surrender:** First of all, I hate everything about that sentence, secondly, it was a meme Drax. A meme

 **IAmInvisible:** Oh, I understand then

 **TrashPanda:** Don't lie, you don't understand

 **IAmInvisible:** Was it that obvious?

 **TrashPanda:** Name one meme, ONE meme, that isn't dead

 **IAmInvisible:** #DicksOutForHarambe

 **Surrender:** Unbelievable.... un-FUCKING-believable

 **TrashPanda:** That was disappointing, on so many levels

 **IAmInvisble:** Really? It was that bad?

 **Surrender:** That was so bad that you're now destined for the special place in hell where you will burn for all eternity along with Bruce Banner, Jake Paul and Donald Trump

 **IAmInvisible:** No, please! I'll do anything!

 **TrashPanda:** That was a joke, a joke

 **StarMunch:** Are you sure about that? I mean, are you REALLY sure about that?

 **TrashPanda:** Go do your homework, Quill

 **StarMunch:** Fine, I get it

 **TrashPanda:** Goodbye Quill, better do your goddamn homework

 **StarMunch:** No screw that, I'm gonna watch John Mulaney's Kid Gorgeous special for the 5th time

 **TrashPanda:** I'm gonna go into your room and beat your ass!

 **Surrender:** Quick, use your STREET SMARTS

 **StarMunch:** I gotta throw him off his rhythm

 **TrashPanda:** Okay, WTF Quill?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Okay, I kind of hate having to be the one to ask this, but what is he doing?

 **TrashPanda:** He's laying on his back and kicking up at me, trying to, and I quote here 'throw me off my rhythm'

 **TrashPanda:** HOLY ShIT He'S FoAMING AT THE MOUTH

 **Surrender:** STREET SMARTS, HE'S USED THE ALKA SELTZER

 **TrashPanda:** I am done now, I'm going to bed and going to sleep and hopefully never waking up to you dipshits ever again

 **HappyLittleTree:** no rocket come back, we luv u

 **TrashPanda:** Fine, I semi-hope I wake up. Semi. No more

 **StarMunch:** Yay, you left, and I didn't even have to use my moneyclip

 **Surrender:** STREET SMARTS

 **StarMunch:** STREET SMARTS

 **Surrender:** At least he didn't take you to a secondary location, that could've been really bad

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, did you see that video in YouTube of JJ Bittenbinder actually doing a Street Smarts presentation? It's pretty funny

 **Surrender:** All hail JJ Bittenbinder, the poor detective who has to deal with all these memes

 **TrashPanda:** I have no idea what this is but I hate it already

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I am pleasantly confused

 **IAmInvisible:** I stopped trying several minutes ago

 **StarMunch:** None of you have heard of Detective JJ Bittenbinder?

 **Surrender:** Or STREET SMARTS!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** No, no we have not

 **Surrender:** This actually wounds me, like, I am so distraught right now

 **StarMunch:** They don't know the dangers of secondary locations

 **Surrender:** How will they ever live in the real world now?

 **TrashPanda:** You all disgust me so much

 **HappyLittleTree:** dont be so mean Rocket, they just having fun

 **TrashPanda:** They're slowly killing me, that's not fun to me

 **Surrender:** Street smarts!

 **TrashPanda:** And there go the last 5 years of my already short life span, thanks a lot guys

 **Surrender:** Any time bud, any time

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Guys, it's late, shouldn't we all be going to bed now?

 **StarMunch:** Fine, love you babe

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Love you too, but do your own notes

 **StarMunch:** Fine

 **Surrender:** Later bitchlets

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**


	17. There's a special place in hell for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more of Steve and the new kids. That sounds like a really bad band.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna try and have this out the 26th, if not, 27th. Yay. Hope y'all like it because I like writing these. And summer school isn't that bad anymore, I met some new people and made some new friends. Pretty cool. I might join JROTC now and take Latin instead of German (THERE IS A LEGITIMATE REASON FOR ME WANTING TO DO THAT). Comment and kudos (so close to 100 kudos!) And here are the chat names!
> 
> Prince- T'Challa
> 
> DeadMemes- Shuri
> 
> DrStrange- Stephen Strange

**MightyShield** has entered **New Students**

 **MightyShield:** Hey guys, how's it going?

 **Prince:** It has been... an interesting couple of days, to say the least

 **DeadMemes:** It's been very lit

 **DrStrange:** There's a special place in hell for you

 **DeadMemes:** Get rekt son, I don't believe in Christianity

 **MightyShield:** Really?

 **Prince:** Do you happen have a problem with that?

 **MightyShield:** No, I'm just curious

 **DrStrange:** It was hyperbole, Shuri. Say it with me, HYPERBOLE

 **DeadMemes:** You know what would be great if you happened to remove the stick that's stuck up your ass, you rude person

 **Prince:** Sister, is it really wise to-

 **DeadMemes:** Fite me brother

 **Prince:** Whatever, do as you please, just don't blame me if you get expelled

 **MightyShield:** They probably wouldn't do that, maybe suspension or dentention

 **Prince:** Or what the good man said

 **DrStrange:** What good are dead memes and vines against cleverness and wit?

 **DeadMemes:** You ugly, you look like my foot, AHHHHHH, execute yourself

 **Prince:** Vines will not help you sister

 **DeadMemes:** MMmmm, oh my god, stop fuckin' lying!

 **DrStrange:** This is... getting way too out of hand, you're her brother why can't you do anything about this mess?

 **Prince:** She's... a very independent and free spirit

 **DrStrange:** She's stubborn as all hell?

 **Prince:** Yes, very much so

 **MightyShield:** That sounds great

 **Prince:** Very funny

 **DeadMemes:** Are you doing this here, right in front of my salad?

 **DrStrange:** I actually feel my sanity slowly dying, it's kind of concerning

 **Prince:** Don't worry, we all feel that way around her. You do get used to it after a while.

 **DrStrange:** Will I? Will I really? Or will I die first?

 **Prince:** It really could be either or

 **MightyShield:** Stephen, you will be fine. Absolutely fine, dead memes never killed anyone before

 **DrStrange:** You don't know that, they probably have

 **MightyShield:** If dead and rotting memes were actually deadly, a lot more people would be dead

 **DrStrange:** Maybe they're just slowly poisoning us until we go insane

 **MightyShield:** I think you're halfway there buddy

 **DrStrange:** Mourn me when I'm gone, be sad that the world will lose me because I am a brilliant light in a sea of darkness 

**DeadMemes:** ...*claps hands together* BOI

 **DrStrange:** Fite me THOT

 **Prince:** He's joined her in the meme war

 **MightyShield:** I'm afraid he's gone over to the dark side, nothing can save him now

 **DeadMemes:** Don't you mean the Skeleton War?

 **MightyShield:** No. No I don't.

 **DeadMemes:** Fight the fuckbois!

 **MightyShield:** I'm begging you, stop. Please. Before I die.

 **DeadMemes:** Guess you'll have to take it up with me after you die and are reborn as a skeleton soldier, sorry.

 **Prince:** Shuri, I will restrict your access to Tumblr.

 **DeadMemes:** You think I can't get past your flimsy firewalls? Think again, brother

 **Prince:** Alright, I'm of no use, sorry Rogers.

 **MightyShield:** Aggggg!

 **DrStrange:** Sorry about being gone, temporary insantiy, anyways I'm back

 **MightyShield:** Okay, then help me! She keeps talking about the skeleton war and I just want her to stop

 **DrStrange:** There's one thing I can think of that might work

 **MightyShield:** What? What is it?

 **DrStrange:** I don't want to have to do it

 **MightyShield:** JUST DO DO IT, PLEASE!

 **DrStrange:** Fine. If I must.

 **DrStrange:** Spooky scary skeletons

 **DeadMemes:** Send shivers up your spine 

**DrStrange:** Shrieking skulls will shock your soul

 **DeadMemes:** Seal your doom tonight, spooky scary, spooky scary, scary, scary, scary, scary

 **DeadMemes:** Damn you Strange! You got me to stop talking about memes

 **DrStrange:** Excuse me while I vomit because I hate this song with all of my soul, I'll get back to you after that

 **MightyShield:** That was... interesting. And odd.

 **Prince:** You see, he knew that she would be obsessed with 'memey' songs and he used a well-known one that she would get, Spooky Scary Skeletons the Remix. It's terrible but edgy tweens like it and so do 'dank meme lords', it's utter garbage if you ask me

 **MightyShield:** I haven't listend to it before, I might do so now

 **DrStrange:** Save yourself and don't listen to it, otherwise you WILL suffer for all eternity. It's so horrible but so easy to memorize.

 **MightyShield:** Like 'Baby, Baby, Oh' and 'Call me maybe'

 **DrStrange:** I'm honestly not sure which song is the worst one, they're all so terrible and disturbing and I hate them all.

 **Prince:** I prefer Justin Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen to Spooky Scary Skeletons

 **DrStrange:** The prince has spoken. His words are not to be trifled with under any circumstances

 **DeadMemes:** Bitch please

 **DrStrange:** Bitch please stop

 **Prince:** OOOOOooo

 **DeadMemes:** Well played, Strange, well played

 **DrStrange:** Why thank you, I am the very best of course

 **DeadMemes:** Maybe get that ego checked though, that level of self-inflation cannot be healthy, either you think too highly of yourself or it's a defense mechanism because you feel like a piece of trash on the inside

 **MightyShield:** Probably trash on fire

 **DrStrange:** Aren't you supposed to be the nice one?

 **MightyShield:** I stopped being nice about 2 dead memes ago

 **DrStrange:** Fair enough

 **DeadMemes:** Hey!

 **DrStrange:** Memes are a stupid, basic, thing to do and be invested in and you know it

 **DeadMemes:** At least I don't force people to call me 'Dr. Strange' like I'm some crappy superhero

 **DrStrange:** Excuse you, my name is a perfectly fine name to have, thank you very much, secondly, I got an early admission to Medical School so I am going to be a doctor.

 **DeadMemes:** Just cause you have early admission doesn't mean that you're going to become a doctor for certain, so it's stupid

 **DrStrange:** You are known for nothing else than dead memes, you're not one to talk about stupidity here

 **DeadMemes:** Is that supposed to mean something or are you just talking out of your ass per usual

 **MightyShield:** Guys it's getting a little heated in here, don't you think that we should calm down a bit, maybe drink some tea?

 **Prince:** Sister, this IS getting a little tense. Maybe you should tone it down a little bit.

 **DeadMemes:** I'll stop when I'm dead

 **MightyShield:** Maybe not when you're dead, maybe you should just stop right now so that way nobody gets hurt feelings and we walk away without any major drama? Huh? How does that sound?

 **DeadMemes:** Screw you

 **DrStrange:** Not your fight, Rogers

 **MightyShield:** Come on guys, why can't we get along? Please, can we get along?

 **Prince:** I'm afraid once my sister has made up her mind to do something she is unstoppable

 **DeadMemes:** Damn right

 **MightyShield:** And I can tell Strange isn't one to back down from a challenge

 **DrStrange:** Also a correct assumption

 **DeadMemes:** I'd hope so otherwise this would be a rather one sided battle

 **DrStrange:** How weak of you to think just a battle, no, this shall be a war

 **MightyShield:** Oh dear lord

 **Prince:** Oh, Bast, no

 **DeadMemes:** Calm down brother, I shall beat him within minutes, there's nothing to worry about, I will win

 **DrStrange:** I doubt that, obviously I'm the superior one here, with my wits and intelligence

 **DeadMemes:** Yes, but I know just how to distract you

 **DrStrange:** No...

 **DeadMemes:** yes....

 **DrStrange:** NO

 **DeadMemes:** YES! YEEEET! LIT! TRY ME BITCH! WHIP! NAYNAY!

 **DrStrange:** GAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Prince:** And he's down

 **MightyShield:** Yeah, Shuri wins

 **DeadMemes:** Wooo!

 **DrStrange:** I would like to point out that it wasn't specified how were fighting and she used dead memes that need to stay dead for all of eternity just to spite me

 **DeadMemes:** Not to spite you, but to win

 **Prince:** That is not helping your case

 **DeadMemes:** I still beat him so...

 **MightyShield:** Yes, you did. And what do you want from it?

 **DeadMemes:** Victory...

 **MightyShield:** And did you get it?

 **DeadMemes:** Yes...

 **MightyShield:** Easy, problem solved.

 **DrStrange:** Not it's not, by all standards, it was an unfair... whatever it was!

 **DeadMemes:** You're just a sore loser, get over it, I won and you lost. Ha!

 **Prince:** And you're being a sore winner. Get over yourself, it was a text argument, not the Olympics.

 **DeadMemes:** You see brother, first, there are the arguments in texts and THEN come the Olympic medals for Wakanda.

 **MightyShield:** Good luck then, Shuri

 **DrStrange:** I hope you trip and fall and break your face

 **MightyShield:** Strange!

 **DrStrange:** Fine, sorry.

 **MightyShield:** I'm getting way too old for this. Bye everyone

 **DeadMemes:** Later

 **Prince:** Goodbye

 **DrStrange:** See you later Rogers

 **MightyShield** has left **New Students**


	18. We gotta man up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the SSS. I also really need to rant about My Hero Academia and Black Clover, so there's that, you're warned, you can skip through that but there's some plot stuff this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a cough. In June. WHY AM I SICK, IT'S SUMMER!! Whatever, just enjoy the new chapter and shit. (BTW We hit 100 kudos, yay!!!)

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Okay guys we gotta man up

 **AntMan:** Isn't that technically sexist?

 **SuperNova:** I think that it depends which context you use it in and if you also use 'woman up' or other genders and up.

 **FutureCorpsman:** Because then it's basically saying that we have to be mature

 **Surrender:** It's... a figure of speech guys, do we really need political debates over it?

 **SuperNova:** Political debates are important, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

 **Deadpool:** Hardass over here only says that because he took Debate

 **SuperNova:** And now I'm on the debate team

 **FutureCorpsman:** And student council

 **Surrender:** And in multiple honor societies

 **SuperNova:** All that is thanks to time management and proper sleep

 **FutureCorpsman:** Liar. You never get any sleep and you constantly need coffee or 5 hour energies

 **Surrender:** Knew it

 **SuperNova:** Whatever. Did anyone of you see the newest episode of BNHA?

 **Surrender:** DADMIGHT!!!!!!!!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Mitsuki Bakuguo is a snack

 **Surrender:** Yesss, gimme all them calories

 **AntMan:** That was creepy

 **Deadpool:** Could've been worse, he could've said 'make me a fat little piggy, mommy'

 **AntMan:** What happened to you that was so traumatic that it made you like this?

 **Deadpool:** I don't know, I've probably repressed it

 **Surrender:** Ignoring Wade -- actually that should just be our policy from now on -- who cried?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh me, just... wow. It was a ride. A big emotional rollercoaster, I GOT THE FEELS.

 **SuperNova:** I don't cry during anime

 **FutureCorpsman:** BULLSHIT! You cried the entire time we all watched Violet Evergarden, Kraglin just missed it because he was sobbing.

 **SuperNova:** Okay, that's not anime, that's ART.

 **AntMan:** Like Naruto?

 **SuperNova:** Fuck off

 **Surrender:** Yeah, he doesn't like Naruto

 **Deadpool:** The weeb doesn't like Naruto, isn't that a twist?

 **SuperNova:** Screw you, it's not a good show, I mean, Sakura does SHIT, Hinata does even less shit, and not to mention that Sasuke is a terrible father and husband

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, let's back off the subject and continue this conversation never, sound good?

 **AntMan:** Okay then

 **Surrender:** New subject! I assume most of you have seen Black Clover, correct?

 **FutureCorpsman:** The shitty anime that's pretty bad but we all still love it anyway?

 **SuperNova:** Hey! It's gotten a little better

 **AntMan:** I know next to nothing about anime but continue on

 **Deadpool:** I'm cursed with knowledge beyond your comprehension, so yes, I know it

 **Surrender:** Okay, but I'm actually mad there's not more work surrounding the absolute GEM that is Klaus Lunette

 **FutureCorpsman:** You mean that guy with the glasses on Yuno's squad?

 **Surrender:** HE IS A GEM AND YOU WILL APPRECIATE HIM YOU BITCH FUCKER

 **SuperNova:** Okay, okay, but... why do you like him so much?

 **Surrender:** He's like a parental-tsundere, which is less annoying than the romantic-tsundere, and he CaRES So MUCH FoR HIS AdOPTED SONS!!!!

 **SuperNova:** And we're assuming that the adopted sons in question are Yuno and Asta.

 **FutureCorpsman:** Isn't Klaus in his early twenties?

 **SuperNova:** Did they even give him an actual age? I know he's older than them, but how old?

 **Surrender:** Age is irrelevant, Klaus is best dad to Yuno and Asta

 **AntMan:** I have a feeling that we're gonna jump into the deep end of anime, so, anything else going on?

 **Surrender:** Oh, here's the actual reason I entered the chat earlier, rumors are going around that we're scared of the 'Avengers' and that's why we won't post ships

 **FutureCorpsman:** I mean, it's not technically wrong? We're scared of getting caught, by their group or by the school. The school might ACTUALLY expel us, so yeah, that's something to be concerned about.

 **SuperNova:** So you want us to start posting again because your ego is damaged from some a-holes who have nothing better to do with their lives (like study) so they gossip? Real smart

 **Surrender:** Oh come on

 **SuperNova:** In fact, it's almost as smart as the time YOU POSTED THE AVENGERS GODDAMN GROUP CHATS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, WHICH BACKFIRED SPECTACULARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT GOT US IN MORE HOT WATER AND MADE THEM MORE MOTIVATED TO FIND US!!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan, you made your point, calm down a little bit

 **SuperNova:** That was me being calm

 **AntMan:** Then what do you call what you're doing now

 **SuperNova:** Suppressing my emotions so I feel dead inside

 **Deadpool:** If that isn't relatable I don't know what is

 **Surrender:** You all are just so fucking emo, aren't you?

 **Deadpool:** Fite me

 **SuperNova:** You spelled that wrong and it's bothering me

 **Surrender:** Dude, it's a meme

 **SuperNova:** Change the meme

 **Surrender:** I can't change the meme!

 **SuperNova:** Well, why not?

 **Surrender:** That's like asking me to get rid of oxygen and then hope humanity doesn't die, it's fucking impossible

 **SuperNova:** Fine, I'll let it go. For now

 **AntMan:** Actually, I have news you might actually want to hear

 **FutureCorpsman:** Tell me what you got

 **AntMan:** SO, there's even more new students coming in from Wakanda. There are a few girls named Okoye and Nakia, and a boy named Erik

 **Surrender:** Oh, this shall be interesting

 **SuperNova:** Could you dig up any more info about them?

 **AntMan:** I could, but why would you want to know that unless...

 **Deadpool:** OH MY GAWD, ARE WE, LIKE, POSTING AGAIN? YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 **SuperNova:** Actually die

 **Deadpool:** Very rude

 **Surrender:** Yes, we'll be posting again, don't get your briefs in a bunch

 **Deadpool:** It's a thong, actually

 **Surrender:** I did not ask and I did not need to know

 **Deadpool:** Hey, you were the one assuming stuff, you know what they say about assuming, it makes an ass out of you

 **Surrender:** And?

 **Deadpool:** And what?

 **Surrender:** Isn't there a second part of that saying where it goes 'and me'?

 **Deadpool:** Nope, you just made an ass of yourself so you take all the blame, buckaroo 

**Surrender:** Oh fuck off

 **Deadpool:** Wow, didn't know you were into that kinda thing (;

 **AntMan:** I need eye bleach now

 **Surrender:** How do you think I feel?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Like shit, per usual

 **Surrender:** You're not wrong, and I hate that

 **SuperNova:** So should we email new found info to Kraglin and then work together to come up with a super long list to make up for lost time? I think that's probably the best course of action.

 **Surrender:** Perfecto, that's the plan people!

 **AntMan:** So... am I technically a part of your group or not?

 **Surrender:** Yeah, you're our information guy, and if you want, you could have maybe 8% input on the ships that go on the board

 **AntMan:** 8%? Only 8%?

 **SuperNova:** Be thankful you get any sort of percent, after his ridiculous suggestions Wade got his percent cut down to nothing, he has no input now.

 **Deadpool:** Come on, Drax and Tony Stark would make a great ship, we could call it IronDestroyer!

 **Surrender:** Oh my god, this is making me crave death

 **AntMan:** Well, it's bad but not that bad, so come on, you got work to do

 **SuperNova:** And don't cry about it, you weren't the one he kept emailing his ideas too. It was a rough fucking week.

 **FutureCorpsman:** Holy shit on a banana, you said fuck!

 **SuperNova:** I am sleep deprived and still suffering because of season 4 of iZombie and season 6 of Voltron AND I have tons of shit to catch up on, so leave me alone

 **AntMan:** Maybe you could, I don't know, take a nap once in a while?

 **Surrender:** Oh, not a good idea. Once he takes a nap he can't be woken up, we had to get a taser last time.

 **AntMan:** A... taser. An actual taser used to momentarily stun people

 **FutureCoprsman:** And wake heavy sleepers up

 **AntMan:** Jesus

 **SuperNova:** It hurt a whole hell of a lot, but it stunned me awake. So it worked, I guess.

 **Deadpool:** Be careful, just don't end up like Fukawa in Ultra Despair Girls

 **Surrender:** Yes, Danganronpa is the best. But Genocider Syo needs to calm the fuck down

 **AntMan:** I don't get your weeb references, can we talk about something else? Anything else?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I heard Peter Quill and Gamora Titan are going steady

 **SuperNova:** Old news, everyone knows that. I mean, I'd be concerned for whoever didn't know that

 **Surrender:** It's even worse when I'm hanging out with them, they're all over each other. It's disgusting.

 **Deadpool:** Oh, let them be happy, never know when one of them might be yeeted off a cliff by their psychotic dad

 **Surrender:** The sad thing is I'm not even sure which one you're talking about. Whatever, you guys email me that info!

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	19. WHY???!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SSS is back up and working again, and of course, Tony has some problems with that. Thor has a possible solution but no one likes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being absent the past few days, would you believe it, lightning struck outside my house and fried all of our electronics, yes that's right, EVERYTHING ELECTRICAL GOT FUCKING FRIED. Aggg, stupid fucking lightning. Whatever, we got new internet now, so, yay. Here are the notes for the chapter
> 
>  
> 
> SpiceBabe- Pepper
> 
> LordChaos - Loki

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Hey guys, what's up?

 **WarMachine:** Not much Tones, not much

 **MightyShield:** It's been a good few days, hasn't it?

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, it seems like it's been better than ever! This is the most calm I've seen everybody well... ever!

 **BirbyBow:** The hell you mean? We're always calm!

 **Mindroid:** I think you just proved young Parker's point

 **BirbyBow:** Shut the hell your mouth you butler spawn

 **RedMagic:** Wow, so clever Clint

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Ayyyyyyyy, nice burn

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFASDFGHJ FUCK YOU!

 **SmokeWeed:** Wow, what a relatable flustered teen

 **BirbyBow:** Shut up man, you're high

 **SmokeWeed:** I'm actually not, sorry

 **BadAssSpiders:** And you just lost your best chance at making a crack at Bruce

 **BirbyBow:** Shut up, I get it Nat

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Hey, you guys excited for homecoming week, it's coming up soon

 **ThunderMan:** I am very excited, I hear you all do dress up weeks, it does sound enjoyable

 **IronBoi:** Actually it's not really, they mostly have really stupid themes, like 'wear blue'

 **BirbyBow:** If you're gonna hype up school spirit at least make the themes fun instead of stupid

 **IronBoi:** I know, right?

 **MightyShield:** According to the student council, who often meets with the welcome committee because a few of their members are with us, that's something they get a lot of complaints about

 **SpideyDude:** So why don't they change it?

 **MightyShield:** Apparently they're concerned about costs because at least 1/4 of the students are regular kids and they don't want to, and I'm quoting them here, 'put them at any disadvantage, monetarily wise'

 **BirbyBow:** ...Bitch

 **SpideyDude:** Like, that's actually very rude? 

**FlyBoyDonuts:** Who do these motherfuckers think they are? Satan? Trump?

 **IronBoi:** I see no difference between the two

 **BirbyBow:** LMAOOOOOOOOOO

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Hey guys, who's at school yet?

 **IronBoi:** Nobody, why?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** This: _UpdatedShipList.jpg_

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpideyDude:** Oh no

 **WarMachine:** Shit, who's got a pair of eyes on him?

 **SmokeWeed:** I do, he's carpooling with me, we're studying for AP Physics 3

 **BirbyBow:** Jesus christ

 **SmokeWeed:** And he looks like he's gonna die

 **WarMachine:** FUUCCCCCCCCCC-

 **SmokeWeed:** He just jumped out of the car and is now on the ground, on his knees, screaming, I'm quoting him here, 'WHY GOD? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU CAN'T LET ME HAVE ONE GOOD FUCKING DAY? WHY???!!!'

 **MightyShield:** Is... Is he okay?

 **Mindroid:** What do you think Steve?

 **SmokeWeed:** Wait, there's more 'FUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GODDDDDDAMMMMITT ALL TO ACTUAL BURNING HELL, I'M GONNA DIE BEFORE 20 AND I'M BLAMING IT ONE THIS GODDAMN BULSHIT HERE, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO MAKE THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME BECAUSE I WANNA GET A GODDAMN REFUND FOR A BETTER FUCKING LIFE!'

 **BirbyBow:** #GetTonySomeGoddamnHelp

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** #SpreadTheWord

 **BadAssSpiders:** #WhyAreYouMemeingWhenYourFriendIsHavingAMentalBreakdown?

 **BirbyBow:** #BecauseWeCopeWithEmotionalProblemsThroughMemeing

 **SpideyDude:** #StopHashtagAddiction

 **MightyShield:** How about we #HelpOurFriend? Like normal people?

 **BirbyBow:** #FuckOff

 **SpiceBabe:** This is kind of concerning

 **WarMachine:** Sweet baby Jesus, just someone fucking help Tony, I can hear him from the inside of the school, he's gathering a crowd

 **RedMagic:** Who wouldn't want to witness Stark's mental breakdown?

 **WarMachine:** A decent human?

 **RedMagic:** And there's none of those around here

 **WarMachine:** ...

 **ThunderMan:** Rhodey?

 **WarMachine:** I'm gonna need a moment to find a decent response to that

 **RedMagic:** Ha, I win

 **MightyShield:** I'm getting some real Deja Vu right about now

 **SmokeWeed:** Good news, Tony stopped screaming

 **WarMachine:** Shit, what's the bad news?

 **SmokeWeed:** Well... he might have been assigned lunch detention for the next month for that little episode in front of school grounds

 **BirbyBow:** Those assholes, haven't they ever experienced their souls being shattered before?

 **BadAssSpiders:** They have, that's why they don't care anymore

 **SmokeWeed:** They're dead inside

 **BadAssSpiders:** They don't enjoy anything that a normal human would enjoy

 **SpideyDude:** Like happiness

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** And disney princess songs

 **BirbyBow:** And the ability to express yourself

 **SmokeWeed:** AND MEMES

 **BirbyBow:** Fuck you, go die in a shit hole

 **SmokeWeed:** If by shit hole, you mean my life in general, then sure

 **BirbyBow:** I'm... I'm not sure how to even respond to that

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Don't worry none of us are

 **IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Wow, thanks guys for being such good friends and comforting me when I was FREAKING OUT INF RONT OFT HE ENTIREFU CKING SCHOOL

 **BirbyBow:** First of all, calm down, you're mashing words together, second of all, most of us aren't here yet

 **IronBoi:** Fuck you

 **MightyShield:** It's ok Tony, you haven't even seen what they've posted yet

 **IronBoi:** And I don't want to because I'm scared of what will be there

 **SpiceBabe:** It's fine Tony, they're just words, they can't harm you

 **IronBoi:** The 'words will never hurt me' thing is absolute bullshit

 **Mindroid:** Yes, we know that, sir

 **IronBoi:** Don't get smart with me Jarivs Jr.

 **BirbyBow:** ha

 **Mindroid:** I actually hate everything right now

 **IronBoi:** You're not the one that got lunch detention for 1 whole month

 **SpiceBabe:** That's pretty rough

 **IronBoi:** Tell me about it, and it's all thanks to those SSS motherfuckers, if only we could figure out who they are

 **ThunderMan:** I have a possible idea, but you might not like it

 **IronBoi:** I'm willing to put up with anything at this point really

 **ThunderMan:** I'm gonna text you a number, add it to the chat

 **IronBoi:** Do I know this person?

 **ThunderMan:** You do know him as a person, you just don't have his number

 **BirbyBow:** This feels kind of suspect

 **ThunderMan:** Do you want results or not?

 **IronBoi:** Fine, whatever, I'll add him

 **IronBoi** added **LordChaos** to **Avengers Assemble**

 **LordChaos:** What is this dreadful place?

 **ThunderMan:** Hello there, brother

 **BirbyBow:** LOki?

 **LordChaos:** Yes, it's me

 **IronBoi:** Are you actually fucking serious Thor

 **ThunerMan:** He's one of the best people to ask about information, it's more than likely that he knows something about their identities, and he has connections to almost everyone at the school

 **WarMachine:** And he's also a giant prick

 **LordChaos:** I prefer the word 'blackmail artist'

 **WarMachine:** Nah, giant prick still fits pretty good

 **IronBoi:** WHY???!!!

 **BirbyBow:** Tony is not having a good day

 **Mindroid:** He really isn't

 **IronBoi:** What gave it away, the yelling or the panic attack?

 **BirbyBow:** Neither, it was the fact that as soon as you entered the school and someone started pestering you about the board, you turned around, gave them a death stare and said, 'The fuck do you want you fucking douche baguette motherfucker, I will murder you and I will laugh as I put your head on a stick in front of your weeping mother, so leave me alone bitch'

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Jesus christ

 **LordChaos:** What else would I expect from the heir to a megabillion corporation? Class?

 **IronBoi:** Child, if you don't stop I'm gonna come over there and beat your ass myself

 **ThunderMan:** Brother, unless you want death, I do suggest you stop

 **LordChaos:** And who says I don't want it?

 **ThunderMan:** I do not have time for this, just, will you please help us?

 **LordChaos:** Fine. I'll do it for a cost

 **ThunderMan:** Fine, what do you want?

 **LordChaos:** I want you to get me dirt on Thanos Titan

 **IronBoi:** Gamora Titan's dad?

 **LordChaos:** Yes, there's something rather suspicious about him and I need to know more, so, that's where you all come in. Befriend Gamora Titan, get to know here, get me info, and in exchange, I'll help you with bringing down the SSS

 **ThunderMan:** Fine. We'll do it.

 **LordChaos:** Okay, here's what I have figured out so far, they pay good money for good informants, however, they don't trust me because of my reputation for spilling secrets, so they use Scott Lang instead, so he's bound to know who they are

 **IronBoi:** That's cool and all, but how will we get him to tell us?

 **LordChaos:** Well, there's something you could use

 **IronBoi:** what?

 **LordChaos:** His girlfriend, Maggie,, is currently pregnant

 **BadAssSpiders:** WHAT?!

 **LordChaos:** Yes

 **IronBoi:** So you want me to use that one him, and he'll tell us who they are?

 **LordChaos:** Of course, if anyone found out at school too early, just imagine what might happen, bullying, angry teachers, why, she might even get expelled

 **MightyShield:** Tony, you shouldn't do something like that, that's just wrong

 **LordChaos:** But it's also your only way of finding out who the SSS might be

 **IronBoi:** I-I need some time to think

 **LordChaos:** Take all the time you need

 **WarMachine:** Tony, don't do it man, we don't need you to do it

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, bringing down the SSS isn't that important

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't do it, it'll be going too far 

**IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **WarMachine:** Shit


	20. Fuck you Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony makes a decision and everyone else is happy, but now they need another way to uncover the SSS. Will they do it? find out in this episode of Dragon Ball- *cough*, sorry, Group Chats of Hell and High School!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I've been busy. Sorry for having fewer updates, I binged Seven Deadly Sins and am currently binging Supernatural. So that's taken up some time. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Lord Chaos- Loki

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpideyDude:** Mr. Stark, you're back!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Calm down kid, it's only been 10 minutes

 **SpideyDude:** I know... I was just worried!

 **IronBoi:** No need to worry kid, I made my decision

 **LordChaos:** And...?

 **IronBoi:** Fuck you Loki.

 **Mindroid:** And I believe that speaks for his decision

 **LordChaos:** So you... won't use my information then?

 **IronBoi:** Listen dickwad, as much as I hate those SSS bastards, ruining some girl's life just doesn't seem worth it.

 **LordChaos:** How... boring

 **BadAssSpiders:** Funny, what you call boring, we call being a decent fucking person!

 **LordChaos:** I apparently underestimated your desire to know their identities

 **ThunderMan:** No, you didn't. They just feel like being nice

 **LordChaos:** As I said before, how boring.

 **ThunderMan:** You never change, brother

 **LordChaos:** And I'm not your brother!

 **LordChaos** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Good riddance

 **ThunderMan:** That's Loki for you, always mad about something

 **SmokeWeed:** Honestly same tho

 **BirbyBow:** Honestly go die in a hole

 **BadAssSpiders:** Clint!

 **BirbyBow:** I'm up to fucking HERE, with Bruce

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You realize that this is a group chat and that we're not there in person with you to see where you're pointing, right?

 **BirbyBow:** Fine, if you must know, I jumped on my bed and touched my ceiling

 **RedMagic:** So we can assume that means you're very done with Bruce?

 **BirbyBow:** Oh, yes, very much so

 **SmokeWeed:** Fuck you, you burnt chicken nugget

 **BirbyBow:** If I'm a burnt chicken nugget, then you're a soggy tater tot

 **SmokeWeed:** How DARE you?!

 **Mindroid:** You insulted tater tots

 **SmokeWeed:** HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A SOGGY TATER TOT!! HOW DARE YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SOGGY TATER TOTS!!!

 **ThunderMan:** Who knew he cared so much about tater tots?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Almost everyone here, next to science, it's one of the things he cares about most

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Wow... that is... sad.

 **SmokeWeed:** Fuck you!

 **MightyShield:** Language

 **BirbyBow:** Ha! He got you to say it!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Shut it

 **IronBoi:** Guys, can I discuss something for a moment?

 **MightyShield:** Yeah, sure. What's up?

 **IronBoi:** Okay. So. Regarding Loki's information...

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh jesus...

 **IronBoi:** Scott Lang, the guy who sits a table over from us at lunch, is an informant to the SSS

 **Mindroid:** I take it you want us to investigate Lang?

 **IronBoi:** Yes! He knows who they are, just... don't be a Loki and try and blackmail him

 **Mindroid:** So don't ruin someone's life?

 **IronBoi:** Pretty much

 **Mindroid:** Good to know

 **MightyShield:** I can't believe some of us had to be told that.

 **BadAssSpiders:** I can't belive some of us didn't need to be told that.

 **MightyShield:** Fair enough, I suppose

 **BirbyBow:** No, not 'fair enough'! We are not ruining a girls life!

 **BadAssSpiders:** You say that like it's a bad thing

 **BirbyBow:** It is a bad thing! You shouldn't have to be told this, Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** Can it, bird boy

 **BirbyBow:** I'm hurt, I'm very hurt

 **IronBoi:** Can we have one conversation without it derailing?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Take a good long look at this chat, and now I think you can answer that question yourself.

 **IronBoi:** Good point

 **MightyShield:** So... Loki was actually useful?

 **ThunderMan:** Told you guys he could help

 **IronBoi:** The information that Scott knows SSS's identities did help, but the other stuff was unnecessary

 **BadAssSpiders:** I don't know about that...

 **MightyShield:** Nat.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Just kidding

 **MightyShield:** No you weren't

 **BadAssSpiders:** Aww, you know me so well

 **RedMagic:** The fact that we caught you lying like that shouldn't be sweet

 **Mindroid:** Really? I think it's sweet

 **BirbyBow:** That's you Vis, you have a very weird sense of 'sweet'

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Yeah, you got Wanda a mannequin head on your last date

 **RedMagic:** Okay, in all fairness, I really wanted one

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Why in the world would you want a mannequin head?

 **RedMagic:** Because

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** I'm gonna need more than that to go on

 **RedMagic:** Because why not?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Sure. Let's go with that

 **SpiceBabe:** I think it's sweet

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Really?

 **SpiceBabe:** But that could be just me

 **IronBoi:** I suppose mannequin heads as presents could be sweet... in its... own special way?

 **SmokeWeed:** Hells yeah

 **SpideyDude:** Sure? I guess

 **IronBoi:** Okay then, sure

 **MightyShield:** Hey guys? Lunch is starting now

 **IronBoi:** Shit, u right, meet y'all there

* * *

**BadAssSpiders:** That took longer than expected

 **IronBoi:** Screw you, some idiot dropped their science project all over the hallway and stopped up the entire area. It was hard to move around.

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Don't mean to interrupt you

 **IronBoi:** Yes you do

 **SiberiaSoldier:** But Scott Lang is discussing his weekend plans with the table next to us

 **IronBoi:** Shit, that was worth being interrupted for

 **BadAssSpiders:** Ooo, what are his plans? Anything cool? Anything stalkable?

 **RedMagic:** Jesus

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yes?

 **RedMagic:** ...I'm crying

 **SmokeWeed:** Same tho

 **BirbyBow:** Shut the fuck up

 **BadAssSpiders:** Focuse people! Can you tell me what they are?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** From what I hear he's going to hang out with 'new friends' and they invited him for karaoke at one of their houses

 **BadAssSpiders:** He's an informant for them, he's not friends with, these guys probably won't be them

 **IronBoi:** And if it were them wouldn't they be doing something, like, shippy?

 **SmokeWeed:** lmao 'shippy'

 **IronBoi:** Shut the fuck up Bruce, I don't see you giving me the word for it

 **BirbyBow:** Bruce, he's not wrong

 **SmokeWeed:** Shut it meme hater, I'm thinking of a retort

 **SmokeWeed:** Ur mom

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo

 **BadAssSpiders:** Stop it

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** But

 **BadAssSpiders:** Stop

 **SiberiaSoldier:** So Scott Lang seems to be a bust

 **BadAssSpiders:** See if you can take his phone

 **SpiceBabe:** What? Actually... what?

 **IronBoi:** Why do you want his phone?

 **BadAssSpiders:** If the guys he's hanging out with aren't the SSS, then he probably texts them, so take his phone

 **SpideyDude:** That feels like going too far

 **BadAssSpiders:** They took Tony's phone, why not take one of theirs?

 **ThunderMan:** Because Scott technically isn't part of the SSS, he just gives them information

 **MightyShield:** They're right Nat, it's an invasion of privacy

 **BadAssSpiders:** Like collecting information on people and deciding who they would be good with isn't?

 **MightyShield:** But that would be stooping to their level

 **BadAssSpiders:** Bitch, they have to squat to get down to my level, I'm fine with it

 **SpideyDude:** But that's you, not us

 **BadAssSpiders:** Come on... please?

 **MightyShield:** Bucky... don't do it

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm not going to, don't worry

 **BadAssSpiders:** Shit

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wait, Scott is the sarcastic one with the dark hair, right?

 **MightyShield:** The one with the the bandaid across his nose, yeah, why?

 **IronBoi:** And... you just told her everything she needed to know to target him

 **MightyShield:** Oh no

 **IronBoi:** Remember, whatever happens next is your fault

 **MightyShield:** I get it

 **BadAssSpiders:** I snatched that bitch!

 **BirbyBow:** What the hell Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** You can't control me, you can't control what I do

 **MightyShield:** And we love that about you

 **IronBoi:** But what the fuck Nat?!

 **BadAssSpiders:** I want to know who these fuckers are, so I just took some intiative

 **SmokeWeed:** Nat, that's a little far, maybe?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, I mean...

 **BadAssSpiders:** Nope. Not too far, no way Jose.

 **IronBoi:** Return it Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm going to say no

 **SpideyDude:** Please?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Your adorableness is not going to work on me kid

 **SpideyDude:** Aww

 **MightyShield:** Nat, return it before he notices!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Nope, turning on the phone now!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Natasha...

 **BadAssSpiders:** Fine, fine. It's passcoded anyways

 **SpiceBabe:** You can't expect someone who's an informant to have an unlocked phone

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'll figure it out

 **MightyShield:** Um, please don't actually

 **IronBoi:** And now you've made it a challenge for her

 **BadAssSpiders:** Damn right

 **BirbyBoy:** Hey guys, lunch is over

 **IronBoi:** Shit, gotta go to class, bye

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**


	21. Welcome to Shitty Karaoke night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, a karaoke chapter because the last week has been very stressful, enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been binging Kill la kill, very fun (10/10 recommend), and have been too lazy to write another chapter but here y'all are.

**AntMan** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntMan:** So guys, I probably won't be able to make it to karaoke

 **Deadpool:** What? But we were gonna do the whole 'Welcome to Shitty Karaoke night' shebang.

 **AntMan:** Listen, stuff came up, so... I gotta bail

 **SuperNova:** I hate to be that guy, but we all were hoping that you'd be able to make it

 **Surrender:** No, you love being the guilt-trip guy, don't lie to me, but, Garthan is right. What's the problem Scott?

 **AntMan:** Just, some... family issues? Okay?

 **Deadpool:** Oh... I know what's going on

 **AntMan:** Sorry... WHAT?

 **Deadpool:** It's gotta do with your girlfriend doesn't it??

 **AntMan:** Um, I plead the fifth?

 **FutureCorpsman:** That doesn't help you at all

 **Surrender:** It just confirms that it's about her? So, what's up?

 **AntMan:** Listen, guys, it's nothing, okay?

 **FutureCorpsman:** If it was nothing you wouldn't be skipping out on Karaoke night, would you?

 **AntMan:** You don't know that

 **Deadpool:** Yes, yes we do.

 **SuperNova:** Within the past week or so, you've really become part of the group, so it only makes sense that you would want to go to a group hangout, correct?

 **AntMan:** Correct...

 **Surrender:** Oh? So, like I asked before, what's the problem?

 **AntMan:** C'mon man, it's private, okay?

 **Deadpool:** Can I tell them? Pretty please?

 **AntMan:** No! No way! And how can you possibly know?

 **Deadpool:** Can we just say that I know everything?

 **AntMan:** What the actual hell is wrong with you

 **Deadpool:** Do you want the list alphebetized or chronologically sorted?

 **Surrender:** Wade, I've said this before and I'll say it again. Go. See. A. THERAPIST!

 **Deadpool:** You can't make me!

 **Surrender:** Motherfucker, I will fite you

 **SuperNova:** That's not even... how you spell... oh, nevermind. I give up

 **FutureCorpsman:** So before we get off track -- again -- Wade? Do you know what's up with Scott?

 **Deadpool:** I do... but why should I tell you?

 **Surrender:** Because we're his friends?

 **Deadpool:** But, oh, mon ami, are you his friends?

 **SuperNova:** Cut the crap and spit it out, Wade

 **Deadpool:** Well, I mean... you are his employers, so he has to suck up to you. So, he's really NOT your friend.

 **AntMan:** No, wait, wait, wait, just a minute? What are you doing?

 **Deadpool:** Trying to help you to keep your secret and not explain to them what's going on? But if you wanted your secret to be spilled, then you should just do it yourself

 **AntMan:** I honestly have no idea where you were trying to go with that. Like, what are you even doing?

 **Deadpool:** Oh my god, just focus and tell them what's up otherwise I'm gonna have to spill the beans, and neither of us wants that

 **AntMan:** Well, if you don't want that then why are you threatening to 'spill the beans'

 **Deadpool:** Because plot convenience

 **Surrender:** I have no more words for you

 **AntMan:** Guys, you can't tell anybody, alright?

 **Surrender:** Not telling people secrets is kind of what we do, that and ship

 **SuperNova:** Do I need to remind you that you telling Peter and his friends about us, is kind of what got us into this mess in the first place? 

**Surrender:** I promse it won't happen again

 **FutureCorpsman:** I don't know if Scott can trust you with something that seems this important, it's too risky

 **Surrender:** No, please! I swear I'll be better

 **AntMan:** Guys, just... please don't tell anybody, alright?

 **Deadpool:** Righty-o

 **Surrender:** Sure, just tell us

 **AntMan:** So... my girlfriend might kind of... bepossiblypregnant?

 **Surrender:** Holy shit dude

 **SuperNova:** Kraglin! That is not the proper reaction to this kind of situation! You're supposed to show support for your friends

 **Surrender:** I know but... how can you not say that in a situation like this

 **FutureCorpsman:** You could offer words of encouragement instead? Like this,

 **FutureCorpsman:** I know that this is going to be a very challenging time, Scott, but don't worry, we -- your friends -- are here to support you in every way we can

 **Surrender:** That sounds suspicously rehearsed

 **FutureCorpsman:** I mean, you're not wrong... but if you look at it it could have many meanings

 **AntMan:** Wow that makes me feel so special

 **Surrender:** Don't be sassy, he was trying to give me an example of how to act when news like this is revealed

 **Surrender:** CUZ THIS IS SOME SHOCKING NEWS

 **Deadpool:** Well... not really

 **Surrender:** Wade... stop.

 **AntMan:** Just ignore him, right?

 **Surrender:** Pretty much.

 **Deadpool:** I'm so hurt, I thought you were my friends

 **AntMan:** Very funny, Wade

 **AntMan:** But... it's a big deal, okay? And we need to talk about what's going to happen, so, I can't go to Karaoke

 **SuperNova:** Don't worry, we get it, go talk with your girlfriend

 **Deadpool:** We'll keep you updated with who's singing what, you can read it after talking with your girlfriend, so just mute your phone for now and check it later

 **AntMan:** Fine, just... whatever.

 **AntMan** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Cool so we can start now?

 **SuperNova:** I mean, we're all in the same room so there's kind of no point in staying in the chat

 **Deadpool:** I'm staying

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fine, but the rest of us are leaving

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, yeah, whatever

 **Surrender:** Oh, Garthan, your turn

 **SuperNova:** Fine

 **SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Okay, here we go. So Garthan is up in front of us all, and he's choosing a song from YouTube because no one has a karaoke machine apparently. And he picks... HandClap by Fitz and the Tantrums? You know, this song: [Handclap](https://youtu.be/5AtkWnBjGBU)

 **Deadpool:** He's pretty bad at it, I'm going to be honest, he should NOT be a singer because his voice sounds like... a fork is stabbing a goose, repeatedly, in the butt

 **Deadpool:** He looks proud of himself and there's no way any of us can tell him that he sucks now

 **Deadpool:** It's Kraglins turn, he looks way too excited. He's searching up some Japanese song, probably an opening to an anime or something. It's called... I'm not even gonna try to do pronounce that but here's the link: [Durara Opening 1: Uragiri No Yuuyake](https://youtu.be/Bfb0lPxg4Yc)

 **Deadpool:** He's nailing it, I'll give him that. Rhomann looks impressed and Garthan is pissed that he could pronounce almost every word.

 **Deadpool:** So Rhomann's going now, and we have... some emo song? I don't fucking know but I hope you enjoy hearing your ears bleed and being weirded the fuck out: [BLOODSPOT by Volcanos](https://youtu.be/If9VmBlp82c)

 **Deadpool:** Yeah turns out he can actually do some pretty good Death Metal, like, scary good. Garthan is shocked and Kraglin is laughing his ass off. So they're doing pretty good, next is my turn, yay! I'm gonna link you the song

 **Deadpool:** Here ya go buddy: [Boom Boom Boom - Vengaboys](https://youtu.be/FU-9kt-qi1g), yeah... wish me luck

 **Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** So Wade asked me to keep you posted during his performance, and he picked a song called Boom Boom Boom, so maybe rock?

 **Surrender:** So I was wrong. I was very wrong. It's some sort of trashy sex pop and I want to die because he's winking at me and I feel very uncomfortable

 **Surrender:** He's finished thank god, but he blew Garthan a kiss and Garthan just started sputtering, so that was fun

 **Surrender:** Okay, Wade's back on his phone so I'm gonna leave

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Woo! I had the best time, I was flirting the whole time and I made everyone uncomfortable, so I was pretty much my usual self. Okay, now here's a duo song. And... it's Rhomann and Garthan, so maybe something clean? Or boring?

 **Deadpool:** Oh... Oh... wow. I have no words. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or proud or some mix of both. Here's... here's the link: [Take on Me](https://youtu.be/irljBY9J5ig)

 **Deadpool:** Like... they actually managed to split it up really good and they manage to make it sound pretty good? But it's such an old meme? And I just... don't know how to feel?

 **Deadpool:** And they danced during the instrumentals, so, extra points I guess? But Kraglin is in a catatonic state, so that's probably not a good sign.

 **Deadpool:** Okay so they finished and look insanely proud of themselves, but I'm still shocked and Kraglin is walking up to the mic and I'm actually kind of scared. Like, what's he gonna do? Is he gonna kill someone? I mean, I'm not gonna argue but it's karaoke night, not murder night, that's next week

 **Deadpool:** Ohmygod, it's turning in to a meme war and I wanna cry really badly right now, here- just, take the damn song: <https://youtu.be/BJ0xBCwkg3E>

**Deadpool:** Like... why? I mean, I get it, he wanted to one-up Garthan and Rhomann, but WHY?! AND HE'S SINGING IT SO GOOD, TOO! AGGGH

 **Deadpool:** AGGG, now I have to do something memey too. I hate this group and I hate myself, but the last part isn't new, anyways, just... shit... what am I gonna do?

 **Deadpool:** I've made my decision, please don't judge me for this, yours is still the one opinion I care about in this group

 **Deadpool** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Okay, Wade's going up but he looks way too lackluster for his usual self

 **Surrender:** He's picking a song and HOLY SHIT IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?! HERE TAKE THE LINK: <https://youtu.be/PfYnvDL0Qcw>

**Surrender:** HE'S EVEN DOING THE SPEAKING WORDS I"M WHEEZING

 **Surrender:** HE JUST FINISHED AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S SEEN HELL AND I DON'T BLAME HIM BUT THIS IS THE BEST SHIT I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** I think we're done for the night, I'm going home

* * *

**AntMan:** Hey guys, anyone up?

 **AntMan:** I guess not, it's pretty late anway... shit, I gotta read the logs

 **AntMan:** ...I'm suddenly glad I didn't go

 **AntMan:** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	22. It's time to fuckin' party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Peter and his gang just talk about little things, and oh, now there's a giant party in preparation for homecoming. Because homecoming starts in September JUST LIKE SCHOOL SHOULD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I haven't been able to update, I was at JROTC Drill Camp and I actually had to sleep to do most the shit there, so I was kind of miserable. I had less time for reading/writing fanfic especially with my recent interest My Hero Academia and Black Clover. So, apologies, and here's a chapter that I'll try to make extra long to make up for it! (Btw it's only been like 2-3 weeks since school started in this verse, just to let you know) Here are some chat names!
> 
> BugOut- Mantis

**StarMunch** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **StarMunch:** Yoooo, guys, what's up?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Nothing I guess, why did you feel the need to contact us?

 **StarMunch:** What? I can't talk to my best friends and my girlfriend?

 **TrashPanda:** Spit it out Peter

 **StarMunch:** Fine, you prick

 **StarMunch:** So... Kraglin had a karaoke party and I was just thinking, what if we made a party for like... the whole school?

 **TrashPanda:** ...are.... are you fucking serious?

 **StarMunch:** Of course I am! And I'm very offended that you'd ask that

 **Surrender:** I mean... really?

 **StarMunch:** Shut it Max Coveri

 **Surrender:** ...10 bucks to forget you saw our karaoke night

 **StarMunch:** Make it 50

 **Surrender:** 5 bucks and I won't tell Yondu about that fistfight you got into yesterday

 **StarMunch:** How the hell do you know about that?!

 **Surrrender:** Oh dear Peter... I know everything

 **TrashPanda:** How much more creepy can you get, man?

 **Surrender:** Do you really need to ask that question?

 **IAmInvisible:** I mean, is he not already creepy and rather stalker-like?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** He said it not me

 **Surrender:** Y'all can go fuck yourselves, honestly

 **StarMunch:** We're just pointing out your flaws, you know, every human has a couple

 **Surrender:** Not me, I'm fucking perfect

 **HappyLittleTree:** i doubt dat

 **Surrender:** Groot, I assure you, there is no one more perfect than me

 **StarMunch:** <https://youtu.be/oHC1230OpOg>

**Surrender:** First of all, how dare you

 **TrashPanda:** Ha, that was great

 **Surrender:** Fine that settles it then, I am taking your shit and freezing it in ice cubes

 **StarMunch:** Wait no don't

 **TrashPanda:** Quill, he's at home and you're on break at work, he's gonna do it

 **StarMunch:** Fack me

 **IAmInvisible:** I'd prefer not to

 **TrashPanda:** Oh my lord, and that was Drax

 **TrashPanda:** We're losing our edge

 **StarMunch:** Who gives a shit about that, what the hell is Kraglin doing?!

 **TrashPanda:** He just dumped some of your shit in a bucket of water and put it in the freezer? What else did you think was going on?

 **StarMunch:** And you were doing NOTHING to stop him? What the hell man, I thought we were friends

 **TrashPanda:** 1st of all, we're legally brothers, 2nd... I just don't give a shit

 **StarMunch:** THis.... this is how I feel right now: <https://youtu.be/z_WDPCqXMYg>

**TrashPanda:** Oh wow, I'm so... so hurt

 **StarMunch:** Fuck you

 **Surrender:** Alright, my job is done

 **StarMunch:** Shit... I forgot that you were freezing my shit

 **Surrender:** ...how?

 **StarMunch:** My attention span is pretty limited, what do you want me to say

 **Surrender:** I want to know that I froze your homework and textbooks, good luck motherfucker 

**StarMunch:** Shit

 **StarMunch:** We had homework?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** You are such an idiot, how are you my boyfriend?

 **StarMunch:** Because you love me?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** ...yes, yes I do.

 **StarMunch:** Here you go Gamora: <https://youtu.be/vx8weoLEAnc>

**WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** ...what? What was that?

 **StarMunch:** It's how I feel about you

 **Surrender:** Did you even get the Stranger Things reference or did that fly over your head?

 **StarMunch:** Fuck off Elsa

 **Surrender:** Okay, I only froze SOME of your things AND I used the freezer for it, not magical Elsa/Todoroki ice powers? 'kay?

 **StarMunch:** Whatever fanfic fuckwad

 **Surrender:** Excuse you, fanfic isn't a hobby, it's a lifestyle, one which I very much enjoy

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Omg, that's so sad

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Alexa play Despacito

 **Surrender:** FirST Of ALL

 **StarMunch:** That's my girlfriend!

 **TrashPanda:** Quill, that is not something to be proud of, sorry Gamora, but no

 **IAmInvisible:** I thought it was funny

 **HappyLittleTree:** i thot it was fune

 **TrashPanda:** That is because you both have the maturity of 6 year olds

 **StarMunch:** That is very rude

 **TrashPanda:** I'm a rude ass person, the hell else did you expect? Hugs? Affection? Nope, no way

 **StarMunch:** Being a decent human being? Rocket doesn't know her

 **TrashPanda:** I'm done, I'm fucking done

 **IAmInvisible:** No you're not!

 **TrashPanda:** This is bullshit!

 **TrashPanda:** This is fucking bullshit!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I can't...

 **TrashPanda:** What is this?! 

**TrashPanda:** I can't get off of this...

 **TrashPanda:** WHAT IS THIS?!

 **Surrender:** I'm stuck on this! 

**TrashPanda:** WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

 **StarMunch:** You all did not just do that...

 **TrashPanda:** Yes we did, fuck off Star Munch

 **StarMunch:** Can it, you stupid raccoon

 **TrashPanda:** I am not a raccoon

 **StarMunch:** Oh, so you don't line your eyes in black eyeshadow?

 **TrashPanda:** At least I didn't get my shit frozen for being a jackass

 **StarMunch:** Don't turn this around on me!

 **TrashPanda:** Oh, I'm sorry, who was the one that just decided to come up with the idea for a GIANT FUCKING PARTY WITH ALL THE KIDS IN OUR SCHOOL?! 

**TrashPanda:** After watching the disaster that was Kraglin's karaoke night

 **Surrender:** Shut the fuck up

 **TrashPanda:** Dude, it was a steaming pile of shit, of memey shit, of REALLY BAD memey shit

 **Surrender:** Come at me you fucking emo

 **StarMunch:** Guys! Calm down!

 **TrashPanda:** Stay out of this!

 **StarMunch:** Fine, you leave me no choice

 **StarMunch:** I found a new name for lube!

 **StarMunch:** High Fructose _Porn_ Syrup

 **Surrender:** ...

 **Surrender:** I'm sorry, it's just... you think that's actually clever?

 **StarMunch:** Shut up, I worked very hard copying that from Tumblr

 **TrashPanda:** Fucking christ

 **TrashPanda:** I can't deal with any you of you fuckers 

**TrashPanda:** I'm going to bed, and there's nothing you can do. 

**StarMunch:** Bye bye Rocket! Have a nice night of sleep

 **TrashPanda:** This is probably a horrible decision that I will come to regret but YOLO

 **TrashPanda** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **StarMunch:** Okay, all in favor of having an epic party and inviting the whole school say aye

 **Surrender:** Aye!

 **IAmInvisible:** Aye

 **StarMunch:** Aye!

 **StarMunch:** Hey, Gamora, what about you?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** No. There is no way that this is happening. And no way I'm saying yes to it, so don't ask me.

 **StarMunch:** Please babe?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Hell no

 **StarMunch:** Pretty please with 70's music on top

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** No Peter

 **StarMunch:** Not even with Kevin Bacon?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Stop before I have to stab you

 **StarMunch:** Damn. Well, our votes outweigh yours so... PARTY'S STILL ON! WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I'm going to go with plausible deniability, goodbye

 **StarMunch:** Wait, babe, no

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** See you!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **StarMunch:** Damn. Alright then, when and where should we have this raging party?

 **Surrender:** First of all, we're not calling it the 'raging party', it sounds like something 80's high schoolers in a bad movie would say

 **StarMunch:** Awww

 **IAmInvisible:** I concur with Kraglin

 **StarMunch:** Buncha partypoopers

 **Surrender:** Do you want people to attend or not?

 **StarMunch:** Fine...

 **Surrender:** Good, now let's continue

 **StarMunch:** Ugggh

 **Surrender:** So, where should it be held?

 **StarMunch:** Idk, that's why I was asking you guys

 **Surrender:** You are an actual idiot, fine, hmm... how about the woods?

 **StarMunch:** Or the lake?

 **Surrender:** Hmmm, yeah, that would be better, there would be more open space so it would be a better party, and if we use the far side, then we wouldn't be as visible from the roads and wouldn't get arrested

 **StarMunch:** Yeah! Because that would suck, I mean, isn't Yondu on the police force?

 **Surrender:** Yes, and he would not hesitate to arrest our asses, so let's be smart about this and NOT get caught

 **IAmInvisible:** Do not tell me that we will be doing illegal activities while partying

 **Surrender:** Dude, teenagers have a citywide curfew of 10:30, so yes, that's at least one law we have to break and second... I'm pretty sure that half the things we do and consider fun are illegal

 **StarMunch:** Next question, drinks, will we actually have some?

 **Surrender:** Nah, if people wanna get drunk, they can bring their own shit

 **StarMunch:** Fair point, so we'll provide food and music, right?

 **HappyLittleTree:** dis sounds lik fun can i come?

 **Surrender:** Hell no

 **StarMunch:** Sorry buddy, no way.

 **HappyLittleTree:** ill tell yondu what ur doin

 **Surrender:** Goddammit, fine! Drax, you can watch the 6 year old at the party, don't fuck up

 **IAmInvisible:** I'll do my best!

 **StarMunch:** Ugh, so we have a place and part of the plan, so... then... how about tomorrow night for the party?

 **Surrender:** Sure, that'd be good, it is the weekend, but how are we gonna get the word out then?

 **StarMunch:** Well, if we tell at least one person per friend group at school, then word would spread fast

 **Surrrender:** Or we tell one person who gossips a lot

 **StarMunch:** true, but then how would word spread in time

 **Surrender:** Dude, who's got informant connections, you or me?

 **StarMunch:** ...you...

 **Surrender:** Good, so then let me handle it

 **StarMunch:** Agh, fine. I still haven't forgiven you, Elsa

 **Surrender:** Just for that, more of your shit's going in the freezer

 **StarMunch:** Wait, I didn't mean it!

 **IAmInvisible:** I believe it's too late

 **StarMunch:** Oh shut up you thesaurus

 **IAmInvisible:** I am NOT a thesaurus!

 **StarMunch:** Could've fooled me

 **Surrender:** Good luck getting your cd's back

 **StarMunch:** You fucking didn't

 **Surrender:** Oh I fucking did

 **StarMunch:** Fuck you

 **HappyLittleTree:** dont u guys need 2 focus

 **StarMunch:** Ugh, fine

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, we know

 **Surrender:** So... I'll tell a few people, then they'll tell a few people

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, yeah, good luck with that

 **Surrender:** Do you really want to get smart with me when I'm holding your precious walkman?

 **StarMunch:** ...you wouldn't fucking dare

 **StarMunch:** DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP A WALKMAN WORKING NOWADAYS? IT'S REALLY FUCKING HARD!

 **Surrender:** Don't get snappy with me now

 **StarMunch:** You touch that Walkman and I'm spilling your secrets

 **Surrender:** Mutually assured destruction, eh?

 **StarMunch:** You will burn if you even get a scratch on her

 **Surrender:** Fine, fine, even I'm not crazy enough to mess with your Walkman

 **StarMunch:** Good

 **IAmInvisible:** Perhaps we should start texting people and getting prepared?

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, and I should probably talk to Gamora, see if I can get her to come

 **Surrender:** Eyyy

 **StarMunch:** You're being a weirdo man, stop

 **Surrender:** You know I am

 **StarMunch:** For you: <https://youtu.be/WVlFXjyeJYc>

**Surrender:** Awww, love you too man

 **StarMunch:** I can't wait for the day someone punches you in the face

 **Surrender:** That is a wasted dream, 'cause it'll never happen

 **StarMunch:** Don't be too sure about that

 **Surrender:** The hell did you say?

 **StarMunch:** Nothing, just waiting, working...

 **Surrender:** Sure...

 **Surrender:** Anyways, I have to go talk to some people, Peter, get some sound systems and DECENT music, no 70s pop

 **StarMunch:** Fuck you, I do what I want

 **Surrender:** Fine, 1/10 of your music may be retro

 **StarMunch:** Deal, but no j-pop

 **Surrender:** Agh, okay...

 **Surrender:** Drax, get some good food and NON-alcoholic drinks, we don't support them but we won't prohibit them

 **IAmInvisible:** Very well then

 **Surrender:** And before you ask, no, the blood of your enemies does not count as a drink, we've had this conversation before

 **Surrender:** Groot, just be adorable

 **HappyLittleTree:** ok yay

 **Surrender:** Perfect

 **Surrender:** Now remember, the most important thing is that you DON'T GET CAUGHT

 **StarMunch:** Yondu will not hesitate to murder us

 **IAmInvisible:** Ok

 **HappyLittleTree:** o can i invit mantis?

 **Surrender:** ugh, fine, just don't tell Yondu

 **HappyLittleTree:** ooo, yay

 **HappyLittleTree:** can u add her

 **Surrender:** You're pulling my leg here kid, but fine

 **StarMunch:** Aw, you're just a marshmallow

 **Surrender:** Can it Star Prince

 **StarMunch:** I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicated my entire life to our lord and savior jesus christ and THIS is the thanks I get?!

 **IAmInvisible:** Isn't Vine dead?

 **StarMunch:** Oh that hurts real bad

 **HappyLittleTree:** add her add her add her add her!

 **Surrender:** Jesus Christ, fine

 **Surrender** has added **Bug Out** to **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **BugOut:** ...hi

 **HappyLittleTree:** wanna go 2 a party

 **BugOut:** yes!

 **HappyLittleTree:** Yay!

 **Surrender:** Goodbye you little shits, I have a party to throw and chaos to cause!

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Okay news, so... I'm throwing a party! Everyone at school is invited, it's tomorrow night, at like, midnight, so tell people, and if you wanna get wasted then BRING YOUR OWN DAMN DRINKS

 **FutureCorpsman:** I think you're talking to the wrong people

 **SuperNova:** A party? Hell no, Imma study

 **AntMan:** I'm... busy

 **Deadpool:** No need to explain man, we get it

 **Deadpool:** Okay, but a party sounds bomb, let's do this shit

 **Surrender:** Tell as many people as you can BUT MAKE SURE THEY DON'T SAY SHIT TO THEIR PARENTS

 **Deadpool:** That's... kind of an impossible thing to ask for there, buddy

 **Surrender:** Dude, please, my foster brother's the music guy and we need people otherwise he's gonna be depressed that no one's listening to his bad 70's/80's songs

 **Deadpool:** What activities do you have planned?

 **Surrender:** Uhh... I plead the fifth?

 **AntMan:** Really?

 **Surrender:** Well, it's gonna be at the far side of the lake, so swimming, there are food and drinks and we're gonna have music so... there's that

 **Deadpool:** Get your shit together man, and tomorrow better be fucking cool

 **AntMan:** I won't be able to be there, but I could spread the word

 **Surrender:** Awesome, you do that

 **Surrender:** Now I gotta go before Peter kills me because I froze his shit BYE

 **Deadpool:** Woo! It's time to fuckin' party!

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**


	23. It's time to fuckin' party: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is gonna be a 3-4 part story. Here's the start of the party, with people finding out. Part 3 is gonna be the middle of the party, and Part 4 is gonna be the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, but I had a cyber camp and then I got sick. I'm still sick but it's not as bad as it was. Anyways, enjoy the extra long chapter.

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Yo, did you guys hear about what's going on?

 **BadAssSpiders:** No... why?

 **LordChaos** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **LordChaos:** Why the party that's to be thrown at the lake of course

 **IronBoi:** Oh joy. It's you.

 **LordChaos:** Glad to see I was missed

 **MightyShield:** What do you want Loki?

 **LordChaos:** I thought you all wanted to know about the party happening tonight

 **BirbyBow:** There's that, there's also how you know when to come in at the right time

 **LordChaos:** Oh that? Yeah, I just looked over Thor's shoulder

 **IronBoi:** Do you always do that when we're chatting?

 **LordChaos:** ...it's a possibility.

 **IronBoi:** And you LET him do this, Thor?

 **ThunderMan:** Do you expect me to say no to my brother?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** YES!

 **LordChaos:** I am not your brother!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Aww, is the itty bitty baby getting flustered?

 **LordChaos:** I am not, I'm merely stating facts

 **IronBoi:** Awww, look at the poor baby trying defend himself

 **LordChaos:** Fine. Try and find out about the party from someone else

 **LordChaos** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **ThunderMan:** Great, now he's gonna be upset for the rest of the night

 **IronBoi:** Why does he get to be upset when he pulls the shit he does?

 **ThunderMan:** He's... as you say... emotionally constipated?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Honestly, you're all emotionally stunted

 **SmokeWeed:** When did you start sipping tea?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Since when did I ever NOT?

 **BirbyBow:** IM DOOOONNNNNNNEEEEE

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** And when are you NOT done?

 **BirbyBow:** When Bruce isn't trying to resuscitate dead memes

 **RedMagic:** That is a fair point

 **Minrdoid:** I'm more concerned about the fact that there is a party happening and none of us knew about it

 **SmokeWeed:** Oh, I knew

 **IronBoi:** HOW?!

 **BadAssSpiders:** He hangs out with the stoners, they know everything

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Or they know nothing, that's how it goes

 **IronBoi:** I don't fucking get this school

 **WarMachine:** Don't worry Tones, no one does

 **IronBoi:** Okay, excuse me WHILE I SCREAM INTO THE FUCKING VOID

 **SmokeWeed:** If that's not a mood I don't know what is

 **BirbyBow:** Listen up you

 **SmokeWeed:** What? I'm listening

 **BirbyBow:** I don't know, just stop

 **SmokeWeed:** You don't realize that you made a meme format

 **BirbyBow:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **IronBoi:** Quick, steer the conversation away from the disaster that's about to happen

 **MightyShield:** So Bruce, what do you know about this party?

 **SmokeWeed:** It's on the far side of Lake Sakaar, it's tonight, at like, midnight

 **IronBoi:** Well, I can just go out and no one will care so... good for me, then?

 **MightyShield:** Bucky's parents are on vacation, and mine are out of town the next few days, so I guess we're in

 **BadAssSpiders:** Steve, don't tell me that you've been doing nothing but hanging out with Bucky for the past week?

 **MightyShield:** Uhh... I don't wanna lie

 **SpideyDude:** You two are SO IN LOVE

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Calm down kid

 **SpideyDude:** I'm not happy over it, you guys act like the WORST kind of couple

 **RedMagic:** yeah, all about the PDA

 **WarMachine:** Even Wanda and Vis keep the PDA down to a minimum

 **Mindroid:** That is true

 **IronBoi:** Ugh! Who cares about relationships, let's get back to the party

 **SpideyDude:** Ooo! Can I go to the party, Mr. Stark?

 **IronBoi:** Kid, stop calling me that, and no, no you can not

 **SpideyDude:** PLEAAAAASEEEEEEEE

 **IronBoi:** Hell no, it's a high school party and you don't know what shit might go down

 **SpideyDude:** Please! Aunt May has to work late so she won't know I'm gone, and I can just say that I'm staying over with a friend if she does notice!

 **IronBoi:** We are not lying to your hot aunt

 **RedMagic:** You're calling her hot. Right now?

 **IronBoi:** Fuck off Wanda

 **Mindroid:** Sir...

 **IronBoi:** Fine. Sorry Wanda

 **RedMagic:** Whatever, Stark

 **IronBoi:** Ugh, fine. Just don't get into trouble and if somebody offers you a drink that ISN'T one of us, run away screaming

 **SpideyDude:** Yay!

 **IronBoi:** Okay, Bruce, what kind of stuff should we prepare him for?

 **SmokeWeed:** Uhh, from what I know, they're not providing alcohol but you can bring it if you want to, and there's gonna be music, and I think some rich kid is bringing their boat and some tubes for tubing

 **Mindroid:** This sounds like an enjoyable evening

 **RedMagic:** Perhaps you would like to accompany me?

 **Mindroid:** Oh! Of course.

 **BirbyBow:** REEEEEEEEEEE! Get your relationship out of here you heathens! You're making us singles feel bad!

 **WarMachine:** Calm down, it's annoying but it's not that bad

 **BirbyBow:** Speak for yourself man

 **RedMagic:** Whatever, we'll still have a good time, right Vis?

 **Mindroid:** Of course my dear

 **IronBoi:** *Barf* Clint, you were right

 **BirbyBow:** Ha! I knew I was

 **FlyBoyDonut:** It's such a rare occurance too

 **BirbyBow:** Fuck you, I aced my Calculus quiz

 **ThunderMan:** Why are you having quiz's and tests so early in the year?

 **BirbyBow:** AP doesn't joke around man

 **IronBoi:** Ain't that the truth

 **WarMachine:** So then why the hell are you taking AP classes?

 **BirbyBow:** Because good colleges don't joke around either

 **SmokeWeed:** Too true

 **SpideyDude:** Y'all need this party

 **BirbyBow:** Screw you! I don't -- shit. I do need this party, I really do

 **IronBoi:** I'd like to think that all of us do

 **Mindroid:** Does anyone else think that this party might be for homecoming?

 **WarMachine:** What do you mean?

 **Mindroid:** Homecoming is coming up after the party, correct? So it only makes sense that it's for homecoming

 **SmokeWeed:** Don't say that because if it's a homecoming party that means I have to have school spirit and the edgy part of me doesn't do that shit

 **BirbyBow:** Errrrrrrrrr

 **BadAssSpiders:** Careful Bruce, Clint is trying his best not to blow up

 **SmokeWeed:** *whips* dab on them haters

 **BirbyBow:** IM GONNA KILL YOU

 **SmokeWeed:** I'm on the other side of town, good luck getting to me

 **BirbyBow:** I'm not gonna kill anyone. I'm not gonna kill anyone. I'm not gonna kill anyone.

 **SmokeWeed:** 420 Blaze it 360 no scope

 **BirbyBow:** I'M GONNA KILL SOMEONE

 **ThunderMan:** Please don't, then one of us will have to pay bail for you

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFGHJK FINE

 **SmokeWeed:** lit

 **BirbyBow** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Oh shit

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't worry I'm with Clint, he's just curled up into a ball and rocking back and forth

 **IronBoi:** Is there... any special reason you're with him? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't. Just. Don't.

 **BadAssSpiders:** And to answer your question, no, there is not. We hang out as friends

 **SpideyDude:** Isn't he dating someone?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, Laura, she's alright

 **IronBoi:** Awww, is some jealous?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Tony, if you want to live, shut up

 **IronBoi:** Fine. Besides... I know who you REALLY like

 **BadAssSpiders:** You're dead

 **IronBoi:** I mean... I'm not surprised, this place is hell

 **MightyShield:** Come on, this isn't The Good Place

 **IronBoi:** Did you... did you just-

 **FlyBoyDonut:** Oh shit! HE MADE A REFERENCE, HE AIN'T AN OLD MAN ANYMORE

 **IronBoi:** Oh, shit's going down

 **MightyShield:** Guys, guys, it was ONE reference

 **SiberiaSoldier:** He only knows it because I forced him to watch it

 **WarMachine:** That makes more sense

 **MightyShield:** Come on guys, I'm not that bad

 **IronBoi:** It's like you were literally taken from the 40's, Rogers

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, the 1840's

 **RedMagic:** That was pretty good

 **ThunderMan:** I am impressed, young spider

 **SpideyDude:** Again, not actually a spider, but it's fine, no need to worry about it

 **ThunderMan:** Alright, spider child

 **IronBoi:** Oh my god, can we be done here

 **WarMachine:** Sure?

 **IronBoi:** Good, now back onto the main topic

 **IronBoi:** So... who wants to go to the party (besides Peter)

 **RedMagic:** Vis and I, maybe my brother Petro

 **MightyShield:** Doesn't he got to X-Men Academy?

 **RedMagic:** Yeah, he does, but it's going to be absorbed by Marvel's SFES (School For Excelling Students)

 **MightyShield:** That's sad? I guess

 **RedMagic:** He doesn't really care, but he would be pretty happy to go to a party

 **IronBoi:** Okay, Witch, Robot and Sonic are going, what about you guys?

 **MightyShield:** Well, Bucky and I are going, and we said that before

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, I forgot, I have the attention span of a butterfly

 **IronBoi:** So Gay and Dissapointed x2, are going

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Oh my god

 **IronBoi:** Am I wrong?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** You're not, and that's just very sad

 **IronBoi:** Ok, so add SpiderChild, and myself to the list, what about you, Rhodes?

 **WarMachine:** I'm going just to make sure that you don't do anything stupid

 **IronBoi:** Great! Platypus is in, and you Thor?

 **ThunderMan:** Of course! How could I miss an opportunity to bond with my classmates! 

**IronBoi:** Great! Thanks, Pikachu. Okay... Nat, what about you and Clint?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Ok, give me a sec to ask him

 **BadAssSpiders:** He said 'sure' and then went back to his corner

 **WarMachine:** Is... is he okay?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Are any of us really ok?

 **IronBoi:** Now is not the time to be depressing, Nat

 **Mindroid:** Sir, are you really sure that attending this party is a good idea?

 **RedMagic:** Don't be a buzz kill Vis, I'm sure it'll be fun

 **Mindroid:** I'm just worried that there might be some... bad behavior at this party

 **IronBoi:** Whatever, just stay away from the drinks and bring your own juice, and you should be good. Also never take your eyes off it, or leave it alone

 **Mindroid:** O...kay?

 **IronBoi:** So we're all going to the party? Woo!

 **MightyShield:** I wonder how many other people are going to go?

 **IronBoi:** I don't fucking know, go ask some people

 **MightyShield:** Sure, I'll be right back

 **MightyShield** has left **Avengers Assemble**

* * *

**MightyShield** has entered **New Students**

 **MightyShield:** So have any of you heard about the party at Sakaar Lake?

 **DeadMemes:** Oh that? Of course

 **DrStrange:** With how loudly everyone was talking about it at the mall it was pretty obvious

 **Prince:** I don't believe I was informed of a party

 **DeadMemes:** Brother, you're kind of a buzzkill, no one wants to invite you to anything fun

 **Prince:** That... actually hurts

 **DeadMemes:** I'm sorry, I was just being honest

 **Prince:** Whatever

 **Prince:** But what is this 'party'

 **MightyShield:** Well, some people think that it's for homecoming, but nobody really knows what it's actually for

 **DrStrange:** That seems kind of strange, is nobody else suspicious?

 **DeadMemes:** YOLO

 **Prince:** That's also very concerning

 **DeadMemes:** I mean, that's honestly a mood

 **DrStrange:** Do you ever talk about anything else

 **DeadMemes:** Not really

 **Prince:** That's true, I can verify it

 **MightyShield:** Jeez, there's only so much I can deal with at a time

 **DeadMemes:** What?

 **MightyShield:** Just, whatever, so who's going to it?

 **DrStrange:** I view this as an opportunity to see how my companions act in the presence of alcohol, so I'll be going

 **MightyShield:** Odd, but okay, and what about the rest of you?

 **DeadMemes:** Of course, where else would I be?

 **Prince:** And I'll be going to make sure she doesn't make a fool out of herself

 **DeadMemes:** Hey!

 **DrStrange:** You know it's true though

 **DeadMemes:** stfu

 **DrStrange:** And that's how I know I'm right

 **DeadMemes:** I didn't ask to get exposed like this

 **DrStrange:** Just... just stop. Please.

 **DeadMemes:** NEVER! MWA-HAHAHAHA

 **Prince:** Calm down Shuri

 **DeadMemes:** Booo! None of you are any fun!

 **MightyShield:** Alas, that's the price of being a good student

 **DeadMemes:** Please, I'm one of the BEST students here, and I still manage to have some fun

 **DeadMemes:** I don't know what the rest of you are doing wrong

 **Prince:** Sister, not everyone is born with a such a gift as your intelligence, it makes sense that they'd have to work harder to be on your level

 **DrStrange:** Excuse you, I am nowhere below her. I work hard because I care, not because I need to

 **DeadMemes:** Sure, like I couldn't whoop your ass in Pre-calc

 **DrStrange:** I don't know what you're talking about, I'm in AP Calc

 **DeadMemes:** Ah, yes, the difference being that I'm a freshman you're a senior, and I'm ONE year behind you in math

 **DrStrange:** Ah yes, but soon you're going to run out of math classes to take. I could easily be years ahead, but I carefully planned everything

 **DeadMemes:** WORST. EXCUSE. EVER

 **MightyShield:** Can we focus?

 **DeadMemes:** Focus on what?

 **MightyShield:** Just... whatever. See you there, I guess

 **DeadMemes:** See ya!

 **MightyShield** has left **New Students**

* * *

**MightyShield** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **MightyShield:** It seems like a lot of people are going

 **IronBoi:** When you say 'a lot' do you mean those 3 new kids?

 **MightyShield:** But my point is that even the new kids are going, so it's a big event

 **IronBoi:** Fair point

 **BadAssSpiders:** Sounds fun

 **IronBoi:** Is anyone going to actually bring alcohol

 **BirbyBow** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **BirbyBow:** Yes

 **WarMachine:** How the hell did you know to enter then?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Like Loki, he reads over my shoulder looking for the perfect place to dramatically appear

 **SmokeWeed:** Exposed

 **BirbyBow:** StOP

 **BirbyBow:** But seriously, my dad's got a basement full of tiny fruit-flavored vodka bottles that he kind of forgot about so... I'm gonna fill my car with them, drive over without getting caught, and unload them at the party

 **IronBoi:** Stop speaking, I need plausible deniability

 **BirbyBow:** Too late, you're entangled in my web

 **IronBoi:** LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET ARRESTED LALALALALALALA

 **BirbyBow:** Whatevs, guess it'll just be me having the most fun

 **BadAssSpiders:** Or getting arrested, but who cares

 **BirbyBow:** You're just a bunch of haters

 **SmokeWeed:** Dab on the haters

 **BirbyBow:** You're the reason I do these things!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't blame your faults on him

 **BirbyBow:** Shush

 **BadAssSpiders:** You know I'm right

 **RedMagic:** That's why he wants you to be quiet

 **Mindroid:** That does seem to be the likely explanation

 **BirbyBow:** I didn't ask for this

 **IronBoi:** No one asked

 **ThunderMan:** So how are we all going to get there?

 **MightyShield:** Well, I got a car, it's a four-seater, so Bucky, Nat, Clint and I can go

 **BirbyBow:** Ugh, but I don't want to go in your shitty '85 honda, it SUCKS

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Fine. If you care that much then walk

 **BirbyBow:** What?! Are you serious? The lake is 15 miles away from my place!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Then don't complain

 **BirbyBow:** Ugghhh, fine. Sorry Steve, your shitty car is wonderful

 **MightyShield:** Uh... thank you?

 **BirbyBow:** You're welcome

 **IronBoi:** Okay, so Peter's going with me in my car, any other takers?

 **WarMachine:** Ehh, Carpooling's better for the earth, so count me in

 **ThunderMan:** Loki and I are going to use my car

 **LordChaos** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **LordChaos:** No I'm not, I'm using my own car

 **LordChaos** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **ThunderMan:** Correction, I'm going to go myself then

 **RedMagic:** If you don't mind, could you pick Vis and I up?

 **ThunderMan:** It would be no trouble!

 **IronBoi:** What? You and Vision could always ride with Peter and I

 **Mindroid:** Um, we wouldn't want to trouble you...

 **IronBoi:** That's a lie and you know it

 **Mindroid:** Okay, it's just... well...

 **RedMagic:** Your music is really annoying

 **IronBoi:** IM SO HURT

 **BadAssSpiders:** Ouch... have you ever heard of 'tact' Wanda?

 **RedMagic:** What? I was just being honest

 **IronBoi:** I'm-I'm going to cry, I'm actually going to cry now

 **WarMachine:** Do you see what you've done? You caused this mess, you fix it

 **Mindroid:** Sir, all she meant was that... your music... is simply too loud for us to handle

 **IronBoi:** No, I get it, I get it, you and your girlfriend just wanna go with Thor cause he's got a better car

 **Mindroid:** We assure you that is not the case

 **IronBoi:** Whatever.

 **IronBoi:** Sorry guys, I gotta go. We'll meet at the party in a little bit, right?

 **MightyShield:** Cool

 **IronBoi:** Alright

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**


	24. It's time to fuckin' party: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3  
> BugOut- Mantis

**Surrender** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Surrender:** Okay, to be honest, I did NOT expect this many people to show up

 **StarMunch:** Weren't you the one trying to get everyone to come?

 **Surrender:** Hey this whole thing was your idea

 **StarMunch:** Shush

 **Surrender:** Don't shush me

 **StarMunch:** Ugh, sorry, I'm a bit tipsy

 **Surrender:** What?! HOW?! Shit, did someone bring alcohol

 **TrashPanda:** Hey, you said as long we didn't provide it, it could be brought

 **Surrender:** Rocket. Don't tell me you brought alcohol

 **TrashPanda:** I wish. No, some kid rolled up in a truck and started handing out an assload of tiny fruit-flavored vodka

 **Surrender:** Of course

 **Surrender:** Hey Drax, how're the kiddos?

 **IAmInvisible:** They are good, they like to dance to Peter's bad music

 **StarMunch:** eY! Mh music is good!!

 **Surrender:** And he's drunk

 **TrashPanda:** Freakin' light weight

 **StarMunch:** quiet Raccooonnmm 

**TrashPanda:** Oh, he's wasted, and he had like... 1 bottle

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** That should be NORMAL for teens

 **TrashPanda:** Welp. I'm not normal then.

 **HappyLittleTree:** totally

 **BugOut:** yep yep

 **Surrender:** uugggghhh, whatever

 **Surrender:** Also, someone decided to bring a tube and a boat? So.... what the hell am I supposed to do about that?

 **StarMunch:** LEt the fucker dp what he wantss

 **Surrender:** Just... just go play some music, Peter

 **StarMunch:** mmmkay

 **Surrender:** Fine, I said he could and now there's tubing

 **Surrender:** Also Drax, WHY DID YOU BRING SWEDISH FISH AS SNACKS??!!

 **IAmInvisble:** Because they are delicious treats

 **Surrender:** Go and buy some goddamn chips

 **IAmInvisible:** But I am watching the children

 **Surrender:** ARRRRRRRR, FINE! I'LL GO BUY THE GODDAMN CHIPS

 **StarMunch:** but uuuu gotta mananage the partyy

 **Surrender:** errrrr, FINE, RoCKET GO GEt THE GODDAMN CHIPS

 **TrashPanda:** I don't want to

 **Surrender:** Ugh, you're ALL useless

 **Surrender:** I'm gonna talk to someone else

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Wade, go get chips

 **SuperNova:** Well, hello to you too

 **Surrender:** Shut the fuck up, I'm stressed and all we have on the food tables are SWEDISH FISH, I NEED SOME GODDAMN CHIPS TO PUT THERE

 **SuperNova:** Calm down man, jeez

 **Surrender:** Sorry, just... can someone run and get me several bags of chips and pop? Maybe some pizzas too

 **FutureCorpsman:** I can go get some pizza, I'm done studying anyways and my parents are asleep, see you there

 **Surrender:** Thank you!

 **SuperNova:** I can get the chips and soda

 **Surrender:** I thought you had to study

 **SuperNova:** I finished hours ago and I was binging some random shows but now I'm bored so I want to help

 **Surrender:** Really Mr. Study all the time?

 **SuperNova:** Do you want the damn things or not?

 **Surrender:** Kidding, kidding

 **SuperNova:** Good, be there in a bit

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Ugh, you guys were right to stay home

 **Deadpool:** The music is shit, and there's only fucking Swedish fish to eat

 **Deadpool:** There's Caprisun for drinks and the only decent thing is some kid handing out vodka

 **Surrender:** Wade!

 **Deadpool:** I kind of forgot that you were in this chat too

 **Deadpool:** oops

 **Deadpool:** Sorry?

 **Surrender:** FUck you

 **Deadpool:** Are... are you crying?

 **Surrender:** ...no...

 **Deadpool:** Shit, I'll be there

 **Deadpool** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **SuperNova:** That doesn't seem good... at all

 **FutureCorpsman:** Better book it over there

 **SuperNova:** You're probably right

 **FutureCorpsman:** Meet you there?

 **SuperNova:** Sure

 **SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Surrender:** i hate everybody

 **StarMunch:** oOf

 **Surrender:** Shut up, you're drunk

 **StarMunch:** Screw youu

 **Surrender:** Hmmm, not gonna answer you, I don't feel up to it

 **StarMunch:** bIG oof

 **Surrender:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Hey Kraglin! Where are you, Wade's looking for you

 **Surrender:** Oh, nothing, nowhere....

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Are you in your car?

 **Surrender:** ...no...

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** You are, aren't you?

 **Surrender:** SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Don't try and lie to me

 **HappyLittleTree:** is kraggles sad

 **Surrender:** stfu

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Yes, yes he is

 **HappyLittleTree:** aww now i feel sad

 **BugOut:** me 2

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Kraglin, come on, the children are gonna start crying

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Aaaand, now they're crying, thank you for that

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Kraglin?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Kraglin, where are you?

 **Surrender:** Sorry, this isn't Kraglin

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Who the hell is this then?

 **Surrender:** Sorry, sorry, it's his friend... Wade?

 **Surrender:** You might know me as the 'weird one'

 **Surrender:** The guy who breaks the fourth wall maybe?

 **Surrender:** Ooo! You probably know me as the guy who was most likely molested as a child

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Uh... I'm not sure how to respond to that

 **Surrender:** That's dealing with me in a nutshell

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Yeah, you are... definitely Wade

 **Surrender:** Okay, I'm with Kraglin, he's fine, bye

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Uh... okay, bye?

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

* * *

**SuperNova** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **SuperNova:** So... I'm at Lake Sakaar and I see that you are on the OTHER side of the lake

 **SuperNova:** Thanks for notifying me about that

 **SuperNova:** Now I have to drive EVEN LONGER to get there

 **SuperNova:** You're paying for my gas, Kraglin

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh, hey Garthan! I'm here too!

 **FutureCorpsman:** But I'm on the other side of the lake, can't wait to see you there, though

 **SuperNova:** Also, I bought several hundred bags of chips. People better eat them because I spent TONS of money on them

 **SuperNova:** Ugh, where is Kraglin? Why isn't he responding?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I don't know, and Wade isn't responding with something disturbing

 **SuperNova:** So they're both gone?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Looks like it

 **SuperNova:** Okay, why don't we drive around for a little bit and see if we can spot one of them

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, yeah, I think that'll work

 **SuperNova:** Okay, just give me a bit to get there

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fine by me

* * *

**SuperNova:** Goddamit, it took me like a half an hour but I'm here now

 **FutureCorpsman:** I've been here for a while and I still haven't found anything

 **SuperNova:** How the hell did you get here before me

 **FutureCorpsman:** I have four wheel drive in my car, how about you

 **SuperNova:** Ugh, shut up and find Kraglin

 **FutureCorpsman:** Can do

* * *

**FutureCorpsman:** I found his car!

 **SuperNova:** Freaking finally

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, it's by the woods, come on!

 **SuperNova:** Yes! I'm near there, let's go!

 **AntMan** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntMan:** Hey, guys, what's up?

 **SuperNova:** Read the freaking chat logs

 **AntMan:** Sheesh, don't be so rude, I'm reading it, I'm reading it

 **AntMan:** Okay, so I read it and all I have to say is keep me posted on what goes down

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fine, fine

 **SuperNova:** Can we just go check on Kraglin already?

 **AntMan:** You assholes better tell me what happens or I'm suing for emotional damages

 **SuperNova:** Blah blah, fine

 **AntMan:** Screw you

 **FutureCorpsman:** Guys! We gotta go!

 **SuperNova:** Ugh fine

* * *

**SuperNova:** I want bleach

 **AntMan:** Shit

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Okay first of all

 **SuperNova:** Goddammit I did NOT need this shit tonight

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well... wow, that was.... interesting???

 **Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

**Surrender:** I swear I can explain

 **SuperNova:** Nope. Nope. Nope.

 **SuperNova:** I'm gonna go walk into the lake

 **FutureCorpsman:** Wait, Garthan, don't

 **SuperNova:** I swear that's what I'm gonna end up doing

 **AntMan:** Guys, what the hell happened

 **SuperNova:** You don't want to know

 **AntMan:** Huh?

 **SuperNova:** I don't even want to know

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan, come on, it wasn't that

 **SuperNova:** They were making out!

 **AntMan:** WHAT?!?!

 **Surrender:** Ehehehehehehehee

 **AntMan:** What... the fuck... did I miss?

 **Deadpool:** Okay, so Kraglin and I were talking... about things

 **Surrender:** And one thing kind of led to another... and then Garthan and Rhomann found us

 **Deadpool:** And now Garthan's gone into a weird ass spiral

 **SuperNova:** That's one word for it

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oof, I was just feeling a bit awkward

 **SuperNova:** Like, God, it makes no fucking sense??? I'm so confused???? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO???

 **FutureCorpsman:** Ummm... not panic or freak out?

 **AntMan:** Wow... that's certainly a lot to take in

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah...

 **Surrender:** Emotions were high and it just... happened, I guess

 **SuperNova:** Ugh. I'm gonna go drink

 **Surrender:** DON'T DRINK THE VODKA

 **SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Aaaand he didn't listen

 **AntMan:** Oof. I'm kind of glad I didn't go now

 **Surrender:** Oh that hurt

 **AntMan:** Besides, I kind of had fun hanging out with my girlfriend

 **Surrender:** Be careful not to smother her

 **Surrender:** She's pregnant, not dying

 **AntMan:** Oof. Tell that to morning sickness

 **AntMan:** Why do they call it that? 'Morning Sickness'? It doesn't just happen in the morning

 **Surrender:** I don't know man, don't ask me

 **AntMan:** But you're probably right, our relationship's a little strained right now

 **AntMan:** And if I smother her, it won't help anything

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, she could break up with you and you could both end up finding different people and you could totally be happy like that

 **AntMan:** What... even... what?

 **Surrender:** And that's why I don't like Wade

 **Deadpool:** Should've told yourself that 10 minutes ago

 **Surrender:** Shut the fuck up

 **Deadpool:** You already did that, with your mouth

 **Surrender:** I regret everything, I want to die

 **FutureCorpsman:** You could do what Garthan's doing and drink some alcohol

 **Surrender:** Sure

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay... I didn't actually expect him to take my advice...

 **AntMan:** You should probably...

 **FutureCorpsman:** Make sure they don't embarass themselves too much

 **AntMan:** Probably

 **FutureCorpsman:** Guess I'm the designated driver then

 **FutureCorpsman:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**AntMan:** Eek. Whatever, I'm going to bed. See you when I see you

 **FutureCorpsman:** See you

 **AntMan** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

* * *

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Sup fuckers

 **MightyShield:** Hello to you too, Tony

 **IronBoi:** I brought my boat

 **RedMagic:** We can see that

 **IronBoi:** And an inner tube

 **WarMachine:** We can also see that

 **IronBoi:** Goddammit, I just want people to have fun

 **Mindroid:** And that's certainly admirable, sir, but...

 **IronBoi:** But what?

 **Mindroid:** Did you really have... to use the boat that has 'Juicy Ass' on the side?

 **IronBoi:** Excuse you, Juicy Ass is a lovely name for a boat

 **WarMachine:** No, no it's not

 **IronBoi:** Fuck you then

 **BirbyBow:** Tony, I mean this in the best way possible

 **BirbyBow:** How drunk are you?

 **IronBoi:** Excuse you, I'mm very fucking sobet

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** No, no you're not

 **ThunderMan:** If he's not sober, then why are we letting him drive the boat?

 **BirbyBow:** You try arguing with drunk Tony, it ain't very fun

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Besides, we siphoned his gas so it's going to run out soon anways

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah. We can tell now

 **BirbyBow:** Huh, how?

 **SpideyDude:** BECAUSE WE JUST BROKE DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh shit, you're with Tony?

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, I've been trying to make sure he doesn't drink TOO much

 **SpideyDude:** I keep dumping out his vodka and filling it back up with caprisun, but he still somehow found some actual vodka

 **BirbyBow:** That is PERFECTLY good alcohol you're wasting, you know

 **SpideyDude:** Do you WANT Mr. Stark to be wasted?

 **BirbyBow:** Oof, yeah, that's not good

 **SpideyDude:** Right now he's going on about how he thinks Thor has a better car than him?

 **SpideyDude:** And now it's somehow coming back to his dad? And now he's crying?

 **SpideyDude:** What do I do?!

 **SpiceBabe:** Listen to what he has to say, make him feel heard

 **BirbyBow:** Jesus! I forgot you existed

 **SpiceBabe:** Well, I do have my own car so I found my way to the party

 **ThunderMan:** You could have ridden with us, friend!

 **SpiceBabe:** I saw what a mess that was, I'm not getting involved with that

 **BirbyBow:** Ow, that hurt

 **SpiceBabe:** I'm not wrong

 **BirbyBow:** Didn't say you were

 **ThunderMan:** I think what we need to discuss is how we plan to rescue Stark and the Spider Child from the middle of the lake?

 **SpideyDude:** Can you do it fast? It's getting cold and the lake is freaking me out

 **SpideyDude:** And Mr. Stark is talking about jumping out of the boat and swimming to shore, but I don't think that would end well

 **BirbyBow:** In this weather he'd probably end up getting hypothermia

 **SpideyDude:** I know! That's why I'm trying to stop him from jumping!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, you know the old dock that's by the beach where everyone is?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You mean the creepy one that's falling apart?

 **SmokeWeed:** Big oof

 **BirbyBow:** There's the stoner

 **SmokeWeed:** Hey, to be fair, I was logged in to the chat the whole damn time

 **SmokeWeed:** I was just busy... doing things

 **MightyShield:** Bruce, don't tell me that-

 **SmokeWeed:** I was the one handing out the edibles?

 **MightyShield:** Oh my god, you know, Marijuana is illegal

 **SmokeWeed:** So is this party

 **MightyShield:** Look, Marijuana can impair cognitive functions

 **SmokeWeed:** Only if your brain isn't fully developed

 **MightyShield:** Like ours?

 **SmokeWeed:** Better pot than alcohol

 **SpideyDude:** Can we have this discussion when Mr. Stark's decision making isn't impaired? And when I'm not at risk of dying from the cold?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Calm down Peter, we got this

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Continue on, Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** Thank you, Bucky. Okay, so the old dock has a dingy

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** I don't like where this is going, I just want to say that right now

 **BadAssSpiders:** So one of us uses the dingy to bring gas to Tony and Peter

 **MightyShield:** Okay sounds good

 **SpideyDude:** That sounds really great! But...

 **BirbyBow:** What is it now Peter?

 **SpideyDude:** Who's gonna steer the boat when we get the gas?

 **BadAssSpiders:** That's a good point, I hadn't thought about that...

 **ThunderMan:** Worry not, friends! I can do it!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Do all rich people know how to work boats?

 **ThunderMan:** Not at all! Tony and I just happen to practice together

 **MightyShield:** Now that I think about, Tony mentioned something like that a few times...

 **MightyShield:** I don't think it matters right now. So Thor, can you help them?

 **ThunderMan:** Of course! I'm on my way

 **SpideyDude:** Good, because I think Mr. Stark is gonna actually jump out of the boat soon

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Shit, does the dingy even have a motor?

 **ThunderMan:** I checked, and it does! Don't worry

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Well, that's one disaster averted

 **WarMachine:** Speak for yourself!

 **ThunderMan:** Before I go out to help young Peter and Tony, could you all keep updated on the party?

 **SmokeWeed:** Sure, I'll start

 **SmokeWeed:** So everyone's on the beach, dancing to shitty 2010's music

 **BirbyBow:** It's not that bad...

 **SmokeWeed:** Yes it is, and FINALLY someone brought decent food

 **BirbyBow:** Although the pizza is from Little Caeser's

 **BadAssSpiders:** Ugh. Barf.

 **SpiceBabe:** That's true, Little Caeser's certainly has the most disugsting pizza

 **IronBoi:** Y'all r assholess

 **BirbyBow:** Why?

 **IronBoi:** Thor wont lemme drive the boatt, and he tol me it was becaues of you guhys

 **RedMagic:** That's beacuse you're drunk, Stark

 **IronBoi:** No, Im not

 **Mindroid:** Sir, if you stand up and try to walk in a straight line, do you fall?

 **IronBoi:** Thats not a probelm because i cant stnad up

 **Mindroid:** And the fact that you can't do that sums up my reasons

 **IronBoi:** FuCK YOU

 **SpideyDude:** OH SHIT

 **BirbyBow:** What is it now, Peter?

 **SpideyDude:** HE JUMPED OUT THE BOAT

 **BirbyBow:** WHAT? WHO?!

 **SpideyDude:** MR. STARK!!! HE JUMPED OUT THE BOAT

 **SpideyDude:** AND HE'S TRYING TO SWIM TO SHORE WHAT DO I DO

 **SmokeWeed:** Shit, does anyone see where he is?!

 **SpideyDude:** Well, Thor and I are trying to look but it's too dark

 **MightyShield:** Okay, everyone to the edge of the lake NOW

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm there with Nat and Clint

 **SiberiaSoldier:** We don't see anything

 **MightyShield:** Are you saying that we lost Tony?!

 **BirbyBow:** You said it not me

 **MightyShield:** Shit! SHIT!

 **SpideyDude:** OKAy, so we see him!

 **MightyShield:** Oh thank goodness

 **SpideyDude:** Good news, we found him, bad news, he's now walking into the woods

 **BirbyBow:** Is that idiot trying to get himself killed?!

 **SpideyDude:** I don't know man

 **BirbyBow:** Well... shit

 **MightyShield:** Can someone go after him?!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** On it!

 **SpideyDude:** Okay, Thor is going to drive the boat to the ramp so he can hook it back up to Tony's car

 **SpideyDude:** Can someone please get Mr. Stark?

 **BadAssSpiders:** We're on it

 **BadAssSpiders:** But it's kind of hard when he has a 1/2 mile head start AND he's in the woods

 **SpideyDude:** I'm gonna go, please let me know when you find him

 **SpideyDude** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY OKAY, IT WASN'T MY IDEA TO SHIP KRAGLIN/WADE, SOMEONE REQUESTED IT. Also, I'm gonna need to add an extra part because this party is REAL long. Sorry for taking so long to update, again, it's been busy. I visited my grandma, I got a car (A FREAKING CAR) and I've been trying to figure out how Discord works. I GOT DISCORD. Woo. And I've also been trying to do a BNHA animatic but it's really shitty, lemme tell you that.


	25. It's time to fuckin' party: Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4/5 (yes there's 5 now)  
> 

**SpideyDude** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpideyDude:** Have ANY of you found Tony yet?

 **BirbyBow:** The hell you think? NO!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** IF WE DID, WE WOULD HAVE CONTACTED YOU!

 **MightyShield:** Calm down, Peter was just worried, no need to be so harsh

 **SpideyDude:** I'm just really, really concerned

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** We know... we're all worried

 **BirbyBow:** And it's only our group that's searching, and we can't even cover that much ground

 **BadAssSpiders:** To put it simply, we need more people

 **SmokeWeed:** I don't think too many people would be willing to help us

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Hey Steve...

 **MightyShield:** What is it?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** You might know some people who would be willing to help us out

 **MightyShield:** I don't know what you mean

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm talking about the new kids, the ones who you seem to be close with

 **MightyShield:** Are you serious? I don't think they'd wanna waste their first party looking for some drunk idiot

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Tony's OUR drunk idiot, and I think they would

 **MightyShield:** I can't say no to you

 **MightyShield:** I'll ask them

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Thanks Steve

 **BirbyBow:** As cute as this is, can you ask them already?

 **ThunderMan:** Yes, finding Stark should take precedent over relationships

 **WarMachine:** Can we shut this chat down for these conversations and use it for updates, please?

 **MightyShield:** Sorry! I'll go talk to them now

 **MightyShield** has left **Avengers Assemble**

* * *

**MightyShield** has entered **New Students**

 **MightyShield:** Hey everybody, you're all at the party, right?

 **Prince:** Of course

 **DeadMemes:** Totally

 **DrStrange:** I'm here, of course

 **MightyShield:** Good, because I might need a favor from you guys

 **DrStrange:** Spit it out

 **MightyShield:** So Tony Stark may be drunk and wandering around the woods and my friends need more people to help search for him

 **Prince:** Your friend... is drunk and lost in the woods

 **DeadMemes:** And you want US to help find him?

 **MightyShield:** Yes

 **MightyShield:** So... are you guys gonna help?

 **DeadMemes:** Sure, why not

 **Prince:** I owe you a great debt for helping me adjust to this new school, it would be my honor to help you

 **DrStrange:** This party is rather dull anyway

 **MightyShield:** Thank you guys!

 **MightyShield:** Okay, so he's in the woods, you know that area? He's in there

 **DrStrange:** Wouldn't it be more prudent to add us to your main chat?

 **MightyShield:** Oh... I didn't even think about that, thank you Stephen

 **DrStrange:** You're welcome, now, chop chop

 **MightyShield:** Okay, okay, I'm doing it

 **MightyShield** has left **New Students**

* * *

**MightyShield** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **MightyShield:** So... I got help

 **SpiceBabe:** And?

 **MightyShield:** I'm going to add them so that way they can update us if they find him

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Are you sure that's a good idea?

 **MightyShield:** Too late, already doing it

 **MightyShield** has added **DrStrange, Prince** and **DeadMemes** to **Avengers Assemble**

 **DeadMemes:** Oh my, are these your friends?

 **BirbyBow:** Oh my god there's two of them

 **DeadMemes:** Bitch please, there's only one of me

 **BirbyBow:** Someone kill me now, death would be a mercy

 **ThunderMan:** Death can wait until after we find Stark

 **BirbyBow:** But whyyy???

 **MightyShield:** Because his safety takes precedent over your hatred for memes

 **SmokeWeed:** Have I found another one?

 **DeadMemes:** Indeed you have

 **DrStrange:** Less memeing, more searching

 **DeadMemes:** UGh. Fine

 **DrStrange:** Thank you

 **DeadMemes:** Fuck you

 **Prince:** Sister, behave and look for the drunk man

 **DeadMemes:** FINE

 **RedMagic:** Can we just find Stark already?

 **Mindroid:** I would much prefer it if we knew Sir was safe and sound

 **MightyShield:** Yeah, let's look for Tony

 **SpideyDude:** Please let us know if you find him!

 **DeadMemes:** Can do!

 **SpideyDude** has left **Avengers Assemble**

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** So... are you guys over it yet?

 **SuperNova:** We freaking caught you n Wade mkaing out, don act soo innocent

 **Surrender:** Fucking hell, how much did he have to drink?

 **SuperNova:** Fuck youu thats how mcuh i had

 **Surrender:** Christ

 **FutureCorpsman:** I tried to stop him but it was too late

 **FutureCorpsman:** He's been traumatized

 **Surrender:** Okay, I get it, it was weird for everyone

 **FutureCorpsman:** I don't know, you seemed pretty comfortable with it

 **Surrender:** Shut up Rhomann

 **FutureCorpsman:** Crap, I lost Garthan

 **Deadpool:** Let him cut loose

 **FutureCorpsman:** Are you kidding me? If I let him do anything embarassing, he'll kill me

 **Surrender:** That's true...

 **FutureCorpsman:** Whatever, I'll just go find him then

 **Surrender:** Yeah, you do that

 **FutureCorpsman:** Screw you

 **Deadpool:** Sorry, the only one screwing him will be me

 **Surrender:** Oh my god, I hate you

 **Deadpool:** Are you sure about that?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shit, I just saw Garthan near Irani, I gotta go

 **Deadpool:** Oh boo

 **Surrender:** Oof, that's not good

 **AntMan** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntMan:** Okay, you guys are blowing up my phone with notifications

 **AntMan:** I can't sleep, so what's the dealio?

 **Surrender:** We're dealing with the aftermath of some stuff, and Garthan got drunk, so that's fun

 **AntMan:** Wait, he actually drank? Like, drank alcohol?

 **Deadpool:** As far as we know

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, so I lost sight of him, last I saw he was going into the woods

 **Surrender:** ...do you need us to help you find him?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Maybe a little bit

 **Deadpool:** Knew it

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shut up and help me find him before he completely embarasses himself

 **Deadpool:** Fine, fine, we're going

 **Surrender:** Ugh, on my way

 **FutureCorpsman:** Thank you!

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, ok

 **FutureCorpsman:** See you when I see you

 **FutureCorpsman** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

* * *

**FutureCorpsman** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, have you guys found him yet?

 **Surrender:** We've heard some crashing in the woods but we haven't found anybody yet

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, I can confirm that

 **AntMan** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntMan:** Okay, it's clear I'm not going to get any sleep tonight, should I just come down there?

 **FutureCorpsman:** It would be a big help

 **AntMan:** I can't believe Garthan is causing this much trouble

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, he's either trying to keep us from getting into trouble or he's getting into way more of it than any of us combined

 **Surrender:** Ain't that the truth

 **Deadpool:** Hey! Someone's coming

 **Surrender:** Shit, I'll be right there

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

* * *

**AntMan:** Hey... guys? Where are you? It's been a while

 **Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Sorry, we didn't find Garthan

 **Deadpool:** We found Tony fucking Stark

 **AntMan:** Funny. I don't remember 'fucking' being his middle name

 **Deadpool:** Oh haha, so funny. Go shove a stick up your ass, we have Tony Stark here

 **AntMan:** Jeez, calm down Wade

 **Surrender:** We're in a moral dilemma

 **Surrender:** Do we help him or get information that we can use to blackmail him?

 **AntMan:** What is it with you people and the blackmail

 **Deadpool:** You say 'you people' like you're not one of us, I got some news for you buckaroo, you would be on the Christmas card if we had one

 **Surrender:** Was that a-

 **Deadpool:** 50% off reference? Yes, yes it was

 **Surrender:** Oof, that was great

 **Deadpool:** 'Course it was, because I am the best

 **Surrender:** Shut up Wade, we're still in a moral dilemma

 **AntMan:** Just... just help him

 **Surrender:** Do I have to?

 **AntMan:** YES! Or so help me, I'll tell Garthan when he's sober what you did

 **Deadpool:** Fiiiiinnnnneee, but I'm not happy about it

 **AntMan:** And I don't give a shit

 **Deadpool:** Whatever! I said we'd do it

 **Surrender:** You're gonna be a good dad

 **AntMan:** Doesn't hurt that I have impulsive little shits to practice bossing around

 **Deadpool:** Awwww, you care

 **AntMan:** Shut up, you psycho little shit, and do I what I told you to

 **Deadpool:** I take it back

 **Surrender:** Okay, okay, we'll find one of his friends to dump him on

 **Deadpool:** It's easier now that he's passed out

 **Surrender:** He's really heavy though

 **AntMan:** I think it would be easier if you weren't texting while you're carrying him

 **Surrender:** Fine fine

 **AntMan:** Thank you kids

 **Deadpool:** Shut up dad

 **AntMan:** Oof

 **AntMan:** I'll be there in a bit, though, gotta go because texting and driving kills, bye

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

* * *

**SpideyDude** has entered ****Avengers Assemble****

 **SpideyDude:** Shit, does anyone know where the hell Tony is?!

 **SpideyDude:** I'm so worried

 **WarMachine:** I know, and so are we, but you gotta calm down otherwise you're not gonna help anyone

 **SpideyDude:** I know, but even with Thor and I joining the search, we have no idea where he went

 **SpiceBabe:** Really, Peter, it's ok

 **SpideyDude:** You say that, but it's not

 **SpideyDude:** I should've tried harder to keep him on the boat

 **SpideyDude:** What if he dies?!

 **SpideyDude:** Then it'll be my fault

 **RedMagic:** Peter, he's not going to die, we're going to find him

 **Mindroid:** Sir may be stupid, but he's smart enough not to die

 **Mindroid:** Even in an inebriated state

 **BirbyBow:** If that were true he wouldn't of jumped off the fucking boat

 **RedMagic:** Clint!

 **BirbyBow:** What?

 **RedMagic:** We're trying to console the kid and you're not helping

 **BirbyBow:** Lying to him is going to help nothing

 **RedMagic:** I'm not lying!

 **MightyShield:** FOCUS! PLEASE!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** No wonder we haven't found him yet

 **BadAssSpiders:** We keep getting distracted

 **BadAssSpiders:** As much as we all care about Tony, this is no place for emotions

 **WarMachine:** If we want to find him, we have to remain level-headed, otherwise, we could mess up

 **ThunderMan:** We could overlook something key to finding Stark, we can't be so easily distracted

 **SpideyDude:** Right, right, sorry...

 **SpiceBabe:** Peter, we all care about him, and so do you, work with us

 **SpideyDude:** Okay

 **DeadMemes:** I really hate to interrupt this precious moment

 **DrStrange:** No you don't

 **DeadMemes:** But I heard something in the woods, just now

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Is it Tony?!

 **DeadMemes:** I don't know, okay?!

 **DeadMemes:** It's getting cold and it's dark and all I hear is some rumbling and twigs snapping

 **BirbyBow:** Sounds like the start of an 80s zombie horror movie

 **DeadMemes:** And thank you for putting that into my head

 **BirbyBow:** I do my part to inconvenience the memers

 **MightyShield:** Not the time or place, Clint

 **RedMagic:** Even I agree with that

 **DrStrange:** It's close to me, I can hear it

 **DeadMemes:** Don't get eaten!

 **DrStrange:** Thanks for your concern

 **DeadMemes:** You're welcome

 **DrStrange:** Again, it's called sarcasm

 **BirbyBow:** Doesn't this guy remind you of anybody you know

 **DrStrange:** Shut up bird boy

 **BirbyBow:** Christ, like Stark 2.0

 **DrStrange:** ...thank you?

 **DrStrange:** I'm not quite sure how to respond to that

 **WarMachine:** Just... take it as a compliment

 **DrStrange:** O...kay, then

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Do you see who it is?

 **DrStrange:** I hear somebody, they're mumbling

 **DrStrange:** I'm about to see who they are

 **DeadMemes:** Did you see him?

 **DrStrange:** It's not Tony Stark

 **BirbyBow:** Dammit

 **BadAssSpiders:** And I thought we were getting close to finding him, too

 **DrStrange:** I don't know this persons name but I've seen him around school

 **DrStrange:** I've seen him with Irani Rael and he's on the student council

 **BirbyBow:** We're gonna need more than that to go off of

 **DrStrange:** Um, he has short dark hair?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** That describes a lot of people, you know

 **DrStrange:** I'm trying, okay??

 **MightyShield:** Please be more respectful to Bucky

 **DrStrange:** ...sure

 **DrStrange:** Can someone take a look at him then because I have no idea who he could be

 **ThunderMan:** Tell us your location and surely someone will help

 **DrStrange:** Ok, so I'm by the old camp, you know, the one that's been shut down for years

 **BadAssSpiders:** Okay, then, I'm on my way

 **DrStrange:** Thank you, at least one of you has the decency to help

 **MightyShield:** Calm down Strange, we get it

 **DrStrange:** Very well then

 **DrStrange:** For now

 **Prince:** Friends, it would not do us any good to fight

 **DrStrange:** F I N E

* * *

**MightyShield:** Okay, Nat, are you there yet?

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm sorry, you try getting around a wall of poison ivy and see how you like it

 **DrStrange:** He's still passed out, his phone keeps buzzing but it's locked so I can't answer it

 **BadAssSpideres:** Can you try to guess his password?

 **DrStrange:** Um, no? I don't know the guy, and it probably has limited password attempts

 **BadAssSpiders:** I don't think it matters too much anyways

 **BadAssSpiders:** Me or someone else will be able to identify him and drop him with his friends or something

 **DrStrange:** Good, it's getting cold and all I can think of are Zombie movies

 **DrStrange:** Thank you for that, Shuri

 **DeadMemes:** You're very welcome for that

 **DrStrange:** It wasn't a compliment

 **DeadMemes:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

 **DrStrange:** I find myself genuinely hating you more and more every day

 **SmokeWeed:** According to all known laws of aviation, there should be no way for a bee to fly

 **BirbyBow:** And I actually hate you

 **SmokeWeed:** (That's not news) Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway

 **MightyShield:** There is a time and place for memers and anti-memers, but NOW IS NOT THE TIME

 **BirbyBow:** Sorry sorry, really sorry m(_ _)m

 **SmokeWeed:** That is such a shitty emoticon

 **BirbyBow:** You know what? Shut the fuck up, Bruce, I don't want to hear it

 **SmokeWeed:** Oof. That one hurt real bad

 **BirbyBow:** No one needs your bullshit, Bruce

 **MightyShield:** I have been trying to keep us from going at each other's throats but it's CLEARLY not working. We NEED TO STICK TOGETHER

 **MightyShield:** I get it, this is a tough time for all of us, but there is ABSOLUTELY no way that we are going to be able to accomplish anything if we can't even work together

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Steve...

 **MightyShield:** What?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Are you okay?

 **MightyShield:** I'm fine

 **SiberiaSoldier:** No you're not, you're on edge, and you're snapping at people, it's unlike you

 **MightyShield:** I know, I know

 **SiberiaSoldier:** You're not the only one worried, you know...

 **MightyShield:** I know that...

 **SiberiaSoldier:** It's ok to feel like concerned, you don't have to pretend to be strong like this

 **MightyShield:** Thank you, but I need to do this

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Okay, just know I support you

 **MightyShield:** I love you

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I love you too

 **SpideyDude:** I swear they're on the same wavelength, it's so weird

 **MightyShield:** Thanks for ruining the moment

 **BirbyBow:** Your fault for having a moment in the group chat

 **MightyShield:** Er

 **BirbyBow:** Ha! I win

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Shut up

 **BirbyBow:** Fine

 **BadAssSpiders:** Alright, I'm there

 **DrStrange:** Took you long enough

 **BadAssSpiders:** If you weren't one of Steve's friends I would kick your ass

 **DeadMemes:** Eek, that isn't good

 **DrStrange:** You're not the one she threatened

 **DeadMemes:** Doesn't mean I can't feel bad for you

 **DrStrange:** Just... leave me alone

 **DeadMemes:** Hell no, you're stuck with me

 **DrStrange:** And that by no means makes me happy

 **DeadMemes:** You're welcome

 **BadAssSpiders:** Lemme take a look at the kid already, you haven't even noticed that I'm right in front of you

 **DrStrange:** Sorry

* * *

**MightyShield:** So, who is it?

 **BadAssSpiders:** It's Garthan Saal

 **BirbyBow:** Uhhhh, who?

 **BadAssSpiders:** He's on the student council and in Irani's 'friend' group

 **BirbyBow:** Oh, him? We should probably dump him somewhere

 **MightyShield:** No, we're not, we're going to give him to one of his friends

 **BirbyBow:** I mean... do we have to?

 **MightyShield:** Imagine if someone else found you drunk and passed out, wouldn't you want them to give you to us?

 **BirbyBow:** ...

 **BirbyBow:** Now why'd you have to make me feel bad

 **MightyShield:** Because you were acting like a dick

 **BirbyBow:** ...fair

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Whatever, let's give him to Irani and then look for Tony some more

 **MightyShield:** Good plan

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Alright then, let's go!

 **SpideyDude:** Speaking of this guy, I just met one of his friends in the woods, they're searching for him

 **BadAssSpiders:** Is it Rhomann Dey?

 **SpideyDude:** Uhhh, I think?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Can you tell him that we found him

 **SpideyDude:** We told him and he seemed super relieved

 **ThunderMan:** I have great news friends!

 **BirbyBow:** Yeah?

 **ThunderMan:** This Rhomann fellow also knows where Stark is

 **BirbyBow:** You're shitting me

 **ThunderMan:** I am not shitting you, my friend

 **SpideyDude:** Yeah, the guy said that one of his other friends found Tony while they were looking for their friends

 **BadAssSpiders:** Why don't we all meet up near that little beach by the dock then?

 **SpideyDude:** He said sure and he's texting his friends know now

 **SpiceBabe:** I'm glad that somebody found Tony

 **WarMachine:** You have no idea how relieved I am

 **MightyShield:** So am I, but we have to get him first

 **Mindroid:** Alright then, we should be on our way

 **RedMagic:** Sure, see you guys there

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Do you guys have ANY idea of where Garthan could be?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, so I have good news, I know where Garthan is

 **Deadpool:** Fucking finally

 **FutureCorpsman:** On the downside... Tony's friends have him

 **AntMan:** Shit

 **FutureCorpsman:** We can meet up on the beach by the dock to swap

 **Surrender:** Why you gotta make it sound like a drug deal

 **FutureCorpsman:** Whatever, just get Tony Stark over here

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, whatever

 **AntMan:** Make it snappy, kiddos

 **Surrender:** Yes dad

 **Deadpool:** Anything you say... daddy

 **AntMan:** Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, why did you have to make it weird

 **Deadpool:** Bitch, that's my shtick

 **AntMan:** I hate you

 **Deadpool:** Can't hate one of your children

 **AntMan:** Yes I can

 **FutureCorpsman:** Can you guys hurry up? Some of them are already here and it's getting really awkward

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah

 **AntMan:** It seems I came all the way down here for nothing

 **Surrender:** You can still hang with us

 **AntMan:** ...sure...

 **AntMan:** Whatever, lets go

 **Surrender:** k

* * *

**MightyShield:** Okay, most of us are here, and some of them are here

 **RedMagic:** Sorry that you have to update us

 **SpiceBabe:** Don't worry, it's nobody's fault that Vis tripped and twisted his ankle

 **RedMagic:** I'm even more surprised that he seems to be more worried about Stark

 **SpiceBabe:** Well those two have known each other since childhood, so it's not a big surprise

 **RedMagic:** True

 **MightyShield:** Oh my goodness, the ones that have Tony arrived

 **BadAssSpiders:** So did we

 **RedMagic:** Do you have him?

 **MightyShield:** Yeah, he just seems a bit out of it

 **RedMagic:** Did you hand over that other guy

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, he woke up a bit and recognized him

 **BadAssSpiders:** He started mumbling about 'those goddamn idiots, freaking not telling us anything'

 **BadAssSpiders:** Then he walked over to them, tried to hit one of them, hugged him and then fell asleep again

 **BadAssSpiders:** It was a bit odd

 **BadAssSpiders:** Scott Lang was there too, which is odd because I never see him hang out Student Council members

 **BadAssSpiders:** Unless...

 **SpideyDude:** Unless what?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Unless these guys are the SSS

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You don't think...

 **BadAssSpiders:** It is just a theory, but I'll look into it

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Me too

 **SpideyDude:** I'm just happy that Mr. Stark is safe

 **MightyShield:** So are we, kid

 **BirbyBow:** I think it's time to go home, we've had a lot of excitement for one night

 **BadAssSpiders:** Goodnight everybody

 **MightyShield:** Night

 **MightyShield** has left **Avengers Assemble**

* * *

**Surrender:** I can't believe Garthan tried to punch me

 **FutureCorpsman:** I can't get over the fact that he hugged you

 **AntMan:** Okay kids, let's go home

 **Surrender:** Nah, I'm gonna supervise the rest of the party and make sure it isn't totally shitty

 **Deadpool:** I'm gonna help you then

 **FutureCorpsman:** 'Help', sure...

 **Surrender:** Shut up

 **AntMan:** I'm gonna go home then, see you tommorow then

 **Surrender:** See you, I guess

 **Deadpool:** Bye bye, Daddy

 **AntMan:** You are my least favorite child

 **FutureCorspman:** Who's your favorite?

 **AntMan:** The one who will let me go home so I can get the fuck to sleep

 **Surrender:** That answer your question?

 **AntMan:** Goodnight, I'm going to go home before I fall into a coma

 **Surrender:** Whatever. Goodbye

 **Deadpool:** Bye

 **AntMan** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, that took a while to write. I'm still up in the air if I want to make Kraglin/Wade a real ship because it is a TOTAL crack pairing, but now I want to. I'm about to take a long trip with my family and then I have to go back to school, which isn't fun for anybody. I might take a week or two to update next, but who knows. Thanks for reading.


	26. It's time to fuckin' party: Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 5/5  
> BugOut - Mantis  
> NovaPrime - Irani Rael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE! READ THE END NOTE!

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Oh my fucking god, now that my many emergencies are over, how's the party?

 **TrashPanda:** You were gone for an entire hour, what the hell happened?

 **Surrender:** I cried, I made out with someone, then one of my friends got drunk and got lost in the woods and we had to find him, and then we found Tony Stark and his friends found my friend, so then we basically had to do a drug deal but with people, and now I'm here

 **TrashPanda:** You made out with someone?!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Your friend got lost in the woods?!

 **Surrender:** Yeah, it was kind of a mess

 **TrashPanda:** I still can't get over the fact that someone willingly made out with YOU

 **Surrender:** Fuck you

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I am kind of interested in knowing who you had a romantic encounter with

 **Surrender:** It wasn't 'romantic', it just happened

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** It was Wade Wilson wasn't it?

 **Surrender:** How the hell did you know?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** It was a simple deduction, he was with you when you freaked out and given the timeline you gave, it seemed logical

 **Surrender:** Damn you and your ability to put things together

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** It was nothing much, I just used my brain

 **StarMunch:** thats my girrl

 **Surrender:** And he's still drunk

 **StarMunch:** you know itt

 **Surrender:** Whatever, asshole

 **StarMunch:** oof

 **Surrender:** Shut up

 **IAmInvisible:** Hello Kraglin!

 **Surrender:** Hey Drax, how're the kiddos?

 **IAmInvisible:** They are fine, they seem to have amassed a fine harem

 **Surrender:** ...harem?

 **Surrender:** What the fuck 

**Surrender:** What the hell even fucking happened

 **Surrender:** These children are too young to have a harem. Drax, you FUCKING LET THEM HAVE A HAREM?!

 **IAmInvisible:** What else do you call a group of people following someone around?

 **Surrender:** A group, Drax, a group

 **IAmInvisible:** Then they have amassed a fine group of people

 **Surrender:** Better

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** That went from 1 to 100

 **Surrender:** Shut up

 **Surrender:** I've had a real long night

 **TrashPanda:** We can tell, asshole

 **Surrender:** Oh, your words wound me so much

 **TrashPanda:** No one likes a smartass

 **StarMunch:** Except Wadee Wilson apparentlyy

 **TrashPanda:** Shots fired

 **Surrender:** I hate this fucking family

 **TrashPanda:** Not the only one

 **StarMunch:** First of alll Im very hutr

 **Surrender:** Don't be, you hate us too

 **StarMunch:** NOOooo I luve you guyys

 **TrashPanda:** ...I may care for you guys too

 **Surrender:** I'm not saying anything

 **StarMunch:** Come onnn....

 **TrashPanda:** You know you love us

 **Surrender:** FUCK OFF

 **StarMunch:** Comee onn... bro?/

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah bro

 **Surrender:** You guys are the literal worst

 **Surrender:** But I guess we're brothers...

 **Surrender:** So... I kind of care

 **StarMunch:** WE WINN!

 **TrashPanda:** Hells yeah

 **Surrender:** You know, there's a 'hell yeah' and a 'heavens no', why isn't there a 'purgatory maybe'

 **TrashPanda:** ...

 **TrashPanda:** No more Tumblr for you

 **Surrender:** FUck you, I do what I want

 **TrashPanda:** Not if it means shit like that

 **Surrender:** I said it one, and I'll say it again, I hate this FUckING FAmiLY

 **StarMunch:** But we're FaMiLY

 **Surrender:** That don't mean I have to LIKE you

 **StarMunch:** awwwwwwww

 **TrashPanda:** Great, now you hurt his feelings

 **TrashPanda:** You can deal with him crying

 **Surrender:** Shit fuck no

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** It's fine, I got it

 **Surrender:** You are an actual goddess

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Of course I am

 **TrashPanda:** Hot damn

 **StarMunch:** thats my girrlfriend ur talking about buddy, be prepared to throww ur goddamnn hands upL

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** You don't need to defend my honor, Peter

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** If anyone insults me in any meaningful way, I'll simply break their arms

 **StarMunch:** Nah, i know u can handle urse;flf babe, im just pissedd at Rockett

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** What else was I expecting

 **TrashPanda:** I don't know but you're obviously dissapointed

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Wow

 **TrashPanda:** I have no respect for anybody

 **IAmInvisible:** We could tell

 **Surrender:** Yeah, that's pretty obvious

 **TrashPanda:** Oh, that hurt so bad

 **StarMunch:** cool it wiht the saracasmm dudee

 **BugOut:** dont be mean 

**TrashPanda:** Like I'm going to accept advice from a guy who got wasted after ONE SHOT

 **StarMunch:** FUck YOU

 **TrashPanda:** And you have no good counter argument so I win

 **StarMunch:** ur an asshoile

 **TrashPanda:** You know it

 **Surrender:** Just tell me how the party's doing

 **TrashPanda:** It's fine, you dumbass

 **Surrender:** No unhappy crowds?

 **TrashPanda:** I mean, there were for a little bit because there was no decent food, but now we have chips and pizza and alcohol so everything's fine

 **Surrender:** Thank goodness

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, and Tony Stark started pulling people behind his boat on an inner tube for a while, so that was fun

 **Surrender:** You're kidding

 **TrashPanda:** No, I'm not. And that's not even the best part, his boat was named 'Juicy Ass'

 **Surrender:** ...

 **Surrender:** Is it bad to say that doesn't even surprise me?

 **TrashPanda:** Well, that makes one of us

 **Surrender:** So people had fun

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, there was a lot of dancing

 **Surrender:** So Quill's music wasn't completely terrible?

 **TrashPanda:** For the most part, there was some shitty 70's music but meh

 **Surrender:** Okay, thanks

 **StarMunch:** dont think i didnt see u danciang to southenrn nights Rokcet

 **TrashPanda:** You'll forget you saw that if you know what's good for you

 **Surrender:** Bitch please, as if he could ever let that go

 **TrashPanda:** Shut up

 **Surrender:** Oh wow, how you wound me

 **TrashPanda:** Sarcastic motherfucker

 **Surrender:** Got that right

 **TrashPanda:** Whatever, go hang out with your nerd friends

 **Surrender:** We're not friends!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oh please, we saw your Karaoke night with them, you guys are definitely friends

 **Surrender:** Goddammit

 **TrashPanda:** And after tonight, you and Wade might be more than friends

 **Surrender:** *internal and external screaming*

 **TrashPanda:** My mission has been accomplished

 **TrashPanda:** See you guys

 **TrashPanda** has left **Gurdians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Surrender:** Wow. I am betrayed

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Don't be, we were all thinking it

 **Surrender:** Wow. That doesn't help at all.

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oh calm down

 **Surrender:** Whatever, I'm going to text Rhomann

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** YOU ARE SO FRIENDS WITH THEM

 **Surrender:** Shut the fuck up

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Can't stop the truth

 **Surrender:** Fuck off

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Have fun with your _friends_

 **Surrender:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** I'm done with my brothers, I swear

 **FutureCorpsman:** Awwww, what's wrong

 **Surrender:** They keep teasing me about Wade

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well... I mean... who wouldn't tease you?

 **Surrender:** Goddammit I keep getting betrayed

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's fine, I'm just driving home with a wasted Garthan

 **Surrender:** Fair enough

 **Surrender:** Hey... did you say something to Irani about us being in each others company?

 **FutureCorpsman:** You mean us being friends?

 **Surrender:** ...ok

 **FutureCorpsman:** No, why?

 **Surrender:** Well she's coming over to me right now

 **Surrender:** She's asking me to hand over my phone

 **FutureCorpsman:** Give it to her man

 **Surrender:** BUT WHY

 **FutureCorpsman:** She can make your life miserable if you don't do what she says

 **Surrender:** Good point, lemme close out real fast tho

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman:** Wow, that was fast, you only just logged out

 **FutureCorpsman:** So what'd she want?

 **Surrender:** You're speaking to her

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...

 **FutureCorpsman:** IRANI?!

 **Surrender:** Yes, Dey, I'm Irani

 **FutureCorpsman:** Hi... ma'am

 **Surrender:** Don't worry, I'll stop using your friend's phone in a second

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh umm...

 **Surrender** has added **NovaPrime** to **Secret Shipping Society**

 **NovaPrime:** Much better

 **Surrender:** I'm so sorry dude, I didn't know that she would do this

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh no big deal, I'M JUST SCREAMING

 **NovaPrime:** Screaming?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I'm just... a little surprised that you... you know, added yourself to this chat

 **NovaPrime:** Well, I was growing suspicious of you and Garthan, your GPA dropped .3, which is unheard of for you two

 **Surrender:** Wait, your GPA is dropping?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, we got a B on a few assignments because we wanted to hang out with you guys instead of work

 **Surrender:** You guys... you didn't have to do that, I know how much having a perfect GPA means to you two 

**FutureCorpsman:** It's fine, because we're friends, right?

 **Surrender:** Yeah... friends.

 **NovaPrime:** Can I continue?

 **FutureCorpsman:** OH! Yes, ma'am

 **NovaPrime:** And I thought that was odd, so I started digging into what you two were doing, and I found out you were hanging out with Scott Lang, Kraglin Obfonteri and Wade Wilson, which seemed weird. Until I discovered that you are all in SSS together

 **Surrender:** Shit, how did you find out

 **NovaPrime:** Well, I wasn't really sure until I saw the chat name

 **Surrender:** ...oops

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah... 'oops'

 **Surrender:** FUCK OFF

 **FutureCorpsman:** DUDE. SHe's right there, show some respect

 **NovaPrime:** Don't mind me, I'm just reading through the chat logs

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh shit

 **Surrender:** WHy don't you 'show some respect'

 **FutureCorpsman:** YOU TRY BEING CALM WHEN YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE IS IN JEOPARDY

 **Surrender:** Doo da doo, doo, da, doo-doo-doo, doo doo doo, doo, da, doo doo, da DOOOOOoooo

 **FutureCorpsman:** Why are you typing out the Mii them?

 **Surrender:** BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THE JEOPARDY THEME GOES LIKE

 **FutureCorpsman:** It goes like 'doo da doo, bum, doo da doo, bum, doo da doo, DA, buh!-buh-buh-buh-buh '

 **Surrender:** Goddammit, I'm off my game tonight

 **FutureCorpsman:** You're romance game seems on point with Wade

 **Surrender:** BETRAYED, I AM BETRAYED

 **FutureCorpsman:** How the hell do you think I feel?

 **Surrender:** Mmmmmmmmm FUCK OFF

 **FutureCorpsman:** Real mature

 **Surrender:** You're one to talk about maturity with all your teasing

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shut up

 **Surrender:** Oh come on, just trying to lighten the mood

 **FutureCorpsman:** Too late, my mood is forever: I'M FUCKED

 **Surrender:** That's rough buddy

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...I hate you

 **Surrender:** You wound me

 **FutureCorpsman:** You are why this is happenning

 **Surrender:** What you mean

 **FutureCorpsman:** We're a top secret society that could get expelled if we were found out and you NAME OUR CHAT 'SECRET SHIPPING SOCIETY'?! That was the worst idea since posting the Avengers chat logs

 **Surrender:** It was a good idea at the time and you know it

 **FutureCorpsman:** QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM

 **Surrender:** Awww, look at the little baby being all frustrated

 **FutureCorpsman:** You are one of the worst friends I've ever had

 **Surrender:** I'm one of the ONLY friends you've ever had

 **FutureCorpsman:** I didn't ask to be exposed like this

 **Surrender:** Too late buckaroo

 **FutureCorpsman:** EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **NovaPrime:** I have finished

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...and?

 **NovaPrime:** I do not approve of your actions

 **FutureCorpsman:** I figured

 **NovaPrime:** However, because of your association with these people, your mental health has definitely improved

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...what?

 **NovaPrime:** It seemed quite obvious that before you became friends with these people, you and Garthan were on the road towards a mental breakdown

 **Surrender:** Oh that's not good

 **FutureCorpsman:** Ehehehehe

 **Surrender:** Dude, I'm serious, that's seriously NOT OKAY

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...I know

 **NovaPrime:** In fact, I was even considering not letting you join my (father's) company

 **FutureCorpsman:** WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! DO YOU NOT SEE MY NAME?! THAT'S MY FUTURE!!!

 **NovaPrime:** But in trying to secure that future, you were hurting yourself

 **FutureCorpsman:** But... but...

 **NovaPrime:** Despite what people think, I do care about those who hang around me. Please, keep yourself safe

 **Surrender:** Awwww, look at that

 **NovaPrime:** Now, Kraglin, we have much to talk about

 **Surrender:** What?! Me? No way

 **NovaPrime:** About SSS

 **Surrender:** Oh shit

 **NovaPrime:** I want input

 **Surrender:** ...input?

 **NovaPrime:** I do need some way to relax once in a while

 **Surrender:** ...okay

 **Surrender:** I just saw my life flash before my eyes

 **FutureCorpsman:** And?

 **Surrender:** I have a shitty life

 **FutureCorpsman:** Cool, I gotta get Garthan home now, he's waking up

 **Surrender:** See you guys

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, see you

 **FutureCorpsman** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope you liked this arc. This will be kickstarting other arcs off, including the Tony romance, so be prepared. ALSO: IMPORTANT NOTE! VERY IMPORTANT NOTE! PLEASE READ, SERIOUSLY, JUST READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If y'all wanna send me fanart or other things fan-related about this series, send it to blahblahfanart@outlook.com, so... yeah.


	27. What the shit S7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VOLTRON SEASON 7 discourse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved the new season, I know most people didn't, but I did. And btw, this is right after the party.  
> NovaPrime- Irani Rael

**SuperNova** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **SuperNova:** FUcking hell, how much did I drink

 **Surrender:** It's 8 in the morning, how are you still alive? You should be massively hungover

 **AntMan:** And you should be asleep, but NOOO

 **Surrender:** SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

 **AntMan:** You need sleep to function

 **Surrender:** FUck you!

 **AntMan:** You are an ungrateful child

 **SuperNova:** oKay, but I didn't sleep so that's why I'm up

 **AntMan:** You goddamn children, and your refusing to sleep

 **SuperNova:** BUt SeASON SEvEn Of VOLtROn

 **Surrender:** SHIT ITS UP?!

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, I watched it when I got home, and I just kind of kept drinking coffee, but I'm really woozy

 **SuperNova:** BUT I NEED TO DISCUSS IT

 **Surrender:** Okay, I already know what happens because I read spoilers

 **SuperNova:** YAY!

 **FutureCorpsman:** I watched it with Garthan

 **AntMan:** I don't know what the hell Voltron is

 **Surrender:** Fair enough, most people don't

 **Surrender:** But like, what the shit S7 

**SuperNova:** I liked it

 **Surrender:** Shut up, you were drunk and you have poor decision making skills

 **SuperNova:** Okay, that hurt

 **Surrender:** Then don't fucking contradict me on this shit, man

 **SuperNova:** BUT IT WAS GOOD

 **Surrender:** Queerbaiting, all queerbaiting

 **SuperNova:** Shiro's gay, I'm 99.99% sure Ezor and Zethrid are gay, so...

 **Surrender:** But Adam died!

 **SuperNova:** YOU KNOW WHO DIED?! LOTOR!

 **Surrender:** ...fair point

 **SuperNova:** Adam had like one fucking scene, that shouldn't be enough to override that they KILLED LOTOR

 **Surrender:** Goddammit, we can argue about this later

 **SuperNova:** You got a Hunk arc, you got some Lance family because Veronica's cool AF

 **Surrender:** Okay, Veronica was pretty neat

 **SuperNova:** And the wolf got named, AND THEY GOT TO GO BACK TO EARTH, AND THEY'RE HAPPY

 **Surrender:** But they're forcing Allurance

 **SuperNova:** What can you do? You're not a writer trying to please thousands of different people, come on

 **Surrender:** ...damn you and your rationality

 **SuperNova:** Damn straight

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Whatddup bitches

 **Surrender:** Not much, Garthan's being a prick

 **SuperNova:** Not being a prick, I'm just being right

 **Surrender:** ...prick

 **SuperNova:** Shush it, at least I didn't try and suck face with Wade

 **Surrender:** I aM OFFEnDEd

 **Deadpool:** Awww

 **Surrender:** Shut up

 **Deadpool:** Aww, look at the little tsundere

 **Surrender:** Shut the fuck up, I'm not a tsundere!

 **Deadpool:** LOOK AT YOU

 **Surrrender:** Goddammit, I can never win

 **AntMan:** Welcome to life, son

 **Surrender:** Goddammit, just for that I'm gonna do this

 **AntMan:** Do what?

 **Surrender** has changed the username **AntMan** to **AntDad**

 **AntDad:** Honestly, that's not too bad

 **Surrender:** Well, I don't wanna be a TOTAL asshole, like Garthan

 **SuperNova:** ...thanks

 **Surrender:** You're welcome, buddy

 **SuperNova:** It's called sarcasm

 **Surrender:** And it's called not giving a fuck about sarcasm

 **SuperNova:** Fair point

 **AntDad:** So... did anyone besides me get sleep

 **NovaPrime:** I did

 **Surrender:** HO-LY SHIT, I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE

 **SuperNova:** Umm, who's this?

 **Deadpool:** Yeah

 **FutureCorpsman:** You guys didn't check the chat log?

 **Deadpool:** It takes too long

 **FutureCorpsman:** So that's... uh... Irani... actually

 **SuperNova:** ...

 **SuperNova:** wat

 **Surrender:** Yeah, it's your future boss, Irani

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, yeah, I read that

 **SuperNova:** I'm just... processing...

 **AntDad:** He's broken, you broke him, you broke your brother

 **Surrender:** Whatever, it's not your my real dad

 **AntDad:** Oof, that hurt, son

 **Surrender:** IT'S NOT A PHASE

 **Deadpool:** Are you bringing out all the emo stops?

 **Surrender:** Quiet, I'm having fun

 **Deadpool:** You're hurting dad's feelings

 **AntDad:** At least one of my children acknowledges me

 **Deadpool:** Yeah! And I'm the shitty child

 **AntDad:** Well, you're better than Kraglin now

 **Deadpool:** Hell yes!

 **Surrender:** Hey... you're not supposed to have favorites!

 **AntDad:** Quiet, 5th favorite child

 **Surrender:** ...fifth?

 **AntDad:** It goes 1: Bio Child, 2:Rhomann, 3: Garthan, 4: Wade, and now 5: Kraglin

 **Surrender:** ...Rhomann's your favorite out of all of us?!

 **AntDad:** Yes, because he doesn't do shitty things like mouth off and get wasted at parties, cough, Garthan, cough

 **SuperNova:** But I'm still ranked above Wade and Kraglin

 **AntDad:** Well... yeah...

 **Surrender:** THERE IS SO MUCH BETRAYAL IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

 **NovaPrime:** Household? Bio child?

 **Surrender:** Oh shit

 **AntDad:** God, I'm such a freaking moron

 **NovaPrime:** It's fine, I'm just a little confused

 **SuperNova:** It's fine... she won't say anthing

 **AntDad:** So... uh, my girlfriend's expecting...

 **Surrender:** And like, in order to practice, you know, 'dadding', we're letting him be our dad

 **Deadpool:** But it turned into a joke

 **FutureCorpsman:** Like our lives

 **Surrender:** Eyyyy

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's true, you know

 **Surrender:** I'm 'eyying' away the sadness

 **SuperNova:** I am so done with all of you

 **AntDad:** Now, now, children, calm down

 **NovaPrime:** So you are all jokingly his 'children'?

 **SuperNova:** ...yes

 **NovaPrime:** Alright then

 **Deadpool:** If you want, you can be one of his 'children' too

 **Surrender:** Yeah, you're the super successful one that dad keeps telling us to be like, so it slowly develops an inferiority complex in us

 **NovaPrime:** ...okay... then

 **Surrender:** YAY! BIG SISTER!

 **SuperNova:** I hate all of you, all of you are dead to me

 **SuperNova:** Except you ma'am, and maybe Rhomann

 **FutureCorpsman:** Aww, thanks bro

 **SuperNova:** Nevermind about Rhomann

 **FutureCorpsman:** Dad! Garthan's being mean!

 **AntDad:** Now, now, Garthan, be nice to #2

 **SuperNova:** This is not happening

 **SuperNova:** This is happening to anybody else but me, I AM NOT EXPERIENCING THIS

 **Deadpool:** Sorry buckaroo, you're part of the family

 **SuperNova:** Then wouldn't you liking Kraglin technically be incest?

 **Deadpool:** So?

 **SuperNova:** ...I want my real family

 **SuperNova:** BECAUSE I AM DONE

 **FutureCorpsman:** Wow. I think you broke him, Wade

 **Deadpool:** Whoops

 **Surrender:** He probably doesn't care

 **Deadpool:** I don't

 **Surrender:** Fucking knew it

 **Deadpool:** That's right, babe

 **Surrender:** Sure

 **FutureCorpsman:** Incest? It's more likely than you think

 **Surrender:** Don't you meme at me you little shit

 **FutureCorpsman:** Be quiet #5

 **Surrender:** Jesus, it's like we're RK-5 or something

 **NovaPrime:** Is that another reference that I don't get?

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's a reference none of us get

 **Surrender:** Noblesse? Webtoons?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Sorry buddy

 **Surrender:** You're all dead to me

 **Surrender:** All of you. Gone. Dead. DEAD, YOU HEAR ME?

 **Deadpool:** Just explain, shitstain

 **Surrender:** Noblesse is the FUCKING BEST! It's a manwha on webtoons.com, BUT... it's over 500 chapters long

 **Deadpool:** ...manwha?

 **Surrender:** Japanese comics are manga, korean comics are manwha

 **Deadpool:** You learn something useless every day

 **Surrender:** Aren't you supposed to be the one that likes me

 **Surrender:** Okay, but it's got vampires, werewolves, almost all the characters are hot AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY SO MUCH

 **AntDad:** And this, kids, is why you want to be like Irani

 **Surrender:** FUCK YOU DAD

 **AntDad:** THERE'S ALREADY TOO MUCH INCEST IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

 **Surrender:** I-I hate all of you

 **AntDad:** But you hate yourself most of all

 **Surrender:** Cuttin' real deep dad

 **AntDad:** But we all hate ourselves, that's the truth in life

 **Deadpool:** The mood went from joking to depressing as shit, lighten up motherfuckers

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, yeah, oof it up

 **Surrender:** So... I was wondering... if you wanted to see that one shitty action movie sometime?

 **Deadpool:** Totally!

 **AntDad:** Look at them, growing up so fast

 **SuperNova:** Need I remind anyone that this is technically incest

 **FutureCorpsman:** I honestly think that they don't care

 **SuperNova:** OKay then

 **FutureCorpsman:** Are... are you okay?

 **SuperNova:** Yep, yep, totally fine

 **FutureCorpsman:** Liar

 **SuperNova:** uhyj7jhyu7yhu7y3

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan?!

 **Surrender:** I think the coffee wore off

 **FutureCorpsman:** So you think he passed out?

 **Surrender:** Probably

 **FutureCorpsman:** Ahhh... that isn't good, I'm debating whether or not it'd be a good idea to check on him

 **AntDad:** Well, I'm not going back to sleep anytime soon, so, I can go with you

 **FutureCorpsman:** Thanks dad

 **AntDad:** You're welcome... son

 **Surrender:** Barf

 **AntDad:** Silence #5!

 **Surrender:** Well, you know what, you're the #1 Shitty Dad

 **AntDad:** Cut me real deep son

 **NovaPrime:** Is this what usually happens between all of you?

 **Surrender:** I usually freak and do something stupid, Wade says weird shit, Scott does dad things, Rhomann is the voice of reason and Garthan is usually done with one or all of us

 **Deadpool:** Pretty much

 **NovaPrime:** If Garthan does not enjoy your company then how come he still hangs around?

 **Surrender:** It's more of a joking thing than anything else, he still cares, if he really didn't like us he would have said it himself a long time ago

 **NovaPrime:** I suppose

 **Surrender:** So, are you guys going to check on him or not?

 **Deadpool:** Aren't his parents home or something?

 **NovaPrime:** They work overseas, so he's often home

 **Surrender:** That sucks

 **NovaPrime:** He does have siblings, a few older and one younger, so he's not alone

 **AntDad:** But we're worried so we're gonna go over anyways

 **Surrender:** Yeah, you guys do that

 **FutureCorpsman:** See you guys in a little bit then

 **FutureCorpsman** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntDad** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Oof, left without saying goodbye

 **Surrender:** So, do you wanna go to that movie sometime today?

 **Deadpool:** Hmmm, how about in a few hours

 **Surrender:** Perfecto

 **NovaPrime:** Hello

 **Surrender:** Holy shit I forgot you were there

 **NovaPrime:** That's odd

 **Surrender:** How so?

 **NovaPrime:** People usually make such an effort to make me feel noticed, to the point where it makes them uncomfortable, so when someone forgets that I was here, it seems odd

 **Surrender:** Welcome to being a normal kid, where everyone usually forgets that you exist

 **NovaPrime:** I appreciate it

 **Surrender:** You're welcome, I guess

 **FutureCorpsman** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntDad** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, so we're at Garthan's apartment

 **Surrender:** He lives in an apartment?

 **AntDad:** It's a fancy fucking apartment

 **Surrender:** Makes more sense

 **FutureCorpsman:** We found him on his bedroom floor, phone crushed under his face

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **FutureCorpsman:** He's okay, just really tired

 **NovaPrime:** That's good

 **FutureCorpsman:** His brothers are out or don't care

 **Deadpool:** How many does he even have?

 **FutureCorpsman:** He's got 3, two older, and one younger

 **AntDad:** One seems to be a 30-year-old bum named Pyreus, one's a college student that has too many student loans named Malik, and one is this adorable little shit named Richard

 **Deadpool:** Richard is the only one with a normal name

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah... his parents are Adora and Tanak Valt

 **Surrender:** But his last name is Saal

 **FutureCorpsman:** They all have different last names, like Pyreus Kril, Malik Tarcel, and Richard Rider

 **Surrender:** I am confusion

 **FutureCorpsman:** They're all adopted, and their parents are open about it, so they kept their last names because they don't want to 'erase' their past

 **FutureCorpsman:** Least that's how Garthan explained it to me

 **Surrender:** Well, I guess that makes sense, that's how my family works

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, you're like adopted by Yondu Udonta, a brother to Rocket Raccoon, Groot Flora-Colossus, Peter Quill and now Mantis Celestial

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah

 **FutureCorpsman:** Isn't your last name, like-

 **Surrender:** Don't you say it, I hate my last name

 **AntDad:** Why?

 **Surrender:** Because it's stupid

 **Deadpool:** His last name is Obfonteri

 **Surrender:** D U D E

 **Deadpool:** What? It's not that bad of a last name

 **Surrender:** Says the one who hasn't had it for 17 years

 **Deadpool:** BUT ITS SO NICE

 **FutureCorpsman:** It is a pretty good name

 **NovaPrime:** It is rather nice to hear

 **Surrender:** WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING SO NIIIICEEEE

 **AntDad:** As much as we joke about hating each other, we CARE about you

 **Surrender:** ...thanks

 **FutureCorpsman:** Aww, look at us bonding, like a real family

 **AntDad:** Disowned

 **FutureCorpsman:** BUT I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR FAVORITE

 **AntDad:** Now Kraglin is best child

 **Surrender:** But isn't Irani best child?

 **AntDad:** Don't talk back to your father

 **Surrender:** Bitch please

 **AntDad:** No wonder your mother left me

 **Deadpool:** Goddammit, now it's just depressing

 **Surrender:** A.k.a. my life

 **Deadpool:** Now it's extra depressing

 **Surrender:** Oof, you wound me

 **FutureCorpsman:** We always end up wounding each other over something, why is that?

 **AntDad:** Because we're family, dipshits

 **Deadpool:** So... Kraglin, the movie's starting in 20 minutes, want me to pick you up?

 **Surrender:** Oh, yeah, totally, thanks

 **AntDad:** Good luck kiddos!

 **Surrender:** Bye

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, keeping Kraglin/Wade as my very own crackship (thanks Amelié), and if y'all wanna send shit to me, please use blahblahfanart@outlook.com as I can't work Discord... like... at all. I've also gotten into Detroit: Become Human and will probably make a reference or two to it in the future, AND of course, I had to push Noblesse, it's the fucking best and the authors get very little credit for making such a beautiful series with great characters (M-21 is my fav), you can read it on webtoons.com (they have thousands of other comics too).


	28. Oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to live down his shame

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Holy shit, what did I DO

 **BirbyBow:** Oh, you're awake

 **IronBoi:** It's 2pm, and I am so massively hungover that it HURTS TO TYPE

 **BirbyBow:** You got wasted, jumped off your boat and got lost for an hour or maybe two

 **IronBoi:** ...shit, fuck, goddammit

 **BirbyBow:** Ask everyone else, we all went looking for you

 **IronBoi:** Did... did you guys really?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Yeah, we were all panicking

 **IronBoi:** I would care more if my head didn't feel like a jackhammer was cracking my skull open

 **DeadMemes:** Honestly, such a mood

 **IronBoi:** ...who the fuck is this?

 **MightyShield:** Well, when we couldn't find you we recruited some of my... new friends, to help find you

 **IronBoi:** Oh my god, tell me you didn't

 **DrStrange:** That's right, the three of us new people looked for you

 **IronBoi:** Did you guys HAVE to drag the new kids into this?

 **MightyShield:** We couldn't find you! We were worried

 **IronBoi:** Seriously, I would've been fine

 **BadAssSpiders:** I don't know, there've been a lot more murders than the statistical average of our town

 **MightyShield:** Statistical average?

 **BadAssSpiders:** For us, it's approximately 3-4 murders every 6 months. However, in the last month alone there have been 7 confirmed homicides.

 **SiberiaSoldier:** How come there hasn't been a warning issued about a serial killer?

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm not sure, my... friend is on the police force, and from what I can tell none of the murders have anything in common, not in lifestyle, race, sexuality, nothing gender-specific, or in the way they were murdered

 **WarMachine:** That would explain it, they wouldn't want to panic the public if there really wasn't a serial killer, it could damage their reputation

 **ThunderMan:** Still... it does seem odd that people have died and no one seems to be alarmed

 **BadAssSpiders:** Welcome to the world, buddy

 **Prince:** But it does not have to be that way

 **RedMagic:** It doesn't HAVE to, it just is that way

 **Mindroid:** Sadly, that is the truth nowadays

 **IronBoi:** Okay, now that you all had an interesting discussion about the philosophy of humanity and murder rates, think about this, what murderer would target a teenage party in the woods?

 **DrStrange:** I want you to read what you just wrote and then realize that it's the plot to ALMOST EVERY HORROR MOVIE

 **IronBoi:** Oh look, it's Strange

 **DrStrange:** Yeah, it's me

 **DeadMemes:** The meme hater himself

 **IronBoi:** He'll get along great with Clint then

 **BirbyBow:** Damn right, down with shitty memes

 **SmokeWeed:** DOWN WITH THE HATERS

 **BirbyBow:** Fuck off Bruce

 **DeadMemes:** Leave my meme bretheren alone!

 **SpideyDude** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpideyDude:** Mr. Stark, you're okay!

 **SpiceBabe:** I told you he'd be fine, Peter

 **SpideyDude:** I know, I know, Ms. Potts, I was just worried!

 **IronBoi:** Aww, kid, you didn't have to worry. Look, I'm fine!

 **SpideyDude:** Y-You jumped off a boat going 40 miles

 **IronBoi:** Oh shit, that reminds me, where is my Juicy Ass?

 **WarMachine:** ...

 **WarMachine:** Goddammit, Tony, you named it just do that didn't you

 **IronBoi:** You know it

 **WarMachine:** How are we friends

 **IronBoi:** YOU WUV ME

 **ThunderMan:** Don't worry, your Juicy Ass is safe with me

 **WarMachine:** Tony, I hope your hangover is horrible

 **IronBoi:** Don't worry, it's already horrible (':

 **DeadMemes:** Can we have 1000 likes?

 **SmokeWeed:** Press F to pay respects

 **RedMagic:** Steve, you've created a monstrosity

 **MightyShield:** I regret most of my decisions

 **RedMagic:** Regret ALL of your decisions

 **MightyShield:** But... but I don't regret ALL of them, just... this one

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I dunno... might need to

 **Prince** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **Prince:** Hello there, I hear my sister has been causing you trouble

 **DeadMemes:** You'll never catch me brother

 **ThunderMan:** For some reason, I seem to be feeling nostalgic

 **IronBoi:** Now is not the time for you fucked up sibling relationships Thor, now is the time for panicking

 **Mindroid:** Why, sir?

 **WarMachine:** Because his father might kill him for losing a boat

 **IronBoi:** Oops

 **BirbyBow:** Goddammit, Tony

 **IronBoi:** So, Thor, you kinda need to give me my boat, ASAP

 **ThunderMan:** Can do, friend Stark

 **IronBoi:** Good, that's one crisis averted

 **Mindroid:** Oh, sir?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, Vis?

 **Mindroid:** Wanda and I are going to the movies today, so I'm afraid I won't be home

 **BirbyBow:** Roses are red, Violets are blue, they're gonna bang, what about you?

 **RedMagic:** Roses are red, Violets are blue, talk shit again, I'm gonna curb stomp you

 **DeadMemes:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 **SmokeWeed:** Damn

 **RedMagic:** Yeah, I just wanted to use that one

 **IronBoi:** Okay, that was good

 **RedMagic:** I don't need praise from you, Stark

 **RedMagic:** But thanks anyway

 **IronBoi:** You're welcome, Wanda

 **IronBoi:** And Vis, it's fine, I'm sure I can take care of myself

 **BirbyBow:** I doubt that, like, a lot

 **IronBoi:** I'm hurt, so, so, so hurt

 **DrStrange:** I'm supposed to the 2.0 of this guy? I feel insulted now

 **IronBoi:** WHAT?! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE 2.0 OF ME? HOW COULD YOU

 **MightyShield:** Tony, after the stunt you pulled yesterday, you don't get to speak

 **IronBoi:** Blame Clint, he brought the drinks

 **BirbyBow:** And you drank them, so...

 **IronBoi:** Don't turn this around on me!

 **BirbyBow:** I'm not the one who jumped off the boat

 **IronBoi:** Don't test me

 **BirbyBow:** I wouldn't have to if you took responsibility for what was your fault

 **IronBoi:** And you thought it would be a good idea to supply teenagers with free alcohol, so you're partly to blame

 **BirbyBow:** I'll take responsibility if you do

 **IronBoi:** Fine. It was my fault that I got wasted on the booze that _Clint_ brought

 **BirbyBow:** And it was my fault that I tried to let everyone have fun by bringing vodka

 **MightyShield:** And it's my fault for creating the Meme Monster™

 **DeadMemes:** Look, Bruce, we've been trademarked!

 **SmokeWeed:** Amazing! Look at all those chickens

 **DeadMemes:** Thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of garbage

 **SmokeWeed:** Yes, she is a bitch. B - I - C - T - H

 **DeadMemes:** You stupid

 **SmokeWeed:** What the fuck is up, Kyle. No, what did you say, WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? STEP THE FUCK UP, KYLE

 **BirbyBow:** You are all slowly killing me

 **DrStrange:** Didn't I tell you to stop with the vines?

 **DeadMemes:** You expect me to stop now that I've finally met a person of culture

 **DrStrange:** I think you forgot the 'no' in front of culture

 **DeadMemes:** YOU. DID. NOT.

 **DrStrange:** I believe I just did

 **DeadMemes:** You are the worst

 **DrStrange:** Says the person who says 'lit' and dabs unironically

 **DeadMemes:** Fite me you ratchet ho

 **DrStrange:** ...child, no

 **SmokeWeed:** FOR NARNIA

 **BirbyBow:** Steve, you've doomed us all to the deepest pits of hell, fucking thank you for that

 **MightyShield:** Sorry, sorry

 **Prince:** Calm down, sister, you are acting rather rude

 **DeadMemes:** Fuck off Brother

 **Prince:** I don't think that she'll listen to me

 **BirbyBow:** Ya think

 **RedMagic:** V I S, I'm at your door

 **Mindroid:** I... may need you to help me

 **RedMagic:** Okay, okay, Stark, can you open the door?

 **IronBoi:** I... I have to move?

 **RedMagic:** Unless you want Vis to limp to the front door, then yes, Stark

 **IronBoi:** UGH FINE

 **RedMagic:** Thanks

 **RedMagic:** Okay, Stark was not kidding about being hungover, he looks like shit

 **BadAssSpiders:** See if you can get a picture

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Why?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Blackmail

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Of course

 **DrStrange:** Is that not slightly concerning to the rest of you?

 **SpiceBabe:** No, it's pretty normal

 **DrStrange:** Well that's great

 **IronBoi:** GOODBYE YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS

 **RedMagic:** Kiss my ass Stark

 **IronBoi:** I think you have Vis to do that for you

 **Mindroid:** ...sir

 **IronBoi:** Fine, fine, SORRY WANDA

 **MightyShield:** Why can't we all be nice to each other? 

**IronBoi:** Steve... have you met us?

 **MightyShield:** Yeah, yeah, I know

 **IronBoi:** Then why in the world are you questioning it

 **MightyShield:** I have hope, okay?

 **DeadMemes:** DiD SOmEOnE SAy HoPE?

 **SmokeWeed:** Jesus Christ, Komaeda

 **DrStrange:** Okay, that one didn't even make any sense

 **DeadMemes:** If you were an educated person, you would have gotten it

 **DrStrange:** Your version of 'educated' scares me, to be honest

 **DeadMemes:** You harlot

 **DrStrange:** What did I do to deserve this?

 **IronBoi:** You joined this chat, for one

 **DrStrange:** You realize that the question was rhetorical, right?

 **IronBoi:** Do I look like a moron?

 **DrStrange:** Short answer, yes

 **SpiceBabe:** Now, now, boys, if you're going to behave like children, take it outside the chat

 **DrStrange:** I'm sorry, who are you?

 **SpiceBabe:** Virginia Potts

 **IronBoi:** Pepper

 **SpiceBabe:** But you can call me Ms. Potts

 **DrStrange:** Pepper it is then

 **IronBoi:** Oi, show some respect

 **DrStrange:** And why should I?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Because you're a guest in this chat

 **DrStrange:** ...fine

 **BirbyBow:** Oof, no one wants to fuck with Steve's boyfriend

 **Mindroid:** Wanda and I were at the movies, guess what we just saw?

 **RedMagic:** Obfonteri and Wilson, on a date

 **BirbyBow:** Wait... Sam?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** The fuck you mean

 **BirbyBow:** Okay... not Sam

 **RedMagic:** WADE Wilson 

**BirbyBow:** Wow. That's not a pairing I would have predicted

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm just surprised that the SSS didn't predict it, they predict pretty much ALL of the relationships at school

 **DeadMemes:** You ship enough ships, one of them eventually becomes canon

 **SmokeWeed:** Totally

 **BirbyBow:** I'm... I'm going to just ignore them

 **MightyShield:** Wise decision

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Honestly, one of the only wise decisions you've ever made in your entire life

 **BirbyBow:** YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND WILSON

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** AM I ANYONES FRIEND?

 **DeadMemes:** FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z

 **SmokeWeed:** Cha-la, head Cha-la, egau oratora zetto de, kyo-omo, ay-ai-ai-ai-ai, SPARKING

 **BirbyBow:** Both of you are the worst

 **DeadMemes:** WE ARE NOW SIBLINGS

 **SmokeWeed:** TRUE SIBLINGS

 **Prince:** But... but WE'RE siblings, Shuri

 **SmokeWeed:** Aw, fuck, I can't belive you done this

 **DeadMemes:** What the fuck. Is this allowed. What the fuck

 **BirbyBow:** STOP

 **DeadMemes:** OH MY BAST, HE FINISHED THE VINE

 **SmokeWeed:** YOU TRICKED HIM INTO MEMEING, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 **BirbyBow:** My entire life is a lie...

 **IronBoi:** Great. You broke him

 **DeadMemes:** AND IT ONLY TOOK AN HOUR

 **SmokeWeed:** AND WITH OUR COMBINED EFFORTS, WE HAVE TAKEN HIM DOWN

 **DeadMemes:** Now if we could only get the other one...

 **DrStrange:** Oh goddammit

 **DeadMemes:** You're next

 **DrStrange:** F U C K

 **SpiceBabe:** You should probably run

 **DrStrange:** Honestly... what good would that even do

 **MightyShield:** I don't know, I really don't know

 **BadAssSpiders:** WANDA. What move are you going to see

 **RedMagic:** Oh, it's an old timey french film

 **IronBoi:** ...dude

 **RedMagic:** Spit it out, Stark

 **IronBoi:** That is one of the most asshole things to do, seeing a French film and being like 'ha ha ha, I'm so refined'

 **RedMagic:** It's a classic

 **IronBoi:** You know what's a classic? The Blob. War Games, hell, even Spy Kids

 **RedMagic:** Spy Kids is a shitty series and you know it

 **BirbyBow:** You just destroyed my childhood

 **IronBoi:** What about Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

 **RedMagic:** Trash

 **IronBoi:** ...how dare you

 **RedMagic:** Imagine that meme, with the anime kid and the butterfly, the kid is the production staff, that butterfly is 'sharkboy and lava girl special effects' and the line is 'is this good CGI?'

 **DeadMemes:** You used a meme to destroy a meme... how diabolical

 **SmokeWeed:** She must be stopped at all costs

 **ThunderMan:** Look at you two, like peas in a pod

 **SmokeWeed:** It's like we're long lost twins

 **DeadMemes:** Except I'm younger

 **SmokeWeed:** Still twins

 **BirbyBow:** I am so fucking done with this chat, I swear

 **DeadMemes:** I suppose you could say, that this is getting... hawkward?

 **BirbyBow:** Hell no

 **SmokeWeed:** I suppose you're not emused

 **BirbyBow:** What is this hell

 **DeadMemes:** If this keeps up, you won't be in _beak_ performance for your next quiz

 **BirbyBow:** CAN SOMEONE JUST END MY MISERY

 **SmokeWeed:** Wow, we're just _winging_ it, and he's already acting like this

 **DeadMemes:** I guess he has a _fowl_ sense of humour

 **BirbyBow:** SOMEONE SAVE ME

 **SmokeWeed:** From this, make it end

 **DeadMemes:** I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin

 **SmokeWeed:** I dunno why, but I feel like a monster

 **BirbyBow:** That's because both of you are literal demon spawn

 **DeadMemes:** Or we could be angels

 **SmokeWeed:** All depends on the point of view, I guess

 **BirbyBow:** My point of view is that you all suck

 **MightyShield:** Come on, Clint, at least try to be friendly

 **BirbyBow:** But... but they're killing me with words. Every word out of their mouths is like a knife, stabbing me in the brain

 **SmokeWeed:** That sounds like a 'you' kind of problem

 **IronBoi:** Eyyy

 **Prince:** You are all very strange people

 **MightyShield:** Yeah... that pretty much sums all of this whole mess up

 **IronBoi:** YOU WOUND ME ROGERS, YOU HURT ME AND MAKE ME ACHE

 **DrStrange:** I would've thought that the hangover would hurt you more

 **IronBoi:** Goddammit, you're a smartass

 **DrStrange:** Damn right

 **RedMagic:** The movies about to start, so bye

 **Mindroid:** Goodbye

 **BirbyBow:** SAVE ME

 **Mindroid** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, within the next few chapters I'm going to introduce the romance arc, and then, you probably guessed it, a serial killer arc. In which case, someone MIGHT have to die, I haven't quite decided yet. Actually, yeah, someone will probably die, probably a minor character. Make your bets. ALSO, if y'all wanna send something to me or just whatever, use blahblahfanart@outlook.com until I figure out Discord


	29. For the happy couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kraglins birthday is on September 12 (I made it up) and now everybody's trying to plan a party.

**SuperNova** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **SuperNova** has blocked **Surrender** and **Deadpool** from **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman:** What the hell, why did you do that?

 **AntDad:** W HY WOUL D YOU DO TH AT TO MY KIDS

 **SuperNova:** Kraglin's birthday is coming up and we need to plan, and I don't have time to make a completely separate chat and doing that will prevent them from looking back on the chat logs

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...oh

 **SuperNova:** It's on the 12th which is 4 days away and we need to plan a party

 **AntDad:** For the happy couple

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shit, it's that soon? He's never told us his birthday

 **SuperNova:** On Friday, a teacher asked me to pick up their mail in the office, and I might have accidentally opened student transcripts to see Kraglins birthday

 **NovaPrime:** And you considered that a wise decision?

 **SuperNova:** Sorry, ma'am

 **NovaPrime:** Well... what's done is done, I suppose

 **SuperNova:** AnYWAYS, what do you guys think we should do

 **AntDad:** Well... what does Kraglin like?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Voltron, various anime... fanfiction

 **AntDad:** So... maybe an anime body pillow as a present?

 **SuperNova:** No, no... maybe not that

 **AntDad:** I don't know the hell to do, so maybe, I don't know... HELP

 **SuperNova:** So, obviously a Voltron pinata, a BNHA cake and then some random decorations and presents and BOOM a birthday party

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan... how tired are you? We JUST came over when you passed out like an hour ago

 **SuperNova:** Richard was being a little shit so I had to get up AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, that makes sense

 **AntDad:** Do you need me to drop off some advil

 **SuperNova:** No, I'll just eat something and I'll be fine

 **FutureCorpsman:** EAT SOME VEGETABLES

 **SuperNova:** Don't yell at me

 **FutureCorpsman:** You never eat anything healthy, so I have to yell at you so that you'll eat it

 **AntDad:** That's my job!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well, you weren't doing it

 **AntDad:** ...you're gonna start being bumped down in rank

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shit

 **AntDad:** That's right, you little shit

 **NovaPrime:** Weren't we discussing plans for a birthday party?

 **SuperNova:** Thanks for getting us back on track, ma'am

 **NovaPrime:** Don't call me ma'am, we're friends now, call me Irani

 **SuperNova:** Yes... Irani

 **NovaPrime:** Very good

 **AntDad:** Okay, you two, keep your eyes on the prize

 **SuperNova:** Thanks dad

 **AntDad:** You're welcome #3

 **FutureCorpsman:** True neutral

 **SuperNova:** No

 **FutureCorpsman:** No... maybe a lawful neutral

 **SuperNova:** You are an asshole, you know that?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Please, I'm neutral good

 **FutureCorpsman:** Wade is a chaotic neutral, and Kraglin is a lawful evil

 **SuperNova:** Stop it

 **FutureCorpsman:** Scott is a chaotic good

 **AntDad:** Thanks #4

 **FutureCorpsman:** Irani's probably lawful good

 **NovaPrime:** I can't really argue with that

 **FutureCorpsman:** I've just been thinking about that

 **SuperNova:** WE NEED TO PLAN A BIRTHDAY PARTY GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, fine, fine

 **SuperNova:** Thank you

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, so who's buying what, and where's this going down

 **SuperNova:** THAT'S KIND OF WHY I'M HERE RHOMANN

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh... oops

 **SuperNova:** You guys are going to be the death of me, I swear

 **FutureCorpsman:** How dare you

 **SuperNova:** I speak the truth

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well the truth freakin hurts

 **SuperNova:** Grow up

 **FutureCorpsman:** Nevermind, you're obviously chaotic evil

 **SuperNova:** You take that back

 **FutureCorpsman:** Nah, bitch

 **SuperNova:** When you die, I will be laughing

 **FutureCorpsman:** Spoken like a true chaotic evil

 **SuperNova:** Just... just help me, okay?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fine, fine

 **SuperNova:** Thank, so I can spare 300 bucks for the party, who else can chip in?

 **AntDad:** Uh... $10?

 **SuperNova:** Sorry, what?

 **AntDad:** I'm a broke bitch, what do you expect

 **SuperNova:** I don't even know anymore

 **FutureCorpsman:** I can spare 200

 **NovaPrime:** 100

 **SuperNova:** Okay perfect

 **NovaPrime:** Sorry, I mean 1000

 **SuperNova:** ...what

 **NovaPrime:** ONE-THOUSAND DOLLARS

 **SuperNova:** ...how can you spare that much

 **AntDad:** Now you know how I feel

 **NovaPrime:** Do you know how much money my family has to its name?

 **SuperNova:** ...good point

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, okay, that's about... $1510 dollars, so how much do we spend on decorations, cake, and presents?

 **SuperNova:** Let's say 450 on decorations, 150 on cake and the rest can be for presents

 **FutureCorpsman:** Seems resonable

 **AntDad:** Now I feel bad that I only gave you 10 bucks

 **SuperNova:** And for one of your childrens birthday parties, too, smh

 **AntDad:** Once you have kids, then you can judge me

 **SuperNova:** I can judge you now

 **AntDad:** Ungrateful spawn

 **SuperNova:** Bad dad

 **AntDad:** How D A R E you

 **SuperNova:** Whatever. To make up for it, you're getting the decorations

 **AntDad:** Fine, fine, I'll do it

 **SuperNova:** You better

 **AntDad:** Just give me the money, I'll buy it tomorrow

 **SuperNova:** Whatever, let's all meet up and give the money to me because, besides Irani, I'm the only fiscally responsible person, and I don't think that she wants to plan a birthday party

 **NovaPrime:** That's true

 **SuperNova:** Thanks... Irani

 **FutureCorpsman:** Ooooooo

 **AntDad:** I smell romance

 **SuperNova:** Fuck off

 **FutureCorpsman:** I N C E S T

 **SuperNova:** I hate you, and I hate you, I hate both of you, both of you are dead to me

 **AntDad:** Look at the salty winter child

 **SuperNova:** So help me, I will kill you

 **AntDad:** Puh-lease, as if

 **SuperNova:** Why don't we meet at a cafe? Before I end up banging my head against a table?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fine...

 **SuperNova:** Cool, let's go too S.H.I.E.L.D. then

 **NovaPrime:** S.H.I.E.L.D.?

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, it's this cafe that not many people know about

 **NovaPrime:** What does it stand for?

 **SuperNova:** I um... I don't know, I've never asked and they've never told

 **NovaPrime:** Oh

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, sorry

 **NovaPrime:** I was just curious

 **AntDad:** CHILDREN CAN WE JUST LEAVE

 **FutureCorpsman:** LET'S GO

 **SuperNova:** O K A Y, I'm leaving now

 **AntDad:** WE SHALL SEE YOU, BYE NOW

 **AntDad** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

* * *

**AntDad** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntDad:** Okay, that cafe was pretty cool

 **SuperNova:** Told you

 **AntDad:** And the owner was so nice

 **SuperNova:** The... owner?

 **FutureCorpsman:** You met the owner?

 **AntDad:** Yeah... his name was Phil... Coulson?

 **SuperNova:** H O L Y S H I T

 **FutureCorpsman:** That's one of our teachers!

 **AntDad:** Oh, he must teach an AP class then

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, he teaches a history class

 **AntDad:** That probably explains why I didn't recognize him

 **SuperNova:** I didn't know that he owned a cafe

 **FutureCorpsman:** You think we would've noticed

 **AntDad:** You would've noticed if you had stayed behind to pay the damn bill

 **SuperNova:** You contributed the least to the birthday fund, so you have to pay our meals, that's how it works

 **AntDad:** You made that up and you know it

 **SuperNova:** It worked, didn't it?

 **AntDad:** ...you smart son of a bitch

 **SuperNova:** Guess you're the bitch

 **AntDad:** I just want O N E win today, but NOOOOOOOOOO

 **SuperNova:** Maybe if you were a decent father, you could have one

 **NovaPrime:** Are we really going to do this... again?

 **AntDad:** The only reason he even talked to me was that we got into a yelling match and apparently it 'concerned' him

 **SuperNova:** Oh... right...

 **FutureCorpsman:** You yelled, and I quote 'THIS IS YOUR CHILDS BIRTHDAY PARTY, JUST PRETEND TO LOVE US!!!'

 **AntDad:** Among other things...

 **NovaPrime:** For instance, 'Goddammit, Scott, we can't fucking get an anime pinata, IT HAS TO BE V O L T R O N. Know your children!'

 **AntDad:** Yeah... there was that

 **SuperNova:** Okay, EVERYONE SHUT UP, Kraglin just got out of the movies with Wade, I'll unblock them real quick, BUT DON'T TELL THEM ANYTHING

 **SuperNova** has unblocked **Surrender** and **Deadpool** from **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** What the fuck was that about

 **SuperNova:** I was messing around with chat controls and I must not have noticed it, sorry

 **Surrender:** Fine, whatever...

 **AntDad:** How was the movie, children?

 **Deadpool:** The best part was the death

 **Surrender:** Wade, no

 **Deadpool:** I'm telling the truth, you can't get mad at me for that

 **Surrender:** Can the truth not have psychopathic tendencies?

 **Deadpool:** That's a little impossible

 **Surrender:** Jesus fucking christ

 **SuperNova:** Sounds like you guys had a good time then

 **Surrender:** I mean... it was okay...

 **Deadpool:** The only good thing was the death, I'm gonna say it now

 **Surrender:** ...

 **Surrender:** Goddammit, Wade

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, yeah, I know

 **SuperNova:** That's good

 **FutureCorpsman:** So... are you guys dating now... or...

 **Deadpool:** Oh... that...

 **Surrender:** So... I guess so?

 **AntDad:** Look at my children, growing up

 **Deadpool:** I N C E S T

 **SuperNova:** I AM DONE WITH THIS FAMILY

 **AntDad:** No, you're just done with Wade

 **FutureCorpsman:** Honestly, we're all done with Wade

 **Surrender:** I would say that I disagree but it's true

 **Deadpool:** BABE

 **Surrender:** ...babe? Really?

 **Deadpool:** Would you rather I call you my fucking cinnamon apple?

 **Surrender:** Yeah

 **Deadpool:** Oh... okay then

 **SuperNova:** Wow... this is... really painful to watch

 **Deadpool:** Shut the fuck up before I stab you with a sharpie

 **SuperNova:** HE'S CHATOIC EVIL

 **FutureCorpsman:** FUCK OFF

 **SuperNova:** Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to do things like that

 **FutureCorpsman:** Sarcastic bastard

 **SuperNova:** Hell yeah

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's not a compliment

 **SuperNova:** I'll take it like one

**FutureCorpsman: I hate this fucking family**

****

****

**AntDad:** We don't talk like that in this goddamn, motherfucking household, shit, can you believe this?

 **Surrender:** ...I'm not sure whether to be disappointed or proud, is there a word for that?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well, bittersweet maybe... melancholic?

 **Deadpool:** Prouppointed

 **NovaPrime:** There are two types of people

 **Deadpool:** Normal and fucked

 **Surrender:** ...sure

 **SuperNova:** We are the weirdest family, I swear

 **AntDad:** Damn right

 **Deadpool:** So what'd you guys do when we hung out?

 **SuperNova:** Didn't do much, maybe chatted a bit, that was it

 **Surrender:** Kind of boring, don't you think?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, it was pretty boring

 **Surrender:** No sipping tea?

 **SuperNova:** ...I hate that term so much, you have ABSOLUTELY no idea how much

 **Surrender:** ...a lot?

 **FutureCorpsman:** And then multiply that by a million and you still have a long ways to go

 **Surrender:** Damn, we're really sipping some tea right now

 **SuperNova:** How dare you, first of all

 **Surrender:** Oh calm down

 **Deadpool:** Oh, we saw Wanda and Vision while we were at the theater

 **NovaPrime:** Really?

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, Vision was leaning on her, maybe he broke his leg or some shit

 **Surrender:** Probably happened last night, speaking of that, Garthan, how are you even alive

 **FutureCorpsman:** Answer: He's not

 **AntDad:** He's a zombie, he's barely functioning today

 **SuperNova:** Shush

 **Surrender:** He's shushing because it's true

 **SuperNova:** I have no sleep, my head is killing me and I want to vomit, so yeah, perfectly fine

 **NovaPrime:** Get some sleep

 **SuperNova:** But I have things to do today, homework, assignments, I also need to prepare some ideas for the student council for homecoming week

 **NovaPrime:** Well that is important, you really do need to take care of yourself

 **SuperNova:** I can't let my responsibilities go, I took them on so I can get them finished

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just... just ask for help when you need it, alright?

 **SuperNova:** Fine, fine

 **AntDad:** We're serious, Garthan, take better care of yourself before we really get concerned

 **SuperNova:** As if you could stop me

 **Surrender:** We'll ban you from SSS

 **SuperNova:** You wouldn't!

 **Deadpool:** We would

 **SuperNova:** Fine, fine... I'll try and take a nap later today, AFTER MY SCIENCE HOMEWORK

 **FutureCorpsman:** Don't forget that assignment in Latin

 **SuperNova:** FUUUCK

 **Deadpool:** This is why I take German

****SuperNova:** Screw off, you took it because you're lazy**

**Deadpool:** Geh dich ficken

 **SuperNova:** I don't have the energy to google translate that, so I have no idea what the hell you mean

 **Deadpool:** You'd know if you'd taken German

 **Surrender:** Come on, come on now, we can all agree on one thing... French is superior

 **AntDad:** Oh fuck off

 **Deadpool:** That's a load of bullshit right there

 **Surrender:** I'm right and you know it

 **SuperNova:** You're wrong and you know it

 **Surrender:** How dare you

 **Deadpool:** Calm down, my fucking cinnamon apple

 **AntDad:** Wow, 10/10 flirting

 **NovaPrime:** It's truly beautiful

 **Surrender:** Y'all are the worst, I swear

 **SuperNova:** If you didn't insult us with French and didn't use 'Y'all', we wouldn't have to be the worst

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **Deadpool:** It's fine, I'll talk to them

 **Surrender:** 'Talk'? No, you were going to threaten them. You know it, I know it, they know it, so don't even try and hide it

 **SuperNova:** He is right

 **Deadpool:** You are the worst

 **SuperNova:** Listen, I'm trying my best

 **Deadpool:** Try harder

 **AntDad:** I don't quite think you know how life works, kiddo

 **Deadpool:** I know how it works just fine, don't test me

 **AntDad:** Fine. Here's a test

 **Deadpool:** I just said NOT to test me, do you need hearing aids already?

 **AntDad:** You wound me

 **Deadpool:** Oops, guess you're dying early

 **AntDad:** Wow. Rude.

 **Deadpool:** You know it

 **Surrender:** Come on, come on, calm down

 **SuperNova:** Ugh, I'm gonna fall down, I'm really REALLY dizzy, I'm just gonna... go... bye

 **SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** That didn't sound good

 **AntDad:** He's probably fine

 **AntDad:** ...maybe **Surrender:** Wow. Real caring.

 **AntDad:** Shush

 **Surrender:** Okay, I have to go

 **Deadpool:** See ya

 **Surrender:** See ya

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm for sure keeping Kraglin/Wade, I might sprinkle in a bit of Garthan/Irani and the rest of them can be single pringles, I'm gonna start developing the Tony arc and now I've decided to add a serial killer arc, where I'll probably kill off a character, or two. Meh. If y'all wanna send me something, use blahblahfanart@outlook.com. 'kay, bye.


	30. GROSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically mushy relationships + kicking off Tony arc

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** Holy shit you guys won't believe what I just saw

 **SpideyDude:** What is it, Mr. Stark? What'd you see

 **WarMachine:** What is it now

 **IronBoi:** Okay, so I was at S.H.I.E.L.D., you know, that one cafe, and guess who came in

 **ThunderMan:** I don't know

 **IronBoi:** You guys are too serious, just... come on, guess!

 **Mindroid:** Perhaps it was a teacher?

 **IronBoi:** NO! Mr. Coulson owns the place though, but that's a discussion for another time

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I don't know that seems like a pretty important piece of information

 **MightyShield:** Yeah...

 **IronBoi:** True, true, all very true, but you guys are going to want to hear this

 **BadAssSpiders:** Just spit out

 **IronBoi:** So, Garthan Saal, the guy you found, came in with some friends INCLUDING Scott Lang

 **SpiceBabe:** And this is important because...?

 **IronBoi:** Well... I may have listened in on their conversation and it was odd, but I think... that they may be the SSS

 **BirbyBow:** Dude... no

 **IronBoi:** Come on guys, just listen

 **WarMachine:** Fine, we'll listen to your stupid conspiracy theory

 **IronBoi:** Okay, so obviously Garthan is dead inside because no one drinks that much and functions correctly the next day

 **RedMagic:** Wow. Look at all this education I'm getting

 **IronBoi:** No one likes a smartass

 **RedMagic:** Wow. No wonder no one likes you then

 **IronBoi:** Child, I'm gonna beat your ass

 **RedMagic:** Good luck with that

 **IronBoi:** Oh fuck off

 **IronBoi:** ANYWAYS, back to my story, so apparently they're planning something for one of their friends named Kraglin

 **WarMachine:** And?

 **IronBoi:** Well, remember how that Rocket kid told us that one of SSS's names start with a K/C sound

 **MightyShield:** Vaguely

 **IronBoi:** Well, it could be Kraglin

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Do you have any other evidence

 **IronBoi:** They were discussing anime and Voltron, which is odd for members of the student council

 **BadAssSpiders:** Okay, okay, who all was there

 **IronBoi:** Garthan, Rhomann Dey, Irani Rael and Scott Lang

 **RedMagic:** I don't know, I don't think someone like Irani would be there if it was an SSS meeting

 **IronBoi:** We don't know, they could've gotten more members, this could involve THE ENTIRE STUDENT COUNCIL

 **SmokeWeed:** I don't say this often, but you might be going a bit overboard, Tony

 **IronBoi:** What do you mean? It all makes perfect sense

 **SpiceBabe:** We do need more solid evidence

 **IronBoi:** Are you kidding me? This evidence is already pretty damning

 **BadAssSpiders:** While possibly true, they could probably talk their way out of it

 **IronBoi:** UGH. I hate it when you're right

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm always right

 **IronBoi:** Congrats, you know why I hate everything

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wow. What privileged knowledge

 **IronBoi:** Wow, is it be a jackass to Tony day because I got to say, you all seem to celebrate it very festively

 **BirbyBow:** Damn right

 **IronBoi:** Goddammit, I was being sarcastic

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** And we don't care

 **IronBoi:** Can y'all fuck off today, I WAS TRYING TO SHARE IMPORTANT INFORMATION

 **ThunderMan:** I do not know, friend Stark, you seem a bit... on edge

 **IronBoi:** Shush, I'm perfectly fine and sane, what are you talking about?

 **BadAssSpiders:** That's exactly what somebody would say when they're NOT okay

 **IronBoi:** Fuck off, I'm trying

 **BadAssSpiders:** Try harder then, because whatever you're doing now is not working

 **IronBoi:** Take that back

 **BadAssSpiders:** Then stop making conspiracy theories when you haven't had any sleep

 **IronBoi:** I AM RIGHT ABOUT THIS

 **BadAssSpiders:** No, you're not

 **IronBoi:** YES I AM

 **BadAssSpiders:** NO YOU'RE NOT

 **MightyShield:** Can you two please stop?

 **BadAssSpiders:** But

 **SiberiaSoldier:** STOP

 **IronBoi:** FIne, FINE

 **MightyShield:** No, you're not fine, stop lying

 **IronBoi:** ASDFGHJKL WHO ASKED YOU STEVE

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Please calm down, Tony

 **IronBoi:** I'll calm down WHEN I'M CALM

 **Mindroid:** Sir, please, just get some sleep

 **IronBoi:** FUCK OFF VIS

 **DrStrange:** He'll probably burn out soon

 **MightyShield:** Oh, hey Strange

 **DrStrange:** Hello, Steve

 **BirbyBow:** Oh shit, Bucky, you got competition

 **MightyShield:** Stop it

 **BirbyBow:** Fine, fine, just having some fun

 **MightyShield:** Well be quiet

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Shut up Clint

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Oh calm down

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** ...no, fight me

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Come on, man

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Then Steve has to fight me

 **SiberiaSoldier:** No, you're NOT fighting my boyfriend

 **IronBoi:** GROSS, NO MUSHY RELATIONSHIPS IN THE CHAT

 **MightyShield:** Really, Tony?

 **IronBoi:** Relationships make ME INSECURE

 **MightyShield:** Tony, you need TO SLEEP

 **IronBoi:** No I don't fuck off

 **MightyShield:** You're going to end up hurting yourself at this rate

 **IronBoi:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **MightyShield:** You really need to calm down, Tony

 **IronBoi:** FUUCK OFF

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Stop it Tony, you're being a dick

 **IronBoi:** bUT YOU LIKE DICKS

 **SiberiaSoliders:** ...fucking hell, Tony

 **IronBoi:** I amso fucking tired, kill me

 **MightyShield:** You need sleep, not death

 **IronBoi:** Give me sleep or give me death, I crave both

 **BadAssSpiders:** Goddamit Steve, get him!

 **MightyShield:** I-I can't

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, why the hell not?

 **SiberiaSolider:** 'Cause we're on a date

 **BirbyBow:** Wait, what

 **MightyShield:** Yeah, we're hiking together

 **BadAssSpiders:** HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Because it never came up in conversation?

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm your wing woman, you have to tell me when you're going on a date!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm sorry, but it's none of your business

 **BadAssSpiders:** Come on!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Go vicariously live through someone else

 **BadAssSpiders:** You are the worst

 **DrStrange:** You know what? I'll just get Stark. There, problem solved.

 **BadAssSpiders:** I feel like a jackass now, thank you

 **MightyShield:** Sorry, sorry

 **SiberiaSoldier:** No, don't apologize to the brown noser

 **BadAssSpiders:** I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BROWN NOSE IF YOU WOULD COMMUNICATE WITH ME

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Mind your own business child

 **BadAssSpiders:** You're 3 months older than me

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Still a child if you act like a child

 **DrStrange:** Quick question, where IS Tony Stark?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Oh... um...

 **ThunderMan:** I believe that we don't know

 **DrStrange:** Well that's certainly helpful

 **SpiceBabe:** Why don't you try the cafe he was mentioning before? He might still be there

 **DrStrange:** Okay, I'll go there then

 **SpiceBabe:** I'll go with you

 **DrStrange:** Why?

 **SpiceBabe:** Because I have nothing to do and I need to feel like I'm doing something important

 **DrStrange:** That was...

 **SpiceBabe:** Blunt? Honest?

 **DrStrange:** Weird

 **SpiceBabe:** Anyways, shall we go?

 **DrStrange:** See you there, I suppose

 **SpiceBabe:** See you

 **SpiceBabe** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **DrStrange** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **BadAssSpiders:** Those two are better at communicating than us

 **SiberiaSolider:** SHUSH

 **DeadMemes:** YAY! He's gone now and we can actually have fun

 **SmokeWeed:** Hells yeah

 **BirbyBow:** Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, NO. I cannot physically handle two of you in the same chat at the same time. PLEASE KICK THEM BEFORE I DIE

 **DeadMemes:** Ey! Leave my long lost twin alone

 **SmokeWeed:** We're now bonded as family

 **DeadMemes:** You kick one of us, then you kick both of us

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah!

 **MightyShield:** Oh... well... uh, I don't have kicking privileges soo...

 **BirbyBow:** DO SOMETHING BEFORE I DIE

 **DeadMemes:** DON'T KICK US

 **SmokeWeed:** We will revolt!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** The next person who messages us when we're on a date is going to get kicked, IN REAL LIFE, so calm down because we're leaving, solve your differences yourselves

 **MightyShield** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **SiberiaSoldier** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **RedMagic:** He really left us in this hell hole of a chat? It's a ticking time bomb!

 **BirbyBow:** Wow. Thanks for that

 **RedMagic:** I'm not wrong, am I though?

 **BirbyBow:** The point was that you were rude, not if you were right or not

 **RedMagic:** Because I am right, correct?

 **BirbyBow:** Sassy bastard

 **RedMagic:** Real mature

 **BirbyBow:** We don't have time to worry about such things when dealing with memers

 **RedMagic:** Here we go again

 **BirbyBow:** WE HAVE TO BE RUTHLESS, WANDA

 **RedMagic:** They like memes. What's so bad about that

 **SmokeWeed:** LET'S ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE BY AGRESSIVELY T-POSING

 **DeadMemes:** IT'S YEET OR BE YEETED

 **RedMagic:** Okay I see what you mean

 **BirbyBow:** AH-HAH!

 **WarMachine:** Please don't fight again

 **BirbyBow:** You can't control me

 **WarMachine:** I know, and I really wish I could

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFGHJKL FAKE FRIEND

 **WarMachine:** ...I just wanted a normal day, ONE normal day

 **Mindroid:** Why do you expect anything else other than chaos

 **WarMachine:** I have H O P E

 **ThunderMan:** As admirable as that is, it's perhaps not what you need

 **WarMachine:** You too, Thor?

 **ThunderMan:** I am merely being... realistic

 **WarMachine:** Well, you being 'realistic' is shitting on my parade so stop

 **DeadMemes:** Wow. This is so sad, Alex play Despacito 2

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeet that bitch

 **BirbyBow:** CAN SOMEONE JUST KILL ME ALREADY, IT WOULD BE A MERCY

 **RedMagic:** Honestly, no one wants to give you mercy

 **BirbyBow:** Wow, you all hate me

 **RedMagic:** You said it not me

 **BirbyBow:** I was being sarcastic

 **RedMagic:** And I wasn't

 **BirbyBow:** Honestly, all of you hurt me

 **BadAssSpiders:** We love you Clint, but you're an idiot

 **BirbyBow:** *GASP* BETRAYAL

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh calm down

 **BirbyBow:** How am I supposed to be calm when this is literal hell

 **RedMagic:** Could always, I don't know, leave the chat?

 **BirbyBow:** Ah-uh, what now?

 **RedMagic:** L E A V E the C H A T

 **BirbyBow:** HOW DARE YOU

 **BadAssSpiders:** And you set him off, thanks Wanda

 **RedMagic:** It was just a suggestion

 **BirbyBow:** iT wAS A BAd SuGGEsTION

 **RedMagic:** I'm realizing that now, you asshat

 **BirbyBow:** I just want ONE good day

 **WarMachine:** So do I, but you all are a bunch of angsty assholes who won't let me have one

 **BirbyBow:** I mean... I wouldn't say THAT about us

 **SmokeWeed:** I would

 **BirbyBow:** No one asked for your opinion, BRUCE

 **SmokeWeed:** But I still gave it because my opinion is VALID

 **BirbyBow:** QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM

 **BadAssSpiders:** And you broke him, good job

 **SmokeWeed:** I know, right?

 **BadAssSpiders:** ...sure

 **RedMagic:** You think he'll leave now?

 **WarMachine:** Wanda!

 **RedMagic:** I'm just asking

 **WarMachine:** Well, do it in a nicer way

 **RedMagic:** Fine, fine

 **BirbyBow:** And for the record, NO, I am NOT leaving

 **RedMagic:** Oh well then, my dreams are crushed

 **BirbyBow:** Wow. You are one sassy person

 **RedMagic:** Oh really, whatever gave you that absolutely horrid idea?

 **BirbyBow:** -_-

 **SmokeWeed:** Big dick energy

 **BirbyBow:** Goddammit Bruce!

 **DeadMemes:** Take on me

 **SmokeWeed:** Take me on

 **BirbyBow:** You know what, nevermind, I have shit to do so BYE

 **BirbyBow** has left **Anvegeres Assemble**

 **RedMagic:** Congrats, you did it, you scared him off the chat

 **DeadMemes:** We have accomplished our goal!

 **SmokeWeed:** WE HAVE WON THE BATTLE AGAINST OUR ENEMIES

 **BadAssSpiders:** But he's gonna take the War more seriously now

 **DeadMemes:** One can never beat two

 **BadAssSpiders:** As much of an idiot as he can be, when he sets his mind on something he can accomplish it

 **WarMachine:** Wow... you just complimented him

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, he's my friend, so yeah

 **RedMagic:** It's rare that we ever see you complimenting anyone

 **BadAssSpiders:** I can be a nice person when I want to be

 **RedMagic:** You just very rarely want to be one then

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wow. You have no sense of respect do you?

 **RedMagic:** I have it when I want it

 **BadAssSpiders:** Touche

 **DeadMemes:** I can't believe we overthrew the tyrant

 **SmokeWeed:** Down with Big Brother!

 **WarMachine:** And there is the chaos causes now, causing lots and lots of chaos to a make the rest of us completely miserable

 **DeadMemes:** It's not our fault that you don't have a good sense of humor and refinement

 **Smokeweed:** Because we are some of the best people you will ever meet in your lifetime

 **WarMachine:** I can see why Clint hates because I AM STARTING TO HATE YOU

 **SmokeWeed:** Chill out

 **WarMachine:** Shut up, I don't wanna listen to EITHER of you

 **ThunderMan:** Perhaps we should all calm down

 **Prince** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **Prince:** Hello all, I hope my sister hasn't been causing too much trouble

 **RedMagic:** Your sister's been a little shit

 **Prince:** Well that fun to know

 **DeadMemes:** Aww, don't rat me out to him!

 **RedMagic:** I'm not going to lie to someone that I don't even know that well

 **DeadMemes:** BUT STILL

 **WarMachine:** You deserve it and you know you do

 **SmokeWeed:** No! Not my long lost twin!

 **WarMachine:** You two and your long lost twin shtick

 **Prince:** Is this what she has been doing all afternoon?

 **ThunderMan:** Yes

 **Prince:** ...sister

 **DeadMemes:** ASDFGHJK FIGHT ME BROTHER

 **Prince:** So help me you will be grounded for a month!

 **DeadMemes:** But... but...

 **Prince:** I get that you have interests but the time has come for you to start acting with respect and dignity

 **DeadMemes:** I know but... I still want to have fun

 **Prince:** I know, but try harder

 **DeadMemes:** ...alright, brother

 **Prince** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Start of the Tony arc, I hopefully will have this out before school starts for me. I hope you all like this because I love writing this series, thanks for reading. AND if you guys wanna send me anything, use blahblahfanart@outlook.com until I figure out Discord. Which I almost have, and then I can make a working server. YAY. Also, I know some of y'all are purely here for Stucky, and I will T R Y to feature them more often. BUT they will never be the sole focus, so please calm yourselves.


	31. Tony, no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OFFICIALLY STARTING TONY ROMANCE ARC, and hints about the Serial Killer arc

**DrStrange** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpiceBabe** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **DrStrange:** Found him

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh good, where was he?

 **SpiceBab:** Passed out on a table at the cafe

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah... typical Tony

 **DrStrange:** This is typical? That's concerning

 **BadAssSpiders:** Honestly, you get used to it after a while

 **DrStrange:** And _that_ is also concerning

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't judge, newbie

 **SpiceBabe:** We'll get him home, can someone text me the address?

 **WarMachine:** Done

 **SpiceBabe:** Thank you

 **BadAssSpiders:** Be careful though, he can mumble some weird shit when he's woozy

 **SpiceBabe:** Oh we know

 **DrStrange:** Please don't

 **SpiceBabe:** When we tried to move Tony he woke up, looked at Stephen and said "If I weren't an atheist, you would be an angel" and passed out

 **BadAssSpiders:** Of course he did

 **WarMachine:** Typical Tony

 **DrStrange:** Okay, but he tried to hug Pepper

 **SpiceBabe:** Shhh

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, looks like he's getting attached to both of you

 **DrStrange:** Quiet. No. Absolutely not

 **DeadMemes:** Shush, stop being such a tsundere

 **DrStrange:** I'm not even going to ask where you learned such an insulting word

 **DeadMemes:** You're the only one insulted by it, so that must mean it's true

 **DrStrange:** That is NOT true

 **ThunderMan:** It does sounds like it is

 **DrStrange:** You are all terrible people

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, what else is new

 **DrStrange:** ...why did I ever join this chat, I regret many things

 **WarMachine:** Because we need your help and you're a decent person? Maybe, I don't know

 **DrStrange:** That's a lie hidden in a compliment, and you know it

 **WarMachine:** Maybe, maybe not

 **DrStrange:** There's nothing I hate more than vagueness

 **DeadMemes:** Memes?

 **DrStrange:** ...

 **DrStrange:** Okay, no

 **DeadMemes:** No to what?

 **DrStrange:** You... in general

 **DeadMemes:** Wow. I am... disgusted

 **DrStrange:** Don't. Stop it. No one is impressed.

 **DeadMemes:** I impress myself, and that's good enough for me

 **SmokeWeed:** She also impresses me

 **DeadMemes:** Yeah, there's also him

 **DrStrange:** I meant no one IMPORTANT

 **WarMachine:** Okay so, that was worse

 **DrStrange:** I had to say it

 **DeadMemes:** You didn't HAVE to

 **DrStrange:** Debatable

 **BadAssSpiders:** It's really not, but whatever you say

 **SpiceBabe:** This is adorable

 **DrStrange:** No, it's not

 **SpiceBabe:** Tony's trying to cuddle both of us, and it's N O T working

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, he can get a little clingy when he's loopy

 **DrStrange:** ..we've noticed

 **WarMachine:** He'll start crying if you don't let him hug you, so be warned

 **DrStrange:** What even is my life anymore

 **DeadMemes:** A wasteland?

 **DrStrange:** I didn't ask for your commentary, so you didn't need to give it

 **DeadMemes:** lol

 **DrStrange:** Don't 'lol' at me

 **DeadMemes:** I lol at whoever I want to

 **DrStrange:** I truly feel dead inside, is that normal?

 **BadAssSpiders:** For this chat? Yes, very normal

 **SpideyDude:** For most people it's not normal

 **WarMachine:** That's true, but then again, we're not normal people

 **SpideyDude:** There's also that to consider

 **WarMachine:** You should always consider that

 **SpideyDude:** You think I'd consider it more considering I really only hang out with you guys

 **WarMachine:** You think you would

 **SpideyDude:** Shhh, I'm tired, I'm not used to getting that small amount of sleep

 **DrStrange:** Can someone please tell me how to get this douchebag out of my car and into his house

 **MightyShield:** You could probably ask Jarvis, he's usually very cool with all of us doing things, that are... you know... not quite 'legal', as long as we're not having sex

 **DrStrange:** That's an awfully strange thing for him to care about

 **ThunderMan:** While true, he has been looking after most of us since we were children. Before we moved here, my parents often visited the Starks for business purposes and in doing so, left me and Loki in their care. So Jarvis was mostly looking out for all of us

 **Mindroid:** Yes, very much so, I remember he used to make peanut butter jelly sandwiches for all of us, and would even cut the crusts off too

 **DeadMemes:** Aww, how cute

 **BadAssSpiders:** We're like children to him and his wife, Ana, she's a sweet lady

 **DrStrange:** And the point of this long winded explanation is...?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Basically we're his children, and like most parents, he doesn't want us having sex, but the real point is that he'll help you with Tony

 **DrStrange:** Thanks, I guess?

 **SpiceBabe:** Yeah, I think I saw him so I'm going to go talk to him

 **SpideyDude:** I'm just glad he didn't get himself lost again

 **WarMachine:** Same

 **BadAssSpiders:** I can't believe that's the standard we have for Tony

 **WarMachine:** Honestly, you need to expect this stuff

 **BadAssSpiders:** Shush

 **RedMagic:** We are an odd group of people

 **Mindroid:** That is very much true

 **WarMachine:** You all know it, and I know it

 **DrStrange:** Okay, Jarvis took Tony before he could completely latch on to me

 **SpiceBabe:** He kept trying to hold our hands, it was adorable

 **DrStrange:** For you, not for me

 **SpiceBabe:** I saw you blushing, don't lie

 **DrStrange:** It was cold

 **SpiceBabe:** Suuure

 **WarMachine:** Do I sense romance?

 **DrStrange:** You sense nothing

 **WarMachine:** Bitch please, I sense everything

 **DrStrange:** Did, did you just 'bitch, please' me? Really?

 **WarMachine:** I do what I want when I want and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it

 **DrStrange:** I'd like to say that's not true

 **WarMachine:** But it isn't

 **BadAssSpiders:** Okay, okay, let's get back to actual business here, is Tony okay?

 **DrStrange:** He'll be fine

 **SpiceBabe:** He's okay

 **WarMachine:** That is certainly a relief for many of us

 **RedMagic:** Some of us

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh calm down, Wanda

 **RedMagic:** I'm perfectly calm, what do you mean

 **BadAssSpiders:** I mean, calm your tits

 **RedMagic:** Oof

 **WarMachine:** Nat no

 **BadAssSpiders:** I do what I want

 **WarMachine:** Using my words against me

 **BadAssSpiders:** Damn right

 **WarMachine:** I feel used

 **BadAssSpiders:** Then don't be an idiot

 **WarMachine:** OOF, YOU WOUND ME

 **BadAssSpiders:** Of course, I'm a bad bitch

 **WarMachine:** Damn, we're all sleep deprived aren't we

 **SpideyDude:** Pretty much, man

 **BadAssSpiders:** Not me, sleep is for the weak

 **BirbyBow:** HELL YEAH

 **WarMachine:** Goddammit

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Come on, Clint, calm down

 **BirbyBow:** NEVER. FIGHT ME

 **SmokeWeed:** BEGONE THOT

 **BirbyBow:** YOU CAN FIGHT ME, EVERYOEN CAN FIGHT ME, I AIN'T AFRAID TO FIGHT PEOPLE

 **BadAssSpiders:** Clint, you can't take me in a fight and you know that

 **BirbyBow:** I'm not afraid to try

 **RedMagic:** You should be, she could drop you to the ground in less than a second

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFGHJKL LIES, ALL LIES, ALL OF YOU ARE LIARS

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't kid yourself

 **DeadMemes:** Oof. He's just doing his best

 **BirbyBow:** I'm not taking pity from a memer

 **DeadMemes:** Just take my damn pity

 **BirbyBow:** NO NEVER

 **SmokeWeed:** JUST TAKE IT AND BE DONE WITH IT

 **BirbyBow:** You'd have to kill me first!

 **SmokeWeed:** Believe me, we're considering it

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFGHJKL WOW

 **BadAssSpiders:** Can we NOT murder each other?

 **SmokeWeed:** Hmmm... NO

 **BadAssSpiders:** Behave Bruce

 **SmokeWeed:** Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, noooooooooo

 **BadAssSpiders:** Dammit Bruce

 **DrStrange:** Okay, I'm going home and getting out of this chat before this descends into complete and total madness

 **SpiceBabe:** Okay, yeah, I got homework to work on people

 **BirbyBow:** OH SHIT HOMEWORK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **DeadMemes:** Oh right, crap baskets

 **SmokeWeed:** Oh you say that too

 **BirbyBow:** Shut the fuck up you weirdos

 **DeadMemes:** Shut up you hater

 **BirbyBow:** Y'all are gonna kill me, I swear to god

 **SmokeWeed:** Honestly, we're kind of hoping for that

 **WarMachine:** Goddammit children, behave

 **SmokeWeed:** Fucking make me

 **WarMachine:** I will get Bucky to kick your ass

 **SmokeWeed:** Oh no, what will I do

 **WarMachine:** I will get him, I swear to fucking god

 **BadAssSpiders:** He's really getting him

 **SmokeWeed:** Wait fuck no

 **WarMachine:** Wait fuck yes

 **SmokeWeed:** Fuck the hell off

 **WarMachine:** Hell no

 **DeadMemes:** Damn you to hell

 **WarMachine:** Fight me

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wow, we've already descended into pure chaos at this point

 **ThunderMan:** Don't we all know it

 **DrStrange:** This is like a car crash, it's horrifying but you can't tear your eyes from it

 **BadAssSpiders:** That is an accurate description of this chat 24/7

 **SpideyDude:** I really don't think we're that bad

 **WarMachine:** Debatable

 **BirbyBow:** Y'all are going to hell and you know this

 **DeadMemes:** Hell will welcome me back with open arms

 **BirbyBow:** ...god fucking damn it, y'all ain't normal in the slightest sense

 **SmokeWeed:** You know it

 **BirbyBow:** FUCK OFF

 **SmokeWeed:** Wow, you're fucked up

 **BirbyBow:** I'm tired and I have to deal with you assholes all day

 **WarMachine:** WOW. Thanks for that confidence boost, Clint

 **BirbyBow:** Wow bitch, like no thanks

 **WarMachine:** You are all terrible

 **BadAssSpiders:** Hey, some more murders happened, did you guys see that? The paper finally did a story on it

 **WarMachine:** Really? Weren't they unrelated?

 **BadAssSpiders:** But there's so many happening lately that they HAD to

 **WarMachine:** Man, I can't believe that this is actually happening in our town

 **BadAssSpiders:** Every town has one at some point, it sucks, but it's true

 **WarMachine:** Well, is there anything that connects them NOW?

 **BadAssSpiders:** It seems to be people who went out alone, and they seem to be targeting younger people

 **WarMachine:** Shit. And the police still haven't issued a warning?

 **BadAssSpiders:** They would but the mayor doesn't want to alarm anybody

 **WarMachine:** That kind of seems like bullshit

 **BadAssSpiders:** As bullshit as it may be, it's true

 **BirbyBow:** Man, that's freaky

 **DeadMemes:** And I still can't believe that no one has caught this person

 **SmokeWeed:** I'm surprised no one's witnessed anything

 **BadAssSpiders:** You'd think so

 **WarMachine:** What can you do though, nothing, that's what

 **ThunderMan:** Wow. Depressing. Thank for that

 **WarMachine:** Welcome to take this depression any time, man

 **ThunderMan:** Oof, no thanks

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wow

 **DrStrange:** This is a weird conversation

 **BadAssSpiders:** I F U C K I N G K N O W

 **SpiceBabe:** Oof

 **WarMachine:** Someone yeet me off a fucking cliff, I'm so done

 **BadAssSpiders:** Eek, are you okay, Rhodey?

 **WarMachine:** I don't feel good today

 **BadAssSpiders:** Get some rest, okay?

 **WarMachine:** Maybe, I'll think about it

 **BadAssSpiders:** Get the fuck to bed or so help me, I'm going to make you, asshole

 **WarMachine:** Fine, fine, don't be so rude, I'll go to bed in a little bit, just be patient

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'll be patient, ONCE YOU GET THE FUCK TO BED

 **WarMachine:** Fight me

 **BadAssSpiders:** I am so done with today and all of you, we were having a serious conversation a moment ago and now it's this shitstorm

 **DrStrange:** Welcome to life asshole

 **BadAssSpiders:** I didn't ask you asshole

 **DrStrange:** Still got my opinion anyways

 **BadAssSpiders:** And I sure as shit ain't happy about that

 **DrStrange:** Wow, how am I not surprised about that?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Because you better have some common sense

 **DrStrange:** True

 **DeadMemes:** Y E E T T H A T B I T C H

 **DrStrange:** I didn't ask for this suffering

 **DeadMemes:** You didn't ask, but you received anyway

 **BirbyBow:** Wow. Death, please save me

 **BadAssSpiders:** Get in line, buster

 **BirbyBow:** Damn it, Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** I've claimed it since birth, y'all gonna have to wait for this bitch

 **BirbyBow:** Wow

 **DrStrange:** All of you hurt me on some physical, emotional, or mental level and that's a new record

 **SmokeWeed:** **dabs**

 **BirbyBow:** Fight me you actual ratchet person

 **SmokeWeed:** You could try asshole, but you won't fucking succeed, just like you won't succeed at anything in life

 **BirbyBow:** W O W

 **WarMachine:** Would it kill any of you to be nicer to each other?

 **DeadMemes:** Y E S

 **SpideyDude:** Come on, can't we at least, like, try?

 **SmokeWeed:** H E L L N O B I T C H

 **WarMachine:** Leave the kid out of it, or Tony WILL kill you

 **SpideyDude:** Wait, really?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Have you seen how overprotective he'll get over you, it's kind of creepy but sweet

 **DrStrange:** He cares

 **WarMachine:** He really does

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah, Tony 10/10 best dad

 **BirbyBow:** You can't stop for one fucking minute, can you?

 **SmokeWeed:** NOPE, FIGHT ME

 **BirbyBow:** I WILL IF YOU DON'T FUCKING CHILL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

 **WarMachine:** KIDS CALM DOWN I WILL GET STEVE AND BUCKY AND YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHY I HAD TO CUT THEIR DATE SHORT, YOU CAN DEAL WITH THAT FUCKING MESS AND THE BEAT DOWN THAT COMES AFTERWARDS

 **SpideyDude:** Oh, that's not going to be good

 **BadAssSpiders:** Ya think?

 **SpideyDude:** Good point

 **SmokeWeed:** Yee

 **BirbyBow:** Fucking stop, I just... I beg of you, just fucking stop

 **SmokeWeed:** N O P E FIGHT ME

 **BirbyBow:** I'm not even disapointed at this point

 **BadAssSpiders:** I am

 **BirbyBow:** When are you not, is the real question here

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wow, betrayed by my best friend

 **BirbyBow:** Awwww, thanks

 **SpideyDude:** I don't think you're supposed to awww that man

 **DrStrange:** I'm just going to leave

 **DrStrange** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hoped you liked it. I might have to downgrade uploads to once a week because of school, sorry. I SWEAR I'M ALMOST DONE MAKING A SERVER. Kind of. It might suck. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. Who knows. If y'all wanna send me fanart or something, please use blahblahfanart@outlook.com


	32. What the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just, kind of a thing I threw together, hooray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School sucks.

**SuperNova** has created **Party Planning Society**

 **SuperNova** has added **FutureCorpsman** , **NovaPrime** and **AntDad** to **Party Planning Society**

 **SuperNova:** OKAY. His birthday's in a few days, and we still haven't done anything

 **AntDad:** As admirable is it is, you actually caring about it and all, IT'S BEFORE SCHOOL ON A MONDAY, CAN'T YOU LET YOUR OLD MAN DIE IN PEACE??

 **SuperNova:** I would, but you still haven't gotten the decorations

 **AntDad:** ...fair

 **SuperNova:** No shit, Sherlock

 **AntDad:** Hey, respect your father, boy

 **SuperNova:** Just let me plan this, alright?

 **AntDad:** Whatever

 **SuperNova:** Great

 **FutureCorpsman:** Didn't you say we didn't have time to make an entirely new chat?

 **SuperNova:** I was exhausted, I said a lot of shit

 **AntDad:** True

 **SuperNova:** I didn't ask you

 **AntDad:** Too bad

 **SuperNova:** WHATEVER

 **AntDad:** Calm down

 **NovaPrime:** I don't belive this line of conversation is going anywhere productive

 **SuperNova:** Sorry, ma'am

 **NovaPrime:** Don't be

 **SuperNova:** Right, right...

 **FutureCorpsman:** If it's really that much of a big deal, I'll just get the decorations

 **SuperNova:** Perfect

 **AntDad:** You guys order what you want online for Walmart, and I'll pick it up

 **SuperNova:** ...Walmart?

 **AntDad:** Yes?

 **SuperNova:** You want to get presents... AT FUCKING WALMART?!

 **AntDad:** I thought I made that clear?

 **SuperNova:** WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU GET **BIRTHDAY PRESENTS** AT FREAKING WALMART

 **AntDad:** Because that's where I get all my things?

 **SuperNova:** Oh. That literally explains everything about you

 **AntDad:** And what do you mean by that

 **SuperNova:** I mean, it explains why you're such a garbage person

 **AntDad:** Um, excuse me, the fuck do you mean by that you little shit

 **SuperNova:** I mean that Walmart is a place of terror and degeneracy, why would go there willingly?

 **AntDad:** Um, because they literally have everything in the entire universe?

 **SuperNova:** tHE dOLLar sTORe HaS eVErYTHINg TOo

 **AntDad:** Do you WANT me to get all of Kraglins presents at the dollar store?

 **SuperNova:** ....no

 **AntDad:** Then shut up and order everything online so I can fucking pick it up

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oof

 **SuperNova:** Rhomann, you're on decoration duty now, pick it up after school today. Scott, pick everyone's presents up sometime tomorrow

 **AntDad:** Okay, then

 **SuperNova:** And I'm in the process of getting the cake made, so I'll be able to pick it up Wednesday before the party

 **NovaPrime:** I will help set up decorations

 **SuperNova:** Um, Irani, you don't HAVE to help

 **NovaPrime:** I shouldn't help because...?

 **SuperNova:** I'm sure you're super busy and have more important things to do

 **NovaPrime:** To put it bluntly, no I don't, I'm free today

 **SuperNova:** Oh then... yeah, you should probably help Scott with his Walmart endeavors

 **FutureCorpsman:** Ha, Endeavor

 **SuperNova:** Holy hell, we're not having this argument again

 **FutureCorpsman:** ENDEA-VORE

 **SuperNova:** Just because we have thoughts, doesn't mean we should share them

 **FutureCorpsman:** ALL THOUGHTS ABOUT MY HERO ACADEMIA ARE IMPORTANT

 **SuperNova:** No, no they're not, now calm down

 **FutureCorpsman:** ALL OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT

 **SuperNova:** Can't I have one good day?

 **AntDad:** Apparently not

 **SuperNova:** Dammit

 **AntDad:** Woops?

 **SuperNova:** Whatever, let's just... continue

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yas

 **SuperNova:** Whatever you're doing, you need to stop, like, right now

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fun killer, killer of the fun

 **SuperNova:** Oh, wow, how scathing

 **FutureCorpsman:** And Scott's supposed to be the sarcastic one

 **SuperNova:** Have you... have you met me?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shush yourself, don't be rude

 **AntDad:** Okay, Garthan, did you special order the cake?

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, yeah, I got them to make an All Might cake, just had to pay a little extra for that

 **AntDad:** Oof, hope it didn't cost too much

 **SuperNova:** Nah, not really

 **FutureCorpsman:** LIAR. I saw your credit card bills

 **SuperNova:** Shush, I don't need your input

 **FutureCorpsman:** Wow, thanks

 **SuperNova:** Wow, and I'm supposed to be the sarcastic one here?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh shut it

 **SuperNova:** Oof, wow, I am... SO hurt

 **NovaPrime:** May we please get back on topic?

 **SuperNova:** Oh, uh, yes ma'am, for sure

 **AntDad:** KISS A S S

 **SuperNova:** B A D D A D

 **AntDad:** How many times are you gonna say that?

 **SuperNova:** As many times as it needs to be said, which is a lot

 **AntDad:** Wow, wow, I am too shocked for actual words

 **SuperNova:** Just shut up and remember to get the subpar Walmart presents that you insisted on getting

 **AntDad:** Shut up, Walmart is a perfectly fien place to shope and you fucking know it

 **SuperNova:** Fight me

 **FutureCorpsman:** Please don't actually fight each other

 **SuperNova:** Stay out of this! Walmart is trash, that's that

 **FutureCorpsman:** Christ...

 **SuperNova:** SILENCE MEANS I WON

 **FutureCorpsman:** It means you're being a jerk, but okay

 **SuperNova:** Walmart is trash and you know it

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just... just calm down and plan the party, please?

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, yeah, we'll just have the Walmart debate later

 **NovaPrime:** Or never, how about that

 **SuperNova:** But... but...

 **NovaPrime:** No buts, and certainly no more Walmart arguments, we're getting our stuff there, end of duscussion

 **SuperNova:** Fine...

 **FutureCorpsman:** There we go! Issue solved, now, where are we doing this?

 **SuperNova:** Not my place, it's always so busy

 **FutureCorpsman:** Not my place, it's too far out and my parental units won't allow it

 **AntDad:** Yeah, my place is kinda trash right now, so that's a no go

 **NovaPrime:** My place could be a possibility

 **SuperNova:** Oh, ma'am, you don't have to

 **NovaPrime:** I insist

 **SuperNova:** Well, if you're sure

 **FutureCorpsman:** Sounds great!

 **SuperNova:** Okay then, let's hold it there

 **FutureCorpsman:** Perfect! That sounds good

 **SuperNova:** Yeah, yeah, calm down

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shush it, Walmart hater

 **AntDad:** Oh come on! We just got over this!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh... oops?

 **AntDad:** Honestly, you are WORST CHILD

 **FutureCorpsman:** ASDFGHJKLQWRTYUIO WHY AM I WORST CHILD???? I'M LIKE, THE BEST CHILD YOU HAVE OUT OF THE REST OF THEM

 **AntDad:** You're a fucking terrible child, and you know it you little shit

 **FutureCorpsman:** BUT. BUT. D A D

 **AntDad:** No, nope, nothing could change my mind

 **FutureCorpsman:** Wait, hold on, let me send you something we can do here

 **AntDad:** What do you mean? What the hell-

 **AntDad** Oh. OHHHHHHH. OH YES, HELL YES, LET'S DO THIS SHIT

 **AntDad:** Johnny, Johnny

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yes, Papa?

 **AntDad:** Eating sugar?

 **FutureCorpsman:** No, papa

 **AntDad:** Telling lies?

 **FutureCorpsman:** No, papa

 **AntDad:** _OPEN YOUR MOUTH_

 **SuperNova:** ...I am so disappointed, in so many ways, ways that none of you will ever know

 **NovaPrime:** I think I could take a gander

 **SuperNova:** ...possibly, possibly not

 **FutureCorpsman:** Be real with me Garthan, how do you feel?

 **SuperNova:** Emotionally or physically?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Either or

 **SuperNova:** I mean, emotionally I feel disappointed and exhausted, and physically I ache and hurt BECAUSE OF REASONS I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh, that certainly sucks

 **SuperNova:** You think?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oof. So snippy today

 **SuperNova:** I haven't had all of my coffee yet

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh, well, that certainly explains it

 **SuperNova:** Shush and let me enjoy this

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, how confused are you right now

 **SuperNova:** Solid 8.5/10

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, I'm coming over and helping you

 **SuperNova:** That's probably a good decision

 **AntDad:** So most of this fuckery is caused by the fact that you're confused? Great. Fantastic

 **SuperNova:** Shush, you're the one that wants to go to Walmart, TO GET BIRTHDAY PRESENTS

 **FutureCorpsman:** OH COME ON, WILL YOU JUST DROP IT ALREADY?

 **SuperNova:** I'm gonna dieeee

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh calm down, I'll be there in a minute

 **SuperNova:** NOT FAST ENOUGH

 **AntDad:** Don't you have student council today?

 **SuperNova:** Oh shit

 **NovaPrime:** I could call a cancellation? There's practically nothing to discuss

 **SuperNova:** But. But. THERE'S HOMECOMING THIS WEEK

 **NovaPrime:** And we've planned everything out weeks in advance, we know what we're doing

 **SuperNova:** But... but... you never know what might happen!

 **NovaPrime:** While that's true, you would usually be the one right on something like that, so even if we held a meeting and you showed up, you wouldn't be functional enough to help us, ergo, we cancel the meeting

 **AntDad** Can she even do that?

 **FutureCorpsman:** To be honest, I have absolutely no idea

 **NovaPrime:** If we're being honest here, they kind of let me do whatever I want

 **FutureCorpsman:** What, really?

 **NovaPrime:** Oh yeah, totally serious.

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...something about your tone makes me slightly suspicous but we're on borrowed time, so I don't care

 **NovaPrime:** Not even a little?

 **AntDad:** Who knew she had such a sense of humor?

 **NovaPrime:** I did. No one else does, apparently

 **AntDad:** That's what I was thinking

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oof. But back on the subject, we know that we should host the party at Irani's, but at what time?

 **NovaPrime:** Whenever you want, my parents aren't usually home and I'm sure some of the hired cleaners might be willing to help

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, that's a plan!

 **SuperNova:** Okay, I feel better, I've drunk my coffee, I think I should go to school before I do... whatever it was I doing here before, again

 **FutureCorpsman:** I don't know, man, you ewre pretty out of it before

 **SuperNova:** Well quiet, I'm fine now

 **FutureCorpsman:** Are you sure?

 **SuperNova:** YES, I'M SURE. Jeez, I wasn't that bad

 **AntDad:** Just look at the chat logs FROM 15 MINUTES AGO, YOU KEPT ARGUING WITH ME ABOUT WALMART

 **SuperNova:** Okay, but Walmart isn't a place where sane people go, you have to agree with me on that

 **AntDad:** Just don't argue with me about Walmart, okay? We've done it enough to last us several lifetimes

 **SuperNova:** Okay, but who won?

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...that's what you're concerned about? Not your own mental health?

 **SuperNova:** Okay, was I right, or not. Let's put it like that, now can someone just give me an answer?

 **NovaPrime:** Walmart is a perfectly okay establishment, we should just leave it at that

 **SuperNova:** But it's not an 'okay' establishment at all!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Dude. Drop it. Let's be done

 **SuperNova:** But... but...

 **FutureCorpsman:** D R O P I T

 **AntMan:** PLEASE.

 **SuperNova:** Okay, okay. F I N E.

 **NovaPrime:** Thank you, that was the best thing to do

 **SuperNova:** None of you make me regret this, okay

 **AntDad:** Fine, fine, whatever

 **SuperNova:** ...I'm already feeling it, this isn't a good sign

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, WE HAVE SCHOOL.

 **SuperNova:** Oh, yeah. We do.

 **FutureCorpsman:** So calm down, and let's get going

 **SuperNova:** Fine, fine, fine. I'm going

 **FutureCorpsman:** And promise me that you're not going to pick a fight with anyone over Walmart

 **SuperNova:** I will make no such promise

 **AntDad:** Just get him to school

 **NovaPrime:** You two better hurry up, the meeting's starting in 7 minutes

 **SuperNova:** SHIT

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, so hurry up!

 **SuperNova:** OKAY, I'M HURRYING

 **FutureCorpsman:** HURRY FASTER YOU MORON

 **SuperNova:** SHUT UP, I'M TRYING

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well try harder

 **SuperNova:** OKAY, OKAY, I'M OUT THE DOOR, WHERE's YOUR CAR?!

 **FutureCorpsman:** IT'S RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK YOU MORON

 **SuperNova:** SORRY THAT I'M PANICKING I JUST DON'T WANNA BE LATE

 **FutureCorpsman:** Then hurry, I'm revving my engine!

 **SuperNova:** Okay, okay!

 **AntDad:** Christ, you two are gonna be the death of me

 **AntDad:** Wait, don't you guys have to pick up Kraglin?

 **FutureCorpsman:** SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, RIGHT

 **AntDad:** GO GET HIM, DON'T YOU GUYS NEED TO PUT UP THE NEW SHIP LIST?

 **FutureCorpsman:** SHUT UP, I KNOW NOW, AND WE'RE FREAKING OUT

 **AntDad:** GAS YOUR CAR, YOU MORON

 **FutureCorpsman:** OKAY GARTHAN'S IN, TIME TO GO

 **NovaPrime:** 5 minutes and coutning

 **FutureCorpsman:** IT'S LIKE A COUNTDOWN UNTIL DEATH

 **AntDad:** It's... it's just a countdown until you're late

 **FutureCorpsman:** BEING LATE FOR US IS LIKE DYING

 **AntDad:** There really is no reasoning with you two, is there?

 **NovaPrime:** Oh, they just care... a lot. It's rather nice to find people with such ethusiasm

 **AntDad:** It's not so much enthusiastic as it is... neurotic

 **NovaPrime:** As much as I'd like to disagree... I'm afraid that I have to concur

 **FutureCorpsman:** Rood

 **AntDad:** WELL IT'S TRUE

 **FutureCorpsman:** Still very rood. Rood. Rood.

 **SuperNova:** JUST GO PICK UP KRAGLIN

 **FutureCorpsman:** I'M GOING, CALM DOWN ASSHOLE

 **SuperNova:** I WOULDN'T BE TYPING IN CAPS LOCK IF YOU WOULD FREAKING GO FASTER

 **AntDad:** Aren't you guys in the same car? Why are you using this chat to talk to each other?

 **SuperNova:** Because the radio is on, and a good song is playing, AND I'M NOT RUINING THE SONG WITH MY YELLING YOU PLEBIAN

 **AntDad:** Wow. You are NOT okay

 **SuperNova:** Ya think?!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Calm down!

 **AntDad:** And why are you texting and driving?

 **SuperNova:** Actually, he's using speech to text, I'm holding the phone and hitting send

 **AntDad:** And you're doing this while ALSO texting

 **SuperNova:** Yes?

 **AntDad:** Okay, no wonder why you're both so weird, you guys are such idiots

 **SuperNova:** WE'RE AT KRAGLINS HOUSE

 **FutureCorpsman:** FINALLY, YELL AT THE MOTHERFUCKER TO GET HIS FUCKING ASS IN THE CAR, WHAT A GODDAMN IDIOT

 **AntDad:** I think you're down to 3 minutes

 **SuperNova:** SHIT. Okay, we give him 20 seconds and then we're leaving

 **AntDad:** Okay, I'm not gonna deal with this mess any more than I have to, see you all at school, bye

 **AntDad** has left **Party Planning Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yeah, definitely gonna have to downgrade to 1 a week, I simply don't have time in my schedule for extracurriculars, classes, AND this. So, once a week, I'm sorry, but I have to. I SWEAR I'M ALMOST DONE WITH DISCORD. OKAY?! Until then, you wanna send me anything, use blahblahfanart@outlook.com. Thanks and goodnight.


	33. Totally not friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guardian focused

**Surrender** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Surrender:** Ugh, today is not my day

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oh no, what's wrong?

 **Surrender:** Okay, so Garthan and Rhomann usually pick me up right?

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, your totally not friends

 **Surrender:** Shut up, I never asked you

 **StarMunch:** Wow. Thank you

 **Surrender:** Shush, let me continue my story. Okay, so they pick me up, but today THEY WERE 20 MINUTES LATE AND WHEN THEY CAME, THEY HELD THE HORN FOR LIKE A MINUTE AND SCREAMED AT ME TO GET IN OR THEY WERE LEAVING ME

 **IAmInvisible:** That doesn't sound very good

 **Surrender:** Oh, ya think?!

 **TrashPanda:** Don't be such a jackass

 **Surrender:** That's interesting coming from you

 **TrashPanda:** What did you say to me, you cheeky shit?

 **WorldsDeadlistAcademic:** Kraglin, continue with your story please

 **Surrender:** Thank you Gamora, for being nice one here

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Thank you?

 **HappyLittleTree:** dats meann

 **Surrender:** Shush, tiny child, these matters do not concern you

 **BugOut:** were not tini!

 **Surrender:** The hell you're not

 **StarMunch:** Stop arguing with children and continue the story

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **TrashPanda:** Just talk already

 **Surrender:** Don't get your pants in a bunch, I'm telling it, I'm telling it

 **TrashPanda:** Then hurry the fuck up and tell the story!

 **Surrender:** Then shut the fuck up and listen

 **TrashPanda:** Goddammit, just tell the fucking story

 **Surrender:** Fine, fine, okay, so... after hurrying down to the car, they were revving it up and getting ready to leave me there, THEY STARTED DRIVING DOWN THE STREET WITH THE CAR DOOR OPEN

 **StarMunch:** Oh damn

 **Surrender:** Right, and since they weren't going too fast, I was able to jump in the car

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oh my god! Are you okay?!

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, I'm fine

 **BugOut:** it doesnt sound gud

 **Surrender:** Yeah, it doesn't, but I'm fine though

 **TrashPanda:** I would pay actual money to see you jump into a moving car

 **Surrender:** Well too bad, I'm not doing it again, it sucked the first time

 **TrashPanda:** Aww, please?

 **Surrender:** No. Be quiet, and listen to the damn story!

 **TrashPanda:** Fine, just hurry up, study hall is almost over

 **Surrender:** THEN STOP INTERRUPTING ME

 **StarMunch:** Just... just continue

 **Surrender:** Great. SO LET ME SPEAK PLEASE.

 **Surrender:** So, then once I jumped in, Garthan closed the door, yelled bye into two phones, shut them off, and yelled at Rhomann to speed up because they were going to be late

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** As weird as that is, it doesn't sound so out of the ordinary for those two

 **Surrender:** ...are you sure about that?

 **StarMunch:** Dude

 **Surrender:** Okay, okay, I'm continuing. So, then they were gassing it, like I'm surprised we didn't get into an accident

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Okay, that sounds unlike them, they usually obey the law and don't try anything that could get them arrested

 **Surrender:** Yeah, that's what I mean. The only good thing about that was that we were able to get to school in like a minute

 **StarMunch:** Eek

 **Surrender:** Then they practically rushed inside the school and shoved me in the bathroom before they went to Student Council

 **TrashPanda:** ...it's probably not supposed to sound sexual, but it does

 **Surrender:** Shut up, I don't want to deal with you today, or ever, for that matter

 **TrashPanda:** I feel the same way

 **StarMunch:** As cute as this bromance is, did you finish the story?

 **Surrender:** Fuck off. Okay, so then I did... the thing that I do. They came out and explained that Garthan was a little off-kilter the entire morning and that because of that they were late picking me up, but they need to hurry to their student council meeting

 **StarMunch:** I feel you

 **Surrender:** ...be honest with me, have you been smoking pot?

 **StarMunch:** No

 **Surrender:** Are you sure?

 **StarMunch:** I think I'd remember if I smoked weed

 **Surrender:** Well, it is a memory loss drug...

 **StarMunch:** Wait, really?

 **TrashPanda:** No you freaking idiot, it's not! He's pulling your chain

 **StarMunch:** Oh. Fuck you Kraglin

 **Surrender:** I really couldn't resist

 **StarMunch:** Yeah, yeah you could

 **Surrender:** I just really wanted to see if I could trick you

 **StarMunch:** FUCK O F F

 **Surrender:** Oops, guess I really did trick you?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Lets not go down this road, unless we want an actual fist fight happening

 **TrashPanda:** I don't know... that sounds kinda fun to watch

 **Surrender:** ROCKET NO

 **TrashPanda:** I do what I want, you can't stop me

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I mean... I think we definitely can

 **TrashPanda:** Shush

 **Surrender:** Just... just whatever

 **TrashPanda:** So... that's it?

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, that's it. They were just acting like psychos this morning

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oh, that must not have been fun

 **Surrender:** Yeah... it sucked, and then once they got out, and we did our... thing, yeah, thing

 **IAmInvisible:** That sounds suspicous

 **Surrender:** SHUT UP, NO IT DOESN'T

 **HappyLittleTree:** it dus

 **Surrender:** ...I can't be mad at you, you're too cute

 **StarMunch:** Aww

 **Surrender:** You I can be mad at because you're an asshole

 **StarMunch:** Oof

 **Surrender:** Yeah, I said it, and I don't regret it

 **TrashPanda:** I mean, yeah, I get it

 **StarMunch:** Oof. Why do you all hate me?

 **Surrender:** Because you're an idiot. A MAJOR IDIOT >

 **StarMunch:** How dare you! I'm a minor idiot, at most

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, we're a wholesome family group

 **Surrender:** Well, I mean, compared to what my friends have created, yeah, pretty wholesome

 **TrashPanda:** ...I feel like I need context, but not knowing about whatever hell you've created just seems to be a better alternative

 **Surrender:** I mean... yeah

 **BugOut:** how was ur date

 **Surrender:** Shhhh, don't remind them

 **TrashPanda:** Oh yeah, you had a date yesterday...

 **Surrender:** Oh nooo

 **TrashPanda:** How'd it go??

 **Surrender:** It went

 **StarMunch:** And?

 **Surrender:** It went. That's it

 **StarMunch:** E L A B O R A T E DIPWAD

 **Surrender:** It was... good

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Just good?

 **Surrender:** It was NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Oof

 **StarMunch:** Come on, dude, we just wanna know!

 **Surrender:** And I wanna know if you ever shut up, but you don't see me asking that outside of this example

 **StarMunch:** ...Really

 **TrashPanda:** I mean, yeah, accurate

 **StarMunch:** You all wound me, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS YOU JACKASSES

 **TrashPanda:** Whoops

 **StarMunch:** Don't 'oof' me, you little shit

 **TrashPanda:** Wow, real fucking mature

 **IAmInvisible:** For once, may we not fight?

 **Surrender:** I don't know... fighting's one of the few things we can do together

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Maybe it shouldn't be

 **Surrender:** Oh shush

 **StarMunch:** Don't shush her, that's rude

 **TrashPanda:** Honestly, shut the fuck up before I slap you

 **StarMunch:** So help me that I don't punch you and knock you out

 **TrashPanda:** I WILL BREAK YOUR WALKMAN

 **StarMunch:** You touch my Walkman and so help me, I will tell Yondu where your explosives are

 **TrashPanda:** ...you wouldn't

 **StarMunch:** I would

 **Surrender:** Kids, kids, let's not fight

 **TrashPanda:** Fine, we'll stop fighting on one condition

 **Surrender:** Which would be?

 **TrashPanda:** Tell us how your date went!

 **Surrender:** ...should've known that you would pull tricky shit like that

 **TrashPanda:** So, unless you want to explain why we started fighting to Yondu, give us the tea

 **Surrender:** You and your fucking lingo, okay, fine

 **StarMunch:** YES! It worked

 **Surrender:** I'm so ashamed that you were on it, you little douchebag McGee

 **StarMunch:** Well, I haven't heard that one before

 **Surrender:** Damn right, I'm a creative person

 **TrashPanda:** ...sure, let's go with that

 **StarMunch:** GIVE US DETAILS, NOW

 **Surrender:** Alright, alright, fine, you assholes, hold your horses

 **TrashPanda:** DON'T BE A PUSSY, JUST TELL US

 **Surrender:** Dammit, I told you to WAIT

 **TrashPanda:** Fuck you

 **Surrender:** I am a decent person, what did I do to deserve this

 **TrashPanda:** YOU'RE NOT A DECENT PERSON, AND YOU KNOW THAT

 **Surrender:** Who asked you?

 **TrashPanda:** You literally asked us, you freaking grape

 **Surrender:** Rude. I'm not a grape, I'm a banana for your information

 **TrashPanda:** I DON'T CARE. SPILL IT

 **Surrender:** Okay, so, we went to see a stupid action movie, I can't even remember it, and we shared popcorn and a drink

 **StarMunch:** Awwww

 **Surrender:** Shut up. It was a normal... romantic-ish... date

 **StarMunch:** AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 **Surrender:** SHUT. UP.

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Just ignore Peter, he's being stupid

 **TrashPanda:** When is he not

 **StarMunch:** Sksksksksks

 **Surrender:** Do you guys want me to tell the story or not?

 **StarMunch:** Please do

 **Surrender:** Okay, so, then we watched the movie, we went home, and we talked for a bit, and that was it

 **TrashPanda:** B O R I N G B I T C H E S

 **Surrender:** Shut up you Pyro

 **TrashPanda:** At least I accept what I am

 **StarMunch:** BURN

 **Surrender:** Y'all are literally the worst I swear

 **StarMunch:** No u

 **Surrender:** ...you goddamn bitch

 **StarMunch:** I know you are, but what am I

 **Surrender:** A bitch, I thought we went over this

 **TrashPanda:** Okay, we get it, you don't like old memes

 **StarMunch:** JOHNNY JOHNNY

 **Surrender:** ALREADY STALE

 **StarMunch** I can never fucking win with you, can I

 **Surrender:** NOPE

 **StarMunch:** Damn

 **TrashPanda:** You guys didn't do ONE exciting thing?

 **Surrender:** We saw a movie? That's pretty exciting

 **TrashPanda:** I mean, with each other

 **Surrender:** We still... saw a movie

 **TrashPanda:** Wow. You are dumber than I thought, which is really saying something

 **Surrender:** Well fucking thank you Rocket, just what I need from you

 **TrashPanda:** Yeah, you probably want my charismatic presence

 **Surrender:** You're confusing 'charismatic' with 'traumitising'

 **TrashPanda:** ...fair enough

 **Surrender:** Damn straight

 **StarMunch:** Which you are not

 **Surrender:** ...I ought to beat your ass

 **StarMunch:** But if you pound me so hard, then your boyfriend's gonna get jealous

 **Surrender:** How the hell do I return family because I don't have a fucking receipt

 **TrashPanda:** There's always murder

 **Surrender:** While that's a nice thought, I'd prefer a solution where I don't go to prison

 **TrashPanda:** ...you're really taking the wind out of my sails here

 **Surrender:** Sorry that I don't want to kill people?

 **TrashPanda:** You should be, freaking pansy

 **Surrender:** Shush it, you little fucker

 **StarMunch:** Ugh. You guys are still boring as fuck

 **Surrender:** At least my significant other doesn't call me a dunce at least once a week

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** That is true

 **StarMunch:** Gamora! Don't agree with him!

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** IT'S TRUE

 **StarMunch:** ASDFGHJKL WELL DON'T TELL EVERYONE THAT

 **Surrender:** Ha, fuck you

 **StarMunch:** You see what they're doing now?

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** You can't fault me for being honest

 **StarMunch:** ...I can't. I care about you too much

 **Surrender:** Cute

 **TrashPanda:** See, THEY'RE adorable, why can't you be like that?

 **Surrender:** Talk to me when you actually find someone to date

 **IAmInvisible:** BURN

 **HappyLittleTree:** rosted

 **BugOut:** roasted, 620 toasted

 **TrashPanda:** ...I am so fucking betrayed right now, you guys are the worst, I actually swear

 **Surrender:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I feel nothing but happiness right now, I'm so thankful

 **TrashPanda:** You are all the worst

 **StarMunch:** Aww, you love us don't you

 **TrashPanda:** Pft, no I don't

 **HappyLittleTree:** liar

 **Surrender:** The kid can look through your bullshit too

 **TrashPanda:** Fuck off

 **Surrender:** Aww, look at the tsundere, pretending he doesn't feel love

 **TrashPanda:** Aww, look at the asshole, pretending he's not gonna get his ass beat by me

 **Surrender:** ...fuck off

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Why are all of you so immature?

 **TrashPanda:** It's how we have fun

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** It doesn't sound very fun

 **TrashPanda:** Well, that's what you think

 **StarMunch:** And what she thinks is always correct

 **Surrender:** Not because she's a girl, because she's smarter, and less... of an idiot than you are

 **StarMunch:** ...fair

 **Surrender:** Believe me, I know it is, I remember when you jumped off the roof into that pile of cardboard boxes

 **StarMunch:** Oh yeah... that was fun

 **Surrender:** You broke your arm in two places

 **StarMunch:** Like I said, fun

 **Surrender:** I forgot what a daredevil you were when we were younger

 **TrashPanda:** Oh yeah, didn't he have a youtube channel at some point?

 **StarMunch:** Oh no... please don't...

 **Surrender:** OH YEAH, wasn't it like... StarLordzTrix?

 **StarMunch:** PLEASE DON'T BRING UP MY CRINGY PAST

 **Surrender:** I WILL DO WHAT I WANT, STARLORDZTRIX

 **StarMunch:** OH COME ON, LIKE YOU WEREN'T THE ONE BEHIND THE CAMERA

 **Surrender:** It's much better to be the one on the opposite of the camera

 **StarMunch:** ...I wanna throw hands right now

 **Surrender:** But fights are mean

 **TrashPanda:** Finnawoke right now

 **Surrender:** ...I am so damn done with all of you and your stupid terminology

 **TrashPanda:** Your just sad that Peter and Gamora have a better relationship than you

 **Surrender:** They've been dating for months, HE ASKED ME OUT TWO DAYS AGO YOU FUCKING TWIG

 **TrashPanda:** Wow, what absolutely scathing words

 **Surrender:** Shut up, you scab on society

 **TrashPanda:** Society is a social construct

 **Surrender:** No shit sherlock

 **TrashPanda:** Oof

 **Surrender:** Ugh, I'm too done for this shit, whatever, and study period is almost over

 **StarMunch:** Bye

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops? Yeah, Discord is a no go, there's no way I can make a good server at this point in time, and school takes up a lot of my time. Use blahblahfanart@outlook.com, at least, until I find something better. Thanks. ALSO, POINTS IF YOU CAN GUESS WHO'LL BE THE ONE TO DIE. Kidding. Kind of.


	34. Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers focused

**IronBoi** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **IronBoi:** I hate

 **IronBoi:** I hate all of you

 **IronBoi:** All of you are dead to me

 **BirbyBow:** Nice to see you too, Tony

 **IronBoi:** What the fuck did you guys let me do

 **MightyShield:** Get help?

 **IronBoi:** I was perfectly fine alone, you know that

 **MightyShield:** No, no you were not

 **IronBoi:** I was... fine-ish?

 **MightyShield:** No, no you were not

 **IronBoi:** ...okay so maybe I wasn't, shut up

 **SiberiaSoldier:** You know that basically admits he was right, right?

 **IronBoi:** SH U T TH E FUCK UP B U CK Y

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Ha. No.

 **IronBoi:** WHY DOES NO ONE FUCKING RESPECT ME

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** You have a boat named 'Juicy Ass' for one

 **BirbyBow:** And you also tried to jump off said boat, and then got lost in the woods

 **BadAssSpiders:** You also have no sense of self-preservation, seeing as we had to send people to pick you up and bring you home

 **IronBoi:** Okay, that was ONCE, ONCE

 **BadAssSpiders:** AND you hit on both of them

 **IronBoi:** Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

 **IronBoi:** Who were they?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Pepper and Strange

 **IronBoi:** F U C K

 **SmokeWeed:** Are you okay, man?

 **IronBoi:** ...the fuck, do you actually think I am?

 **SmokeWeed:** I don't know

 **IronBoi:** Dude, you're my closest friend

 **WarMachine:** TONY!

 **IronBoi:** Fine, second closest friend

 **WarMachine:** ...thank you then

 **IronBoi:** Such a needy, needy person

 **WarMachine:** WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE TODDLERS

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, needy

 **WarMachine:** Well, at least I don't pass out at cafe's and have to be carried home

 **IronBoi:** Low blow

 **WarMachine:** You fight dirty, I fight dirty

 **IronBoi:** ...perhaps you truly are my closest friend

 **SmokeWeed:** Wow, really feeling the lover over here

 **IronBoi:** Oh calm down, I just had to stop Rhodes from feeling too insecure

 **WarMachine:** Okay, shut up now

 **IronBoi:** It's true though

 **SmokeWeed:** Why

 **IronBoi:** He won't say it, but he's upset if he's not considered my best friend

 **WarMachine:** I am questioning all my life decisions now

 **IronBoi:** Aww, for me?

 **WarMachine:** ...fuck off

 **IronBoi:** Oof, I am... wounded, so hurt, so VERY hurt

 **MightyShield:** Are you okay? You're kind of acting immature

 **IronBoi:** ASDFGHJKL YOU'RE IMMATURE

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yes, Tony, that's precisely how you deal with criticism

 **IronBoi:** Aw, thank you

 **SiberiaSoldier:** ...because you know what sarcasm is, I'm going to assume that you're being a little shit

 **IronBoi:** Aw, you know me so well

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Sometimes I wish I didn't

 **IronBoi:** Now, I know you don't really mean that

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Hmmmm, maybe I do, maybe I don't, the world will never know

 **IronBoi:** Oof

 **MightyShield:** Okay, Bucky, that's enough

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Oh come on, it's just some harmless fun

 **MightyShield:** Still...

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Okay, Steve, if you really want me to

 **MightyShield:** Thanks Buck **IronBoi:** Gay

 **MightyShield:** Tony

 **IronBoi:** BUT IT'S TRUE

 **MightyShield:** Tony

 **IronBoi:** Fine, fine, that was the last one

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Better be

 **Mindroid:** How was waking up today?

 **IronBoi:** A bit less painful than yesterday

 **Mindroid:** Good, and how was my dad?

 **IronBoi:** He was... interesting to say the least

 **Mindroid:** How so?

 **IronBoi:** He was really concerned and shit, which isn't odd, but then he started teasing me about the people that brought me over

 **Mindroid:** Oh, that's not that bad?

 **IronBoi:** For you, maybe, not for me

 **Mindroid:** Oh?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, when your butler starts teasing you about dating, it can be pretty weird

 **Mindroid:** I don't know anything about that, but sure

 **IronBoi:** Oof

 **Mindroid:** But he has a habit of doing that sometimes

 **IronBoi:** Why didn't you warn me?

 **Mindroid:** Because you were asleep? And I was doing homework? After seeing a movie with Wanda

 **IronBoi:** Fair point

 **Mindroid:** I know

 **MightyShield:** But everybody was mostly okay after Saturday?

 **RedMagic:** Pretty much

 **MightyShield:** Well that's good to hear!

 **IronBoi:** Not me

 **MightyShield:** We know, Tony

 **IronBoi:** It fucking sucked

 **MightyShield:** We know Tony

 **IronBoi:** ...don't patronise me Steve

 **MightyShield:** Sure Tony

 **IronBoi:** I feel the patronising power you have through the screen Steve

 **SpideyDude** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **SpideyDude:** Hello everybody!

 **IronBoi:** Hey kiddo

 **SpideyDude:** Oh, hi Mr. Stark!

 **IronBoi:** What's up?

 **SpideyDude:** Not much, just some cool classes, that's it, what about you?

 **IronBoi:** Eh, just my friends being jackasses as usual

 **SpideyDude:** Why can't you guys be nice to Mr. Stark!

 **SiberiaSoldier:** ...kid...

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** When is this idolization of Tony going to end, it's so misguided

 **BirbyBow:** I know, right?

 **SpideyDude:** But he's cool!

 **BadAssSpiders:** Kid, after seeing him be a giant idiot at the party, you STILL think he's cool

 **SpideyDude:** ...yeah

 **WarMachine:** I'm his best friend, and even I don't respect him all that much

 **IronBoi:** DUDE

 **WarMachine:** What? I'm being honest, you do moronic things all the time

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, but you didn't need to tell the kid that

 **SpideyDude:** It's okay, Mr. Stark! We all act like idiots at some point

 **IronBoi:** ...you are such a precious cinnamon roll, never change

 **SpideyDude:** o...kay?

 **WarMachine:** Aw, look, Tony's attached, awww

 **IronBoi:** NO I'M NOT. SHUT UP.

 **WarMachine:** YOU TOTALLY ARE

 **IronBoi:** Shuuuuuuush

 **WarMachine:** Don't shush me

 **IronBoi:** I'M FUCKING SHUSHING YOU RHODEY

 **DeadMemes** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **DeadMemes:** School's not even halfway done, and there's already tons of notifications in this chat

 **SmokeWeed:** Welcome to notification hell

 **DeadMemes:** Oof

 **SmokeWeed:** Roasted, and toasted

 **DeadMemes:** Almost as toasted as Elon Musk

 **SmokeWeed:** Eyyyy

 **DeadMemes:** Eyyyy

 **IronBoi:** Oh my god, that happened like weeks ago, it's OVER

 **DeadMemes:** Do... do you not see my name?

 **IronBoi:** I see your name, I just choose not to acknowledge it because dead memes should stay dead, and that's that

 **DeadMemes:** Omae wa mou shindeiru

 **SmokeWeed:** Nani?

 **DeadMemes:** *DEATH*

 **SmokeWeed:** Plbt. I dead

 **IronBoi:** It's like a bunch of cringy 12 year olds that're in a room together

 **DeadMemes:** Accurate enough I suppose

 **IronBoi:** See, even you agree with it

 **DeadMemes:** I just like making people cringe

 **BirbyBow:** What a chaotic evil

 **IronBoi:** Shut the fuck up Clint, no one cares

 **BadAssSpiders:** I care, kind of

 **IronBoi:** Of course you care, you two are as thick as thieves

 **BirbyBow:** Damn straight

 **IronBoi:** Yes, damn those heteros

 **BirbyBow:** Christ, dude

 **IronBoi:** Oof

 **BadAssSpiders:** Y'all need jesus

 **IronBoi:** We fucking know, Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** But did you guys hear about the attacks lately? They've been happening more and more

 **MightyShield:** Oh man, that's not good

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, even one of the kids at our high schools been attacked

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Oh no, who?

 **BadAssSpiders:** I don't think we even knew them, someone named Oblo, but yeah, someone found his body yesterady

 **MightyShield:** That's... terrifying

 **BadAssSpiders:** I know, I just thought you all should know

 **MightyShield:** Thank you for telling us

 **BadAssSpiders:** You're welcome

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Remember everybody, be safe

 **IronBoi:** Don't worry, we will

 **RedMagic:** Yeah, we should probably travel in groups from now on

 **BirbyBow:** So basically... keep doing what we're doing

 **RedMagic:** Yeah, pretty much

 **BirbyBow:** Neato

 **BadAssSpiders:** Please stay safe everyone, I don't want anything to happen to any of you

 **IronBoi:** Ditto

 **WarMachine:** We'll make sure to be careful

 **IronBoi:** You better

 **WarMachine:** I will

 **SpideyDude:** We'll stay safe for sure, Mr. Stark!

 **IronBoi:** Kid, please don't do anything stupid

 **SpideyDude:** Okay!

 **IronBoi:** I'm serious! Okay? I really am

 **Mindroid:** Don't worry sir, we'll keep a close eye on him

 **IronBoi:** Thanks Vis

 **Mindroid:** No problem sir, we want everyone to be safe

 **IronBoi:** Still... it really does mean a lot

 **SpideyDude:** You really don't have to worry that much you know, I'll be perfectly fine, I swear it!

 **IronBoi:** You're flat out lying to me and you know it

 **SpideyDude:** No-No I'm not

 **IronBoi:** Not exactly instilling me with confidence here

 **SpideyDude:** I know, I know, just... don't worry too much

 **IronBoi:** You can't stop me, I'm going to worry no matter what

 **SpideyDude:** I know, I just... don't want anyone to worry over me, I don't want to feel useless

 **IronBoi:** You're not useless, but I really don't want anyone to be hurt, and you're so young.... it makes me worry

 **SpideyDude:** Oh... okay, I'll try not to make you worry then, Mr. Stark!

 **IronBoi:** Thanks kid

 **WarMachine:** You really are attached...

 **IronBoi:** Maybe

 **BadAssSpiders:** Tony...

 **IronBoi:** Okay, fine, I am

 **BadAssSpiders:** At least you admitted it

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, yeah, I have feelings, surprise, surprise

 **BadAssSpiders:** None of us are surprised at that, we're more surprised that you're acting like a dad to Peter, it's adorable

 **IronBoi:** What? Uh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I act like a friend to him, F R I E N D. Not a dad

 **WarMachine:** ...debatable

 **IronBoi:** Okay, you be quiet, I'm not acknowledging you right now

 **WarMachine:** Oof

 **IronBoi:** Shut the fuck up

 **WarMachine:** Calm down

 **IronBoi:** FIne, fine, just a little on edge, I'm kinda worried

 **WarMachine:** We can tell

 **IronBoi:** I'm this close to punching you, I swear to god

 **WarMachine:** Oof, don't swear, otherwise Steve'll get mad

 **MightyShield:** ONE TIME. IT WAS. ONE. TIME.

 **WarMachine:** One time is all it takes

 **MightyShield:** You know, I think I've realized that

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Not really

 **MightyShield:** ...aren't you supposed to be on my side?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm on the side I want to be on

 **MightyShield:** Oof

 **SiberiaSoldier:** But of course most of the sides I want to be on are yours

 **MightyShield:** Aww

 **IronBoi:** Get a room you two!

 **MightyShield:** ...we're in school

 **IronBoi:** Then go to the bathrooms or something, smh

 **MightyShield:** DUDE

 **IronBoi:** Just being honest

 **MightyShield:** Still man, kinda rude

 **IronBoi:** Sorry

 **MightyShield:** ...it's fine

 **IronBoi:** Okat then

 **MightyShield:** So are you going to ask out Strange or Peper, or both

 **IronBoi:** DUDE

 **MightyShield:** Now you know how I feel when you ask dumb stuff

 **IronBoi:** ...fair, that's pretty fair

 **MightyShield:** I know

 **IronBoi:** Oof

 **SpideyDude:** Well, Mr. Stark, what did you think was going to happen?

 **IronBoi:** ...my own child turned against me

 **BirbyBow:** HA! You admitted he was your child! You've adopted him, no take backs

 **IronBoi:** FUCK

 **SpideyDude:** What

 **BadAssSpiders:** Nothing kid, just that you have a new dad

 **SpideyDude:** WHAT

 **IronBoi:** Can you leave the kid out of this?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Aww, look, he cares about his new adopted child

 **IronBoi:** Honestly, fuck you Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** You love me and you know it

 **IronBoi:** One of these days it's not going to be true

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, but today is not that day

 **IronBoi:** Still, fuck you

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh wow, how much effort and thought into that one?

 **IronBoi:** A lot, I'll have you know

 **MightyShield:** Come on you two, stop fighting

 **IronBoi:** I'll fight as much as I damn well please

 **MightyShield:** Well maybe you shouldn't

 **IronBoi:** wELl MaYBe yOU SHOulDN't, that's you

 **MightyShield:** What is your problem?

 **IronBoi:** I'm grumpy and embarrassed, what's your excuse for the stick up your ass?

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Rude

 **IronBoi:** Oof

 **BadAssSpiders:** Why can't we go one day without fighting?

 **IronBoi:** Because fighting might actually bring us closer together than anything else?

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'd say you were wrong but...

 **IronBoi:** If I was, none of us would be as close as we are

 **BadAssSpiders:** Uhh... true, I guess

 **IronBoi:** I'm right, I know I am, none of you can convince me otherwise

 **BadAssSpiders:** You end up being wrong about a lot of things though

 **IronBoi:** You know what, Nat, why don't you fight me, then we'll see how wrong I am

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'll kick your ass, you know that, right? You really don't stand a chance against me

 **IronBoi:** ASDFGHJKL I WON'T LOSE

 **WarMachine:** Not to but in or anything, but you will, we all know you will

 **IronBoi:** BETRAYED BY MY OWN FRIENDS, FAKE FRIENDS SMH

 **WarMachine:** Not fake, just the truth

 **IronBoi:** ASDFGHJKL F A K E

 **WarMachine:** Is... is he okay?

 **MightyShield:** I don't... I don't really think so

 **SmokeWeed:** I mean, a mood

 **DeadMemes:** Oh, totally

 **BirbyBow:** Can you two just be quiet for once in your lives?

 **SmokeWeed:** Nope

 **DeadMemes:** NEVER!!!!

 **BirbyBow:** God, can I just have one good day?

 **DeadMemes:** You again? Give it a rest, buddy

 **BirbyBow:** Everyone has betrayed me, life has betrayed me

 **SmokeWeed:** When has it not betrayed you, tbh

 **BirbyBow:** You be quiet, you are actually the reason my life sucks

 **SmokeWeed:** Excuse you, I am a great person, what do you mean?

 **BirbyBow:** I mean, everything you do and create has done nothing but make me suffer

 **SmokeWeed:** Well that's you, everyone else enjoys them

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFGHJKL DON'T EVEN

 **SmokeWeed:** D O N ' T T E S T M E Y O U T H O T

 **BirbyBow:** That physically hurts to read that, I hope you know

 **SmokeWeed:** Believe me, I know, I did that one purpose

 **BirbyBow:** Whatever. I'm leaving, I don't need this bullshit

 **BadAssSpiders:** Goodbye

 **BirbyBow** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG ONE OF YOU E-MAILED ME. I'm so happy! It really means a lot that someone took time out of their day to do that. I'M SO HAPPY, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM?! Okay, okay, I'm calm now, I just love you guys. And I hope you love this story as much as I do. (:


	35. Garthan, you moron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SSS focused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: rennezwrites

**FutureCorpsman** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan, you moron

 **Surrender:** Shit, what did he do this time?

 **FutureCorpsman:** He's sick. He's fucking sick. As in, he has to stay in bed all day sick

 **Surrender:** THE MOTHERFUCKER

 **FutureCorpsman:** I know, right?

 **Surrender:** How the hell did he get sick? In all the time I've known him, he's never gotten sick

 **FutureCorpsman:** Turns out he caught a cold Saturday night, and he's been hiding it

 **Surrender:** How the hell did you find out?

 **FutureCorpsman:** He started sending me weird texts like two hours ago, at like, midnight, and I was concerned so I went to go see what was up, turns out he was throwing up and had a fever

 **Surrender:** So you stayed and helped?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, his brothers were trying their best to help, but they were so overwhelmed that it's not even funny

 **Surrender:** Oof, that's not good

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, ya think?

 **Surrender:** Don't be so snappy

 **FutureCorpsman:** IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING

 **Surrender:** ...pussy

 **FutureCorpsman:** FUCK OFF

 **Surrender:** It's just two in the morning

 **FutureCorpsman:** School starts in six hours

 **Surrender:** Your point is?

 **FutureCorpsman:** My point is that it's too early for this shit

 **Surrender:** It's never too early for anything

 **FutureCorpsman:** Then do you wanna get over here and take care of a puking Garthan? Because I sure don't

 **Surrender:** Against my better judgement, I'll say yes and help you

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...really? R E A L L Y?

 **Surrender:** Okay, don't be so sarcastic, I'm not falling asleep anytime soon and I just wanna do something right now

 **FutureCorpsman:** Well, you better get over here, I think I bit off more than I could chew

 **Surrender:** I get it

 **FutureCorpsman:** THEN GET OVER HERE

 **Surrender:** FINE, I'M GOING YOU ASSWIPE

 **AntDad** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **AntDad:** What the hell are you arguing about now?

 **FutureCorpsman:** We're not arguing

 **AntDad:** Fine. What are you word fighting about?

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **FutureCorpsman:** We're not 'word fighting', we're talking about Garthan

 **AntDad:** I still think you're fighting

 **Surrender:** Well we're not

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, we were just discussing if Kraglin could come over to help me take care of Garthan, becaues I need help

 **AntDad:** I would, BUT IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING

 **FutureCorpsman:** Partypooper

 **AntDad:** Excuse me for wanting all of you to get a decent amount of sleep once in a while

 **FutureCorpsman:** I don't believe you heard me, P A R T Y P O O P E R

 **AntDad:** R E S P E C T

 **Surrender:** Respect, on a boat ride!

 **AntDad:** You're a dissapointment to this family, go commit air not reach lungs

 **Surrender:** First of all, you're not cool enough to use memes, second, fuck off

 **AntDad:** Oof

 **Surrender:** Whatever, I'm just... not going to sleep now and go help Rhomann

 **AntDad:** Well, good luck with that you little shit

 **Surrender:** Oh go fuck yourself

 **AntDad:** What a rude child, who fucking raised you?

 **Surrender:** ...it's too early to deal with you, I'm just gonna go

 **AntDad:** Yeah, you do that, you son of a bitch

 **Surrender:** Okay, be quiet, I can't physically deal with you, IT'S TOO STRESSFUL

 **AntDad:** I am wounded

 **Surrender:** As you should be

 **AntDad:** Whatever, go help Garthan

 **Surrender:** NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME NOT WANT TO

 **AntDad:** I don't really care, NOW DO IT

 **Surrender:** ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM FUCK OFF

 **AntDad:** Don't caps lock at me

 **Surrender:** I do what I want

 **FutureCorpsman:** Will you two stop word fighting and HELP ME

 **Surrender:** PFT, what do I look like? A helpful person

 **FutureCorpsman:** I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE?!

 **AntDad:** You're acting kind of panicked, what happened?

 **FutureCorspman:** Barf. A lot of fucking barf

 **AntDad:** Oh hell no, I'm out

 **AntDad** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Coward

 **FutureCorpsman:** Agreed

 **Surrender:** Whatever, I guess it's just us now, I'll come over

 **FuutreCorpsman:** Wait, get your boyfriend to help!

 **Surrender:** What? No. No fucking way, man

 **FuutreCorpsman:** PLEASE

 **Surrender:** Ask him yourself

 **FuutreCorpsman:** You know he won't respond if it's me asking

 **Surrender:** I know

 **FutureCorpsman:** ASSHOLE

 **Surrender:** Fine, I'll text him, just know that he might not respond

 **FutureCorpsman:** Thank you!

 **Surrender:** Fuck O F F

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oof

 **Surrender:** Don't fucking oof me

 **FutureCorpsman:** I oof whoever the hell I want to

 **Surrender:** Whatever

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just text him, you coward

 **Surrender:** I'm doing it, I'm doing it! Sheesh, calm down a bit

 **FuutreCorpsman:** ...you can say that when you deal with what I'm dealing with, NOW HURRY UP

 **Surrender:** FINE. I texted him to come to the chat, so he might or he might not show up

 **FutureCorpsman:** Cool, I guess

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **Deadpool** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Deadpool:** Yo, what's good, my dudes?

 **Surrender:** ...please never do that again

 **Deadpool:** Sorry, I do what I want, when I want to

 **Surrender:** You hurt me

 **Deadpool:** Oof

 **FutureCorpsman:** Hate to interrupt this absolutely wonderful moment, BUT CAN YOU GUYS HELP ME OR WHAT?!

 **Deadpool:** What's his deal?

 **Surrender:** Well, what happened was that Garthan got sick, Scott chickened out, and I agreed to go over, and he kind of wants you to help us

 **Deadpool:** ...really?

 **Surrender:** I shit you not

 **Deadpool:** You better

 **FutureCorpsman;** THE ONLY THING YOU BETTER DO, IS HELP ME

 **Deadpool:** Well I'm not gonna help you with that attitude

 **FutureCorpsman:** ASDFGHJKL JUST GET DOWN HERE BEFORE HE THROWS UP AGAIN

 **Deadpool:** Errrr...

 **FutureCorpsman:** Please don't back out on me

 **Surrender:** Hmmm...

 **FutureCorpsman:** Both of you are terrible!

 **Surrender:** Got that right

 **FutureCorpsman:** Both of you are going to be the death of me

 **Deadpool:** You're probably not wrong, maybe

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's two in the morning, and I don't want to deal with either of you and your weirdness, be there or be square. As in, square up, I will fight you

 **Surrender:** I mean... fair enough

 **Deadpool:** Sure, if you think

 **NovaPrime** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **NovaPrime:** All the notifications woke me up, why are you all up so early?

 **Surrender:** TLDR; Garthan's sick

 **NovaPrime:** O... kay?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, and I'm currently taking care of him, AND I NEED SOME HELP HERE SO IF I COULD GET SOME THAT WOULD BE GREAT

 **Surrender:** Oh calm down

 **FutureCorpsman:** As I've said before, F I T E ME

 **Surrender:** Um, no

 **FutureCorpsman:** You are actually a bad person, and I hope you know this

 **Surrender:** Oh please

 **Deadpool:** Get off his case man

 **FutureCorpsman:** I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GET ON SOMEONE'S CASE IF ANY OF YOU WOULD HELP ME?

 **Surrender:** FINE, WE'LL HELP YOU

 **NovaPrime:** Maybe I'll help you? Maybe, it's really late

 **FutureCorpsman:** For you, fair

 **Surrender:** Why does she get a free pass?!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Because she's not usually up at two in the morning, and you guys are

 **Surrender:** Well... fair, I guess

 **FutureCorpsman:** I KNOW

 **Surrender:** Don't be so salty

 **FutureCorpsman:** I swear, you are like the worst person I've ever met and I'm not kidding

 **Deadpool:** What about me?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, how could I possibly forget about you? The ACTUAL worst person I've ever met

 **Deadpool:** As long as we're clear on that

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, because that's the thing that needs to be clear, currently

 **Deadpool:** Ya yeet

 **FutureCorpsman:** You are the only person that makes me regret life

 **Deadpool:** I mean, true, but rude

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **Deadpool:** It's true and you know it

 **Surrender:** I didn't say it was wrong

 **Deadpool:** Abandoned by my boyfriend, a new low

 **FutureCorpsman:** WILL ANY OF YOU FUCKING HELP ME ALREADY

 **NovaPrime:** I'll be willing to

 **FutureCorpsman:** FINALLY

 **NovaPrime:** I'll just need a 20 minutes to get over there, it's a bit far

 **FutureCorpsman:** Thank you so much ma'am!

 **Surrender:** Well now I have to make sure Garhtan and Irani don't have sex, so now I HAVE to go

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...wat

 **NovaPrime:** Um... huh?

 **Surrender:** Well, I mean, yeah...

 **Deadpool:** You're gonna make them vomit, stop

 **Surrender:** SHUT UP

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, we can deal with that mess later, now, shit or get off the pot Kraglin

 **Surrender:** Huh?

 **FutureCorpsman:** HELP ME OR FUCK OFF

 **Surrender:** Wow, how rude

 **FutureCorpsman:** What the hell did I just say to you, SHIT OR GET OFF THE GODDAMN POT

 **Surrender:** Eat my shorts

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just kill me, it would be less painless than this

 **Deadpool:** I'd be willing to do that

 **FutureCorpsman:** THEN DO IT

 **NovaPrime:** I'd prefer not be an accessory to murder

 **FutureCorpsman:** It's not so much murder as assisted suicide

 **NovaPrime:** Still illegal

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shit, well then what am I gonna do now?

 **NovaPrime:** Help your best friend?

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...sure

 **Surrender:** Oof, don't let Garthan read that

 **FutureCorpsman:** He's too sick to do anything right now, much less read something

 **Surrender:** Fair I guess, I'm on my way over btw

 **FutureCorpsman:** Thanks, finally

 **Surrender:** Yeah, yeah, calm your tits

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fuck off, I'm way too tired to deal with your bullshit, get over here so I can punch you

 **Surrender:** Oof. Not good

 **FutureCorpsman:** ...ya think?

 **Surrender:** Fine, be sassy and rude

 **FutureCorpsman:** I will, until you decide if you're helping me or not!

 **Surrender:** FINE. I'LL HELP YOU, JEEZ

 **FutureCorpsman:** THANK YOU THEN, COULD'VE JUST TOLD ME A WHILE AGO BUT NOOOO

 **Surrender:** Yes, we get it, you're salty

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, I'm freaking salty

 **Surrender:** I think I can tell

 **FutureCorpsman:** Don't be such a smartass

 **Surrender:** Should I be a dumbass instead?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Honestly, yes

 **Surrender:** Okay, here's me doing my best impression of a dumbass

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay?

 **Surrender:** Hi, my name's Rhomann

 **FutureCorpsman:** OH. OH. We're going there, well screw you

 **Surrender:** Aw come on man, that's just rude

 **FutureCorpsman:** You called me a dumbass!

 **Surrender:** Come on man, I was kidding, chillax

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, ha ha ha

 **Surrender:** I know that's sarcastic laughing

 **FutureCorpsman:** Come on man, I was kidding, chillax

 **Surrender:** Oh you're a petty bitch, are you?

 **NovaPrime:** Can you two please not fight? 

**Surrender:** But... but...

 **FutureCorpsman:** No buts, we listen to her

 **Surrender:** Ugh, fine

 **NovaPrime:** Thank you. Now, Rhomann, is there anything specific that you want me to bring over?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, so I need some more towels and maybe a can or two of some chicken noodle soup? That would be great

 **NovaPrime:** I'll try my best, be there soon!

 **FutureCorpsman:** See, Kraglin, she's helping me and being a good person

 **Surrender:** Wow, way to not be an asshole

 **Deadpool:** Okay, it's just turned into a suckfest now, STOP BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WITH EACH OTHER, IT'S NOT COOL

 **Surrender:** Oh come on, it's not that bad

 **NovaPrime:** It's pretty bad

 **Surrender:** No, shush

 **NovaPrime:** I really don't think I should?

 **Surrender:** Ugh, why does no one listen to me?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Because you're terrible at giving advice and coming up with ideas?

 **Surrender:** BITCH

 **FutureCorpsman:** Whatever, I'm starting to care less and less

 **Surrender:** RUDE

 **NovaPrime:** I've arrived

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh thank goodness

 **NovaPrime:** Okay then?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Garthan finally fell asleep, I'm so happy, he stopped throwing up so I'm gonna take a nap, Irani, please watch him

 **NovaPrime:** I think you need to let me in the house first

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh... right, that, sorry

 **NovaPrime:** Thanks

 **Deadpool:** Wonderful, I'm going to bed now

 **Surrender:** What?! No. If I have to help take care of Garthan, you have to help take care of Garthan

 **Deadpool:** Have mercy, please

 **Surrender:** Hell no

 **Deadpool:** Well damn, guess I have to?

 **Surrender:** Damn right you do

 **Deadpool:** Okay, do you want me to pick you up on my way over?

 **Surrender:** Yeah, that'd be great!

 **FutureCorpsman:** GET A ROOM

 **Surrender:** STEP OFF MAN

 **FutureCorpsman:** Don't take that tone of text with me

 **Surrender:** I'll take whatever tone I want with you

 **FutureCorpsman:** Prick

 **Surrender:** Asshole

 **FutureCorpsman:** Look, can you two get over here already? We need to have a group watching out for him when he wakes up, and we're gonna have to do this all night until we have to leave for school

 **Surrender:** OH COME ON

 **Deadpool:** You can't expect us to actually be able to function after that

 **FutureCorpsman:** Listen, we'll stop for coffee before school

 **Surrender:** Listen, WE NEED SLEEP

 **NovaPrime:** Besides, who's going to watch him when we're at school?

 **FutureCorpsman:** His brothers

 **Surrender:** Why aren't they watching him now?

 **FutureCorpsman:** They have been since yesterday night, they're exhausted

 **Surrender:** SO WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE THE ONE'S EXHAUSTED NOW

 **FutureCorpsman:** Because we want to help his family, okay?

 **Surrender:** Ugh

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just get over here, you can nap on the floor until he wakes up

 **Surrender:** Fine, but we're grabbing Scott on the way over, if we have to suffer, he has to suffer

 **FutureCorpsman:** Fair enough

 **Surrender:** Damn right

 **NovaPrime:** Does somebody have cough medicine then?

 **Surrender:** We'll grab it on the way over, after we get some food, who wants burgers?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay yeah, that'd be great, can I have a bacon cheeseburger?

 **Surrender:** Hmmm, maybe? If I decide that I want to give you one, maybe, Irani, you want anything?

 **NovaPrime:** Grilled chicken sandwich with extra pickles!

 **Surrender:** Gross but sure

 **Deadpool:** Should we get Scott anything?

 **Surrender:** We'll get him shitty fries

 **Deadpool:** Perfect, amazing

 **FutureCorpsman:** Just get here soon before he wakes up again, I really need to take a nap

 **Surrender:** Oh nevermind then, I'll just take forever then

 **FutureCorpsman:** Don't be a dick, it's not cool

 **Surrender:** Whatever, I'll be there soon, calm down

 **FutureCorpsman:** Bye

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya bitch got a Tumblr, follow at: rennezwrites, you can ask or submit a post, and I'll be there with updates on my story.


	36. Kill me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guardian focused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr: rennezwrites

**Surrender** has entered **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

 **Surrender:** Ugh, kill me, kill me, kill me please

 **StarMunch:** Are... are you okay?

 **TrashPanda:** It's too early to want to die, school hasn't started yet

 **Surrender:** I HAVEN'T FUCKING SLEPT

 **StarMunch:** ...why?

 **Surrender:** I had to help take care of Garthan, who got sick ON SATURDAY AND DIDN'T FUCKING TELL US ANYTHING

 **StarMunch:** Oof

 **Surrender:** And as soon as I got there to help take care of him, he woke up and started throwing up, and that was an entire mess

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** Wow, that doesn't sound good

 **Surrender:** You think? Anyways, I was there with Wade, Scott, Rhomann, and Irani

 **StarMunch:** That doesn't sound fun

 **Surrender:** I got to make Scott suffer, so I count that as a win

 **StarMunch:** Fun

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** I'm surprised all of you were there

 **Surrender:** Yeah...

 **StarMunch:** So that's why you're dead inside

 **Surrender:** Not quite but sure

 **StarMunch:** Don't be so dramatic

 **Surrender:** Prick

 **StarMunch:** Sure

 **Surrender:** Shut up and let me be angry and vent because honestly this morning has been a sleepless nightmare of epic proportions, and I just want to cry

 **StarMunch:** Sorry? I guess, I don't really know

 **Surrender:** Honestly, you're kind of the worst

 **StarMunch:** I know that, but you don't need to say it

 **Surrender:** I am so fucking tired, I have had 3 cups of coffee and I don't feel anything yet, it's horrible

 **WorldsDeadliestAcademic:** That sucks

 **Surrender:** Yeah, it does, anyway, I'm just sitting in the cafeteria with everyone else and we're all eating cold fast food

 **StarMunch:** That sucks

 **BugOut:** mmhmm

 **Surrender:** Okay, what's with that sass?

 **BugOut:** ur usually up very lte dis isnt vry dffrent

 **Surrender:** IT'S DIFFERENT BECAUSE IT'S JUST USUALLY ME SITTING ON MY BED DOING NOTHING, BUT THIS TIME I HAD TO MOVE AND GRAB STUFF AND BE A FUNCTIONAL PERSON AND IT WAS TERRIBLE

 **StarMunch:** Oh yeah, being a functional human is so terrible

 **Surrender:** Okay, wow, I didn't ask for this disrespect

 **StarMunch:** Then don't complain to us about this kind of shit!

 **Surrender:** Still, rude

 **StarMunch:** Get over it, we're all tired, also, fast food?

 **Surrender:** Okay, calm down, and yes, it's fast food, from Wendy's or... Burger King, maybe it's McDonald's?

 **StarMunch:** Damn millenials, they have no sense of brand loyalty

 **Surrender:** Um... I thought we were Gen Z?

 **StarMunch:** Honestly, depends which website you look at

 **Surrender:** True, I guess

 **StarMunch:** 'You guess'

 **Surrender:** Oh shut up, I'm exhausted

 **StarMunch:** Let's be honest, you're ALWAYS EXHAUSTED

 **Surrender:** YES BUT I'M NOT USUALLY THIS LEVEL OF EXAHUSTED YOU TRAITOROUS ASSHOLE

 **StarMunch:** Oh fuck off you daft watermelon

 **Surrender:** Dude, you're not British, stop it

 **StarMunch:** And you shouldn't be tired either, so shut the fuck up you actual dipwad of a person

 **Surrender:** Oh my god, shut up

 **StarMunch:** No u

 **Surrender:** I am disappointed and hurt, I am your brother, AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!

 **StarMunch:** You will have sympathy from none of us

 **Surrender:** You are a horrible person, and I hope you know this

 **TrashPanda:** Believe me, he relishes in it

 **Surrender:** Honestly, you two are really fucking creepy

 **TrashPanda:** You said it not me, so...

 **Surrender:** Whatever, I'm gonna talk with people who understand me, SO BYE

 **StarMunch:** Bye you lazy asshole

 **Surrender:** DICK

 **Surrender** has left **Guardians of the Galaxy Bitches!**

* * *

**Surrender** has entered **Secret Shipping Society**

 **Surrender:** Who else wants to die

 **FutureCorpsman:** All of us, every single one of us wants to die

 **Surrender:** I can only blame you though

 **FutureCorpsman:** Excuse me for wanting to take care of our friend in his time of need

 **Surrender:** HE HAD A COLD AND HE THREW UP A FEW TIMES, HE WASN'T DYING

 **FutureCorpsman:** You don't know that, what if he was?

 **Surrender:** By then, he'd be at a doctor and we could visit him

 **FutureCorpsman:** Still...

 **SuperNova:** Guys, I'm not dead

 **Surrender:** Sometimes, I still hear his voice...

 **SuperNova:** Honestly, you guys are so rude sometimes

 **FutureCorpsman:** You know Kraglin couldn't miss that oppurtunity

 **SuperNova:** I still wish he would've

 **FutureCorpsman:** Shush, we're all very tired and non-functioning

 **SuperNova:** And how do you think I feel about this situation?

 **NovaPrime:** As bad as that is Garthan, I have now come to the conclusion that the only thing worse than being sick is taking care of someone who's sick

 **Surrender:** HA, she gets it

 **SuperNova:** Oh well, isn't that fantastic?

 **Surrender:** Don't be such a salty person

 **SuperNova:** Oh FUCK OFF, I am so sick right now, and all I've heard today is 'Oh Garthan, you're an idiot' and 'Oh, Garthan, why didn't you tell us'

 **Surrender:** To be fair, you are a giant idiot so...

 **SuperNova:** I CAN'T CONTROL MY FUCKING IMMUNE SYSTEM

 **Surrender:** That's because you aren't trying hard enough

 **SuperNova:** I'm actually going to kill you

 **Surrender:** I mean, what else is new?

 **SuperNova:** Honestly, fuck you

 **Surrender:** Whatever, you're an idiot and a fuckwad for not telling us, case closed

 **SuperNova:** How rude

 **FutureCorpsman:** You know what was rude? Trying to keep the fact that you're sick a secret from your friends until you start feverishly texting them at TWELVE IN THE MORNING YOU ASSHOLE

 **SuperNova:** Okay, be quiet, I wasn't that sick

 **FutureCorpsman:** Your exhausted brothers would beg to differ

 **SuperNova:** Oh come on, they're lazy, you know that

 **Surrender:** Yeah, but they're the ones that have been taking care of you, so

 **SuperNova:** SHUT UP

 **FutureCorpsman:** Let's not fight

 **SuperNova:** You're the one that started this whole mess!

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh no way, you're the one that got sick, you asshole

 **SuperNova:** Okay, I wouldn't have gotten sick if Kraglin hadn't had the party

 **Surrender:** OH, you're blaming ME now?!

 **SuperNova:** Well, I did get sick at the party

 **Surrender:** OH, DO YOU WANNA GO?

 **SuperNova:** Go where?

 **Surrender:** I MEAN FIGHT YOU DUMBASS

 **SuperNova:** Well I'm sorry that I'm a normal fucking person WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SLANG IS

 **FutureCorpsman:** That's pretty sad, dude

 **SuperNova:** Oh shut up, it's not like you understand it either

 **FutureCorpsman:** You take that back

 **SuperNova:** Make me

 **Surrender:** Okay, this is turning into an actual fight, so let's not?

 **SuperNova:** YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID WE HAD TO FIGHT

 **Surrender:** I'm allowed to regret things, duh

 **SuperNova:** I'm actually going to lose it, you are all the WORST

 **NovaPrime:** Well, gee, thanks for that

 **SuperNova:** You know what, you're included

 **NovaPrime:** WHY

 **SuperNova:** You guys didn't HAVE to come over, so I don't know what you're complaining about

 **FutureCorpsman:** WE CAME BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT YOU

 **SuperNova:** YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE ABOUT ME

 **FutureCorpsman:** BUT WE DO

 **SuperNova:** AGHH, IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO ARGUE IWTH ANY OF YOU PEOPLE

 **FutureCorpsman:** THEN DON'T ARGUE WITH ANY OF US YOU DUMBO

 **SuperNova:** Okay, I didn't ask for your opinion at any point in this conversation

 **Surrender:** Well tought shit, you're getting our opinions

 **SuperNova:** ASDFGHJKL

 **Surrender:** OwO a flustered teen

 **Deadpool:** UwU

 **SuperNova:** If one of you makes another owo I'm killing you all

 **Surrender:** If you could get your ass out of bed

 **SuperNova:** Do you want me to fight you? Because that's what you're making me want to do right now

 **Surrender:** As if

 **NovaPrime:** Maybe this conversation isn't one we need to have right now

 **Surrender:** No, come on

 **NovaPrime:** I'm serious, it's way too early to even be clear-headed enough to discuss this

 **Surrender:** ...I'd say you were wrong but Wade's passed out and everyone can barely keep their eyes open

 **NovaPrime:** I know, he's leaning on my shoulder and drooling on his phone screen

 **Surrender:** I'd grab him, but I don't want to lean over the table

 **NovaPrime:** And that reason in itself proves that we really shouldn't be having any sort of arguments when we're like this

 **Surrender:** UGH, fine

 **NovaPrime:** Thank you, Kraglin

 **SuperNova:** Honestly, I think we're all in perfectly fine shape to argue

 **NovaPrime:** Garthan, do not argue with me, I just said that we're in no shape to do so

 **SuperNova:** But... but... I literally have nothing to do, I'm still sick and my brothers are taking care of me

 **NovaPrime:** Then browse the internet, get caught up on the shipping stats, I don't care, just don't argue with me

 **SuperNova:** Ugh, maybe, I don't know

 **NovaPrime:** It wasn't a suggestion

 **SuperNova:** You know, I always hate it when people say it

 **NovaPrime:** Oh well, too bad then, too bad, because I'm doing it because none of you know any better

 **SuperNova:** When did you get so sassy?

 **NovaPrime:** It probably had something to do with the fact that I got up at 2 am, AFTER staying up late to study for a test, took care of a vomiting and sick person, and now I'm eating cold fast food, it has not been a great day

 **SuperNova:** YOU ALSO DIDN'T HAVE TO COME

 **NovaPrime:** I CAME BECAUSE IT WOULD'VE BEEN RUDE NOT TO

 **SuperNova:** YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY CAERS ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT

 **NovaPrime:** I KNOW, BUT I FREAKING CARE

 **SuperNova:** YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE

 **NovaPrime:** WHEN DID I ASKF OR YOUR OPINION ON THAT?

 **SuperNova:** YOU DIDN'T, BUT I GAVE IT ANYWAY

 **FutureCorpsman:** Can... can you two stop having a conversation in caps? It's kind of freaking me out because I'm not sure if I'm supposed to read it as yelling or not

 **SuperNova:** OKAY AND WHEN DID WE ASK YOU TO INTERJECT AT ANY POINT IN OUR CONVERSATION?

 **FutureCorpsman:** And you're not going to stop, well, isn't that just fantastic

 **NovaPrime:** WELL WE'RE NOT GOING TO STO NOW, SINCE YOU MADE IT A GAME

 **Surrender:** As fun as it is seeing people bond at Rhomann's expense, let's not

 **SuperNova:** YOU HAVE LITERALLY DONE NOTHING PRODUCTIVE TODAY, SHUT UP

 **Surrender:** Excuse you, I freaking helped when you were sick, you jackass

 **SuperNova:** THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

 **Surrender:** Too late for that, buddy!

 **SuperNova:** NONE OF YOU HAD TO COME OVER AND LECTURE ME

 **Surrender:** NoNe Of YOu hAD To COmE oVEr AnD LeCTuRE mE

 **SuperNova:** OKAY, RUDE

 **Surrender:** Okay, and what have you been all day?

 **SuperNova:** ...RUDE?

 **Surrender:** Ex-fucking-actly

 **FutureCorpsman:** Why are you all so angry?

 **Surrender:** BECAUSE WE HAVE GOTEN NO SLEEP, YOU BITCH WAFFLE

 **FutureCorpsman:** Can you all just be nice, for one minute?

 **Surrender:** ...and who do you think you're talking to again?

 **FutureCorpsman:** I was hoping decent people, but apparently not

 **Surrender:** Okay, who gave you permission to be sassy

 **FutureCorpsman:** Me

 **Surrender:** ...okay, fair

 **FutureCorpsman:** Yeah, so shut up

 **Surrender:** Big oof

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, it's still way to early for this today

 **Surrender:** No shit, Sherlock

 **FutureCorpsman:** Didn't I tell you to shut up?

 **Surrender:** Do you really think I'm going to listen to you?

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, seriously, what crawled up your butt and died?

 **Surrender:** My happiness

 **Deadpool:** Moooooooood

 **Surrender:** Oh shit, you finally up?

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, Irani pushed me off her shoulder, so I woke up

 **Surrender:** That sucks, I guess

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, I was comfortable too

 **Surrender:** Too bad, so sad

 **Deadpool:** Oh wow, look at all that sass

 **Surrender:** You know you love it

 **SuperNova:** Bleh, gag with me a spoon, no one wants to see that

 **Surrender:** Oof

 **Deadpool:** Okay, enough with the oofs

 **Surrender:** There will never be enough oofs

 **Deadpool:** Okay, shut up

 **Surrender:** O O F

 **Deadpool:** I will reach across this table to slap you, don't think I won't do it

 **Surrender:** You little shit

 **Deadpool:** I'm a big shit

 **Surrender:** You are the worst, man

 **Deadpool:** I mean, yeah, pretty much

 **Surrender:** Wait no, don't agree with me

 **Deadpool:** But it's true

 **Surrender:** No it's not

 **FutureCorpsman:** YOU TWO ARE WAY TOO MUSHY

 **Deadpool:** Okay, you can't speak, shut up

 **FutureCorpsman:** Rude

 **Deadpool:** Yeah, no shit honey

 **Surrender:** Wow, right in front of my salad

 **FutureCorpsman:** You two are basically a pair of demons sent from hell to make us suffer, aren't you?

 **Surrender:** Hmm, maybe, maybe not

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, wow

 **SuperNova:** I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest

 **NovaPrime:** Didn't we agree to be nice to each other?

 **SuperNova:** We did no such thing

 **NovaPrime:** You should

 **SuperNova:** Shush, we're all tired people that don't want to suffer

 **NovaPrime:** Oh calm down, I know that none of us want to suffer

 **Surrender:** Except for Rhomann apparently

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oh come on!

 **Surrender:** If it wasn't true, you wouldn't have called us over AT ASS O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING

 **FutureCorpsman:** You were the one that came over

 **Surrender:** Only because I felt bad

 **SuperNova:** Wow, thanks

 **Surrender:** You shut up, you've been saying we should care less, so you don't get an opinion here

 **SuperNova:** Come over right now, I'm fighting you

 **Surrender:** Stand up without falling back down and throwing up, then we'll actually talk about a fight

 **SuperNova:** SO HELP ME

 **FutureCorpsman:** Okay, how about instead of fighting each other, we prank Scott?

 **SuperNova:** Oh yeah, isn't he there with you guys?

 **FutureCorpsman:** He left to go to the bathroom, and they were getting too invested in their phones, so I went to look for him, and I found him passed out in a stall

 **Surrender:** Ooo, that's inviting some chaos

 **SuperNova:** You have to send me some pictures

 **Surrender:** Yeah, of course

 **NovaPrime:** How are guys going to mess with him? This doesn't seem like an entirely great idea

 **Surrender:** To be honest, nothing we do is a good idea

 **NovaPrime:** I can tell

 **SuperNova:** So what are you guys gonna do

 **Deadpool:** To be honest, we have no idea, but you can be sure to hear about it from him later

 **SuperNova:** Fair, I guess

 **Deadpool:** Wow

 **Surrender:** Okay, we gotta go in order to properly plan this thing, see you all later

 **SuperNova:** Bye then

 **Surrender** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

 **SuperNova:** Don't forget to do the things

 **FutureCorpsman:** The... the things, yes, the things...

 **Deadpool:** What the hell are you guys talking about?

 **NovaPrime:** Nothing

 **Deadpool:** Sure...

 **FutureCorpsman:** Oof

 **SuperNova:** Bye

 **SuperNova** has left **Secret Shipping Society**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR COWARDS, it's rennezwrites, you got that? Submit a post or an ask, and I will most definitely answer it because I don't have a life outside of the internet. Thanks, FOLLOW ME


	37. I am not surprised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I'm so sorry. My computer broke and I have to use my phone to type now, I'm so sorry. It's been almost two months! Wow. I got into Supernatural and Lucifer, (the show not the character in SPN). And that's me. Again, I'm sorry about the hiatus but hopefully it's fixed now but it will take longer to update because my phone is trash.

**BirbyBow** has entered **Avengers Assemble**

 **BirbyBow:** Ugh, todays sucks guys

 **IronBoi:** I'm not surprised

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh, you poor baby, what happened?

 **BirbyBow:** I know you're being sarcastic, but I'm telling my story anways

 **BadAssSpiders:** Hmph

 **BirbyBow:** Okay, so I had come in like twenty minutes before school starts, to do homework and all that, and I was just working on calculus when this guy screams from the bathroom and comes running out to his friends, who are absolutely still and stone-faced, except this one dude whose face is just totally red

 **MightyShield:** I'm not getting a good vibe from this

 **IronBoi:** Shut up Steve

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** That wasn't very cash money of you

 **IronBoi:** I didn't ask for memes

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Surprise, surprise, you got them anwyays

 **IronBoi:** Oh be quiet

 **BirbyBow:** Can you two shut up?

 **IronBoi:** You shut up

 **BirbyBow:** I literally came here to tell my story, LET ME TELL MY STORY YOU ASSHAT

 **IronBoi:** Fine, calm down you big baby

 **BirbyBow:** Honestly, fight me

 **IronBoi:** Get me someone that would be actually be a challenge and then we'll talk

 **BirbyBow:** Prick

 **IronBoi:** Well, I certainly do try

 **BirbyBow:** That's probably not something to really brag about

 **IronBoi:** Bitch. Does it look like I care?

 **BirbyBow:** Honestly, I don't know

 **IronBoi:** Okay, now that's insulting

 **BirbyBow:** ...how?

 **IronBoi:** I have no fucking idea

 **BirbyBow:** *hand movement* Boi

 **IronBoi:** Don't you creepy astericks me

 **BirbyBow:** I do what I want, excuse you

 **MightyShield:** Clint, just tell your story and be done

 **BirbyBow:** Fine, fine, whatever

 **MightyShield:** Just please

 **BirbyBow:** Okay, okay, so the guy runs to his friends, right? And on his face is a bunch of scribbles, and he has a KFC bucket on his head

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Blegh

 **BirbyBow:** Fair, anyways, he starts yelling at them, and they're all just looking down at their feet, trying not to laugh, and as he chews them out and then walks away, his shoes are fucking GONE and it's only McDonalds boxes on his feet

 **IronBoi:** So his friends pranked him with fast food?

 **BirbyBow:** Yeah, that was my morning, how was yours?

 **IronBoi:** Not as eventful, I just carpooled with Bruce

 **MightyShield:** Thank goodness that you finally started doing that

 **IronBoi:** Shush it

 **MightyShield:** What? I'm just happy you two started going to school together, it's safer that way

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, yeah, I know

 **MightyShield:** Just be safe guys

 **BirbyBow:** Sure Steve

 **SiberiaSoldier:** He's not joking, he actually cares about you assholes

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Aww

 **SiberiaSoldier:** I'm serious man

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** I know

 **IronBoi:** Okay, guys, we get it, be safe, blah blah blah

 **MightyShield:** Don't 'blah blah blah' my concerns

 **IronBoi:** It's how I deal with worry be quiet

 **BadAssSpiders:** How many times do I have to tell you Tony, SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST

 **IronBoi:** You're gonna have to drag me to an office

 **BadAssSpiders:** Bitch I can

 **IronBoi:** I know you can, but will you?

 **BadAssSpiders:** At this point, probably

 **IronBoi:** Shit

 **BadAssSpiders:** That's right, so shape the fuck up

 **IronBoi:** Alright, alright, just don't be so terrifying

 **BadAssSpiders:** I do what I want, when I want

 **IronBoi:** We know, we've had to live through it

 **BadAssSpiders:** Rude

 **IronBoi:** No shit

 **MightyShield:** Come on, you two, play nice

 **IronBoi:** Wow, way to be an overbearing dad, man

 **MightyShield:** Leave me alone

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Tony...

 **IronBoi:** Just a joke

 **MightyShield:** I know, it's called sarcasm

 **IronBoi:** Oh you little shit

 **MightyShield:** Gotcha

 **BadAssSpiders:** You are all boring people

 **IronBoi:** Says the one who hangs out with us all the time

 **BadAssSpiders:** You see, if I do ironically it doesn't count

 **IronBoi:** Well, isn't that neat

 **BirbyBow:** Oof, has our entire friendship been a charade this whole time?

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm sorry Clint, it has to be this way

 **BirbyBow:** Wow, it's hurting so much, how could you? How could you... *bleh*

 **BadAssSpiders:** Did... did you just die?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeet, bitch

 **BirbyBow:** ...no, no, nO

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yas, yas, yasss

 **BirbyBow:** SHUT THE FUCK. UP.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Fight me, honestly

 **BirbyBow:** Excuse you, I don't wanna die

 **IronBoi:** ...are you sure about that?

 **BirbyBow:** Hmmmmmmmmmm maybe, maybe not

 **MightyShield:** If y'all don't stop talking bad about yourselves, I'm going to actually start punching you all

 **Mindroid:** Please don't, we would actually die

 **IronBoi:** Um, excuse you I wouldn't, I would kill him. Thank you for coming to my TED talk

 **BadAssSpiders:** Uh no

 **SmokeWeed:** Yeah, I'm going to agree with Nat on this

 **IronBoi:** Oh yeah, that makes sense

 **BadAssSpiders:** And what's that supposed to mean

 **IronBoi:** Hmm, oh, nothing, absolutely nothing at all

 **SmokeWeed:** Then how come I don't feel like it's nothing?

 **IronBoi:** Oh, you feel something alright

 **BadAssSpiders:** Tony, shut your mouth right now before I remove your tongue

 **DeadMemes:** Big oof

 **BirbyBow:** Okay, how about no? Please?

 **DeadMemes:** As if you'd be that lucky, only death will bring that privilege

 **MightyShield:** Can we also stop talking death because it's actually making me worry about all of your mental healths and honestly, I can't stand that much worry about my grades, least of all other human beings

 **IronBoi:** How about letting us be dark humored Gen Z-ers?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Don't think your ass is off the chopping block yet, Tony. I'm still gonna beat your ass

 **IronBoi:** Um, yeah. Which is why I'm hiding from you, you psycho

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Why the fuck are egging her on, do you ACTUALLY have a death wish

 **IronBoi:** ...do you really want me to actually answer that?

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** ...on second thought probably not, so let's talk about something else, like how much Clint's calculus grade sucks depite it being less then a month since school started

 **BirbyBow:** Bitch, you wanna go? I'll beat your ass half-way to Thursday

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Um, do you legit think that you have the strength to take on anybody?

 **BirbyBow:** Rude

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Are you sure that you're not projecting your own issues onto me?

 **BirbyBow:** While thst is certainly a problem, it's not MY problem per se...

 **IronBoi:** I would very much say it's one of your problems

 **BirbyBow:** Like I'm letting the freaking KING of projecting pass judgement on me

 **IronBoi:** Oh very fucking rude

 **BirbyBow:** At least my head isn't on Nat's chopping block

 **BadAssSpiders:** That's very much true, and Tony, I'm fucking coming for you, so

 **IronBoi:** Ohohoho... I'm in danger

 **WarMachine:** The only danger you're in is the fact thst you're starting to think in meme formats

 **IronBoi:** Then I've been in severe danger for fucking years

 **DeadMemes:** Oof 

**BirbyBow:** Can we stop saying 'oof, it's not that good of a word

 **DeadMemes:** Bitch, bet

 **MightyShield:** Can we pleased not fight for once in our friendship, just... please?

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, like that's gonna work

 **MightyShield:** Don't argue with me

 **IronBoi:** I'll argue with whoever I want to argue with

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Tony, let it be

 **IronBoi:** Fine, but only because I don't want both you and Nat on my ass at the same time

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Good choice, for now

 **IronBoi:** ...well, shit, that's not entirely ominous at all, no sir

 **WarMachine:** Would it kill you to not be a sarcastic little bastard for five minutes, just for once? Maybe?

 **IronBoi:** Yes, in fact, it would. My brain would dry up from not making witty and intelligent remarks and I'd be rendered as good as dead

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** So pro: have a peaceful day, also a pro: Tony dies

 **IronBoi:** F U C K Y O U B I R D B O Y

 **BirbyBow:** Does this mean that I'm the coolest birdy boy?

 **IronBoi:** Well... for now, maybe

 **BirbyBow:** Haha! Fucking take that, Sam!

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Oh shut up, I'm still the best, I'm acing Calc AND I'n a year younger than you

 **BirbyBow:** ASDFGHJKL SCREW YOU, THIS IS YOU "I'm AciNG CalCuLUs" THAT'S FUCKING YOU

 **MightyShield:** Oh, that's it you two, calm down

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Yeah, it's getting to be a bit much at this point

 **IronBoi:** O K A Y, fine. Honestly I can't even have fun anymore and that's tragic, press F in chat to pay respects

 **BirbyBow:** Hard pass

 **IronBoi:** Shut it Birby Hoe

 **BadAssSpiders:** Wow, scathing

 **SmokeWeed:** Oh, yeah, you are SO dead

 **IronBoi:** Maybe I should sell tickets so people can spit on my grave, it would be a very lucrative business opportunity.

 **BirbyBow:** I mean... yeah, probably. A lot of people don't really, oh... what's the word...

 **FlyBoyDonuts:** Tolerate his stupidity or his existance?

 **BirbyBow:** Yeah, that

 **IronBoi:** Okay, first of all, rude, second, fuck you guys. I'm not selling any tickets to you then.

 **MightyShield:** Tony, you're not selling any tickets PERIOD

 **IronBoi:** BUZZKILL. Honestly, y'all never let me do anything fun

 **WarMachine:** By fun you mean incredibly dangerous and ill-advised?

 **IronBoi:** Okay, the robot spiders on heelies were a good idea, just... maybe the releasing of them in art class wasn't

 **WarMachine:** NONE OF THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA

 **MightyShield:** Wait, he did WHAT

 **DeadMemes:** Honestly, it was hilarious

 **IronBoi:** Damn right it was

 **MightyShield:** Tony... what the hell. Just... what the hell

 **IronBoi:** Oh, look. I broke him. 

**SiberiaSoldier:** Yeah, I can tell, you should actually see the look on his face

 **IronBoi:** Oh yes, send me a picture later, I so wanna see that

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh, Tony...

 **IronBoi:** I'm scared to answer but yes, Nat?

 **BadAssSpiders:** So, I'm in the lunchroom talking with Stephen and Pepper...

 **IronBoi:** Wait, what? No. No. NO.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh, yes, yes, yes. Now get down here before I tell them

 **IronBoi:** I TOLD YOU IN CONFIDENCE YOU SNAKE

 **BadAssSpiders:** SO DID I

 **IronBoi:** ...fuck, okay, fine. I'll meet you there.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Damn right, snitch

 **MightyShield:** Guys, please don,t kill each other

 **BadAssSpiders:** Fine, no murder. But how about a little light maiming?

 **MightyShield:** N A T

 **BadAssSpiders:** Fucking fine, Steve. You asshole

 **SiberiaSoldier:** Nat, calm down. I know you're mad but being mean is not the answer.

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, I know. It's not Steve's fault that Tony is an asshole.

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, it's my dad's fault

 **MightyShield:** And Tony, don't blame all your problems on your daddy issues, it's unbecoming

 **IronBoi:** 'It'S uNBecOmINg', that's you

 **WarMachine:** Tony, stop it

 **IronBoi:** You stop it

 **WarMachine:** Tony...

 **SmokeWeed:** Come on man, face your punishment

 **IronBoi:** But I didn,t even do anything!

 **BadAssSpiders:** You keep being a dick about what I told you and it's not okay, alright?

 **IronBoi:** So you respond by being a bigger dick? Nice

 **MightyShield:** Okay, come on, let's resolve this like mature and reasonable people

 **IronBoi:** But... but we're not

 **MightyShield:** JUST ACT LIKE IT FOR FIVE FREAKING MINUTES, OKAY?!

 **IronBoi:** Umm, okay then...

 **MightyShield:** Now, Nat. You feel like Tony betrayed you, right? You feel hurt because you told him something serious and you feel like he's done nothing but make jokes and tease you

 **BadAssSpiders:** Yeah, that's it. I trusted him as one of the friends that I've known the longest, and he's just done nothing but make a mockery out of my trust

 **MightyShield:** Okay, yes, that is a legitimate reason to be angry. Your feelings are valid and heard. Tony, what do you have to say?

 **IronBoi:** I... I didn't mean to hurt Nat. I don't really know how to deal with my own emotions, much less someone else's. I didn't think about how Nat would feel. I make jokes about how I feel, and I didn't realize that I can't do that with other peoples feelings. I'm sorry Nat

 **BadAssSpiders:** Oh, wow, Tony, thank you for opening up like that. I know it's hard to do, and it's brave that you shared this with everyone. 

**MightyShield:** See how much better this is? If you both would just talk to each other instead of relying on knee-jerk reactions to every problem, this wouldn't happen

 **BadAssSpiders:** I know, it's just hard not to when you're like us. Thanks, Steve

 **MightyShield:** And that goes for all the rest of you too, I'm starting to get tired of playing the mediator to easily solvable problems.

 **IronBoi:** You are good at it though, maybe you should be a therapist. You could definitely help a lot of people, it could be cool

 **WarMachine:** It would be a good fit for you

 **SiberiaSoldier:** They're not wrong Steve

 **MightyShield:** Awww guys, you're all great! Except for when you're not, which... is quite often

 **DeadMemes:** Oof

 **IronBoi:** Anways, I'm coming down to the cafeteria now that I'm probably not going to die

 **BadAssSpiders:** Actually, you probably don't want to do that. I may, or may not, have kind of... told Stephen and Pepper?

 **IronBoi:** Uh, I'm sorry, but... WHAT

 **MightyShield:** Oh, come on. Really? Just as progress was being made!

 **IronBoi:** WHAT THE FUCK NAT

 **WarMachine:** Natasha, what did you tell them?

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, Tony should really be the one to tell you...

 **IronBoi:** Well, you told Pepper and Stephen, WHY NOT TELL EVERYBODY ELSE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean...

 **IronBoi:** Oh you know what you meant

 **BadAssSpiders:** I'm sorry, I just... I was mad and that's no excuse for betraying your trust but I really do regret it now

 **WarMachine:** WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

 **BadAssSpiders:** Well, Tony may like both Pepper and Stephen in a... romantic way. 

**Mindroid:** Oh dear... I can see how that'd be distressing

 **IronBoi:** Yeah, no shit Vis. IT FUCKING SUCKS

 **WarMachine:** Tony, you know they can both see this group chat?

 **IronBoi:** Well... shit. I'm gonna go yeet myself off the roof now, see y'all later

 **MightyShield:** Wait Tony, class is starting! The bell's gonna ring soon!

 **IronBoi:** Fuck fuck fuck, okay, fine. Bye. I'm gonna panic now.

 **IronBoi** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Merry Christmas, and hopefully I can have this up by New Years!

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? Leave a comment and kudos! Because those keep me going, they are my sustenance. Luv y'all.


End file.
